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May 23, 2012
For the record, I would have given this OVA a 5 if it weren't for the ending. Don't worry, we'll get to the ending in awhile. Not mentioning the ending when talking about Patonic Hearts is like trying to ignore a naked old man in a parking lot that is dancing to a boom-box that is playing "Sexy And I know it" full blast. Once you've seen it, you're inevitably going to tell people you know about it. Now I'm not going to spoil the ending, but I will talk about how it affected my score of this OVA. Now then, onto the actual
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review for the OVA.
Story: 3/10
This Girl called Aya has to participate in a tournament to win the Patonic Heart (AKA, Martial Heart), which has the power to grant any wish, as long as you're a girl. She is fighting to save Miko, a girl in a priestess get-up that she met one day earlier. I don't think I would try to save someone by entering a fighting tournament. Personally I'd call the cops and let them handle things, but I'm just a guy who spends his spare time watching anime, reading manga, and reviewing said anime/manga, so what do I know? Aya has to fight and defeat 5 girls with her epic martial arts skills. So yeah, this has been done before in shows like Sekirei and Ikkutusen. Well, besides the ending anyway. Like I said earlier, we'll get to it later.
Characters: 2/10
Most of the characters are ecchi stereotypes that get no real development, apart from the main lead Aya, who does get some amount of development through the course of this OVA. That doesn't mean she stands out as a great character. None of these characters are really all that memorable. To be fair though, this is a 5 episode OVA series, so they would have to work a lot harder to develop their characters properly. That being said, I think they could have done it a little bit better. Since they aren't that well developed, it's hard to develop any sort of sympathy for the characters, and this really comes to light during the climax of the final episode. Most of the villains are just stock that appear for one episode for Aya to defeat in the tournament. I can't even talk about all the villains because that would spoil the ending too. I know, I'm bringing up the ending a lot, but it has such a huge impact that I can't help but continually mention it.
Art: 4/10
It's alright I suppose, but for an ecchi show that throws most of its money at making the characters look as good as possible, it's lackluster at best. The animation is average, the fight scenes are slow and clunky, and the artwork has this shiny, cheerful look about it that isn't all that appealing. Oh, and this is one of those shows where clothes are made from paper and can break apart with one punch. You know what's funny? In Claymore, most of the main characters and girls with swords that go around fighting monsters (and occasionally each-other), and yet somehow their clothes get less messed up then in Patonic Hearts, where one punch can cause your clothes to just get torn to pieces. This is common in a lot of ecchi anime though. I've gotten used to it, but I wish that the clothes would at least come off from some sort of special attack, not a simple punch or kick.
Sound: 5/10
The voice acting for the Japanese dub is just average for me. The English voice actors put a lot of effort into it though, more then this turd deserves. The music is mediocre at best, and that opening is very, very annoying.
Enjoyment: 2/10
So this was a standard ecchi anime for me at first. Like I mentioned before, I've seen this kind of thing before, although it was not as good as the others. Still, it was a harmless, predictable show. And then the ending happened and.... well.... how do I put this? Okay, you know what Fairy Tail is about right? It's about this girl who joins a magic guild and they have a bunch of adventures and beat the bad guys with the power of friendship and whatnot. The main bad guys at this point is a bunch of "dark guilds" that are no longer a part of the normal guild system that Fairy Tail was a part of. Now imagine if at the very end of the series, Fairy Tail defeated the final dark guild, it was revealed that the dark guilds were actually good and were trying to destroy the normal guilds because the normal guilds wanted to enslave the Earth. Fairy Tail would then show its real colors and take over the world, and then they do horrible, unspeakable things to the main heroin who joined the guild at the beginning of the series. The climax of the final episode of Platonic Hearts is like that. The ending is a dark twist that comes the hell out of nowhere. And contrary to what some people believe, a dark twist doesn't automatically make an anime better. These kind of things are definitely more memorable then the typical happy ending that you see so often, but a twist like that has to make sense in context. The way this one is presented seems needlessly cruel to me, especially considering the tone of the anime until that final episode.
Overall: 3/10
A standard Echhi tournament OVA with a rather needlessly-cruel twist ending. I recommend staying away from this one.
Reviewer’s Rating: 3
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May 19, 2012
I wrote a review on this horrendous anime approximately two years ago. However I wasn't satisfied with the review so I've decided to go back and review it all over again, since there are a few things I felt like I could have done better in my original review.
First of all, I should probably explain where this OVA came from and why it came into an existence in the first place. A lot of people who have watched it are convinced that it was written by a ten year old with rich connections. That is not how this came about, although I understand why people
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would make that comparison. This was made by Idea Factory, which is primarily a company that develops and publishes video games, such as Sakura Wars: So long, my love, which I hear is halfway decent. That was one of their games that made it to the shores of the U.S., although Idea Factory has developed some games that have never made it outside of Japan. One of these games was a adventure/love simulation game for the PS2 called Mars of Destruction. It was developed in 2005, the same year that this OVA was created too. It should be noted that Tenkuu Danzato Skelter Heaven, another one episode OVA that was created in 2004, also had a video game released for the PS2 that is simply entitled "Skelter Heaven." I should also point out that the OVA Tenkuu Danzato Skelter Heaven is only slightly better then Mars of Destruction. The OVAs of these two games were created to promote the video games by the same name. So essentially, I guess you could say that Mars of Destruction is a 20 minute long commercial. Which is probably why they put absolutely no effort into it. Well, I've stalled long enough. Time to get into the actual review. It's going to be slightly unorthodox since I'm not going to mention the entire story all at once. But that's because I feel like I have to do that in order to properly explain why this OVA fails on every conceivable level. I want you all to truly understand why this is one of the worst animes of all time. Also, there are spoilers ahead. In case you actually want to watch this turd-fest on your own. Just thought I should let you all know.
Characters: They have absolutely no personality, and that's the nice way of putting it. The only character you learn even a little about is Takeru, and we only get to see one flashback of him. All we learn about the other characters are their names, if they're lucky enough to even get a name. In a good anime, you feel for the characters. You become attached to them because of character development that they gain through the experiences they go through. Now I know this is a 20 minute OVA, so they're obviously rushed for time. However, they don't even try to develop any of the characters. In this OVA I saw a girl get her head blown off in the first fight scene, and I felt nothing. I knew nothing about her, she was bland. In fact, that girl didn't have any lines, and she wasn't even on screen until about 3 seconds before her head was blown off. It's kind of like reading about someone's death in the newspaper. It's sad, but you don't cry over it because you didn't know the person who died. So you know what? I don't care what happens to any of them. They could die in the slowest, most painful way imaginable and I wouldn't care, since I can't get attached to any of them. I mean, poor nameless girl.
Animation: They really took the liberty of cutting costs as much as humanly possible. As I mentioned before, the fight scenes are very slow and badly animated and one character doesn't even appear in the shot until she's about to die. The rest of Mars of Destruction is like that. It's not the worst, but it's very bad.
Sound: The ONLY notable track is horribly misplaced and doesn't belong in here. In middle of the final battle of the OVA, comes the most inappropriate use of Beethoven's Piano Sonata #14. I've ever seen. In fact, this anime uses pieces from Chopin and Eric Satie too. They couldn't compose good music of their own, so they took the pieces of dead composers and placed them in the anime. And yes, this has been done before. Evangelion had a fight scene that used Beethoven's 9th. I don't get why they did that, but Evangelion had a really good soundtrack of it's own, so I forgive it for doing that, as strange as it is. Here there really is no excuse. Beethoven, Chopin, and Eric are definitely rolling in their graves over the misuse of their music right here.
Story: I know I took awhile getting to the actual story, but like I said earlier, there's a reason I ordered it like this. This futuristic sci-fi takes place in the far off year of..... 2010. Yeah, remember when we landed on Mars? And then a bunch of aliens came and tried to enslave the Earth? Yeah I don't remember it either. And speaking of Mars, that's how this starts; with a ship returning to Earth from a mission to Mars. Suddenly, the ship explodes for no reason. At first I thought it was because they were reentering the atmosphere of the Earth and their heat shield malefaction, cause things tend to burn up when they enter our atmosphere. But then I realized that the ship was still above our planet. Later on they say that the main villains of this story destroyed it, but I don't see how they did it. I don't see any lasers being shot at the ship. Do they have the power to make things spontaneously combust? Seriously, I'm at a loss for words already and we're only 5 minutes into this mess.
We then cut to a mere several months later to find the main group of protagonists fighting the villains of the OVA, an alien race from Mars known as the Agents. Not much is revealed about them until the very end, but we'll get to that in awhile. For now, lets talk about the very first fight scene. This has to be the most pathetic attempt at making a fight scene that I've ever seen in my entire life. For starters, both the ancients and the protagonists stand still for about 30 seconds. Then finally the ancients fire some pretty cheap looking lasers at the protagonists, and only one of them hits their mark (I'll talk about this more when I talk about the characters, because it brings up a point I need to address). The other girls get their asses handed to them pretty quickly as well, cause bullets seem to do crap against the ancients, until our main protagonist, Takeru Hinata, comes in wearing a strange suit with blue lines going throughout it. To make a long story short he ends up defeating the ancients, but gets horribly wounded in the process. This scene in the hospital is pretty forgettable; nothing real interesting goes on, and the dialogue is bland beyond belief.
So anyway after the hospital scene we get a scene that explains something about the ship. Actually, it doesn't really explain anything about the ship. The main group of protagonists, the AAST (Anti unidentified Ancients Special Team. Lamest name ever), has to transfer the remains of the ship that blew up for no reason to America. After that, we get a scene that attempts to explain why the AAST was founded, but it doesn't make the characters any more interesting, so this scene is entirely pointless. We then cut to the AAST transferring the remains of the spaceship that blew up. They get ambushed by more Ancients, and the climatic final battle is fought (and I use the term "climatic" very lightly here). Where Takeru defeats the leader of the Ancients.
And just when you thought this anime couldn't possibly get any more stupid, we then cut to this scene where a scientist explains to a guy from NASA what has to be one of the dumbest things ever. It turns out that humans originated on Mars, and the humanity on Earth currently drove the aliens (who are the true humans apparently) out of Earth. In just one sentence, this one scientist completely bashes hundreds of years of research of studying human evolution. I don't even need to go into why this is dumb. Maybe if they played around with the idea a bit more and had gone into more detail and make a really good explanation, it may have worked. But nope, they pulled this completely out of their asses. There's one more scene after this, but it's irrelevant.
Enjoyment: I did not enjoy this at all. This was one of the most painful, mind-numbing experiences I've ever had. This insulted my intelligence at every turn and was a huge waste of time.
Overall: This anime is an enigma. I cannot believe how atrociously awful this is. It's so bad it rivals Garzey's Wing, one of the worse OVA series of all time. And Grazey's Wing had three 30 minute episodes, and this had only one episode and only lasted 20 minutes. I don't know how they managed it, but they managed to pack in an outrageous amount of stupid in that short amount of time. But then again, considering the conditions this thing was made under, I'm not surprised. It's my own fault for diving into this mess in the first place, but still, this anime sucks, and should never have been made.
Reviewer’s Rating: 1
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Sep 2, 2010
Dear lord, this is bad. We have reached the bottom of the probably the biggest pile of trash ever with this one. This is horrible, and I mean that in every way possible.
First of all I should point out that quite a bit of OVA's based off of T.V. shows tend to be a bit more perverted then the show they're based off of, and this is one of those cases. This OVA is pop full of adult humor. Just because it's adult humor doesn't mean it's bad. Take South Park for example, it's crude, vulgar, and sometimes disgusting. And yet it's hilarious. The
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adult humor in this OVA lack any humor whatsoever, so not only is it not funny, but it manages to come across as insulting as well.
What is the plot of this one you might ask? Well instead of the red night, they get stuck in the pink night. As I'm watching this, I keep on expecting Tomboy to show up singing "It's okay to Be Gay." If that actually happened, that would be hilarious. But this show isn't that clever unfortunately.
I won't go over all the faults here: Everything that is wrong with the original 11 Eyes anime is present here. And just to tease us, the music, which was the saving grace of the original series, is so lame here. Congratulations, you made a crappy series into a crap fest. That's quite an accomplishment if I say so myself.
Bottom line: Stay as far away from this OVA as humanly possible. Even if you were watching this for the fan-service this falls flat on it's ass. You will be scarred for life if you watch this, and plus, the amount of pinkness in this show will blind you.
Reviewer’s Rating: 1
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Sep 2, 2010
There is one question that people are constantly debating: Which is worse: movies based on video games, or video games based of movies? Judging by this show alone, I say that anime based off video games suck too. Yes, this was based of an Adult Visual Novel. But enough about that, lets dive right in to this failure and see why it... well.... failed.
The first problem itself is the actual plot. The red night, which I guess is a parallel dimension that comes and goes whenever the hell it feels like it (yeah it doesn't explain very well what it is. Get used to this.),
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traps a group of six teens inside of it and forces them to fight these black knights, and coincidentally, there happen to be six of them as well. This plot was interesting at first, but it is killed by it's own uncreative nature later on. Everything was so predictable; their plot twists were so bland it makes you wander if they were really trying. Like here's one of the genius plot devices they attempted to throw me on a loop with. We see our main protagonist Kakeru's sister die in the first episode, or at least that what they say what happened. I didn't know what was going on though, and if you see the way she supposedly "died", you'll be confused as hell too. Later on, a character that looks exactly like his sister joins the group, and Kakeru just sort of accepts it, and there's so many things wrong with that right there, but if I go over all the reasons you'll be reading this for about a day. Later on it turns out that she is his sister from yet another parallel dimension. Yeah, haven't seen that before. The lack of imagination here is truly a marvel of nature.
As for the characters, well lets just say that it's very predicable too. I've seen these types of characters so many times in anime. Well actually, there is a difference. These characters are so much more lamer to the point that they're the bare minimum of "characters." Main male protagonist with a tragic past trying to protect his childhood friend, Yuka, check. Childhood friend who is obviously in love with the protagonist and gets jealous if any other girl tries to approach him, check. But the biggest failure of all is probably Misuzu Kusakabe, who starts out as a strong, Independent woman who actually saves Kakeru and Yuka all the time during the first few episodes of the show. She starts out as an interesting character, but then later on, after losing a fight to one of the black knights (who turns out to be one of her ancestors. I know, just go with it), she gets insanely depressed and practically gives up fighting,all just to make the Kakeru pick up the torch and start looking awesome. And as for the other characters, well, they're either forgettable or annoying.
The only good thing about this series is the soundtrack, which is pretty awesome. Sadly though, most of them sound very insanely similar to each other, again, great creativity on their part.
The art is okay, nothing special really.
In conclusion, this anime is just a money making product. In fact, the production of this anime probably went something like this:
"Hey, why don't we make an anime based off a game, thus making quick money? We don't have to try to make it good or put actual effort into it, cause people who liked the game will buy this crap reguardless."
Do yourself a favor, and just don't watch it.
Reviewer’s Rating: 3
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