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i am in shambles. i am in pain. the characters in this show are so easy to relate to because of their humanity and their desire to feel connection. i cried, i laughed, i cringed; n.h.k. no youkoso is the story of how social rejects manage to find the will to keep on living through their friendship and the love they have to each other. the author of this story chooses to display this 'found-family' trope in a way that shows that life isn't all rainbows and sunshines, but it is still worth living. things won't always be perfect, and most of the time we ... as people will feel like we're completely alone in this world. pain and suffering are inevitable. yet, we have to keep on pushing on until one day we can look back and realize we have managed to survive this horrendous world we live in. the main character, satou, decides to blame all the bad things we cannot control on the n.h.k, a made-up 'evil organization' that we have to continue to fight against regardless of where in life we are. we cannot let them win, and we do that by living our lives in the best way we can. but what does living life even mean? being able to connect with others, reaching out and building relationships, that's what life is about. as long as we all live together, it doesn't really matter what 'evil organizations' like the n.h.k. throw at us, because as long as we have each other then we'll be fine.

my only criticism, though, is that mizaki is a manic pixie dream girl and i would've liked it if her character had more to it than just its tragic past.

This review contains spoilers.

More than an anime, ‘Monster’ is a story about morality and how human nature expresses the ambiguity of our actions. The main characters, Dr. Kenzo Tenma and Johan Liebert, represent the scope of good and evil, adding nuance into what makes someone a good or bad person.

Dr. Tenma, the hero and protagonist of ‘Monster’, is an altruistic being that finds goodness in people regardless of their past actions; his decision to become a doctor and save countless patients is only a small reflection of his views on redemption. One of the most sincere characters I’ve ever come across, Dr. Tenma remembers ... the audience of ‘Monster’ of the simple pleasures of life, and how these help us live one day at a time; even when his fiancee Eva Heinemann tosses the sandwiches he made for their picnic, he picks them up anyway as he smiles sadly at her. Tenma doesn’t resent her, he doesn’t even show anger, because he understands that people’s actions can all be understood with a little patience and understanding.

Johan, on the other hand, is the opposite of Tenma; he is often defined as the characterization of nihilism. Cruel, vile, emotionless, these are words used to describe his actions throughout the story. Johan is known as the ‘monster’ of the story; he is a product of his upbringing, a product of humanity’s monstrous characteristics stripped down to their bare essentials. He reflects what, as they call it in the show, ‘bringing out the monster inside’ does to people. Johan’s mindgames go beyond his desire to bring pain and suffering to the world. “The only thing people are equal in is death” (ep. 73): one of the show’s most iconic lines, Johan demonstrates his character’s essential features when he says this; inequality, pain, and suffering are things that haunt the world, and people are bound to experience them regardless of who they are. Johan sees life as a game against fate, and that’s why he doesn’t fear anything, not even death. His intelligence combined with his nihilist personality have turned Johan into the heartless character we see in the show, and it isn’t until the end that Johan is reminded of his humanity and the point of his existence.

One could say Nina didn’t turn out like Johan because of the love she received from her foster parents, the Fortners; they taught her that there is more to life than death, and that we are responsible for making life worthwhile. Similarly, even though he was unable to feel emotions until his death in episode 72, Grimmer is an example of how Johan could have turned out had he not experienced one of his two life-changing situations. Because he only experienced the horrifying stories of 511 Kinderheim, Grimmer was able to continue living his life without knowing how to be human. The monster in him was never fully awakened, because he still saw the point of life even without being able to feel anything. Both Nina and Grimmer only lived through the two things Johan went through, and as the series tells us at the end of the show, it was these two successive events that made the monster in Johan come out.

The revelation that both Nina and Johan were named by their mother destroys the justification for Johan’s wrongdoings. Throughout the show, we are told that the stripping of someone’s identity removes them of their basic humanity and dignity, turning these people into moldable puppets. This is seen through characters like Roberto, Grimmer, and Christof, all products of Bonaparta’s experiments in Prague and East Germany. A person’s humanity is destroyed when you take away everything from them, not only material possessions but also the control they hold over their identity and individuality. Once a person is removed of who they are, they become figures that can’t tell bad from good. Johan’s monster was reinforced during his life in 511 Kinderheim; the harsh upbringing he had to face due to his mother’s forced relationship to Bonaparta were the catalyst for Johan’s distrust in human nature and the lengths of morality. Johan’s nihilism is a product of him being stripped away from any form of love; from his mother to his sister to the people in 511 Kinderheim, Johan sees no point in living since he himself has never experienced love. Not only is he stripped of his humanity, he is also forced to experience the cruelty the world possesses.

One could even say that Johan’s nihilism is justified after all of these things are revealed. But this is not what this story is trying to prove. On the contrary, ‘Monster’ shows its viewers how people can lose themselves and willingly become monsters, but they can always be saved when shown any degree of human decency and connection. People should be held accountable for what they have done, regardless of what led them to make those decisions. However, like Tenma, we should also offer redemption to people, and show them that there is more to life than cruelty and suffering. If we all decided to sit down and have a delicious meal with each other, then maybe we could understand our differences and be able to grow from there.

‘Monster’ is a complex story on the meaning of life, ethics, and how children play a role in the development of these two aspects. I could continue to discuss the series’ themes, delving into other characters and the development of subplots, but I will quote something said by Detective Lunge at the end of the show: “How much can people convey to others in just a lifetime?”

I will be thinking of ‘Monster’ for a long time, trying to find who the real monster of this story is, and if that term is truly justified for any of the characters in the show. For now, though, I will let this show bring me joy; I will let it remind me of the importance of life, love, and the meaningfulness of human connections.

Most people might see this show as a cop-and-robbers story, with a good guy and a bad guy that will interact until one of them is caught (as seen in series with similar plots, like Death Note, Code Geass, and so on). It isn’t until the story is fully established that the nuance of every single character is explained, and that the viewer understands that people are neither good nor evil, they are just humans trying to live with what they have been given.

serial experiment lain is short, 13 episodes, but it took me three days to finish bc it was so much. the opening is one of my favorite openings ever, i added the song to my june playlist lmao.

this anime, considered to be one of the best ever created, was so fucking difficult to watch not only bc the story only gets an explanation at the end but also because it’s so existential and dreadful that i just couldn’t sit through more than three episodes without feeling like i was gonna break down (in a good way). the story is about a little girl called ... lain that delves into the “wired” (other word for internet), and that leads her to question her identity, the legitimacy of her existence and of others, the role of memory in human existence, and her place in the world. the ending is extremely bittersweet, with sacrifices having to be done in order to bring peace to people.

i think this is an anime i’m gonna have to watch again in the future, because i feel like it’s one of those stories that gets better the more times you watch/read/listen to it. at times, it gave me neon genesis evangelion vibes but with a more mature approach to the question of humanity and existence. i also think it’s amazing that this anime managed to question digital identities and their morality at a time before google even existed. really feels like it’s a premonition of what’s going to happen in the future if security breaches aren’t fixed.

the animation is some of the best i’ve ever seen, as well as the music composition and character design. even if you just wanna watch it for aesthetic purposes, this anime is def worth it. but, if you wanna watch it for the plot as well, be careful of how quickly you take in the plot; the ending is so bittersweet that it’ll leave you conflicted over the whole story.

anyway i give this anime a 9/10 and i rly rly recommend it, but remember to be careful with how you watch it.

nana is a 2006 anime that’s set in tokyo in 2001, and it’s about two girls called nana that move to tokyo to fulfill their dreams. (emo) nana wants to become a famous musician and (girly) nana wants to be with her bf and become his wife. they fatefully meet in a train, and they become best friends/soulmates as soon as they become roommates in the tokyo suburbs. it’s filled with drama, love, and character depth, and it’s refreshing because the show also focuses on the beauty of friendships instead of following the romance trope every anime has.

now, for my opinion on it. the ... first 30 episodes or so are magnificent, immaculate, wonderful. they’re so full of depth and emotion, and honestly it’s easy to relate to the characters because they’re struggling to become young adults (like me!) but it’s not done in a cringey way. HOWEVER! after episode like 32 or 33 i don’t remember, the author of the story decided it would be cool to completely butcher hachi’s (girly nana) story.

all of the character depth and maturity just left the show, as the characters just stopped communicating with each other and just kept on fighting and arguing. it’s stupid to think that these independent 20 year old women would behave like children while handling their emotions, and the author would be okay with leaving things up in the air! honestly the story should have ended when hachi broke up with takumi, because the last 10 episodes or so are unnecessarily dramatic and annoying. it got to a point (ep 32-40) where i was so annoyed with all of the characters and how stupid they were acting that i genuinely felt like punching someone.

tldr; nana (2006), pretty good if you watch until ep 32. until then i give it a 9/10. but bc of the shit that happens in the second half of the show i reduce my rating to an 8/10.