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Okay, I think enough time has passed. It's time to review Mars of Destruction. Geez, this is going to be painful. The first thing should know about this movie is that it is easily the absolute worst thing I have ever watched. Obviously there's stuff with way worse subject matter out there that is absolutely unacceptable, which I'm glad I haven't seen, but out of what I have seen, this is the pits. And, believe me, I've seen some bad movies *cough* the live action King of Fighters was horrendous *cough*, but I can't express enough that this really is the worst. So, let's do ... a quick rundown, and then get to why Mars of Destruction is one of the most awful short movies ever made. Oh, and spoilers, if you really want to find out the plot of this horrendous work yourself.

This movie was made in 2005 and is based off of a video game series which is probably way better. It was directed by Yoshiteru Satou, who is one of the most infamed men in anime, as he produced the other slammed video-game-based OVA of the anime community, Skelter Heaven, too. No hate to him, by the way- he obviously tried on both of these movies, and it's a shame that both of them are so awful. Skelter Heaven was awful, don't get me wrong, but it was...tolerable? I wouldn't watch it again, no chance, but it wasn't exactly atrocious (unlike Mars of Destruction). It was animated by WAO World, who made several nostalgia-filled animes which honestly don't sound that bad. They seen like a decent company. But, back to the year it was made- this thing is 19 years old at the time of writing. 2005 honestly was not the best year for anime, and this was the worst of the bunch. But why?

Plot
The plot...err...they fight aliens, or something? Something about MARS Suits? I don't really know- the plot was extremely forgettable and just felt like some kind of mildly edgy straight-to-DVD movie. There's this one (hilariously animated) scene where this girl (who doesn't even canonically have a name, a personality or a single line) gets shot, and when the other girls visit her dead body in the hospital, one of them asks, "Is she dead?". That is one of the most memorable hilarious moments in anime for me. Like, no, her head blew up, why would she be dead from that tiny injury? It even seems like the characters themselves have no idea what they're supposed to be doing, as it says on a couple of the character pages for this OVA. So, yeah, the plot is nothing to write home about, to say the least.

Characters
Uhh...who is who? Listen, I'm not usually someone who says that- I'll defend the One Piece girls until the day I die, and I love animes where everyone is a similar artstyle, like Lucky Star. But I don't recall being told any of the girls' names at any point. They all seem to have that cliché, semi-worrisome, cutesy, strong-but-need-to-be-saved nature. I remember the pink-haired girl being my favourite, who is apparently named Yamabuki Unno (again, we were never told this at any point in the anime itself). I like her hair colour. Literally, that's the only differentiation. Brown hair girl, pink hair girl, purple hair girl, male character. Justice for Yamabuki Unno! You know, I always feel bad when good characters are put in awful animes. Bring back Yamabuki Unno 2024! AHHHHHH!

Animation/Artstyle
The animation is...fine??? A tiny bit janky. Nothing awful, but nothing spectacular. Then again, I watched this OVA on YouTube in, like, 8 pixels. I can't imagine it was amazing to begin with though. I'll give it credit for not being the worst artstyle ever, just a little plain. Anyone who has played the games, what are they like? Is the artstyle similar? And...as I'm sure it is...are the games 1000 times better?

Voice Acting
I flicked through the OVA as fast as I could to make a retrospective for this part of this review. Probably the biggest positive about this anime. You know what...it's quite good! Some of the characters, like I mentioned earlier, are very cliché, especially for early 2000s anime. But they picked some decent voice actors, and I applaud them. It's just a shame they will forever be held down by such an outrageous piece of work. There isn't a dub, by the way- but someone else I applaud is whoever bothered to sub the thing. Maybe a bunch of us could do a dub! I call dibs on the main guy (every time I remember his name, a horrifyingly familiar voice in my head, like an anime girl war flashback, goes, "Takeru! T-Takeru!")!

So, yeah, that was my review on the worst anime of all time. Thanks a bunch for reading. I still hold my statement- the only remotely good thing about Mars of Destruction is the voice acting, and even that isn't necessarily Oscar-worthy. Another thing I can appreciate through the absolute intolerable shambles that it is, is the work that went into this. Honestly, I love anime that are awful in quality, but you can tell that the creator really had a good go. For example, a bit of a favourite of mine is the infamous 2006 Adobe Flash anime Hanoka. Like, someone put a good amount of time into that, and most likely Mars of Destruction, too. However, Hanoka is nostalgia-filled, and, despite being the jankiest piece of media that will ever exist, is loved by a good...couple???...of people. Mars of Destruction is an absolute wreck that really deserved better. Again, I say, justice for Yamabuki Unno! Put her in a different anime, someone, because there is no way I am watching Mars of Destruction ever again. Unless I get, like, kidnapped and forced to, or something. I reccommend. If you're into 1/10, substanceless schlock, that is.

One thing you should know about me before writing this review- I am a big vocal synth fan, as may be expected, as a lot of manga/anime fans are, I've found. My favourite of all time is Hatsune Miku, the main mascot of Crypton, one of the main contributors to the vocal synth community, and she's a cultural icon at this point. I'm even going to Miku Expo London in October of this year and I believe she's the most prominent character out of all of my merch collections. I've been a fan for about 3 years, for reference. So, after a bit of background ... on me, it's time for the review.

Maker Hikoushiki Hatsune Mix, or Unofficial Hatsune Mix, as it's called in Western countries, is a collection of, well, collections, of short stories that were originally released very early on in Miku's reign, throughought 2007 and 2008. They were drawn and written by KEI, who is definetly the most influential artist in the vocal synth community, being the creator of the at this point, iconic official PNGs for the Cryptonloids. The stories follow the Cryptonloids going through their daily lives and just general silly antics. My general opinion on the collection is quite mixed for several reasons, so let's start with the pros and why you should give it a try.

• Some of the pages in the book are made up of these gorgeous official arts that come up after each collection of stories. They're in full colour, and, in my opinion, really show the best of KEI's iconic late-2000s artstyle, with at least one of them depicting each of the Cryptonloids. If you wanted to, you could cut them out of the book and make some amazing posters out of them, because, believe me, most, if not all of KEI's serious pieces are absolutely gorgeous.
• The stories absolutely get across the different universes that can be created with the help of vocal synths. Not being limited to a singular universe where the characters have a certain age or personality type is a really interesting feature of this collection that I absolutely love. It's an absolute haven for anyone who happens to be a Cryptonloid multishipper, and is an absolute beast at proving those 'Miku is 16, you know!' and 'That can't be ___, they act/look different!' TikTok people wrong to a point.
• My favourite stories were Working Mix, Chibi Mix, Celebrity Mix, Matsuri Mix, Sports Day Mix, Miko Mix, and the really interestingly illustrated extra story, Miku Goes To Sega, which uses real pictures of buildings and gameplay as essentially a cutely illustrated ad for the at-the-time upcoming Project Diva Arcade, which, by the way, and partly due to this side story, I'd love to play someday.
• I loved the cameos of other characters like Gakupo, Neru, and Haku! Gakupo and Haku were probably my favourite characters in the entire collection when they appeared. I also found it quite funny that they couldn't be named, Gakupo DEFINETLY due to copyright and all that (his voice being provided by GACKT and all), and the others probably for a similar reason.

Well, those are the main points I enjoyed with Unofficial Hatsune Mix. Now let's move onto the cons...or rather, the singular con.
• For a lighthearted comedy series, there are some very questionable themes that might leave some readers feeling kind of, a little bit, creeped out. Obviously the stories are supposed to be bizarre and out of context, but there were two running 'gags' that I found to be a bit...wrong??? One of these was the weirdly persistent theme of KAITO being absolutely DECIMATED by pretty much all of the others characters. Like, full on abused. Yes, in the silly Vocaloid manga. He's stupid, and so he gets beaten up in every story he's featured in, I think. Obviously there's nothing wrong with dark humour, but I don't like the way that it's presented as just something to be laughed at. Haha, man gets violently beat by woman. The collection itself is pretty funny, don't get me wrong. I just found KAITO's whole gag a bit odd, and leaning towards a bad kind of odd.
The other theme I wanted to touch on was Miku's constant desperation throughout the separate realities to be/look more mature. Obviously, she's presented as a 16-year-old almost all of the time, and wanting to look more 'appealing' or adult-like is, like, the most normal thing ever for that age. But I feel like it's pushed to a bit of a creepy level, especially as this whole aspect of her character is devoted entirely to her wanting a more adult-like physique. This personality trait as a whole is never presented well in manga/anime, and Unofficial Hatsune Mix is no different.
So, that's my read-at-your-own-risk list. Now, for my general opinion.

I think, if you're a vocal synth (especially Cryptonloid) fan, you should take the time to read Unofficial Hatsune Mix. Most of it is cute, it's got a generally nice artstyle, and there's plenty of silly moments that are worth the read. It is on the pricier side, but there's plenty of stories to get through, and if you read manga more casually, like I generally do, then you'll be on it for a couple of days (I'm pretty sure it took me 2 days to finish???). If you want to get into Vocaloid and this is your first opportunity, I would tell you to read it, as well. But, if you know nothing about Vocaloid and have no interest in it, definetly skip it. It's not the best manga in the world- I'd rank it at around mid on a tierlist- but it's fun to pick up every once in a while and flick through. I hope my little review helped you decide or gave you some insight, and look out for my other stuff in the future. Thanks for reading! [○_○]
~ Pheonix