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Dec 31, 2022
[b]SAWING THE EDGE OFF[/b]
***THIS REVIEW CONTAINS SPOILERS***
I don't know what to think of this somewhat pathetic return to the 90s to fill up a critical lack of inspiration. To make this horribly vulgar decade a model, we must have fallen very low and this is probably the case, which ends up making a turd like this occasionally float up to the surface.
We will say that even if it means taking models to compensate for a complete absence of creativity and a visceral lack of imagination, it is perhaps not the worst idea in the world for a third-rate mangaka to turn to the Devilmans
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and the Parasytes of his childhood (even something more recent like Dorohedoro), imagine that one day, we make rehashes of these damn cutlery people.... HaHaHa... can you see the nightmare from here? Otherwise, you may be one of those disturbing spectators who howl their filthy lack of culture and their pettiness of taste in the face of the world by pouring here and there their incredible dithyrambs on this dump truck of idiocy and you will probably not have the shamelessness to continue further reading what you no doubt imagine, without difficulty, inappropriate.
What is annoying, above all, is not being able to offer anything original or aesthetically coherent in an action series. The men have ridiculous haircuts and the women are painted in vomit colors with scars on their faces, period, it's terribly embarrassing and it's not the CGI and faux POV shots that will make up for much...
The use of CGI use is cheap, and the expressions of the characters are rigid, after seeing the mediocrity of the manga's illustrations, it was perhaps complicated to adapt...
So much so that it couldn't prevent this wet firecracker from selling fewer DVDs in Japan that the new Bleach series and an umpteenth sports anime.
The Americanized, comics style this series verges towards also obviously has its fair share of ridicule with the super-powered Junkman and the ''demons'' he fights, each seedier than the other, competing in hideousness and childish attributes. And that's when you realize that everything is ruined, that the booger-eating, pissing-with-his-pants-all -the-way down-to-his-ankles kid at recess has no longer just become the privileged or even unique spectator of all the cultural abomination of the twenty-first century, he draws and produces TV now, I don't really see how it could ever get better ...
Of course, this is not the case, a story of rare crudeness, a complete absence of stakes, a hero beyond dullness, a flagrant inability to tell a story, and the whole thing proves above all to be a pretext for an accumulation of disgusting creatures straight out of a diseased brain.
And this accumulation of clumsy themes... a new stupid thing is introduced with each episode, it's exhausting...
No doubt the terminally online will identify with the mollusk of a protagonist, who starts off being an orphan monops with testicular cancer with more misfortunes than a POC in an indie film. Herbivore men everywhere will, no doubt, be inspired by his quest to touch boobs, while they should probably touch grass.
He also pisses us off by giving his 20-something evil overlord whore (who seems to have many admirers on TikTok and this site) real superpowers with no limitations, absolutely at odds with everything else, and so, fundamentally useless.
The man-bun guy with a broom up his ass we see in every Shonen and the psychopathic Zero Two ripoff are both as grotesquely useless.
Afterward, it goes quickly haywire but in acceleration, with a little touch of creepiness, zoophile allusions the author seems to be fond of, and other joyous fuckery of bad caliber ... Let's cast a modest veil over the sadly famous episode of the vomit kiss no doubt inspired by Lucifer Valentine and rush on the big piece: the Katana Man arc, probably the ugliest and most ridiculous fight that I have seen so far... No doubt that it will delight many degenerates without aesthetic taste, raised on video games and whom I wish to gently defecate on, but this is animation, the nonsense, it's acceptable in short bursts, not 3 episodes with all sorts of nonsense and gratuitous gore. New ridiculous devils come out of nowhere to fight zombies out of nowhere, a devil let itself be killed by the man-bun asshole and hands him the one-eyed whore's cigarette, while Denji defeats the dull knife man with a lame gag stolen from Monty Python and kicks to the nads. Just like a child playing with his action figures, spilling ketchup everywhere.
This revolting proliferation will of course be described everywhere as prodigious genius or even as thunderous imagination, and so much the worse if the gratuitousness of these monstrosities is useless, so much the worse, also, if the nonsense much more often demonstrates the wretched poverty of the imagination than its deployment and that the absence of the slightest overall rigor here seems to be the golden rule.
I could have felt more Holidays warmth in my heart to give it a 3, I could have also given it a 3 to get it higher than things of bad memory like «Guilty Crown» and «Black Clover».
I could have given it three for the faint premise this anime had of being a sympathetic Shonen with a rare road trip-like premise.
But I finally won't... I'll give it the just treatment of the recycling bin.
Just like the one given to the two or three MAPPA animators who had to spend Valentine's Day keeping Makima's asscrack tight per butt shot.
Reviewer’s Rating: 2
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Feb 25, 2022
***THIS REVIEW CONTAINS SPOILERS***
I've tried, but no matter my effort, I fail to see any appeal to this ''film'' and to the wider DB Super universe by extension. There's everything I disliked about DBZ and Super in this overstretched OVA, repetitiveness, mindless exposition, pathetic action... I can only certify that nothing has changed here and that I was right to drop the manga for even more than just Toyotaro's hideous art.
They took an old, uncanonized boring character that fanboys love from the ''extended'' DBZ lore even I recognize (one of the only OVAs I've seen, with maybe also the one with Cooler) and ''canonized'' him
...
along with all the other fanwankery of Gogeta, Bardock & Frieza to fit into the DB Super canon. All of this gibberish means nothing to normal people, but it's enough to make fanboys with recap Youtube channels ecstatic, it's easy, cheap garbage that serves to make money from people who are way too much invested in this million-dollar goose.
Do some even start to realize that they've seen all of this before in the previous arcs and that this ''film'' is rotten?
I already have a clear disdain towards most things related to superheroes, especially with superpowers, they annoy me to no end, but if it also leads to a messy orgy, it doesn't help to keep the tiny bit of logic that can exist here and there if we study the characters individually...
The film even starts with a 25 minutes intro that hammers you about how Frieza is an evil space dictator Putin towards the Saiyans. His evilness even makes them shit themselves with just a stare. And in turn, the white cis-gendered patriarchal king Vegeta is oppressive towards the gentle Saiyans like Broly's dad. None of this is interesting, It's just an exposition that never ends, get to the fights, please. They even mess up the continuity with Dragon Ball (the manga at least, to my memory). In this film, they gave him Superman's origin story, complete with an off-brand Jor-El/Brando sending his son to earth because he foresees Freiza committing genocide by exploding the Saiyan planet. I was sure Goku was sent to earth to destroy it, just like the other Saiyans do with their kind...
I foresee myself being corrected by fanboys there, but I don't care, it's still an unoriginal take on Superman's myth and it does nothing to make the story move forwards, it all feels very contrived.
Not only is this shown, but It's also explained again later by the two good lackeys of Frieza to the audience, according to the writers of this ''film''. If you've read or watched DB/DBZ you know all of this, so who is this film for? Why am I watching this? I don't even remember anymore, because you have many other characters from the Super continuity who are never even introduced in the film, they just expect you to know who the metrosexual angel and the purple cat are supposed to be. You even have Frieza back, who they explain was resurrected for a tournament, who can now also turn gold for some reason, never mind why they never bothered to deal with him prior to this. What does any of this mean? Who are all those people? How is this what Dragon Ball turned into? What is even left of the childhood fantasy from the original series?
It's nothing but a convoluted series of events to make the fanboys squeal in glee.
After half an hour, the plot starts to develop around the Frieza lackeys meeting and befriending Broly, but it's just boring and idiotic. In the last third of the film, the fights start and I've yet to grasp what I should even care for, they're redundant. A bunch of men in tights yelling and putting on a light show while flying around like fireflies. It would be somewhat pleasing to the eye if it was at least animated well, if the character's animations fitted the CGI effects and backgrounds. If they didn't look like vectorial layers zapping by the screen on low opacity. The film has some ugly animations that are especially apparent when they focus on the contrasted characters against the CGI. The fighting is redundant, the animation takes a nosedive the longer it goes on, at no time is it enjoyable, I really have the impression that everything is just done to get the fanatics to wet themselves. Especially when the ridiculous hums of '' KAKAROT AEOAEOAEO'' and ''GOGEEETTAAA'' start to echo like you're witnessing an epic scene instead of it just being more of the same. I don't even think it's possible to make fight scenes like this work, since the characters can just fly around willy-nilly or even teleport themselves in and out of action. They don't risk any serious injury, handicap, or permanent disfigurement, they will be alright, even if they crash through an entire artic mountain range. Nothing will change even if Frieza, Goku, or Broly wins, because there is nothing at stake, they're not even fighting in a city or leaving mass casualties, it's just a boring fight scene that goes on and on. In the end, nothing matters and it's all solved by the two good Frieza lackeys using their literal deus ex machina in two minutes, showing that the whole film was an overstretched filler episode.
I don't see how this ''film'' adds anything new to Dragon Ball...
Notice that it was written by the same guy who wrote all those Naruto films, fanwankery at its finest.
This long OVA is dry as toast and of profound boredom...
As I'm concerned, Dragon Ball Super, Toriyama, Toyotaro, Broly, Funimation, and Vic Mignogna (while we're at it) can go straight to the trash can.
Reviewer’s Rating: 1
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Feb 17, 2022
I started reading Junji Ito from here, and I frankly feel like I should have just skipped this...
It's all undoubtedly very mediocre for a J-Horror saga.
Tomie seems to be a horror creature flimsily assembled from the discarded pieces of several other works, taking some bits of gothic horror, slasher flics, ghost stories, cosmic horror...
A patchwork of mismatched influences all centering on the character of Tomie, a monster with a human figure, but as irresistible as she's indestructible, a ''waifu'' Michael Myers.
For the length of its three volumes, this all remains very repetitive. The art, especially from the earlier chapters, is subpar. Every character is so
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inconsistent between pages, or even sometimes panels, that I've had trouble telling who is supposed to be who and what the horrible Ito wants us to see in their nonsensical actions. Tomie appears as a monster without explanation or purpose. All Tomie wants is to seduce her victims, but this inevitably leads her to be killed...
The temporality is nonexistent, some stories last for too long, where each non-recurring character tries to stop Tomie, and all inevitably fail because the narrative is too poor to allow for any development, Ito seems unable to write any humane character. The disposable victims are on a level only ever reached by b-grade ''so bad it's good'' schlock, except none of it is funny, just boring. These people stand there, encounter Tomie, try to stop her or fuck her, and get absorbed...
Tomie kills a child, Tomie vs Tomie, Tomie goes to school, Tomie on the moon...
If we think about it, it could have been worse, Ito could have given Tomie alien origins!
I think I will take my leave before I decide to tackle Uzumaki.
Reviewer’s Rating: 3
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Jan 28, 2021
Honestly, I watched this out of pure recommendation, just because I heard it was about death metal, a musical genre that relaxes me, and frankly, I laughed. I found myself laughing many times. And also headbanging, and dancing in my panties all over my room.
If I understand this well, it's created for the Japanese branch of Netflix, I have no idea if it had any kind of occidental influence (or money) because the series has a sort of Nintendo style to it. It looks like a long-lost rhythm game for the DS if anything. A time when videogames were art.
The graphical style got me hooked
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on the series, these critters are cute, the facial expressions they pull, even just how they move by going from the foreground to the background (reminding me of Paper Mario, at times). The soundtrack to this series is pure bliss to my ears, be it at the karaoke when they yell a lot of METAL, or even just the ambient music that plays throughout the show.
Not displeasing to my senses at all. Even more, if one gets hooked to the esthetic of cuteness meeting its aggressive side.
The episodes are really short and no plot really gets developed. This makes the show easy to enjoy, never really a time to get bored or fill the series up with filler and bad animation. One punchline follows another, and the whole thing is coherent. The Hippopotamus was a highlight, talking some fast bullshit and moving wildly. Also, they didn't spare themselves from screaming a lot of metal, so it's all good.
Honestly, I don't know if this could ever be displeasing, it was all very stupid but never really felt heavy to me.
This show isn't deep or that intelligent, but there was some nice common sense in mockingly depicting Japanese work culture (even if the characters are very broad caricatures).
Reviewer’s Rating: 7
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Jan 21, 2021
Sword Art Pornline must be synonymous with a big steaming pile of shit.
But why? For simple reasons, the protagonist is sexually deranged. He never misses a beat when it comes to sexually assault everything and wet his boxers. He must pack a lot in his fat sack because the boy exchanges his virginity for the chance of gaining online clout. The premise starts so well that the anime is almost convincing. We have established an opposition that underlines the tragic touches the story would have supposedly taken. But... we quickly lose the plot and end up with stories that have nothing to do with the
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rest, but also, a Kirito who isn't above sticking his dick inside everyone, even if his situation is dire.
These typical harem conflicts are seriously exaggerated. One of these reasons being the girls who are devoid of any proper character. Only their hair and age are endemic to them. Let's not talk of the maid, who thinks she's really fine and clever but looks like an idiot while eating her hay. The pornocrats love to show her off as some kind of waifu, who will revolutionize the world of marketing unattainable women.
You've already been told all of this, SAO compiles in itself every cliché in the book. It blends genres with its hero who slays big dragons but is dominated by big pairs of tatas.
The most surprising turn in the story is Kirito himself. His routine consists of boss rushes, random quests within the confines he and others have been entrapped in, but after some episodes, we're back on some grind, the same ghastly stories on some other part of the extended universe. These really don't have any place in the narrative, which has been set up within the first few episodes.
I don't think I'm fixating on the ecchi tones of the whole first season, or overemphasizing its context within this review. It really is all there is when it comes to talking about the scenaristic qualities of the work. The capricious libido of our main protagonist is relative to what is really shown. It is too far removed from reality to be appreciated, or accepted when someone normally constituted has this shoved in his face constantly.
I wonder what Freud would have said about the world of SOA. When you know that the author has participated in the conceptualization of Accel World, you've got a few questions to ask yourself about the vanity of the whole project.
Reviewer’s Rating: 1
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Jan 20, 2021
The review may contain spoilers found in the Netflix description.
I started watching this, at first, because the description for this anime was dumb enough to make me laugh, I expected something very shite.
I don't know if I would go as far as to call it great, but it is quite tense and sexualized, enough to keep me watching the two seasons.
We follow the journey of a girl who gets turned on by gambling, in a school where the pecking order is governed by the house. Everyone cheats, but she likes to play. She's smarter and more cunning than most, so she manages to outdo them,
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sometimes by mere luck. There lies the strength of the series when it comes to gambling, seeing a force of nature wrecking torment on her opponents.
If the series often gets compared to Kaiji, it's unjustified. Yumeko seems to share more of a semblance to Akagi. Both are near unbeatable figures who share a taste for risk and disdain towards those they deem too cowardly to match them. Kaiji turns out to be a mediocre man who is far too commonplace. Technically, most should be able to identify with Kaiji more easily and find him more endearing. But that would be forgetting one of the primordial points of attachment and identification in a narrative work: the will to identify oneself. Mysterious and extraordinary characters such as Akagi and Yumeko naturally guide the viewers to become more attached to their destinies. There is an exotic fascination around characters whose actions someone can't rationalize immediately.
But there's a catch, Kakegurui takes a different characteristic approach.
The anime is fast-paced, often covering a single game within one or two episodes. Nothing is explained through viewer exposition, visual hints often get more explicit if one rewatches an episode after seeing the outcome of the game. In earlier episodes, we often have Ryota being explained the tactics behind certain tricks. This serves to alienate the viewer, in a sense. Even if one can be familiar with the real references and psychological tricks the show loves to cite.
It's odd for a gambling show because we aren't really meant to feel the stakes from Yumeko's perspective but from her opponents.
They are the main characters of their own arcs, we are shown why they choose to play, what they stand to lose, and some are presented with sympathetic motivations.
We feel the anxiety that takes over them when Yumeko gets closer and closer to breaking them because they simply don't stand a chance. It's not Manichean as other gambling animes, there's little to no character who is truly villainous. At most, they are tools of a hierarchical system that can take everything away from them.
The series also holds particular interest, because it's morbid and sexual. The main cast is almost entirely feminine, and we see them openly masturbate over the impossible odds. We feel the pleasure that dominates them in possibly losing everything, a deadly desire that is both sexual and masochistic. The numerous shots of the cast's erogenous zones (ass, lips, boobs, thighs..) only exist to excessively sexualize these students. But the morbidity of their fetish and the expressions they pull counterpoises the overabundant fanservice. These are young women who are ready to die so they can feel fulfilled, for a taste of risk.
After a while, it becomes impossible to heighten the stakes. Once a character has taken part in a game of Russian roulette, the thrill is sort of gone. So the series makes the games more rational, we go from simple challenges in the first season to a full-on game of thrones, with trials that are more complex and mathematical. We start to get more of this addiction to risk, where there isn't even anything to gain anymore, just the possibility of losing all hope.
This council president arc still isn't resolved at the end of the second season, leaving me a bit disappointed. But the series is short, no filler, no useless character arcs, and we never spend five episodes on a steel beam. So my usual gripes about anime adaptations aren't an issue here.
I might see some real legs in the live-action series until then, who knows.
Reviewer’s Rating: 7
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