Shuudengo, Capsule Hotel de, Joushi ni Binetsu Tsutawaru Yoru.

I legitimately felt like watching a romance anime, so when I found this I was like ''why not?'' Big mistake. This is like a bad undercover hentai. The sex scenes are shit and there is no character development. It was almost like the person who made this was like, '' Oh, what if we made a hentai that didn't seem like a hentai so more people could watch it where all the sex scenes are the same with them wearing different clothes and being unemotional-pleasure-seeking robots that didn't have personalities.'' This was one crap anime. The art was off and there were honestly times where ... I thought the dude had a hole through his face because of horrible shadows. The storyline was lacking in every compartment and I hardly understood what was going on. I feel that if they weren't going to make a proper storyline the sex should at least be great, but it wasn't.

In other words, this is crap, don't watch it.

You know what has kind of been getting on my nerves lately? The recent trend of borderline-hentai short TV anime, or the “seasonal smut”, as I like to call it. Ever since Souryo to Majiwaru (insert the rest of the long title here) came out in the spring of 2017, there would always be that one anime every season that is quite perverted and comes in two or three versions, with one being basically full-blown hentai and the non-hentai version(s) censoring the sexy scenes in rather awkward ways; all the while, little care is put into the other parts of the anime that could possibly ... make it enjoyable. Take the anime I’m about to review - the “seasonal smut” from back in the fall of 2018 - for instance. What we have here is the perfect example of a generic anime from the “seasonal smut” genre that encapsulates (no pun intended) exactly what that genre has to offer.

Ladies and gentlemen, I hope you’re ready for my review of an anime with a name that’s probably longer than its runtime, “Shuudengo, Capsule Hotel de, Joushi ni Binetsu Tsutawaru Yoru.”, known in English as “The Night When Me and My Boss Spent the Night at the Capsule Hotel After the Last Train and He Passed His Fever to Me”.

Shuudengo Capsule Hotel (as it will henceforth be called) follows Minori Aizawa, an office lady who constantly argues with her boss, Akihiko Hadano. One night, after a company drinking party, Minori happens to miss the last train of the night; thus, Hadano takes her to a capsule hotel, which is basically a hotel with small rooms that the beds make up. Unfortunately, Minori’s room happens to be taken, so she ends up rooming with Hadano for the night. (I’m sure you can guess where this is going....) That night plants the seed for Minori and Hadano’s growing relationship....

First of all, I might as well admit my cowardice and say that I watched the censored version (which I was SOMEHOW able to find with English subtitles); thus, I can’t evaluate the sex scenes. With that said, though, the way that the sex scenes were completely cut out was awkward, to say the least, and it made each episode’s already-short runtime even shorter. I cannot believe I am saying this, but anyone who wants to watch this (although I will say right now that you are better off not watching it at all) is probably better off watching the uncensored version as long as they are comfortable with watching the sex scenes. At least a good chunk of each episode isn’t cut out in that version!

Sex scenes or no sex scenes, though, the short runtime of this anime still hurts the story and characters. The story of Shuudengo Capsule Hotel is as generic of a love story as they come, and at some points, it was all over the place; to be frank, it wasn’t entertaining at all. The characters in this story weren’t much better. A noticeable trend in the “seasonal smut” genre - at least, the ones aimed at a female demographic - is that the man tends to come off as a rapist; while Hadano wasn’t really as much of a creep as characters like Aki Myojin from “Amai Choubatsu” - or at least, he didn’t come off like that to me - he still has creepy tendencies that show when he forces himself on Minori. Minori herself is the perfect example of how to write a perfectly bland character; other than maybe her looks, she really doesn’t have much going on for her, and even when she says “we can’t do this” or stuff like this in response to Hadano’s advances, you sure don’t see her struggling! Because of the runtime of this anime, Minori and Hadano’s relationship doesn’t get a good enough amount of development, but let’s be honest; no matter how much you try to develop a relationship like this, can you really consider it a healthy relationship that everyone who sees the series they are in will support?

Okay, the story and characters are an obvious bust, but what about the animation, voice acting, and music? Surely, they will be good enough, right? WRONG, especially if you are talking about the animation. The character designs are fine, but throughout the entire series, I kept spotting animation error after animation error, whether it came from the characters’ movements or the setting that they were in; the studio working on this, Suiseisha, really could have done a better job animating it. Maybe the sex scenes are better-animated? I don’t know for sure, but if that is the case, it really goes to show that they care more about the quality of the sex scenes than the quality of literally anything else. Well, at least there is the voice acting. It was alright; the voice actors didn’t give groundbreaking performances, but they did their best. The ending theme was also okay, but it’s ultimately forgettable.

I have spent all of this time bashing on Shuudengo Capsule Hotel, but is it the worst “seasonal smut” anime I have ever seen? No, but it is certainly not the best I have seen, either. Whether it is the worst or the best, however, I can say for sure that I do not recommend watching this anime, regardless of whether or not you’re watching it for the sexy times. I believe the same can be said for any of the “seasonal smut” anime there are; if you’re really watching for the “plot” and not the plot, you might as well watch hentai instead!

Few years ago, new anime genre called it's-not-porn-it's-a-romance-I-swear was invented. It' basically a combination of 15 seconds long pixelated hentai sequences and the most idiotic, unlikely-to-happen-irl romance bullshit imaginable.

This time around it's a story about a girl who says "no" and a guy who hears her words as "yes", but apparently, it's not rape because they work in the same company and the guy is really horny. So basically, it's the exact same thing as all the other series from the same genre.

The entire thing is build based on opposites.

Girl: You can't.
Guy: Does anyway.
Girl: Stop.
Guy: Continues.
... Girl: Together.
Guy: Alone.

At this point, I have to mention that there are currently 3 different versions of this series available. The first one is PG13 and the sex scenes have been removed so it's just a story about two people being in the same place at the same time. The second version has like clouds over genitals and boobies don't have nipples. And the third version is the one that offers the story as intended. Why do this then? You ask (well, I ask at least). Because it's really important that every person, regardless of their age, has the possibility -- the opportunity! -- to witness this greatness while it still maintains its appeal to people of every age in the suitable and ideal way. I greatly envy the children today who have the change to grow up watching the different versions of the story over the years as they age. Missed opportunity from my part, but definitely a timeless classic the future generations.

The characters are pretty funny at least, mainly because they suck so hard. The female's (whose name I still don't know) greatest character merit being owning a tight pussy. The dude's one single merit is to being able to use this woman most of the time as he wishes. The sex scenes are quite terrible. Almost identical to each others, super boring stuff, occasionally no penetration at all. The variety is miniscule as typically they only take place in a different surroundings. The girl just lays there like a dead fish and moans or says "no" while the dude uses finger or mouth action.

As romances, this thing is beyond awful and as a porn it is useless.