BritishBlitz87 said:Hayato was right. Getting the job done without regard for others is not how society works. Yes, the immediate task is resolved. The threat to the group as a whole is squashed. But if Hayato hadn't stopped him, Sagami's self-worth would have been screwed up, possibly for years and that will affect her trust, her academic performance. Messing something up of this magnitude and being humiliated on stage is not something you can just brush off, and it sure as hell won't make you a better person.
Sagami will have learned nothing from Hachiman's speech. Not because it's wrong; but because everything he said was 100% true and she knows it. Hence why she's sat in the toilet stewing at the end of episode 11. She knows exactly what she's done wrong, she knows that it's her own lazy personality that's at fault and it's eating up at her inside... She's fucked up, she knows she could have done better but she doesn't know if she even has it in her. If maybe all her friends were just being "nice" to her when they said she could do it. If she really is destined to spend her life dumping her work on others and messing up the rest. That the thing stopping Sagami from becoming like Yukinoshita is not putting in a bit of effort or learning some tips, it's herself.
She will never compare to Yukinoshita or even the rest of her classmates because of
who she is. Now that's special kind of pain that links back to Hikigaya's nice girls speech in a way. This might not necessarily even be true, but these thoughts are what were going through her head and once they settle in it's a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I know, because I've been there. I was in her position once. Failure when you can honestly say you gave your all is one thing. But when you know you could have done better, that you should have done better with the help and support of people around you. It's a truly horrible feeling and it's hard to get out of that pit of self-loathing.
You need something to get you out of the hole.
But raking someone over the coals like Hachiman did just kicks you straight back in there. The whole "You are useless, your attempts at growth are just vanity, your friends affection is as fake as your dedication to this job” will never succeed because by this line of thinking your flaws are inherent in your personality so why even bother trying. Hachiman's last swipe was particulalrly brutal and went too far imo. Hayato agreed. From what we know, Sagami's friends and the approval of the class mean everything to her, without them she is nothing. People who are nothing do not grow as people, they get depressed and stop bothering. Not to mention we have no reason to believe her friends didn't care about her. In the end she had two options: get defensive and make excuses to justify herself, or accept it and stay wallowing in self-pity, possibly emerging as a female Hachiman.
We didn't see enough of Hayato's softly softly method to really see if it works, but as long as he follows up the ego massage by extracting a commitment to do better, she will remember that kindness and do her damn best.
At the same time, Hayato's soft touch method only works if the person hasn't already given up on caring.
You can't make poeple change, you just have to convince them they can change for the better, She might not have been as talented as the Yukinoshita family but she could have given it a damn good go and the rest of the team would have noticed that, respected it, and been willing to take up the slack, Yukinon included.
Personally, I would have said “Honestly? Yes, you have been awful so far, you've dumped the work on all of us lot and spent more time farting around courting popularity than doing what needs to be done or even coming up with a bloody plan. We were there to advise you and maybe we should have done something about this earlier. But we were never asked for help! This is basic leadership we're talking about here. Now, at the end of the day we can't finish this shitshow without you. You can either let all our hard work and yours go to waste or you can get down those stairs, get up on that stage, put in the effort that I know you can put in and make sure your festival has the best ending in school history. Just do that for us, Chairman, and we'll forgive the rest, treat it as a lesson learned. We all make mistakes, but only fools make the same mistake twice. Now come on, I know you'll do great!
A middle ground is what's needed, and you should always criticise the work, not the person.
Modified by BritishBlitz87, 3 seconds ago