Copernicus no Kokyuu

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I've read this manga a number of times, "Copernicus no Kokyuu" is an incredible psychological drama yaoi. I really hate to refer to this as a yaoi because it hardly has any of the characteristics of your typical yaoi, the only large factor is the gay sex scenes.There are various rape scenes in this manga which I always like to mention in a review because for the readers that are looking for a typical BL, this is not for you.

This manga is incredibly sad revolving around a character who is torn, a trapeze artist turned clown due to a fatal accident of his partner. ... Through various scenes we see him have flashbacks, tormented by the past and he seems to be a husk of the person he was. Nakamura-san once again brings us through a depressing yet beautiful story of a young man who is so stuck in the past that he is hardly aware of how terrible his present situation is. There are moments of happiness in his life surrounding a juggler in the circus but we are brought back into a dark world when the ringleader uses his body and sells him to a man for sex. The up's and downs are non-stop and as a reader your heart is heavy for this poor soul, there is never a moment of uncertainty in this manga, Nakamura-sensei knows what she trying to accomplish amongst her audience. Again another story that will consume you page after page, in a dark, twisted, beautiful world she has created.

Copernicus no Kokyuu, by Asumiko Nakamura, isn't your typical manga. It's a descent into a world both captivating and unsettling, a haunting circus where the tightrope walk between beauty and despair is constantly crossed.

The story centers around "Bird's Nest," a trapeze artist whose fall from grace (quite literally) is etched in tragedy. We enter his world through a haze of grief and fractured memories, the ghost of his younger brother a constant, tormenting presence. Nakamura paints a vivid picture of his descent – the forced clowning, a hollow shell of his former self, and a simmering rage barely contained beneath the greasepaint.

But this isn't just ... a story of loss. There's a flicker of hope in the form of Michel, a fellow performer who becomes a lifeline in Bird's Nest's storm. Their bond is complex, a dance between solace and codependency, adding another layer to the emotional tapestry.

Nakamura's art deserves special mention. It's both ethereal and gritty, mirroring the story's conflicting tones. The circus itself becomes a character, its warped beauty reflecting the distorted lives trapped within its confines. The panels are often dreamlike, blurring the lines between reality and memory, leaving the reader to question what's truly happening.

i have never written a review on here before. the reason why i decided to write this is because of the lack of reviews and just how underrated this manga seems to be.
to get this out of the way, a word that would describe this manga would probably be disgusting. it has so many triggering topics and depictions of so many controversial and just wrong things, yet, i would lie if i said i didn't enjoy every bit of it.
while reading it, i felt so many and no emotions at all. i get very passionate about stuff i enjoy, this manga had me by the ... throat. i got very emersed into bird's nest's story and character. it was so confusing, but something about him and his characterization was so beautiful and pulled me in.
another character i loved was michael, and the dynamic between him and bird's nest. i really felt like it was two broken people coming together to fill each other's holes.
everything about this tragic story had me 100% focused. i remember passing out after reading it, simply because the author carried me through so many events and emotions that i felt empty and tired at the end. i tried reading again, i didn't get very far. i'll try again when i'll be in a better place mentally. i whole-heartedly recommend this to everyone who can endure some emotional rollercoasters.