Hanma Baki vs. Kengan Ashura

Man, when I saw that this is being made, I grew a third penis (the second one I got from watching Baki). Two of the biggest in the BIG MEN DOING MAN SHIT sphere coming together for a grand showdown?!? Sign my ass up right away!

However, the final result is....well.....kind of meh to be honest. This crossover has to go down as one of the biggest wasted opportunities in all of anime. Such an awesome turn of events that these two IPs that are so similar would be under the same umbrella, allowing this to exist. The final product however was thoroughly underwhelming.

In terms ... of quality, it was pretty good. The animation was really solid and the fights looked and sounded awesome. One thing about that though - the music. Or lack thereof rather. Why was this anime so quiet? Outside of fights and a few other scenes, there was zero music and barely any sound effects, giving the whole thing a weird feel.

The story was razor thin, but when the muscle to brain ratio is what it is, what did you expect. Nonetheless, the premise worked great, overlapping elements were used really well and seeing the two old farts organizing both tournaments turning out to be best friends was welcome and hilarious. The setup was all it needed to be and what was left was the action.

The problem arises that barely any of the potential was used. We got only three fights and since this was just an hour long for all three plus buildup and transitions, none of the fights got enough time to breathe and show what they got. A ton of potential crossover showdowns never happened and the ones we did were rushed. Just as it starts to get interesting, the fight ends, because time is running out. It really sucks to be honest.

Here is just a small list of fights that I personally wanted to see:
Orochi Doppo vs Kuroki Gensai (martial arts old farts)
Yujiro vs Agito (final boss dudes, also the fact that they share the same VA will make this very funny)
Oliva vs Muteba Gizenga (for legal reasons I am not allowed to make this joke)
Hanayama vs Lihito (the gripper boyfriends of the MCs)
Retsu vs Sekibayashi (the true MCs of both worlds)
Kureha vs Hanafusa (and zat is how I lost mein medical license)
Sikorski vs Gaolang (Kenjiro Tsuda finally gets the honour of meeting Kenjiro Tsuda)
Alai Jr vs Rei (clash of the simps, battle for the last crump of coochie)
Kozue vs Karla Kure (idk, I just want walking woman moment Kozue to eat shit from a girl that's actually worth it)

There, just a small taste of what was possible. For the record, the three matches they chose were awesome too, I really liked them, that's why I dislike how short they had to be.

There's also one other problem and that's that,in all cases the writers had to sweat a lot to make it seem possible for ANYBODY from the Kengan-verse to have even a lick of a chance against even mediocre fighters from the Baki-verse. Let's be real here, both sides have awesome martial arts, but while Kengan characters have muscles, Baki characters' muscles have muscles. The sheer unbridled bullshittery of Baki is on such an unfathomable level of absurdity compared to Kengan that it's not even close. Like, imagine Yujiro fighting Agito, both are massive and strong and can learn other people's moves on the fly. They fight and fight and fight, adapting, evolving, copying each other's moves, pulling everything they have out of their arsenal. And then at one point Yujiro will be like "you know what, you're boring, I'm sick of fighting you with just the moves I use on women", then he'll hyperextend his wiener to ten meters in length in less than a split second, piercing Agito's skull through the eye socket and dropping him dead. Then the Baki narrator will reveal that Yujiro spent seven years jelqing on top of Mt. Everest while facing north and breathing in deep and this is why he's able to do this. And you could too if you did the same!

Right, in conclusion, you might come out of this review thinking I actually hate this, but that's not true. It was still fun and enjoyable and the action we got was top notch. It's just an hour long, so if you enjoy the type of manly action that both of these series bring to the ring, then there really is no reason not to check it out. I'm just disappointed that we didn't do so much more with the insane potential that there is in such a massive crossover. I hope this one-off thing becomes just a proof of concept and that the creators go back and make a longer form series with more fights, more interpersonal crossovers and more time given to each showdown so that it has enough breathing room to indulge its full potential.

Very middle of the road, it's not bad but it's not good either. The runtime makes it so all the fights feel underdeveloped, and fan favorite characters are reduced to cameos. Overall it feels like this ONA is fan service with no substance. As Baki or Onma will make a move and the audience will be like "they are doing the thing". The animation is average, the fights don't stand out. And overall it just feels really rushed to fit the 1 hour run time. It has some fun moments for fans of Kengan Ashura and Baki, but is missing the hype and excitement.

As a fan of the "Baki" series, I had high hopes for "Hanma Baki vs. Kengan Ashura," but it was a letdown. The animation quality was inconsistent; some fights looked great, while others were rushed and choppy. Character development suffered too, as the depth and motivations of Baki and the Kengan fighters were barely explored, making it hard to care about the battles.

The pacing was off, with unnecessary dialogue dragging down the excitement. Instead of a cohesive narrative, we got random matchups that felt disconnected and forced. And did I already mention the horrible animation?

Overall, the film missed its potential as a crossover. Fans seeking ... a compelling story and engaging characters may want to skip this one.