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WARNING: THE SUBS FOR THIS ANIME ARE HORRID!
I just finished watching a ONA which had 5-minute episodes, and I really liked the duration. So I searched for new series which had short episodes and ran into Vampire Holmes.
First of all, most of the reviews in this page are useless. You MUST watch ALL of the episodes to know the story of this... thing. Watching 4 or 5 episodes or even 10 is not enough. I do not consider that a good thing though.
There are a lot of joke reviews for this, but I'm deadly serious.

STORY: 5/10
I'll start by saying that this anime doesn't even ... follow the synopsis it has. Holmes NEVER searches for vampires, he is not a vampire either, he doesn't work with the Metropolitan Police of London or nothing like that. I really can't understand why did the studio give that synopsis if it's completely made up.
So the story is about Holmes, a lazy bum who yells at Hudson while sitting all day in a couch. Or the floor. Or whatever. He never does nothing, even though Hudson constantly brings him cases, he just gives up after 30 seconds. He even likes to tell REALLY bad jokes at any time imaginable. Also a weird talking cat called Kira appears all of a sudden in some random episode without a reason.
--SPOILERS--


But in reality, Holmes is an incredibly well disguised dark-mage, super intelligent man who can solve 4 cases at the same time. WTF. I seriously believed it all the way through the series. At least this is well done.
This is when I talk about when I say you must watch all the episodes. The watcher doesn't have even a hint of this until the 11th episode. Why? It's another mystery.

ART: 1/10
Wow, this is bad. I think it killed my eyes. Even I can do a better job. I understand that this is a supposedly an adaptation of a smartphone game, but that isn't even a poor excuse. It's so poorly drawn... I think it has the same 4 frames for each character. God, it's so bad I can't find words to describe it.

SOUND: 5/10
OP and ED are the same and is surprisingly good! I'ts playing in my head all the time, I don't know what happened. Apart from that, there is no music or anything, just the same weird sound effects for every episode.
And talking about the opening, I wonder why starting from the 7th episode the opening has some random sound effects in the back? What do they mean?

CHARACTER: 4/10
If you ask me who Hudson is, well... I don't have the slightest idea. Vampire Holmes just centers in Holmes even though (I consider) Hudson is the MC. I don't know exactly what Kira is either, but I don't think I want to know. Besides this, Holmes is has a decent story.

ENJOYMENT: 8/10
Something above from 5! This is advancing. I don't know why, but this is SO bad that I just had to watch it. Every time an episode came out I just felt the necessity to watch this. I don't know, I think I wanted to know if this was going to follow a story. But I really enjoyed it for some reason.
I think I've gone crazy. Please don't judge me.

OVERALL: 4/10
-You have to watch all of the episodes to know the story.
-The synopsis is a lie.
-The animation is SO BAD it hurts.
-I want to punch Hudson in the face.
-The OP is good and catchy.
-It has a pretty decent voice acting.
-It's so bad, it's funny.

Don't take this series too seriously. Millawls' review said in the enjoyment section "I'm just enjoying the glorious train wreck." and it's the same for me. If you have time to kill, watch it, it's 24 minutes long and decent, but just for the ending. I just hope new short-episode ONAs start the next season.

For some reason, I really enjoyed the first season of Sword Art Online, despite its numerous issues mostly shown throughout the second arc (which I almost hated). I found it really entertaining, and when the notice of the second season reached me, I expected it would be better than the first one...
That wasn't the case though.

STORY: 4/10
It is composed by three arcs: Gun Gale Online, Calibur, and Mother's Rosario.
In the first arc, a new game and characters are introduced, and since it's a mystery story, it's difficult not to get caught in it. The fact that someone can die in real life by playing a ... game accurately makes the connection between the two seasons. Even though, the two arcs (SAO and GGO) are pretty different; that softly starts to make the audience realize that this is a different season. I found this arc's plot the best one.
The second arc, Calibur is three episodes long, which gives the sensation of a filling arc. The plot here is very simple and to the point, it focuses on the comedy and the friendship between the same group of characters from season one. It's very light-hearted, but it made me laugh and I enjoyed it.
Mother's Rosario was the worst one to me. In this arc, the story leaves Kazuto aside, being Yuuki Asuna the protagonist. From this point on, she started to be one of the most annoying characters in the series. This arc has a really slower pace than the rest, and adding this to the poor story it has, it just makes it really dull and provoking. The idea of Mother's Rosario was to be an emotional, lovely and cute arc but in the end, the excess of drama and yuri-ish scenes ruined the already bad plot. The dramatic scenes in Mother's Rosario are just ridiculous, REALLY exaggerated and cliché'd (this kinda reminded me to The Fault in our Stars XD). This arc also presents new characters, and some backstory for Asuna.

ART AND SOUND: 7/10
They were pretty much the same as the prequel, good animations, bright colors and a cool soundtrack. OP's and ED's were good too.

CHARACTER: 8/10
This season focused much more in the character development since most of the cast was introduced in the first season. Even though there were some inconsistencies, this really came as a surprise.

ENJOYMENT: 4/10
When I started watching SAO II, I was amazed by the improvements in comparison with the anger the last arc of the first season left me. I really enjoyed watching the new season's first arc, but I got more and more disappointed with the flow of the plot because of the quality drop.

OVERALL: 5/10
Please make a good third season... ;_;