This episode for me is the most well-written and beautiful episode of fruits basket. Kyo has been told all his life that he is a monster, that he doesn't deserve love, and that any love in his life is an illusion. His only reason for living most of his life is for the sole purpose of beating Yuki, as he sees Yuki as the reason why his life is in shambles. Then comes this ray of light in his life, Tohru. She sees him for who he really is, not as a monster, and he has a hard time believing it. He has known for a while now that she is special to him, but he has a hard time accepting that someone could mean something to him and that he could be special to someone. He doesn't want to see Akito but, when he saw how happy Tohru, he went, just for her. This goes back to what he said at the start of this episode, "If something will make you smile, I'd be willing to do it over and over again". He knows meeting with Akito will not go well, but he does it for her, so she can be happy because that's what's most important to him. Before he sees Akito he is about to try and punch Yuki, but he stops. He does this because he truly knows that he can't beat him and that he will be taken from Tohru, so he gives up. The meeting with Akito goes as expected, he is told over and over again the thing that he has been told all his life, that he is a monster and not worth anything. He is so used to this he just listens and accepts this as the truth, when its not. He is just letting this happen until Akito bring Tohru into it, when Akito says that Tohru is a negative impact and that she is nothing special, he finally fights back. He is in the middle of defending her when he stops and thinks of past moments with her. She has never ran from him, she never let him run away because she knew that if she let him, he would be gone forever. He then reflects on how she thinks that she is a burden and that she thinks there is nothing good about her. He can't believe she thinks that because she is so special to him and that she is always giving and helping others, that she is nothing like a burden. Then he has a flashback to a story that Momiji told him, about a dull traveler that gives away their stuff to everyone who asks for it, whether or not they truly need it. The traveler gave away everything they could give, yet Momiji did not think that this is a makes them stupid, but it makes them kind, and this makes him think of Tohru. Kyo then says " I love you, I love you, so much, just as you are". This is outstanding character development as Kyo never thought he could love or deserve to have those feelings. Yet, just for Tohru, he abandons his beliefs and in a moment of discovery and vulnerability, he admits he loves her. The voice acting in this scene is also amazing both in dub and sub. I do have to point out how heartbreaking the performance of Jerry Jewell is. This whole episode he is expressing how Kyo feels so well, it makes the episode even more emotional. The scene where Kyo admits his love to himself is truly a masterpiece, the first "I love you" Kyo says, Jerry says it as if it was a mistake that he said that to himself, that he was shocked he could ever feel something like that. At the start of the episode, he says "when did I start thinking stupid sappy things like that, and why, it's almost like, I... I " He isn't able to admit his feelings but now he is strong enough to. The second "I love you" he says as a release, that the thought has been in his head for a long time and he feels so much better now that he was able to say it to himself. The rest of that line " so much, just as you are" he says it with so much passion and love that we feel that love so intensely through the screen. What makes Kyo even stronger than admitting this to himself, was that he was able to lie to Akito and say that he doesn't feel those things, because he doesn't want Tohru to get hurt. When he leaves all he can think of is how he doesn't deserve to feel love and all his negative thoughts come rushing back. He then sees Tohru alone on the beach and instinctively runs to her. She reminds him of an innocent flower, who doesn't deserve to be trampled by anything, that she is precious, so precious. Just a minute ago, he was swarmed with negative emotions that once again, fade away with his love for Tohru. Tohru asks what happened and he lies, just to make sure that her smile doesn't fade. He knows he loves her but he believes she can never feel the same way and that his fate is to be alone. He knows he is running out of time and accepts that. All he wants is to use the time he has left to stay by her side and imagine a world where they can be together. He wants that world to be real but he has no hope, the only thing that matters to him now is her and her happiness. This episode is beautiful and so important to the story, I think it needs to be recognized more. |