Shinai naru Boku e Satsui wo Komete
My Dearest Self With Malice Aforethought

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As someone working in the psychology field, it always fascinates me how writers portray persons with mental disorders. I have always been a fan of the mystery and suspense genre, what I like is especially how they write characters with mental disorders. But like I always tell my students, mental disorders portrayed in fiction are not always a general representation of that disorder. This manga tells a story of the protagonist with Dissociative Identity Disorder, one of the rarest mental disorders in America and yet it's the most trivialized and more fictional books have been written with this disorder than any of the common ones. ... So, my perspective in writing this review is as a fan of the mystery and suspense genre and not as a psychologist. So I will not critique the inaccurate writing of someone with DID because like I said, there is still so little research about it, especially the cause and how the symptoms manifest.

STORY: 10
It starts up really quickly it's about Urashima Eiji an ordinary student who went out drinking and then, woke up with a girlfriend and no recollection of what happened. As a reader, I was treated with clues that I would piece together, I like that the author didn't underestimate the readers and tried to subvert expectations in the wrong way. All I can say is that the predictability of the plot is good, the plot twists are there to confirm what the reader has been speculating. It's the joy of being a mystery reader that your hunches and speculations are right. It just shows that the writer is capable of sprinkling in clues and foreshadowing in his writing.

I like how the theme of the story was explained in the end and that it really connects with the title. The story also tackled not only one mental disorder but several others such as PTSD and ASPD (also one of the rarest and trivialized mental disorders).


ART: 9

I like that the art doesn't shy away from the darkness of the story. I like the semi-realistic art of it. I don't really critique much about the art but I like it, I wish though that U Eiji and H Eiji have a distinct art to them like the fashion choices for example, so that the readers can clue in more who is U Eiji and H Eiji.

Enjoyment: 10

Overall it was a thrilling ride it's a page-turner every chapter.

OVERALL: 10 It's a good read a thrilling escape from reality.

From the first chapter, you will be hooked! The story focuses on the MC and his memory gaps. The author give little hints throughout the story as to whats going on and its so well-written. The plot twists and the mysteries are just so amazing that it left me shocked. I usually dont usually enjoy murder mysteries or psychological manga but this one is something that you all should read! I really like how the characters are written be it the antagonist or the protagonist. Thankfully, the MC isnt your typical horny guy but someone who actually is likeable and enjoyable to read about.

I don't know if i have seen better first chapter. If you love your psychological shit this manga is for you. Main character is young teenage boy, and ofc only thing he thinks about is losing his virginty. One night after few drinks with friends he got drunk and picked up his stuff and left the party. But what he didn't expect is him waking up in his bad but his not alone. Next to him is hottest girl in school. How that happend? Read and find the reason. There is only 8 chapter translated at the moment, so i hope someone picks up this ... series.

this is my first time writing a review, I rarely write reviews but this manga was just too good, and underrated asf, I finished this a few months ago and was surprised to see the low amount of users and reviews.

From start to finish "To my dearest Self with malice aforethought" was absolutely brilliant. I love psychological manga and this was one of the greatest pyscological manga, along with Blood on the tracks, monster, and pun pun. Kind of a mind fuck but entertaining nevertheless, each page had me flabbergasted with the amount of goddamn plot twists and the engaging plot overall.

Art is ... a 10/10, The art was phenomenal, and the artist has a very unique and grotesque style, which I personally endeared. Also loved the character designs.

Characters are a 9/10, B1 being my favorite along with rei, some characters were a bit forced but nothing serious

Plot was 9/10, entertaining from start to finish, I read all 90 chapters in less than a day. Plot twists were AMAZING, you never knew whether or not a character was really good or not, since most mfs switched up on my man eiji. Also another thing to mention, the plot is a bit incoherent at times since the story is a bit fast paced and it has some time skips and flashbacks to create a deeper understanding of each character. Nothing serious though

Overall 10/10 One of my favourites, definitely give it a read.

My Dearest self with malice aftertought really was interesting to read. I couldn't help but turning pages over and over; the lector really is immerged onto the story.
Though I enjoyed discovering the many plot (twists) which fabricated the story...I feel like there's this little something which can't make me fully enjoy it.
The professionalism of the story maybe gets its own point on the "personal enjoyment of the reader"; what I mean is, for sure, characters are interesting with their many personal stories which create emotions to the reader...but still I find it hard to really appreciate one character, this little je ne sais quoi which ... comes to complete the overall emotions you could feel toward a story, a world and make it dear to your heart, memorable.
Plus, even if all the characters are needed to create the story picture, some feels underdevelopped, leaving them to be there as "super useful but...yeah...why are they really here?"...still I get it...so I don't know how to really feels toward this problem I find haha...this is the reason I put a 8 to this manga, personal curiosity prevailing.
But, for sure this story is worth reading, well played, well written with a semi realistic style which comes to complete it quite greatly.

It seems strange for it to be all a 10 but I'm not the kind of persons who criticizes like "the art is good,but sometimes lacky when you look at a background" or "it's the same concept of story as many other mangas that are better than this",I just want to say that reading this manga means you will be hyped to read every new chapter and say "i feel bad that I have to stop now".
This manga deserves more and I hope it will receive an anime adaptation too in the future.
It's one of the best mangas I have ever read,it got my adrenaline ... pumping,goosebumps, and all that great stuff one wants from a manga.
Hope you'll follow my advice,just know you won't regret it.

I legitimately think this is one of the most underrated mangas of all time, I won't understand anyone giving this manga a score lower than 9.
Anyways, if want to know why this manga is so good, just look at other reviews that have enjoyed this manga as much as I have.

(This was where my review was gonna end but MAL doesn't let short reviews get posted, so here I go I guess)

I think the thing this manga does the best is genuinely surprising you and keeping you on the edge with its repeated plot twists, and these plot twists are revealed so fucking masterfully that ... they all make sense from the perspective of our main character and the information we have as a reader.

The other thing this manga does great gives you genuine horror while reading it. This could be the most underrated aspect of this manga but the art is genuinely drawn so horrifyingly well that the plot twists have literally given me more chills than most horror mangas failed to do. The psychological horror aspect of this story is what makes it a fucking 10/10.

People say that perfect mangas don't exist that's why they don't give anything a 10, but I follow the idea that if a manga does anything beyond what I expected from this medium of art then it has pushed the boundaries of what manga as an entertainment medium can achieve with the story, and this manga does this with being one of the most cleverly written plots and characters with genuinely horrifying art in the best moments.

I think this is one of those mangas that you should definitely try to read in your life time.

This has to be one of, if not the best high-stakes murder mystery manga out there! From beginning to end the whole ride was nothing but thoroughly thrilling and energetically enticing. Damn, this shit’s even got me speaking in alliteration, that’s just how epic it was!

The title really intrigued me the first time I saw it, "My Dearest Self with Malice Aforethought". I mean, you gotta admit that sounds badass af. That would be a sick album title, so of course I absolutely had to check this manga out. Woo boy, it definitely did not disappoint!

I find that high stakes mystery series often focus too ... much on the insanity of their characters and lose sight of what makes this whole genre so damn interesting in the first place, the tactics with which these characters interact with each other. It’s the psychological traps and mind games that are going on behind the scenes that enrapture my imagination, I don’t give two shits about how insane a character unless it plays a genuine role in the deductive reasoning of it all. So many of these series, such as "Dokuzakura", "Juujika no Rokunin", and "Happy Sugar Life" fail to capture the level of intricacy created within this series and that’s what sets this apart! Characters are not crazy just for the purpose of being crazy, almost everything feels like it solidly builds up to everything else and the plot twists keep you invested the entire time.

There's a fine line between a work of good psychological intrigue and pure doggone hogwash. It's not easy developing such a complex structure while also mapping a perfect plan through which to deliver it to the reader, but this manga executed that amazingly. My only gripe with it is that it’s a little too long. I appreciate the elaborate detail, but when it comes to thrillers I prefer that they don’t indulge in certain story arcs for longer than they need to. This is something that I was disappointed about when I read "Death Note", I felt that after a certain point it didn’t need to go on for longer. Regarding this manga specifically though, I’m talking about the whole arc with Skall and Yashiro Sai that was towards the beginning. That’s just my opinion though, and at the end of the day this was a magnificent read. If you’re one of those people who care much more about the ending, don’t worry this manga pretty much handled it perfectly!

I highly recommend "My Dearest Self with Malice Aforethought" for anyone looking for a convoluted mystery with great delivery!

"My Dearest Self With Malice Aforethought," or as I've fondly dubbed it, "The Wild Ride Through Amnesia Lane With a Side of Mystery Meat," is like if your brain decided to throw a party, didn't invite you, and then left you to clean up the mess. And trust me, it's a mess you'll enjoy sorting through, piece by bewildering piece.This manga takes the concept of self-discovery to a whole new level. Imagine waking up one day with no memory of your recent past, only to find out you might be involved in some rather shady activities. It's the ultimate "It's not me, it's my amnesia" ... scenario, providing a fresh take on the age-old question of identity and the darkness that lurks within us all.Eiji, our protagonist, embarks on a journey not just to uncover the truth about his lost memories but to confront the very essence of who he is—or, more accurately, who he fears he might be. It's like peeling an onion, each layer revealing more questions than answers, and yes, there will be tears. Not from the poignant storyline alone, but from the sheer frustration of trying to piece together Eiji's scattered memories.What I thoroughly enjoyed about "My Dearest Self With Malice Aforethought" is its ability to blend dark humor with even darker mysteries. It's as if the manga whispers, "Life's a puzzle, and guess what? Half the pieces are missing, and the other half don't fit." The narrative weaves through twists and turns that would make a labyrinth look straightforward, all while maintaining a gripping pace that dares you to keep up.The character development is another high point. Watching Eiji grapple with the fragments of his past, confronting the potential monster within, is like watching a high-wire act where the safety net keeps disappearing. The supporting cast, with their own secrets and motivations, add layers of complexity and intrigue, making the mystery of Eiji's lost memories a shared burden that everyone seems to want a piece of.What sets this manga apart, however, is its exploration of morality and identity. It dares to ask, "Are we defined by our worst actions, or is there room for redemption?" It's a question that resonates on a personal level, making "My Dearest Self With Malice Aforethought" not just a story of mystery and amnesia but a reflective mirror on the nature of malice and forgiveness.In conclusion, "My Dearest Self With Malice Aforethought" is a brilliantly twisted journey through the maze of the human psyche, full of unexpected turns and dark revelations. It's a narrative that grips you, shakes you, and makes you question not just the protagonist's sanity, but your own. And let's be honest, who doesn't love a good existential crisis wrapped in a mystery?

Shinai naru Boke e Satsui wo Komete is gripping, thrilling and unputdownable.

The slow build-up of the first volume creates massive intrigue and from there on the series is a wild rollercoaster with shocking twists and turns every couple of chapters. What this manga does rather well is that rarely these twists are expected (in my case, at least). Whilst surprising, these twists are written so well that they end up making complete sense and being cohesive within the story, which I've found other mangas fail to do when trying to 'shock'. The way that many chapters end on a cliff-hanger makes the story incredibly addictive ... and the pace and fantastic narrative add to this.

I really like the characters in this story and they are all incredibly individual. The art is gorgeous but does not hesitate from being grotesque and frightening when the story demands it. I admire how the story tackles dark themes without being overly bleak and disturbing, a hard line to navigate.

I would highly recommend this for anyone who enjoys psychological thrillers and the 'amnesia' genre.

"What the fuck! Man, What the fuck!???"
That was me literally every few chapters. I am usually really good at predicting stories, but this one is something special...
If you like twists, turns, suspense, ... this one is for you

Story10/10
The story is really masterfully executed and written. I don't want to spoil anything because you will miss out on the mind blowing which is the main characteristic of this story

Art 9/10
Pretty good.

... Characters 8/10
The writer set up some pretty specific characters... They are definitely written interestingly, but I usually enjoy stories where you delve into people end get to know them better... The more this story goes on the more you know that you know nothing hahaha.

Enjoyment 9/10
I couldn't stop turning page after page, especially at the later chapters

Overall 9/10
I have to give it a 9/10 because there is a barely catchable line from outstanding to masterpiece. This manga, although exhilarating and masterfully written, doesn't make me connect to the characters that much, doesn't envoke heavy emotions, realizations or profound thoughts like some other masterpieces do. It's a story filled with twists and turns, full of suspense and beautifully drawn... but that's all I got from it

I really like psychotic thrillers about crazy people, yet this one is somewhat disappointing. Not because it is bad per se. The art is quite good, the writing is fine, the characters are layered, and the story itself is quite consistent, yet the whole manga felt like a homework. It follows the standard script step by step. As superman once said: "Not impressed".

Characters: How should I put this? They are complex, well fleshed out and their motivations are well founded, yet they still managed the be cliché. Not to mention, despite their complexity their actions still remained one-dimensional. So in the end I didn't find ... any of them particularly interesting.

The story: Again, the writing quality is pretty good, but because of the countless ex-machina and convinietly introduced new characters, it felt pretty subpar. Not to mention, the fact that the MC's split personality was shamlessly exploited to keep the mistery going. I find this a really lazy way to keep the reader guessing. In my opinion, in a good mistery story the answer is hanging in front of your nose, yet you don't notice. Here, however, everything that happened felt like a deliberate attempt to misdirect the reader from the blatantly obvious answer. Regardless, it was futile attempt, since you could easily guess most of the plot twists.

In the end I wouldn't call this one bad, because it is not. It is just unoriginal. If you are new to the genre give it a try, but if you are looking for something new and fresh "this is not the manga you are looking for".

Can’t stress it enough… If you’re intro suspense and psychological thrillers, this manga is a must read.
Art is absolutely incredible, and it keeps improving until the very end.
Characters are memorable, believable and are wonderfully written.
Now, for the story, I can’t say for sure I followed every tiny detail and I admit skim reading some parts (not because it was bad or boring, but to find out what happens next), but it’s impossible not to say this plot is extremely well thought out and interesting. Never have I seen so many twists and turns, all impressively cohesive.
Overall, this was a blast to get through. There ... are a few moments in the first half of the story that are a bit slow, and oh boy the plot gets complicated, but everything pays off in the end. I bet most readers had difficulties putting this manga down… It just sucks you in completely.

if you want a mystery with lots of twists, you're going to read the right manga. I was very moved by the ending and how it all developed. The story is very well done and has no loose ends. the art is simply magnificent! I got emotional with the ending and enjoyed every moment, there wasn't a bad part!
The protagonist is wonderful and VERY realistic, you really feel in his shoes. The antagonists are awesome too, if I can call them "antagonists".
I think it's hard for a suspense to hold so much. Several moments I had my jaw dropped and I read everything very quickly ... for that too.

When I first heard about DID (dissociative identity disorder) It was through a Youtube video (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A0kLjsY4JlU)

I got curious and thought up a story, MC has it. a serial killer is on the loose turns out is our mc's other personality. Generic perhaps.
Obvious maybe. Malice Aforethought on the other with the execution and pure amount of plot twists it had me on my knees begging for more. For whatever will come next. and I wasn't disappointed. All the way, and I mean "All the way" till the end of the story I wasn't dissatisfied.
Only when I finished it that I realised I was 5 ... hours into the night at 6am wondering how the fuck anything is gonna top this story.

The art is amazing, the facial expressions, the way they vocalise sound effects and the sense of danger it all captures every emotion you'll feel while watching an action movie or listening to an Opera about an abandoned cat in the rain.

I believe there is an FMC but not sure who. There's two girls who I won't name that have their own backstories. itself could be a whole other side story of 20-30 or so chapters.

The all story to me never missed anything. I expected things and it was met. and after that they kept increasing and it was never met with dissatisfaction.

Anyways, you've read enough of this review...So go and read the story Now!!!!

My Dearest Self with Malice Aforethought


This Manga/Comic is worthy of
being called what the fuck. This comic just fucked my mind and my mood. This dude just show up while I'm finding a new comic to read and after reading it, i can only say what the fuck did i just read. There are points i want to point out so that i can hopefully clear my mind by ordering or arranging this shit in my head.

The Art
The art is normal at first, you'll see
typical shits but not those kind of chibi and some not serious stuff. As you read it, the art became ... good and you don't care about the pathetic expression of the protagonist. The art perfectly synced in the story and you can feel the art giving awesome mood in certain events. When the situation is fucked up, the art became really good and fucked up the same time. It's really amazing how it affects the story and thanks for Shota Ito by drawing in this way or maybe that's just how he draw.

The Story
The story will really fuck you up. I
mean, you're fucking clueless to know what's gonna fucking happen. It's just full of twists and outsmarting. It will fucked up your mind and your mood. This dude will kill your mind, I'm just exaggerating but this thing is hyped from the start you just can't notice it because it's a typical or normal way of introducing the characters. It's really awesome and despearing, you'll feel different emotions or shits while reading this stuff.

The Characters
The characters are just normal at
first. Then while you progress through the story they will fuck you up. Especially the Protagonist, I don't like the protagonist at first but that man is awesome. Almost all the characters are awesome. It's really awesome, really really awesome.

Conclusion
This dude just fucked me up, ya
know. Everything seems perfect for me, it even exceed my favorite psychological anime. Really thanks for Hajime Inoryu and Shota Ito for this. It's fucking well explained, the story is good, the characters, everything is good. So to me this is 10/10.

My dearest self with malice aforethought stands out with its captivating storyline, much like any good crime narrative. To fully appreciate this work, it is best to know as little as possible in order to preserve the element of surprise.

The story follows Eiji Urashima, a young college student who seems to have nothing going for him. With no girlfriend, he hangs out with a group of unsuccessful friends and is hated by almost everyone due to his status as the son of a serial killer. One morning, he wakes up next to a woman and realizes he has lost the memory of the past three ... days. This sets off an investigation to uncover what happened during that period.

The manga's artistic style is stunning. The characters can be charming, elegant, and carefree, but in an instant, they can become terrifying, evoking visceral reactions. The artwork has the power to transform a character, giving them a morbid complexion and stripping away their charm. Each character has their own distinctive artistic style, whether it's carefree, mysterious, strong, or resentful. It is rare to find a manga with such distinctive character designs.

Sad as it may be, the manga, written by Hajime Inoryu and illustrated by Shota Ito, is most memorable for its visual style. Shota Ito's artistic work is truly remarkable, with meticulous and detailed drawings that captivate the eye. Every page is a visual delight, and the characters' expressions are rendered in a striking manner. The artist's distinctive style adds an additional dimension to the dark and terrifying atmosphere of the story.

However, the main issue with the work is that the story reaches its peak as early as the fourth volume. The intrigue and suspense that gripped the reader during the third volume's plot twist and the horror that unfolds in the fourth volume are never quite matched again. While all the characters receive development and have deep connections, these connections become increasingly forced, less organic, and contrived (although still enjoyable to read).

The rating of 8 given to the manga may be slightly high, but the third volume's plot twist and the fourth volume's storyline deserve praise for the chilling reactions they elicit. I never thought I would experience such terror from a simple drawing.

NO SPOILERS ( W Poggers Review) ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

To anyone copping out of this story, maybe deciding its not explaining where things came from, or how things happened, or why there are so many plot holes. Trust me, T r u s t Me. Every. Single. Plot Hole. Gets filled. Its fucking crazy. Do not listen to a SINGLE review if they haven't finished it, there's more mystery here than One Piece.

Absolute CINEMA. This story was like no other, I honestly haven't read such a powerful story since Pun Pun, the characters were funny, interesting, calculated, intriguing, cold, complex. Just such a beautiful mixture of genres, with ... the Most plot twists of any manga out there. Seriously, it was like 5 plot twists in 1 chapter.

The ending felt just right, as if we weren't getting what we wanted, but what we deserved.

Story: 10/10
Plot: 20/10
Art: 10/10
Gore: 8/10
Comedy: For the good most of it, 7.5/10
Mystery: Bro u Fr? 1000/10
Characters: 10^10/10
Ending: 10 out of mfn 10

Its such an exponential curve, it starts calm, slow, easy going, then it starts spiking, wow, this is cool, that was crazy, how bout that, and then BANGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG. Your whole fucking Concept of this manga is GONE. Incredible story telling.

It has a great plot full of twist, I still enjoyed reading it despite having my mind fucked.

The manga is different from other psychological genre. The story seems original, having an mc realizing he has a different personality the time when he skipped several days and waking up in the morning, knowing he has done some sort of things he doesn't remember that days passed including having a girlfriend who's popular in campus. At first several chapters it seems to be just a light atmosphere and cheerful one but by the next it's goes complete psychological and mystery. The art is one of the best, ... it suits the atmosphere very well.

By far this is one of the craziest one I've read.

*Light Spoilers*

My Dearest Self with Malice Aforethought is a remarkable crime thriller manga that leaves you on the edge of your seat at every turn. Fans of the psychological thriller genre will be hooked from the very first chapter, establishing an interesting premise in the protagonist Eiji's memory lapses. The plot is carefully paced and, at least initially, masterfully crafted. As the story progresses the pieces of this elaborate puzzle slowly slot into place, the red herrings swim away, the foreshadowing hints called back on, and the mystery revealed.

The characters are well crafted, and become more fleshed out as the plot expands. Each character ... hides their true selves and true connections to the mystery behind a layered façade. Each reveal is only another aspect of their masks, setting up for another reveal. This culminates in a cast of nuanced characters, each interconnected in the complex plot.

The art style of the manga is superb and the visuals quickly establish themselves as a cornerstone of its high ratings. Combined with the deliberate construction of the mise-en-scene, the graphics enthrall you with its striking attention to detail and dynamic expressions. Overall, a highlight of this manga.

*Spoilers*

However, its greatest strengths beget its greatest weaknesses. The puzzle's final image is, unfortunately, not as refined as it should have been, mostly by virtue of its first half. The enthralling foundation this manga is built upon paints its plot into a corner. Beginning from chapter 39, the legs this manga walks on begin to crumble. While mostly fine, there are a few instances where elements of the mystery are blatantly shoehorned in to explain the desired ending. However, the subtle cracks are ignorable and do not detract from the overall enjoyment of the story.
In addition, the depiction of this character as a sufferer of dissociative identity disorder (DID) is a far cry from reality. Readers should suspend disbelief and avoid employing a critical eye, as this is merely a work of fiction. The knowledge on DID is very limited even in the modern age and this manga's depiction of it should not be taken as fact in any way. Regardless, it is the main driving force of the plot development and should be treated with leniency.