Evangelion Movie 2: Ha

Evangelion 2.22 was a huge step up from 1.11 in the fact that now the Rebuilds have established they're doing their own thing moving forward. Altering or straight up changing the narrative. Characters don't follow their paths in the original series and even some new characters are present. With established expectations of following a somewhat similar story as the original, that is immediately out of the way as the opening scene is entirely original to this movie. The decisions characters make despite being different than the original, still feels as organic and progressive to the characters and plot as the original. Adding in some scenes ... to really further your immersion in the world, and genuinely make you care for the entire cast of characters, not being reliant on the original to do that for them. By the end of the movie, you care about everyone, not just Shinji. The movie also had me surprised with how much they showed, as I felt like the movie was going to end on 2-3 separate occasions. The drama is even better than its counterpart scenes in the original and I was blown away by the ending of this movie. Truly another heart wrenching watch in the lineup of Evangelion.

It's faster! It's prettier! It's sexier! It's (Not) Eva!

Ahem...

While Eva 1.0 was rather faithful to the NGE series, adding a bit here and there (but also taking out a whole butt-load of gold, GOLD I SAY), and giving the first arc a fresh coat of paint, Eva 2.0 acts as a bizzaro-world version of the second third of the show. But that's just the beginning. Let's dive into this thing.

Who's your favorite Eva character?

Is it Asuka? What did you like about her? Her plunge from confident love interest to jealous rival to fractured soul? Her eventual "redemption" cumulating in one of the greatest (and most ... heartbreaking) action scenes in animation history in End of Evangelion?

Or was it her boobs? Maybe her butt? IS IT HER FOURTEEN YEAR OLD BUTT?

Is it Ritsuko? Just kidding, it's obviously not Ritsuko. But did you like her? Did you enjoy discovering the truth behind her mysterious link to Rei and Gendo? Did her realizations concerning her love interest, her mother, and her place in NERV affect you on an emotional level? What about her unraveling friendship with Misato? Well, eh...she's in this...somewhere. You just have to look for her. You blinked? Oops! Sorry, she's gone.

Is it Misato? Misato's here, and yay! She's kinda sorta the Misato we know and love! Oh...you liked the slice of life moments she shared with Shinji? That awkward dynamic they had? Two lonely people who can't connect with one another trying their hardest and failing? Maybe her complicated romance with Ryouji? Yeesh, sorry. Check out Netflix for that stuff cause it's not here.

Wouldn't you prefer robots though? Lots and lots of robots? How about some 3D aliens? They blow things up! It's SOOO COOOOL! And guess what!? Remember Shinji? The little anime boy who couldn't? Now he can! He's just like every other anime mecha pilot! Sure, here and there you might get a glimpse of the old, whiny, sad-boy Shinji (yuck, amiright?), but don't worry! Now he's what you always wanted him to be! Get in the robot, Shinji! HAI!

That's STILL not enough for you? Not enough robots? Not enough (underaged) T&A?

HEREEEEEEEE'S MARI!

Have I...broken some sort of sarcasm meter yet? Here's the REAL review: Eva 2.0 pushes Evangelion even further toward mindless spectacle, a cynical toy commercial, a big boy anime for people who like anime, a fun summer movie for otakus. This is Disney Star Wars before Disney Star Wars. It punishes you, both for being a fan of the original series, and for not having seen the original series. It's meta; self-referential to the determent of the plot. It mistakes opaqueness for brevity, the cinematic equivalent of TLDR. It's Yoda doing flips, dwarves and elves living together, mass hysteria. It's Anno's revenge, and I hate it.

(Rei sure is cute in it though.)

It boggles my mind that anyone who watched the original Neon Genesis Evangelion + End of Evangelion could sit through this movie and enjoy it. My stomach was in knots by the end.

I can't believe the utter disaster that this movie is. I didn't mind the animation, sound, or fight scenes - NGE never does me wrong when it comes to those aspects of the story, I'm always sitting on the edge of my seat. However, I find myself coming away from this film in all other aspects bewildered and insulted.

The story... it reminds me of the sardonic depiction of an alternate anime universe Shinji ... sees in episode 26 of the original anime. So much of it is bogged down by cheerful slice of life content and nonsensical love triangles (which don't even make sense unless the characters are severely warped, which they are, but I'll get to that in a bit), when that space could be better put to use exploring the characters individually the way they're supposed to be. NGE is not a cheerful story - you're not supposed to enjoy it, you're supposed to be fascinated by it, disgusted by it, and entirely enthralled by it. Why am I smiling along as these characters go on field trips and cook for each other? This fits so many franchises and series and characters, but NGE is not one of them. I seriously can't wrap my head around the choices made for this movie.

However, more than anything that happened in the story, the most disappointing and again insulting part of this movie is the watered down, weak, pathetic characterizations of Shinji, Asuka, Rei, Misato, Gendoh, and pretty much everyone else. A lot of people seemed happy that Shinji was "finally showing some backbone," but this only seems to demonstrate to me that some watchers of NGE have a fundamental misunderstanding of Shinji as a character (and Asuka, and Rei!)

Ikari Shinji is, fundamentally, pathetic. He is weak, cowardly, and all but wretched. He's a raging misogynist who views other people, especially women, as essentially things that are obligated, required, to heal and save and protect him with their love. He has no understanding of what love is, and no capability of giving it to others, and yet demands it from everyone around him to the utmost. And then, because of his ridiculously low self-esteem and ridiculously high self-hatred, even when he does receive love he doesn't believe in it and dismisses it (barring the love he receives from Kaworu) as a lie! He can't handle anything even marginally difficult and breaks down at the slam of a door. He's so incapable of both being a functioning human being with flaws and accepting the flaws/individuality of others that it takes the world literally ENDING before he's able to realize that maybe the world as it is is actually better than joining one super-conscious. And all of that is what makes him such a brilliant main character - all of his flaws and insecurities have strong ties to the death of his mother and the fact that his father abandoned him. Everything makes perfect sense. You're not supposed to like him or condone his actions, you're supposed to make the connections as to why he is the way he is and recognize the impossibility of all that he desires. He doesn't COOK for his friends, nor is he rushing to heroically Save The Girl at every opportunity. The Shinji of 2.0 is literally Just Some Guy - he has daddy issues, but it's something he just feels a little angry about, not a hugely detrimental crutch that's ruined the way he interacts with the world presumably forever. I can't BELIEVE anyone watched the original NGE and thought Shinji should be dumbed down to the most basic, boring main character stereotype ever. The fact that he's a hateful embarrassment of a character in the original anime is literally the point - whoever the jerk in 2.0 is is simply not Ikari Shinji.

Side note: I think it's ridiculous that in the original anime Shinji's mental breakdown is catapulted forwards by merely injuring Suzuhara, without even knowing that he's inside the Eva/Angel being fought, but when 2.0 Shinji knows he's fighting Asuka and pretty much makes her comatose he just... gets mad at his Dad? He's so infuriatingly calm about things that should make him lose his mind - again, this is not the right Ikari Shinji.

And then, to have the audacity to claim that Asuka or Rei could ever be in love with Shinji! It's outrageous! Asuka of the original NGE despises Shinji, full stop; she's not a tsundere, she sees all the flaws I've mentioned above and is disgusted by him because of that. At best, she uses him to quench her discomfort in situations such as when Misato and Kaji stay out late one night. She's straight up abusive to him sometimes. She is just as damaged as Shinji is and even shares some characteristics with him because of that, which repels her from him even further because his codependency upon whoever is available is, according to her and her unnecessary desire for total independence, an insult. She does not and never could love him, ever. The fact that he doesn't even have to do anything for her to get some stereotypical crush on him absolutely raises my hackles - Asuka deserves a thousand times better than this!

Rei, too, might care for Shinji in some capacity, but to make that the center of her growth is borderline grotesque. Rei wants individuality because she is literally Gendoh's doll from day one - why would she seek freedom for the sake of another man? She wants it for herself. She hates Gendoh, why should she care if he and his son are able to reconnect? It's totally ridiculous to have her original arc be so much about finding herself and knowing herself on her own terms, because she's never been allowed to have that, only to throw all of that completely under the bus for some ridiculous fanservice and a weak love plot (which, also, come on now - she shares traits with Shinji's mother nearly to a T, can we not have them be romantically interested in one another?).

I'm not here to harsh on the Rebuild series as a whole - I liked 1.0 okay and I'm still looking forward to 3.0 and 3.0+1.0. Nevertheless, it's really disheartening to see this film made by the original creators of the first NGE series and movies. I don't know why this is what they want an updated version of NGE to look like - this film is, at best, a weak, fanservice-packed action anime movie for people who want to numb their brain for a couple hours. It does not carry any of the weight, charm, nor impact of the original series. If you really want to watch this Rebuild series, I would recommend skipping this movie from it entirely.