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(TL;DR: A run-of-the-mill romance plot made noteworthy by its realistic and respectful depiction of permanent disability. I was caught off guard by how much better this was than I expected, and by how much I was able to identify with Josée.)

I am disabled myself, and this movie subverted many of my expectations.

When it comes to stories that feature disabled main characters, be them fictional or based on reality, there is a stark difference between ones that are made for abled people and ones that are made for disabled people.

With the former, you get stories that use us only as objects, symbols, or for shock value. ... Stories that treat us as things you should feel sorry for, but also draw inspiration from. You get stories about how “beautiful” our suffering is and how “brave” we are for simply living our lives. Stories that end on some unrealistic high note in order to give their abled audiences hope in a struggle they don't even experience.

Those types of stories, the former, are so commonplace that I went in to this movie apprehensive and expecting it to be exactly that. I was so, so glad to find that it's mostly the latter instead: a story that treats disabled people like human beings.

Frankly, as a romance plot, it doesn't do anything revolutionary. We have the thought-provoking girl who meets the normal cool guy, and they dislike each other at first, only to find they have common interests, they bond, etc., etc., with some cheap conflicts and melodrama mixed in. However, as a story about navigating young adulthood and romance while disabled? It's very good, and perhaps the most respectful and intentionally realistic one I've ever seen.

Through our two main characters we see a lot of the painful parts of disability: a sense of loss, uncertainty about the future, depression, isolation—and they are handled with care. None of it felt like angst thrown in to make me feel pity. Instead, it felt authentic. It made me feel seen.

To be more specific, Josée in particular hit very close to home for me. I'm almost exactly her age, and I have also spent my life isolated in my home, wishing for better things. I too have spent so many years just trying to manage symptoms and survive that I don't even want to bother anymore, sometimes. And the pressure to magically become independent so I can support myself when my family are all gone is stifling and terrifying, and I was really moved when I saw Josée going through the same experience. The list goes on.

And yet, Josée isn't defined by these hardships and her disability. She changes and develops throughout the movie like any abled character would. She has her own issues and interests and dreams that aren't inherent to disability, but are still influenced by her experiences. Overall, I feel the film strikes a good balance making her a generally endearing and sympathetic character without making it possible to separate her from her disability. You can't forget about it or ignore it, and you can't pretend like she isn't disabled, but it also isn't her entire character.

(This paragraph includes spoilers.) I only started to get worried around halfway through, when Tsuneo is hospitalized. It begun to feel to me like the movie was going to end up suggesting that he never would have truly loved Josée if he hadn't also become disabled himself. The pacing really didn't help—the accident happens very abruptly and dramatically, and I was scared it was just being thrown in for shock value. However, my fear was quickly dispelled. Instead, it felt to me like a good representation of what it's like to become disabled in adulthood.

(This paragraph includes spoilers.) We see Tsuneo feeling a sense of loss over the goals he had that seem unattainable now, and other aspects of his life, which is a very painful and real part of disability. You will spend a lot of time mourning yourself—the person you used to be and the things you used to be able to do. The dreams you wanted to pursue. It's another thing that I could personally relate to that made me feel seen, an aspect of my own experience with disability that I still struggle with to this day, and I'm really glad that it was depicted in this manner. Similar to how Josée's struggles are handled, a good balance is struck. The movie definitely conveys that yeah, this is soul-crushing and discouraging and just really hard to deal with, but it isn't a fate worse than death. It doesn't get too heavy or upsetting. It's, again, simply realistic.

(This paragraph includes spoilers.) In the end, Tsuneo's situation is too much of the “miraculously returning to your previous level of function” brand of optimism for my taste, but since—amazingly!—our other main character is also disabled, we get to see the kind of good ending that I can see myself in: Josée thriving as a permanently and visibly disabled person.

In all, I liked this film so much more than I thought I would. I saw piece after piece of myself in the characters, especially Josée. Living as a disabled person is a complex and multifaceted experience, but it's still just life, and I'm so glad that this anime shows it as such. Perhaps I'm giving it too much credit; disability is a serious topic, after all… but sometimes I just want to see people like me in a story where they do something besides suffer and die.

(Please keep in mind that my opinion here isn't the only one that matters. Don't use this review to invalidate other disabled people who may disagree, or to shut down anyone's concerns about the way this movie handles the topic. Thanks for reading!)

I didn't ever plan on writing any reviews, but this manga disgusted me so thoroughly that I felt I needed to write one. I cannot recommend this to anyone, and I especially don't recommend it if you're LGBT and/or have any mental illnesses.

As a person who also has mental compulsions, I was interested in this because of the main character, Shirotani, despite the fact that I feel he's depicted somewhat stereotypically. It would have been nice to read a manga about a character with realistic OCD and their journey as they heal, but this turned out to be… not that. At best, it's fetishistic, and ... at worst, it's actively harmful. I couldn't read more than the first two volumes before I had to stop.

Going in, I was a little concerned about the dynamic between Kurose and Shirotani, and I was glad they decide to just meet each other casually outside the clinic. I really had hopes at first to see him help Shirotani get better! And yet, Kurose starts to overstep boundaries. The complete lack of respect he seems to actually have for Shirotani and his condition is appalling, and seeing it culminate in him sexually assaulting Shirotani because he “loves him” was absolutely reprehensible.

What makes it all worse is the way it's fetishized. Shirotani says so many times that he hates Kurose touching him, that he's disgusted and feels contaminated, and yet the story goes on to insist “oh, but he actually did like it and can't stop thinking about it! ;)”. It's gross. If someone, especially someone who was helping me with one of my illnesses, ever took advantage of me and treated me in such a way, I would feel violated. I would ensure I never saw them again. No actual mentally ill person would react this way to being mistreated and having their trust betrayed like that.

If it were framed as Shirotani having an unhealthy dependence on Kurose, it would be different. If this were a story about Shirotani being dependent on Kurose and making bad decisions, and then having to learn from them and be better, it would be different. However, it's not. It's just a terribly unhealthy relationship that's fetishized and romanticized. And as someone who also has mental disorders, someone who saw myself in Shirotani, I felt really hurt by this manga and the way his character is ultimately handled.

I do not recommend it, not even if you don't care about the plot and just want to read it for the sexual content. I think it dangerously fetishizes mental illness, and romanticizes abuse from mental healthcare providers.

Thank you for reading, and please treat this manga with caution.