What It Means to Be You

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This is a book that falls flat due to its over-reliance on angst and drama. The author gave us a story about two very different people in a relationship, but they seem to think I will feel sorry for the lead just becaue she is a princess and is sad. Like her situation is bad, 100% something worth a divorce, but I can't ignore the fact that she never did anything for herself, not once did she ever genuinely stand up for herself. And despite being so smart, she is incapable of realizing that her husband has abandonment issues and an inferiority complex because he ... was a literal child slave that had to work every day of his life to be seen as human after being abandoned at an restaurant as a child.

Like there are literal scenes where he says "I don't understand anything but money cuz I was poor and didn't receive a lot of love due to my race" and she will argue like "how dare you not understand love! You are heartless!" And I just died a little inside. I don't think she's selfish for wanting to break up with him, but I do think she is selfish for expecting him to read her mind. She constantly acknowledges that they're different but refuses to actually bridge the gap even when he is actively trying. She would rather assume he hates her than actually do anything for herself. She would rather die than actually talk to him about her problems. She will hear this man say "I already lost money with you but I'm fine if I have you" and still think he doesn't love her and only cares about the money.

And he is no better. I understand that his love language isn't touching, but at some point, he should have realized hers is. He is so up his own ego that he would actively ignore his bleeding and shaking wife. He treats her like a doll or a prize and only gives her attention after actively seeing her suffer and hiding major information from her for no reason other than the plot. For what reason would he actively withhold the fact that he can't have kids with her and why is adoption just not a thing? He was adopted. She just wanted to be a mother.

This is a book that fails not because the idea isn't interesting or the leads aren't hot, but because the characters within it are too dumb to live.

This manga might be an annoying read to some, and it isn't without it's flaws, but personally, I found it enjoyable.

The manga follows a woman in a transactional marriage gone wrong. She loves her husband, but is filled with guilt over the conditions of her marriage. On top of that, she is constantly ignored by her husband and berated by everyone in her life. She ends up dying by taking her own life, and wakes up in her husband's body.

Unlike other mangas, time doesn't rewind. This is a refreshing change of pace. Both the FL and ML are written well, in that their characters ... have feelings that make sense within the context of the story. Their personalities fit perfectly with their backgrounds, and their reactions to certain story arcs were understandable.

I also found it enjoyable to see how the FL works through her trauma and gains her confidence back. Its nice that the author pays proper attention to how despite her longing for suicide, she is incapable of actually dying. She is stuck in her despair with no way out besides continuing to live and fight for herself.

However, the misunderstandings are too many to count and often don't make sense at all. Sometimes it's reasonable to react the way they did, other times it's appalling it even lead to a misunderstanding.

For example, the ML believes the FL had been cheating because it's physically impossible for them to conceive, and he had suspicions already when she said she was pregnant (it was his parents setting her up and she wasn't actually pregnant). That's understandable.

But there was also a time when the FL comes up to her husband in hysterics, fingers covered in blood, crying and begging for a moment of his time because there's something important she has to tell him, and he shooes her away, telling her that he's busy and to not waste his time? How do you misunderstand that?

Or how multiple times she tells him to stop spending money on her because it's useless and doesn't make her happy, but he refuses and demands she pick something out, even though she will say clearly she prefers to just be with him. He will even state, "If I buy her more things, surely she'll realize I love her."

Each time they almost get close and rectify their relationship, the ML ruins it all by being an absolute disaster. I wouldn't have questioned it if it was revealed he was diagnosed bipolar.

Again and again, she will try to speak to him, but he shuts her down each time. He doesn't realize it until it's too late, and he spends the rest of the time trying to win her back.

There's even a line about how almost 4 years after their marriage, after she's asked for divorce and lived on her own for a full year, it was the very first time the ML ever gave the FL a compliment...

Ultimately, it's an interesting read, simply for the dynamics and the interesting primace. The main appeal is the realistic portrayal of someone struggling to find the will to live. I often felt like I'd react the same way as the FL if I were in her shoes. And they do eventually clear up the misunderstandings, it just might take 70+ chapters...