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"When you have a good product you don't have the need to advertise it"

I start with this old saying cause MGS based on title alone tries too hard to advertise itself as something way more hardcore than it really is. To put it into perspective this anime is more of a biblical scope disaster, like say, locusts and less of a Japanese epiphany, like say, the Walkman or for you youngsters the Playstation...Another great example would be cocaine..Have you seen lately any drug dealers on TV advertising their product? Course not cause people know what a good product is and seek it on their own ... and as a result we have junkies sucking dicks on alleys for 3 bucks..A good deal for all parties involved don't ya think?

So what is MGS all about then? It's about a young lad named Shinozaki Haruka who is very keen indeed in trying his hand on something else other than masturbation and self loathing.So one day he mans up and asks Kousaka Akiho, the most attractive girl in his class and long time fap material, out....For reasons only known to the Japanese people she actually didn't flat out reject his lame ass and from there on we embark on a journey of lust, sex jokes and awkwardness as Kousaka treats Haruka as a guinea pig to learn more about relationships..Though what kind of relationships she wants to learn about i'm not too sure but my guess is one with a dungeon, gag balls, leather and whips.

And if you thought this sounds great wait till you hear what else MGS has to offer, apart from your soul to the Japanese overlords......READY?...Lethal doses of FUCKING HAREM! Women, men, children, even the damn pets aren't safe from this testosterone filled sex maniac. Some say that in his previous life he was the one that impregnated Mary and gave us Jesus, the light and the path to righteousness..Back to this incarnation his harem consists of his childhood friend Ariyama Shizuku, his little sister(big surprise there eh?) Kanata and even his new male friend Hoshikawa Seiya who depsite his popularity with the laydiiiiiiiieeeessss, may have a big desire to bury his face into Haruka's honeypot..Despite my earlier claims no animals were actually harmed thankfully.

So does this anime have anything good going for it or is it a Russian hellhole?...Or as we call it here in the west a Putin?

Well for a one-trick-pony it sure goes knee deep on the idea of sexual innuendo and it sure doesn't lie about what it is. Every interaction in Shobitch is some form of sexual wordplay or misunderstanding like Kousaka starting a seemingly normal conversation with Haruka actually believing it's gonna be a normal one for once and Kousaka misinterpreting it as sexual leaving Haruka weeping in dark corner....And all this gets really old really really fast. And MGS tries to rectify that by adding new characters along the way as well as suggestve imagery like stores named "69 Mart" or beakers with a ball shaped base. Visual gags aside though this anime is as funny as Alec Baldwin shooting people on set.....That escalated quickly!

So as i was saying MGS is a one-trick-pony and the trick's name is shock humour. Sure at first you can't be prepared for the volume and for the first 2 eps(and i'm being generous here)it works to an extent but then the shock becomes tedious repetition and then boredom..And to rectify THIS problem they just give us a 3 minute screen time of the couple being sweet to each other..And that in itself presents a new big problem..Cause the supposed couple makes little to no sense as a couple but more as a comedic duo like in the movie "Dumb and Dumber" cause all we ever see is Haruka getting frustrated with Kousaka's sexual innuendos and complaining like a true soyboy about how much he wants a normal conversation with her. This is what their "relationship" is all about, we never get to see why either of these two would be interested in each other or what drew them together in the first place. The only reason we're given is that Haruka wanted to date a cute girl but he doesn't seem to enjoy spending time with her..And as for Kousaka i can't understand what it is that she sees in him! In fact he doesn't even seem interested in whatever she has to say, which leads me to believe that she is with him only because he's willing to put up with her weirdness.

As far as the comedic stuff goes i'm known to like crude jokes but with this one i hardly ever got a mild laugh out of it. In fact i'd say that there are only 3 moments of good laughs here and there and the rest end up being a sexual refference done by a 5 yr old boy who just learned what his willy is for and i'm sorry but this can't carry an entire series.

Needless to say but unless you like anime with basic animation, boring VA deliveries and characters less interesting than Hannah Gadsby then you're going to enjoy this one less than a prostate exam.

Most times i don't want to judge an anime from its' cover but 90% of the time my gut is right and when i came accross the title of this anime i should have known what i was going into. But i made the fatal mistake of reading reviews before i went into it, which i rarely do and almost always i end up disappointed not only by the anime itself but by the reviewers themselves and if we were talking amateur reviewers that would be fine(i'm used to easily impressed people by now) but to think that pro reviewers were singing praises like this ... was the reincarnation of Jesus Christ..You can read any review in here and not give a single fuck but big sites play by other rules altogether and from what i've seen so far the rules seem to be to favor certain genres and the rest of them get shit from top to bottom. I always hated that in the music magazines, when for example Iron Maiden released an album, no matter how bad it was, the reviewers would lick their asses until they were squeaky clean cause of course they would..Cause they're fucking Maiden and the name only strikes fear into hearts of men..This seems to be out of place but to link it back to this anime when a big studio such as Trigger releases any anime apart from a small percentage of "fans" the rest are having actual orgasms leaving a trail of fluids like snails do on the floor.

For better or worse my allegiance is to the medium itself not the studios that make them, even the best of them are bound to fuck up in any shape or form. Like this studio made Darling in the Franxx and Kill la Kill among others..Certainly not the best animes by any standards but nevertheless animes that are still talked about even to this day. As for this one i'm not really sure it's gonna be remembered even after 10 mins after you are done watching it. Hell i finished it this morning and by noon i had to resort to my notes to write this review.

WSBBC has a school club setting(cause all anime do these days) and most of it takes place there. The male lead, whose name i can't be bothered to remember, apparently has some case of 8th grade syndrome and thinks he has super powers and where have i seen that before?.....And seen before is the rest of the cast which consists of 4 girls, whose names can be found in the internet somewhere, and they are submitted to his antics on a daily basis until some shit goes down and one day they all gain powers beyond their wildest dreams....Apart from the harem king who only produces a black flame that can't even heat some tea..So basically everyone gets the good stuff and he got shit, which some people find very funny indeed...Certainly the writer did find it funny AF and his standards of funny can only impress those with IQ with "-" in front of it...And for 2/3 of this anime we just witness the daily lives of these kids as they go on to fight crime with their newfound powers.....Or do they?

And this is the start of my problems with this one..Cause their powers are rarely mentioned or shown in the span of the first 8 eps. A case can be made that it doesn't follow in the tracks of most shows of this genre and true that as it may be for me personally the time they spent showing absolutely nothing could be used in a more productive way..But no here what you get is 8 eps full of establshing the male lead's harem and what do you know....Of course among the high schoolers there is also an elementary kid who for some reason hangs out with them and also develops the hots for our main lead..And this being a harem the male lead doesn't seem to get that every girl around him gets all hot in their underpants about him..Fortunately most of the bad traits of harem animes are not a pert of this one so kudos?

But in these eps they get some development right Dion? Nope not even close..They all do get some flashbacks of their time with our MC as there are the necessary "girls arc eps" but that's as far as their development goes. They don't move even an inch of their established role as harem girls..No semblance of character advancement whatsoever, they just wait their turn for something to happen and fall in loive with the MC..So like any other harem then. As for the MC he is 80% harem lead and 20% likable..That 20% of him being somewhat serious, funny and most of all not a hairy pussy like most male leads really took me by surprise but mind you that's not saying much since it's like finding a 0.2 gram gold nugget in a lake of shit.
Another problem with this anime is that by episode 8 it takes a drastic turn altogether. It's like they were on a mushroom trip and when it ended they picked up from where they thought they left off. Basically they tried to explain this late into the anime how these powers came to be, something about a fairy war and also we got introduced to some other group with superpowers who are part of this war.....Who these people are or what role do they play is a mystery..Are they friends of the main cast or foes? Don't know and i don't think whoever wrote this crap cared enough for me to know either, cause most of the time they seem to act in a friendly manner and then they became the antagonists and then back again?!

If this explanation of mine seemed half assed trust me it's not my fault for not being eloquent enough to word it properly but the anime's fault for doing a speedy half assed job of explaining things..This is why i said that all these eps spent showing us harem shit could be better utilised to actually paint the strory in a much better way. From that point on there is a back and forth between the usual formula and serious plot points up to the last 2 eps where for some reason we change gears AGAIN and if the finale gave us some form of closure i would be totally fine with that but with no closure and no 2nd season in sight the ending was disappointing to say the least..Imagine going out with the girl of your dreams, going to a hotel only to find out that she pees standing up.....Nough said.

WSBBC falls into this category i have mentioned tons of times before where an anime wants to be many things at once but fails in all of them spectacularly. It wants to be a romcom SOL,it wants to be school club anime, it wants to be harem, it wants to be serious and comedic at the same time, it wants to have superpowers and secret wars and factions etc. I can't blame solely the studio for that though as an anime can be as good as its' source material and when the material at hand is a mess of mixed genres they did what they could...I mean when even the writer doesn't know where he wants his creation to go...

In its' defense it wasn't all bad. Sure it had its' good moments and i had some fun watching it and the animation was good enough to be watchable but ultimately it failed to take advantage of every good aspect to focus on inane things for most of the show and as such i can't reccomend this to anyone..If you do want to watch it go ahead and make your own assumptions but don't say i didn't warn ya.

Tanaka kun is Always Listless-and this may surprise you-is a comedy anime with a school setting as if there aren't a ton of garbage out there with the same premise. It's as if the industry that produced so many exciting and thought provocative animes is now a stagnant pool of shit and i blame YOU, the viewers, cause when an interesting anime appears if it hurts your feelings you take to twatter and cry internet tears of despair so we end up with crap like this one.

TIAL is about Tanaka, who is a lazy as fuck student who wants to do nothing but sleep. In ... his quest for total nothingness his loyal comrade Ohta is always there to carry him like those dogs Paris Hilton carries around, you know the ones that look like a dwarf devil with an attitude. Thankfully a petite blonde bitch comes into play and she wants to know all about his dark ways of tantric sex but she quickly finds out that what he does isn't a cult like ceremony into adulthood but he's just a lazy fuck sitting on his ass all day..And she liked that and wanted to be his apprentice triggering a downpoor of whores who wanted to be in his harem as well....LOL!

TIAL does little to go past its' premise and by premise i mean Tanaka doing nothing and being lazy. 12 episodes of a lazy fuck doing lazy shit and when he does his lazy shit he does them with such laziness that i swear my watch almost grinded to a halt. If it wasn't for the secondary characters this show would be dead and gone in mere minutes. Characters like Tanaka’s best friend Ohta, the petite Miyano who follows Tanaka and calls him her master, the all time classic athletic and self proclaimed deliquent Echizen and the perfect student Shiraishi among others...Speaking of others we also meet Rino, Tanaka’s sister....Now remember the harem part i mentioned earlier? Turns out that every female in this anime has feelings at some point for Tanaka...Even his fucking sister! BUT the show is too lazy to do anything even with that aspect and it's bored out of it's mind giving the girls any love so they end up being the same old stereotypes we can watch in every other shit anime these days.

I also mentioned that this is a comedy right? Well depends on how you define comedy to be honest. This has the light feather like comedy style which means the jokes go like this: Tanaka has a conversation with someone the someone is awaiting for his reply but Tanaka has dozed off and never responds..Imagine my shock thinking that Dave Chappelle was a genius comedian only to find out this little gem to enlighten me on the ways of comedy....There were even times where they had to explain to you that what you're seeing was a joke so they had some huge letters to give you the idea...Yeah it's that bad.

Visually it's well done with soft colours and quite decent artwork and i couldn't care less cause even with colourful animation you can't escape the fact that this belongs into the darkest recesses of the abyss..Don't bother looking into tha abyss though it's too lazy to look back at ya.

And that's all i had to say about this anime really. This anime is definitely not for everyone and certainly those past the age of 10. TIAL is sloooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooow even for a SOL and don't get me started on this annoying twat of a main character. I wish this anime would focus on everyone else instead and it would be better off than this simplistic approach and i've seen simplistic anime before but most of them at least made an effort to be something..This wants to be nothing and you should treat it as such.

It's been too long since i last saw Noir and for some reason my taint was itching to have a go at it for a 2nd time after 19 years and if i'm honest i shouldn't have made this fatal mistake cause what i watched with my innocent eyes and rose tinted galsses back then....Let's find out, shall we?

Noir, for starters, is part of a trilogy of animes themed as Girls with Dild.....Oh it's not that kind of deadly device...Girls with frying pans then? No not that either..Oh yes of course, silly me. It's Girls with Guns (and Roses)..And as was the case with band ... this anime is also overrated. Sure the members look cool and smoke and have flashbacks from drug use and managed to get a hit or two here and there but the deeper workings are quite a different story...And if that story was interesting or even deep i think i could manage but a big fat "fuck you" was in the air.

Deep in the dark pits of the kingdom of Hades 2 girls and a cup...Oh i can go on all day with that shit and it will be more interesting that what's about to follow. So for real now ok? The story starts with Mireille Bouquet who is a killer cook in Paris.

-What does she cook then, Dion?

-Her special dish is cheese with wine and surrendering to the enemy like any Frenchman would do! That and pasta garnished with bored blood of her enemies.

But her peaceful days in Paris watching lame French movies and hanging garlic on the walls were about to end.....As a Japanese girl named Kirika Yumura appeared from the TV set wanting her memories back..Nah just fucking with ya..She sent a Tinder request..Ok ok don't hit me in the head mate i'm gonna be more retarted than usual...She sent a weirdly worded email and for the life of me i can't fathom how and why after reading that email she decided to meet with Kirika but she did and the music cued and they danced to the end of love with some other assasins who tried to kill them?! and that's how this holy alliance was born..With pain, blood, sweat and bullets.

Sounds interesting doesn't it? I mean girls, guns, Paris...What could go wrong?

Let me start with the opening song cause that's what hits you first in every episode after all. It's a bizzare one this..It's like whoever wrote it was described how "Arthur's Farewell" sounded through the phone and the end result was some techno beat mixed with Japanese pop mixed with French fries and espresso. And if you sit there and think that this unholy mix shouldn't be here...You're dead right, i too was waiting to hear some epic sort of orchestral track or at the least something that would insinuate adventure and murders not fluffy dogs and candles in the shower. But in all honesty this song fits the series like a glove, in the sense that expectations from reading the story or from the 1st episode quickly turned into a boring trash can fire instead of a full blown collapse of the civilization as we know it....And that's not all as the song ends IN EVERY FUCKING EPISODE we get a little narration about some occult stuff (Imagine the opening narration from Iron Maiden's Number of the Beast track but way more boring and with way less emotion in delivery).

But we'll get to the songwriting later on, but for now let's move on to the actual series and what you should expect after a very enthralling 1st episode.

And what you should expect is massive amounts of yawn and saliva hanging from your dirty cheeks. Every single episode is the same formula of 2 girls meeting bad guys, boring action scenes happen, everyone dies a miserable death except for our main duo rinse and repeat and there you have the first 10 or so eps of this anime. GOT THAT? 10 eps full of mostly watered down Hollywood action scenes and when i say watered down i mean right down to the last detail. I mean people get shot so logic dictates that some blood should poor from the dead asshole's....Holes...Don't hold your breath waiting for that to happen as this series with assasins and whatnot is as soft as toilet paper with bears on it. Good for your dirty ass cheeks not for your entertainment.

And this was standard practice for Bee Train studio at the time. Nice looking anime with superbly sounding stories full of glamour and style let down by horrible execution. The characters themselves are as dry as the vagina of a whore who's as coke'd up and drunk as Charlie Sheen. Sure some lube will do the work but the fact remains that after 5 mins your dick will look like you dipped it in a woodchipper and it was ugly to begin with. And if that wasn't bad enough they made the monumental decision to take it slow with the story. So slow in fact that it reminded me of the time i drove a Zastava and if you don't know how slow or dangerous that car was google it and experience the horror. And some may make the point that in these first 10 or so eps the main duo formed a bond or some shit...Even Romeo and Julieta's bond didn't take that long to develop and that was back in the dark ages for fuck's sake..Are you honestly gonna sit there and tell me that in the span of 10 filler eps they couldn't cram anything else or even tell the story in a tighter way in half the amount of eps?

Enough of that let's talk animation VA music etc. Animation for the most part was solid with good use of dramatic lighting and shadows. The constant change of enviroments made for some very nicely animated backgrounds, cities, mountains and whathaveyou. The characters themselves were pretty standard -if not low par- apart from moments where things got a bid dark and the faces looked like i drew them but there were definitely some corners cut. 3 words for ya,Panning, stills and flashbacks galore. Flashbacks alone made for 10% of each episode and if that doesn't scream repettitive and saving a penny or 2 i don't know what does. Flashbacks do play a role here, mind you, but not when you use it 40 times more than you should.

Which leads me to the fight scenes...And oh boy do they look and sound rubbish..Every fight has the same epic song throughout the series and after the first 3 times it becomes so tiresome that at some point i found myself muting the scenes and playing Spice Girls in the background which instantly made it 70 times better..Also the series draws inspiration from the worst Hollywood films and drags the hell out of the fight scenes. Imagine every scene where the bad guy aims at the protagonist shouting that he will kill him..KILL THE FUCKER what are you waiting for? And what the hell is this with all the "dramatic" looooooooooooooong pauses? How many dramatic pauses are enough before you actually come out and say that this shit is ridiculous..But the worst Hollywood sin of all..Bullets flying but not one seems to find shelter anywhere near the protagonists and that was made worse by the fact that the blond hot chick who is an assasin of the highest caliber....Pretty much stands around getting shot at, getting surprised she is shot at and pretty much being useless and Kiriko the ugly midget does all the hard killing. If you weren't told she was a pro you'd think she was there by accident!

The second half at least was a tad better but that's like saying bleeding from the abdomen is better than bleeding from the neck. It was also faster than a Zastava but not by much and there are some big reveals about the girls' past and a secret organization called "the Soldats" who are like an ancient mafia like thingy..But even with these revelations the story itself combined with these bland characters did no good at all for the greater picture. And if speedy was what i thought about the 2nd half you should watch the end and be amazed at how this 26 FUCKING EPISODES MARATHON managed the 4 last eps were shit was hitting the fan. Honestly the ending was so rushed it was like watching Nascar on meth and i have to wonder why? Why the fuck have 10 filler eps going on about absolutely nothing and when it mattered the most fuck it up on a galactic scale?

All in all this anime that impressed my young dumb self 19 yrs ago, now bored the fuck out of me. I can't stand here in good faith and tell you that for nostalgia's sake this anime was great cause it wasn't in the least. Animation on a strict budget, music that while was nice-ish was overused to the point of mental breakdown, story that could be but never was, boring and almost non existent dialogues between the characters and characters bland and paper thin..So no sorry, i'm not gonna suggest in the least that it was something better than broderline mediocre.

Wanna watch it? Go ahead and do just don't say i didn't warn ya.

My sister, My writer, My life that slowly faded away and like dust in the wind was scattered all over the mountains of despair where my loved ones mourned my passing, while my coffin was, slowly but steadily, going down to my final resting place, where maggots would feast on my dead flesh and demons would rape my soul in hell for eternity....Death was only the beginning....

And death would be a nice change of pace in this instance, where i find my self reviewing and at the same time warning people not to fall for this trap..If i make no sense or my grammar has ... gone to shit FUCK YOU i'm trying to turn my liver into ash and in the process forget i ever saw this shit. In fact i'd rather be bound and gagged and then raped by Cthulu hmself.

So...This anime is about incest...Well Japan duh.....But this anime has nothing else to offer other than insinuation of incest and some sort of humour which would be acceptable at a brain dead conference...There's also some fanservice, although with the quality of animation i'd kindly call it "piss cancer and tar and scream in agony as your penis rots from inside out".

Story?Well read the damn synopsis so i don't have to spend more valuable time away from the liquid death called gin and tonic.

VA, soundtracks etc...You're better off hearing yourself screaming in pain while a serial killer thrusts his trusty knife and twisting it around.

Characters? There are some yes...Would i like a blood transfusion to avoid blood cancer? Sure, yes please...And while you're at it, make me a nice lobotomy senpai.

Animation?...........!..!?...I now find watchable puppies being stomped on by nazi soldiers.

I got nothing else lads...Just do something else..Cut your femoral artery instead of watching this.

Welcome everyone to this week's episode of National Animegraphic in which we bear witness to the discovery of a new species of anime. Living deep in the jungles of Otakuzil, this anime is one of the deadliest, thanks to its' poison that can kill a normal sized human in mere seconds. It's so deadly it can kill itself if it bites its' tail.

Glasslip, which was named after the man who discovered it, John McAsshole Glasslip, found its' way to the west and into my fucking room and as i'm writing these words i'm already dead so don't bother calling the paramedics..If you want to chat ... just buy a ouija board!

Let's find out more about this being that killed me dead within 13 eps then..It's the story of 5 kids and from what i gathered each one of them wants to bang the other or another or the same another.. All you need to know is that one of them wears glasses and is bisexual, one wants to bang the bisexual but the bisexual wants to play scissors with a gal who is the holy grail and everyone wants to bang her and one of them who wants to bang her has a step sister who wants to bang him but a 6th person joins the gangbang and the holy grail wants to bang him.....I think there are chickens involved somehow which is sick and inhumane.

If you're sitting there scratching your heads it's not my fault, this anime is just that stupid in how it unfolds its' "story"...And story this anime it has not grasshopper. What it has is multiple personalities and none of them is interesting. I think i have seen more interesting land mine injuries in my lifetime...But if i had to take a stab at it i would say that it wanted to be a unique take on how people go through adulthood?! which to me is buffling cause if that's what they wanted to do then...They really fucked it up in ways more interesting than the anime itself.

So let's see properly everything. The story is about the lives of 5 kids like i said: Touko, Yukinari, Hiro, Sachi, and Yanagi. They all are childhood friends and they all live in a port town. One day there was a fireworks festival and a somewhat enigmatic fella by the name of Kakeru makes his appearance and shit hits the fan for everyone. From this point on and for the reasons i stated in the beginning the 6 characters split off into 3 separate groups of two because reasons..... So basically you're thrown in a pool of shit and you're trying to learn to swim right from the get go..And i can't understand the reasoning behind this way of storytelling cause all it seems to do is go from group to group faster than a bullet train and by the end of ride you're nowhere near where you needed to be and since this is more or less a character driven story...It has no character development.

How is this for an introduction to the characters? We learn their names as they're being flashed on the screen.. The transfer student, Kakeru,doesn't even join the group he is there ONLY for Tokou and that's because........Oh my dog, how do i say this?....They have the same supernatural power...To be able to see "shards" of the future reflected in anything shiny or bright....So that's what we're going with in the Slice of Life anime then huh? Superpowers and girls falling for psychpaths who seeeeeeee things.... But worry not cause problems this anime has in spades cause this supposed group of friends feels like a group of total strangers being paid by someone to play friends for an hour or 2. The dialogue between them is stiff, their chemistry is off and the romance feels forced.

Speaking of forced...You guessed it baby! It's the damn melodrama burger here to poison the bodies and minds of the unsuspected. We as viewers are expected to somehow connect to this rather large and unlikable cast and not only that but care about the plights they face..And how in the hell am i supposed to do that when the writers themselves didn't care enough to even give them a proper characterization in the first fucking place? Hell they even threw under the bus most of the cast to focs on just the Kakeru and Tokou..Why should i care if you don't?

One second you are here for the melodrama ride next you're on the train to future shards land with no explanation whatsoever as to what these shards even are or how the hell they're triggered and even if they wanted to incorporate them into the story somehow to lead the story in a big event...They failed in that too. The only thing they didn't fail was doing a lot of stuff at once, yet somehow did a whole lot of nothing and as the cast is split so is the focus of each event in each episode and it all fails to have some impact.

At least the visuals were exceptional as far as the town is concerned. It really is a thing of marvel to watch this little town come to life and the characters can be distinquished from one another. The designs of the character themselves could be way better cause their bodies looked like they had sticks for feet.

Apart from the visuals then and maybe some songs here and there this anime has nothing to offer. 13 eps run and all it manages to do is treat the viewer as a total idiot for watching cause there is no story and all this fuckery going on with the shards goes nowhere too as it's all in their heads so the whole premise of the anime was thrown outta the window in the end making it all meaningless. Couple that with botched cliches and conflicts that fall apart on their own and you have the recipe for total nothingness. Visuals shouldn't be the A and the Ω.

It all comes back to the melodrama aspect and how it's woven in the story and how in turn the story itself drives the characters from point A to point B not the characters themselves..Let me give you some examples of what i mean.

Touka's and David as he goes by(Kakeru) have the power to see the future. Why do they have these powers in the first place? Because we're told so. Why are the decisions of the characters so stupid? You're told so..Or how does this group dynamic works and how come they have feelings for one another when the on screen result says otherwise? You guessed it, because you're told so.
In the end Glasslip failed to make the characters what they should be..CHARACTERS..How am i supposed to see them as nothing more than puppets whose only purpose in life is seek out drama at all costs? Hell i wouldn't care if they all dropped dead in a school shooting or whatever. In fact it would be a better and fitting ending to this bunch.Honestly i spent more time than this anime deserves and if you're not a masochist then steer clear from this abomination.

I've said it time and time again but Netflix does nothing but fuck up each and every anime it gets its' filthy hands on.

Devilman-for those who don't know or don't care to check-was a stunning looking manga from the 70's and again for those of you who are too young and innocent....It was a time that changed the whole world..Woodstock, sexual revolution, drugs everywhere..My dog what a time to be alive.

It was also the time when the original Devilman came to life and if you have a modicum of logic you will leave whatever the fuck you're doing and read the manga and/or watch the ... series. And why do that when there's a new kid in town? Cause the new kid is a cuck who drinks gluten free soy latte and thinks Lady Gaga is music, whereas the old kid smokes weed, drinks Jack Daniel's and punches puppies in the fez for fun while listerning to Motorhead.

In each and every aspect the old timer beats the peace loving/sandal wearing little fuck and i say this with as much confidence as i can muster cause i've read most of the manga and saw every iteration of the anime adaptations...And gals, guys and whatever the fuck you identify as.....This latest offering is a mess BUT i can see the appeal it has on the newest brown rice generations..Throw some trippy animation and some "shock value" and you end up with a safe-ish space anime for losersgettrophies kids..Cause what passes for edgy and shocking these days is watching ducks eating probably.

So if i were you(thank dog i'm not LOL)i'd check out the original series before even thinking about watching this..For starters the OG had some great fucking animation for its' time but more of that later on cause i review this new garbage fire.

Anyways, the story follows the MC named Akira who everyone calls a crybaby because he tends to burst into tears whenever something remotely sad happens, just like every millenial.. His parents are working abroad so he stays with the family of his childhood friend, Miki. Then some day, an old friend of Akira decides to pay a visit, Ryo, who shows up and with machine guns saves Akira from some rappers. He procceeds to tell Akira that demons are real and takes him to a party of some sorts. Things go haywire when Ryo decides to take a stab at partying...Literally.. Which was stupid cause all sort of demons started to appear, possessing people and making mincemeat of others. One especially tricky demon, Amon, possesses Akira but fails to gain full control over him. So a devil in someone who has heart and soul combined to make Shitman..A demon to rule them all..Ryo, though, has some secret plans involving Akira and the demons.

What plans, you say? Well buckle up cause i hear a storm of stupidity approaching fast!

I said that Akira was possesed by a demon but what i didn't say was the reason as to why HE was chosen and not someone else..In the OG it was clear as fucking day that Akira was chosen by Ryo because he was compassionate, because only a human with a pure heart won't be overtaken by the demons..He would still be possesed but not to the full extent and that was shown in a scene where Akira saves an animal from some thugs, which shows that he cares about all things living, defending those who cannot defend themselves. Thus he was the best choice for the job at hand..Compare that to the new one where it was basically Ryo telling Akira "hey mian i, like, want you to be possesed by a demon and, like, defeat other demons cause it would make for a good Tik Tok if people saw you crying like a bitch"...Well it wasn't exactly like that but 90% of it was basically just that stupid of a reason..No real explanation whatsoever as to why Akira is the best host and why it's so darn important to be the one and that is what this new show lacks most...CHARACTERIZATION. It fails to establish Akira as a character altogether.

Speaking of characters Akira as MC fails miserably. He feels like an extra in his own show for dog's sake! The only thing we learn about him is that he cries a ton shit of tears like an emo and has emotions...Well fuck me THIS IS THE SHIT! This character, the be all end all, and doesn't get any depth of any sort. In fact because the pacing is as fast as a McLaren F1 ALL CHARACTERS get shit for development.

Let me give you some glaring examples..Ryo and Akira's friendship, which is supposed to be the main focus of this show and in all honesty...I don't feel any kind of friendship from those two. It feels more like a rushed fuck in the alley with a stranger rather than a long deep friendship. I mean apart from being told they're friends we didn't see any prior interactions, like say from when they were kids or something Second one is Akira and Miki and their supposed romance..There isn't a fraction of connection, that we are shown, that hints at any of these things. I'd go as far as to say that the interactions were there just to be there for the heck of it. AGAIN no establishment of the facts whatsoever. Just rushing through this shit so we can go to the next bit like the death of close to the MC characters being done so poorly and rushed that you don't give any fucks about it cause there was no investement in the first place.

Possible spoilers though there's nothing to spoil..Akira's mother dies and is never mentioned again for the rest of the anime..Ryo plans to execute Miki and after she dies? Gone with the wind as gone are any questions about Ryo's motives until push comes to shove which not only is it too little too late but feels like an afterthought.

All these things tie to the ending, by which point i couldn't care less about what happens or who dies or whatever cause the whole anime is a rush job the likes of which i have never seen.

Now let's speak animation shall we?

Like i said animation was trippy and colorful and all kinds of shit and for all 10 mins of the first 2 eps was quite interesting...NOT good just interesting. It certainly brings something new to the table and it works to some extend for this anime but honestly apart from battle scenes which weren't great in the first place, almost 80% of the rest of the anime is so poorly animated that the characters are not characters anymore..They resemble more a bunch of sticks rather than people................And what the fuck is wrong with the animation when people who are possesed are running? I mean they walk upright like humans do but when they run they run like dogs...You have to see it to be able to fully appreciate how stupid this is...Words cannot do justice how ridiculous a choice that was.

To sum it up then..Colours galore and trippy mushroomy animation to hide the fact that little to none budget or fucks were given coupled with a frenetic pace which in turn leads to poor as fuck characterization, no room for emotion or heart or soul and certainly no investment whatsoever to the cast...Just watch the OG and then watch this..Just humour me..

I'm trying really hard to write this review for 2 reasons.

1)It's so hot outside-43°C-to be exact and 2) i can't remember anything about Seiren and i just finished it 30 mins ago...And if i was 80 yrs old there would be a perfect explanation as to why my memory is fuzzy. Alzheimer's disease! But i'm 35 and not even drunk yet so my best guess would be that Seiren is at fault here with its' lethal doses of boredom and depression and to be honest i kinda see why Japan has a forest for people to hang on........Yeah sometimes i can be a sick ... fuck and if there's a god i'm screwed from here to eternity.

So what was i saying? Oh yeah Aokigahara is where people usually go after watching this anime and i can totally see why..This anime is a whole 5 hours of my life taken from me and if i had something to show for it i would be at least fine but now i just wish i was brain dead...You have to be brain dead to like this in the first place anyway.

Seiren uses not masterfully the Amagami SS formula by which i mean that there's this one guy on whom we rest our faith on to continue the human species and the girl of the week....If weeks were 4 eps long..So one guy one gal and after 4 eps we switch gears for the next girl arc...Sounds nice and the upside of this approach is that you don't have the usual harem mob of animated whores who act like Vikings ready to ravage the virgin male.

Now, i'm not gonna sit here and suggest that Amagami was the best thing to come out of Japan since the Walkman but at least it was kinda fun to watch and the aforementioned formula worked like a treat. As for this one...The only formula that works is about 3 litres of coffee per day, followed by 1 bottle of gin and tonic, followed by a box of tissues to mourn the humanity.

You might have noticed by now that i'm not really going into much details about the anime and that might have something to do with the fact that this anime just...It....Well...I can't say anything about it other than there's a main lad who has 2 friends and they play games with deers in them....Yeah don't know why but deer is the main obsession in Seiren...Then you have 4 girls (1 girl per 4 eps=1 arc=shotgun deep into my mouth and that's all folks)..What else?.........Ahhhh yeah, the girls all look exactly the same cause who gives a fuck anyway and you just stand there watching your life go by while watching a lad trying to get laid with the same different girl!

So there you go! That was my review and now i can fuck off and drink till i pass out and die in my sleep hopefully!

Welcome people it's been a while huh?
Warning for our underage fellows..Every single review i write has strong language and over the top offensive tone, so if you're not up to the challenge please leave..Don't want those pesky admins busting my chops again.

So Cross Ange..From what i gather an anime that divided it's fans with it's..Strong themes.Well it divided me too cause i still don't know if i enjoyed it or if it was as stupid as an American President(pick whoever you want).

So let's dive into the damn thing, see what's what. First things first. This ain't an anime for the faint hearted nor for the ... people who think sex themes, violence and abuse should not be addressed in any way and all anime should be fluffy cream pies with a cherry on top. So basically my kind of anime...Sort off. Lemme explain guys and girls.

It starts with our protagonist Angelina(later Ange cause it sounds more like a psychotic truck driver murdering prostitutes...Oh wait that has actually happened in real life..Oops.)who plays some kind of lacrosse with machines that use mana to fly..Now mana is the fuel that runs basically the whole world..Here comes the twist, a brilliant one i might add. The racism theme..There people who can't use mana and are called Normas..Well yeah the name bussiness was given to a 3yr old .Normas are the outcasts of society, treated like unwanted trash, believed to be the plague or something..So they round them up and send them to a camp...Remind you of something? Then another twist..Our princess protagonist is also a Norma..Fuck yeah? Yeah..So she is sent to the camp to play with some other prisoner girls. Things get rough, we have some girl on girl action..More like commander Yuri punishes blonde prisoner and things start to take off.

I have to admit that the premise is great for me at least..And as the series progresses it intertwines more themes like rape, sodomy ,s&m, some mecha, dragons and shit..It's a dream come true.....Or is it? You see i like the thought behind the whole thing, it sounds unbelievably interesting..But writers screwed it up in many many areas. They had a story that great all those themes that should excite you in the most primeval way and travel your mind to the darkest of areas, that provokes your very being...And they flash it down the toilet with sooooooo much nudity, unnecessary nudity and face to crotch action and a dude that controls minds of girls so they can orgasm to sweet sweet heaven..It all goes horribly wrong very fast. It's like a rollercoaster, full of ups and downs.Mostly downs...It takes some real patience and strong will to take it seriously sometimes especially when the one moment it's like "oh my giddy aunt WTF was that" and the exact next sec it's like "holy shit why the stupid ecchi crap"..But in the end no matter what, it wasn't boring in the least. Every ep had some twist, some new plot thrown in there..And again the screw ups keep on coming..The cohesion between every ep was terrible to say the least. I really had some trouble following the writer's train of thought. The thing that fucked it up greatly was the last eps. It ended in the most idiotic way possible..At this point i have to get all spoiley so skip the next paragraph if you want.

Our main antagonist who also plays god with people wants Ange as his wife but the day was saved cause.....She wasn't a virgin..Or so she said...NOW COME ON..This should have won awards, the writers and the studio should be showered with lap dancers rubbing them with pig fat...Nah just fucking with you..It's cancerous for god's sake. It's like binge drinking vodka with snake blood in it. Why in the name of all that's holy did they do that? Bored? Stoned? What the hell were they thinking? Compared to the Bible yeah it's much better where our female protagonist was a virgin and got knocked up by a damn flower....All in all our villain went from an intelligent, all mighty god to a whiny, sex crazed molester.
The animation was horrible..The CGI mecha and the CGI dragons were so bad i thought i was tripping on acid. It's not Berserk bad but it's close.
Soundtracks were meh, voice acting was meh..Nothing worthy of mentioning really.
Characters..If the story can't back them up you can't honestly give a flying fuck, can you? They do get development, a lot of it..Take Ange for example..She went from pampered spoiled bitch to badass female Bruce Willis..And the way she gets there is well written. Come to think of it every character(except for the dead ones who got some marble stones)gets nicely developed. The hardships, the death, the psycholical war every single thing adds to the greater picture. Granted the writers do screw things up on that front too with relentless fan service getting in the way.

Overall i enjoyed the first half..No i didn't..Maybe i did,i don't know..No,it isn't me being schizophrenic..For some "big" part it was quite enjoyable. For the most part it was like watching some hardcore porn. It's something to help young, full of testosterone lads get the blood flowing to their private parts. But if i wanted a boner, i have Pornhub for that.
Ultimately this killed it for me. It should have been an absolute masterpiece..Now as to why they went to masturbation valey, only the writers know that. They had the perfect formula, a story that could revive dead brain cells.It had some freakin great potential and it failed so miserably, i can't find the words to describe it. As something to fap to it's second to none..As something that will change your world view? No,not even slightly. Might as well watch some Salieri films for their depth.

You know how from time to time i say that an anime is intended for a group that should be publicly executed in front of their families? Well as it happens this anime is one of them and its' sole purpose is to please pedophiles.

And this is a perfect case study to be honest cause through this anime i managed to make the link between people who want to fuck kids and people who like moe, cutesy looking characters. Just browse through the reviews in here and you'll get the message pretty fucking quick in sentences like "i know it's wrong but it's cute"....Know ... what else is cute? A bullet through your fucking head.

In fact i think that half the pedo cases around the world could easily be solved just by reading the reviews for this anime. I also think that the police aren't working as hard as they should..Guess they're too busy shooting black people and practicing their karate moves on protesters.

Each and everyone of you who liked this anime and were not trolling should be behind bars..

Let's go back to this abomination..Meet our resident pedo going by the name of Kaho Nikaidou..She is filthy rich and spoiled(Epstein comes to mind)and one fateful day decided that enough is enough with the special treatment she got..So she decides to live at a dormitory for her new school year in the hopes that she will meet people who treat her as an equal..Into the picture comes, the soon to be raped 5th grader who looks nothing like one, Kanade who saves the pedo airhead when she finds herself wandering into traffic...If only someone run over that sick piece of shit i wouldn't have to sit through this pathetic excuse of an anime.

Anyways, through this interaction where Kanade called the pedo weird(lol),the pedo fell in love with him instantly...WHAT? It so happens all the time! But wait, cause as it turns out Kaho lives in the same dorm as the soon to be victim and she professes her love for the soon to be sexual victim. Kanade told her he would like for them to be a couple, but Kaho may not want to date him after she finds out about his big secret...The secret being that despite him looking like a 18 yr old he's actually a 5th grader..Did that stop her? Of course not cause this anime wants to pass an important message...Love is blind..Unfortunately so is the law!

But at least all the dick jokes are censored cause dick jokes are what they felt shame about! Not the pedo part or the part where Kaho's brother wants to fuck her and was saving in bottles her bathwater...If you gonna be edgy or some shit at least have the decency to go all in(pun intended).

Now, i like as much as everyone to amuse myself with taboo subjects from time to time. In fact i believe that this kind of "entertainment" should exist and what better medium than anime could there be for people to express their...Love...If you think about it, it's better to watch this stuff as part of an imaginary setting where no harm can be inflicted on actual children rather than having actual kid porn on your computer..BUT this should be burried where all this sick shit is burried..Hentai sites where normal people won't go near.

All this reminded me of another controversial anime called Kodomo no Jikan. But here's the thing..Kodomo was shameless about what it was, didn't lie about it and i can't believe the words that are about to spew forward but at least it served a purpose..Behind the pedo premise itself and the endless awkward fan service that anime was and will be the first to tackle in a somewhat serious manner the horror of watching a 23yr old teacher who has to deal with a 7 year old girl trying to seduce him..It went to incredible lenths to make you uncomfortable with what you're watching and the consequences involved if you take things lightly....Still a shit of an anime and every other description i can't think of now but it didn't present itself as a Messiah ready to shoulder our sins and then be nailed on a moe character's pillow..And that's one reason i hate this anime, cause it presents itself as a tale of love and tries to "normalize" the situations you're witnessing in your head as cute and romantic..

To end this review cause i don't intend on spending any more time on this piece of shit i'd like to point out the hypocrisy running rampant in this community where people are "disgusted" for example by ecchi anime such as DxD and the likes but fall head over hills for anime like this one as long as it's presented as cute..Cause people tend to gp blind to everything else when cute and moe is involved, even pedophilia....And above all else i'm worried about you people..Worried about the fact that not even once has a lightning hit you.