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I once opened a can of cosmoline in my garage to preserve an old engine block from an old Monte Carlo Super Sport. I passed out from the vapors and In a foggy haze I could see Sergei Mosin, Sergei Simonov, and Mikhail Kalashnikov standing over me chanting "oora, oora, oora..."

I asked them... "Ghosts of the Motherland, What is your wisdom?"

To which they replied... "♥♥♥♥ the Fascist Pigs."

I woke up in the hospital with the nurse telling me I was singing the Soviet anthem while they were wheeling me in the emergency room.