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“How Do We Relationship?” is the most mature romance manga I’ve ever read. No better way to describe it. Not mature in the sense of 18+ content (though it’s not afraid to get spicy when the story needs it), but in that the author knew really well what she wanted to write and didn’t hold back on doing everything to make it work as well as it did.

Yuri / Shoujo Ai / GL in japanese media is a genre I've always felt like it wasn't my thing. Girls kissing is always pretty nice to see in media, but when a story is built around that ... without giving it much substance I feel a bit like it's not treating that subject with the respect it deserves. But well... it's not like there are that many GL series out there and I need my representation so I still end up coming back around them even if just for the girls kissing alone.

How do we Relationship is a series went to read just for the girls kissing. At the time only the first one-shot had been translated, and it really intrigued me: instead of being a story about the drama that leads up to the beginning of 2 girls' romantic relationship... the relationship begins from the outset and it's about the drama that comes with the that very fact itself. That got me hooked!

At this point I don't recommend reading the one-shot until you've read the manga at least up to Volume 7. Due to the short format it couldn't put that much into the story (which led to some people I've met terribly misunderstanding it), but it lays the groundwork for the whole story and various events that take place in it. I knew there was more to it, and I discovered that Tamifull had made 2 other one-shots but only one of them got translated...

So picture my excitement when I discovered it became an ongoing series.

Tamifull really set herself to solidify this story and the most important part of it is its character writing. This is not a story about girls kissing, but about Saeko and Miwa: who are they, what's their personality, what's their understanding of their sexuality and how it came to be, how they develop or change as the story goes, who are their friends and family, what places do they go to, what's their backstory and what to do with the loose threads from it, and so on... From that you get 2 really great (albeit flawed) protagonists whose character itself dictates their actions in the story, how they affect and are affected by not only each other but also those around them... and, of course, how the girls kissing aspect happens.

What happens if you put these 2 characters together is an inherently flawed relationship that needs a lot of work from each other if they hope to make it work. I really like the story's official english title, "How do we Relationship?". It depicts by itself the flawed relationship and their will to learn and get over it.

The fan-translation title "So do you want to go out, or..." is a good translation of the japanese title "付き合ってあげてもいいかな” (read Tsukiatte Agetemo Ii Kana") that works with the casual nature of the manga. But it lacks the ambiguity of the language used, making it an one-sided question asked by each party. To me the japanese title can also have a nuance of them asking themselves the question, that I`d translate as "Is it alright for us to go out?", which is a recurring thought throughout the manga.

Any search for people talking about this manga will make you see that the main emotion associated with it is "angst". I understand the feeling, as wanting to have that angst feeling resolved was one of the main reasons for me to go out and start learning japanese when they stopped fan-translating and the official release was only every 6 months. But I do think associating only that word with it is kinda to the detriment of the story being about the characters getting over the struggles.

Small problems, big problems, all take its appropriate time to flesh out and find the best possible solution, even if doesn't seem like it is at first. The characters are immature and a big chunk of the problems are caused by said immaturity, but the story knows that and builds these characters to grow up more mature as the story goes along. And boy, if you haven't got to volume 9 (as of writing this, english translation is still on vol 7), you have no idea how much they grow up.

And talking about just Saeko and Miwa kinda undermines how alive this story's world feel. This story has a huge cast consisting of friends, family, classmates, clubmates, coworkers, friends of friends… all of which are done justice to and fleshed out perfectly for what the story wants to tell. In many chapters you won't even see Saeko or Miwa for a good chunk of it just to explore their characters.

The story being character driven applies to the whole cast. These are people living their lives, dealing with their own struggles, and it's reinforced when showing how they are affected and affect the protagonists and their relationship. I love all of these characters, I'd easily read a whole manga about each of the supporting cast, not in the sense that they're not well explored but just that I'd want more of them that doesn't have to do with the main story being told.

Another problem I have with GL stories is that often the queer aspect of it doesn't go beyond "but we're both girls". I'm all in for positive representation that don't feel the need to address possible issues with heteronormativity, homophobia and other things.. But it can sometimes make me feel like the story is idealizing way too much or make me not relate as much, because as much as I'd like to live in a world where those issues don't exist... I don't.

It shows how the LGBTQ+ characters deal with these things in all sorts of ways, from subtle things like body language, or having trouble opening up because of the internalized fear, to harsher situations where the characters snap or fight others because of their lack of understanding.

It doesn't shy away from discussing and exploring sexuality in all fronts. It shows the LGBTQ+ characters own history and understanding of their own sexuality, them dealing with heteronormativity, how the straight characters deal with getting to know an LGBTQ+ person, one's experience with sex or lack thereof, the weight of romance and sex in an allosexual relationship, asexuality, aromanticism, a LGBTQ+ person's relationship with their parents and vice-versa. All going into great depths to make this probably the most relatable LGBTQ+ representation I've seen in a manga, and the chapters that go in depth in something related to these topics being some of my favorite in the series.

Unfortunately the language barrier makes it so a good chunk of this manga still can't be experienced by non japanese spakers as of writing this. The series just continues to be consistently good with every release if not better. And now with the last open plot threads gradually closing up up and the story marching torwards an end from the looks of it, I'm really looking forward to how it goes, as much as any english-only reader, confident that it'll be great.