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Kaze no Stigma is the perfect example of what happens when a show plays it as safe as possible and follows the formula to the letter. It will be deemed boring and be forgotten very fast. Nothing in this anime compels you to keep watching as you have already watched everything in it already a hundred times in other shows, with far more exciting presentation and characters.

The story is as typical as stories of this type can get. “Supernatural girl unwillingly teams up with supernatural boy and go to fight baddies while having a growing attraction for each other” is all you need to know ... about it. All that about families with special control over the elements is just a blunt backdrop story that hardly feels mystical or even thrilling looking to pay attention to for long. Can you believe the same premise can be found more captivating in a silly show like Naruto? Anyways, aside from being identical to a hundred other shows, there also aren’t any plot twists or anything to surprise you about it in general. It plays out so dull you are watching it with apathy.

A good thing about it is that it brings closure in the end instead of NOT bringing closure like most anime do. It is still a predictable outcome but it is better than no outcome. I would normally score an average score of 5/10 for it, but then there is another problem. FILLERS! Lots of them, many of which are throw away fan service ones. And most missions don’t even seem to connect with one another even when they are supposed to be in the core story. So you basically get only the three first and the three last to have a meaningful plot. Which is in effect 1/4th of the total duration and for that I give it a 3/10.

The characters are basic when it comes to personalities but at least they are not following the usual mold when it comes to shounen. The hero is almost an anti-hero and the heroine can actually fight well despite being a girl in shounen. Other than that, their chemistry is nothing much to write home about; as usual they begin as unwilling allies and along the way they get to like each other more and more. And yet you never get to see anything more past some platonic affection so it never gets spicy enough to bother paying attention to them.

Even past the expected development they get as characters, you still find it hard to like them, since they are otherwise quite blunt. Kazuma has nothing more going about his personality, other than playing it uncaring and avenging, and Ayano is basically a red-haired tsundere with a flaming sword, which passes as a less interesting Shana clone for not being voiced by Rie Kugimiya. All the other characters don’t even manage to be regarded as anything more than one dimensional allies and bad guys, with zero characterization. And seriously, Kazuma’s sibling is a boy??? Whatever, this is a show that bases all its appeal on the lead duo and does very little to feel any better than whatever else you can find out there. I would again normally score a 5 here since they do develop expectably, but then you have a big cast of cardboards surrounding the main duo, so they feel like lots of wasted material and I lower it to 4.

The production values are ok for the time the show was made, although they never manage to get into awesome levels for lacking aesthetic appeal. For example, the elemental families are supposed to be centuries old and delved deep into tradition and mysticism yet you hardly feel anything mystical emanating from the whole setting. The use of superpowers in battle is also basic to the most part and despite there being 4 elements, after awhile they all play out the exact same way and it only matters who has the bigger energy beam. The use of special effects also feels dull, as most look like nothing more than monochromatic computer generated overlays. The several scenes of fan service also don’t offer any more excitement to the table, since they are all very basic and softcore. I also didn’t like the overuse of deformity every time they try to make Ayano look funny when she is angry. It looks cheap, not funny, and of a style one would normally encounter a decade ago. I give the artwork a 7.

The music part left me with complete apathy; neither the songs nor the voice acting were anything special. I leave it at 6.

Value and Enjoyment are rock bottom for all the reasons I stated above. This show has nothing to offer to a veteran viewer and barely tries to be anything more than a goofy, average, tired, watch-once-and-throw-away anime with simplistic characters, loose plot, dull fan service and battles, and predictable outcomes. Not recommended at all.

Review up to episode 77. Will edit as I watch more.

PROPER MENTALITY
This is the remake of a cult shonen show from 1999, which still remains as a top favourite for thousands of people who followed it through the years. It was taken out of the spotlight as soon as Naruto and Bleach came around because its merits were always hinted, the artwork was very weak (manga included), and the story was left incomplete. But for many it is still a much superior show for its kind, since it is not direct in its themes and definitely not one of the same shonen stuff. Let’s start ... by clarifying some things regarding remakes.

1. Why make a remake instead of continuing the story from where it stopped in the OVAs?
Most of the younger viewers will not dare to watch the original, because of the abysmal difference in the animation quality. Instead of making a dozen episodes that will AGAIN end in the middle of nowhere and be about characters most won’t know or care for after all these years, they (wisely) decided to reboot it and give the mangaka time to continue and (hopefully) end the story by the time the anime catches up to it. Nothing bad here.

2. The new animation is worse because it is brighter and cheerier, and looks less serious.
This is a plain case of personal taste. Back in 1999 the colouring was still done by hand and for that the colours were darker and the outlines rougher by default. What did people expect, to be hand-drawn dark, depressive, and edgy in our age and time? It is kinda logical that it will be drawn and coloured with computers, which means the result we have today. If you prefer the retro style, then there is nothing that can be done about it. The only problem I found is how they censored a few really gory scenes but that is all. It is otherwise animated by Studio Madhouse which is the king when it comes to tv shows and definitely has a far bigger budget and experience that the previous one, Nippon Animation. I have no problem with their work and I view it in the same way I view the remake of Full Metal Alchemist. If you prefer a brighter coloured version, with a bit more cheerful people, and a lot more faithful adaptation, then you will like it more than the older version. If not, ok, you won’t, you can’t please everybody.

3. The story is worse because it removes a lot of scenes which were important in flavouring the characters of the original.
The pacing of the original story was even for its time very slow to the most part and had lots of fillers. It was completely unimpressive for the impatient audience; me included as I was bored with it halfway. So just imagine what would have happened if they had kept every single scene in it. Viewers today are getting fed up far easier than a decade ago and thus the story would actually feel worse. As for the drier feeling of the characters because the scenes are removed and the pacing goes too fast to get to feel their motivation, I must protest. It’s a 100+ episode show, it has plenty of time to flesh out its characters along the way instead of doing it right away and not leaving anything for later. This is one of the reasons even a bigshot like One Piece loses its charm as it goes on. As for all the secondary characters who feel completely forgettable this way, HEY THEY ARE ONE EPISODE CHARACTERS! I kept reading how Gon’s aunt and the captain of the ship were far more realistic and interesting in the older version. Oh that is so nice; and then the episode ends and you never see them again. So do you think it would be wise in our days to spend entire episodes in fleshing out one-time characters? I think not; only the major ones are important and only they deserve to be fleshed out along the way. Unless of course you are fans of that travesty of characterization you encounter in shows such as Naruto and Bleach.

SCRIPT
I was not thrilled when I found out the director of the show would be Koujina Hiroshi. He has a lukewarm roster (Grenadier, Kiba, Nougami Neuro, Rainbow) and for a show so famous they could definitely have found someone with more interesting titles and experience to handle things. You can easily find many sloppy scenes and I can only blame the director for that. But it’s not like I hate it either; I just found it not as professional as it deserved.

The basic story is simple in overall, and trust me when I say it will not improve much. It never feels too epic and blood boiling. This does not make the show boring but rather unimpressive for those who expect major fights and complexity.
- The first arc (episodes 1 to 20) is about the adventure of the main heroes, as they try to pass a dangerous line of challenges in order to be given the title of Hunter, someone who can do all sorts of dangerous professions and is considered an elite agent. Each one of them wants to be a Hunter for different reasons; one is looking for his father, another to protect the world from threats, and a third just to get rich. Very basic stuff and eventually full of needless bull. You will facepalm at how pointless most of these challenges are after you realize that they do not reward skill but rather survival. That means, it’s fine as long as you can stay alive long enough (and preferably using Nen powers). Since the heroes have the typical uncanny shounen durability of withstanding everything, they mostly breeze through the challenges, while everybody else is thrown out with a few punches. Some of the situations will be rather interesting but in all, this arc serves mostly as introduction to the characters than anything else.
Score: 7/10
- The second arc (episodes 21 to 25) is about one of the heroes being mistreated by his family and the rest going for a house visit. Being the dangerous place it is, they need to cross a line of dangerous challenges until they manage to find him. So yes, all they want is to see their friend again and so risk their lives numerous times just for that. Not exactly exciting, is it? It is less exciting when you realize that they barely fight anyone important in that place before their friend is allowed to go see them. A very short arc where they have a hard time getting through the main gate and the butlers, and then it is all over. This arc serves to flesh out one of the characters and even that not by much.
Score: 6/10
- The third arc (episodes 26 to 36) is about the heroes taking part in a fighting tournament (yeah, here we go again) as means to improve their fighting skills. Get ready for boring long training sessions as well as practical applications during duels. It sure makes the whole Hunter exam to feel like it was there for kicks. I mean, if a Hunter is supposed to be an elite agent, anyone who hopes to pass should already be someone with lots of experience. But no, turns out that it was just rewarding survival and every person who passes needs to become strong AFTER he is nominated as an elite agent. Weird huh? Feels like the story escalates in reverse, instead of getting more epic along the way? Trust me, it gets worse later. In the meantime, this is the part they introduce Nen, which is this show’s version of ki/reiatsu/chakra/power level/whatever. Unlike most versions where it is used as a single statistic through elements or volume, over here it is seen as four different aspects of the same principle (defence, attack, cancel, and willpower). This makes it feel somewhat more variant than simply say “My icicle attack is powerful but your weak flame shield blocks it” kind of Pokemon-style battles. They also introduce the six character classes to further make the whole thing feel like a videogame. This arc serves to establish superpowers based on a person’s characterization, and has a few interesting fights. Half the time though it’s just a long preachy training session.
Score: 7/10
- The fourth arc (episodes 37 to 58) is about an underground auction where Gon tries to raise money in order to find his father by… arm-wresting. Isn’t it weird how we went from fighting in a tournament to that? Anyways, it is actually more about his pal Kurapika getting all crazy and hunting a bunch of super killers who wiped out his family (this is something Kishimoto stole in Naruto with Sakuke and his Uchiha clan). It is by far the most brutal arc yet and has some extremely well done battles in it. It fleshes out Kurapika and several secondary characters considerably, and is very suspenseful.
Score: 9/10
- The fifth arc (episodes 59 to 75) is about the characters hunting cards inside a videogame that can kill them. And yes, you are free to make all the Sword Art Online and Yugioh jokes you like, because the story downgraded further from arm-wrestling to playing videogames. It is rather disappointing after the amazing previous arc, since it now feels like the whole show was sort of a prelude to promoting videogames to kids. I mean the Nen system is pretty much a basic RPG statistics screen and here is where it shows better than ever. Another disappointing element is how the surviving villains from the previous arc seem to just be in this one for kicks. The whole revenge thing is completely gone and they degraded to cartoony bad guys. Also the new villains of this arc simply lack charisma and are forgettable. Anyways, this whole arc is basically playing a bunch of deadly games and doing some really risky gambling here and there but nothing overall amazing.
Score: 7/10
- The sixth arc (currently airing) is about the characters hunting bugs. Yes, we moved from playing videogames to hunting bugs! Ok, actually these bugs are huge, powerful, and extremely deadly. And I mean that; they kill half of the secondary characters of this show. There is a lot of death and violence in this arc but again the villains lack charisma. Furthermore, it feels like the whole thing is ideas stolen from Dragonball, as the king of the bugs is a Cell imitation and his minions behave like those of King Picolo.
Score: 8/10

Do yourselves a favour and never expect much out of the plot. All the objectives are weak and there only as plot devises; and even those are presented poorly. Kurapika’s goal is forgotten, Leorio never has a purpose in the whole series, and Gon’s father is a total troll. I mean, really, he keeps giving missions to his son from afar with the promise of finding him but he keeps fooling him to keep looking. Yes, it is an excuse for Gon to continue becoming stronger but it is still one big troll.

CAST
Try to focus on the character traits, the main attraction of the series, as well as how each one uses his special skills to overcome a challenge. And by skills don’t try to imagine fire breathing, creating copies of yourself, or flying. The powers in the show are far more basic and down to earth that that, such as heightened senses, use of psychology, and detective deduction procedure. The main hero for example uses a fishing rod as his main weapon. Sounds silly but he does all sorts of sneaky attacks with it by trying to outsmart the enemy with a lure and then hook him when he doesn’t expect it. So unlike most shonens, it is not mostly about raw power and delinquents blowing up mountains with their glowing aura, but brains and strategy. The ways they find to overcome a challenge are tactical and cunning.

Of course for the same reason it is far from cool. Since the average shonen fan would expect amazing action, all this talking, plotting, and back stabbing will surely feel dull and will make many to be bored fast if they only want action. Those who manage to focus on the tactical part though will find it to be a far more elaborate and mature specimen than your silly average action show.
- It is not about dumb teenagers with superpowers kicking the crap out of each other.
- It is never trying to impress you with pseudo-romance, fan service, or poser special attacks.
- It seems to have the usual theme of trust and teamwork all shounens share and up to a point they indeed overcome most challenges based on that. At the same time though, each character is far more selfish that those in similar shows and thus it is quite easy to get mad with something and leave the team to go seek some crazy thing on his own. Thus you get far more unstable heroes, who don’t always blindly follow the group leader.
- At the same time the villains are not generic evil dudes who hate everything and plot amongst each other. You see they care and are willing to risk their lives to help their comrades.
- It is also one of the very few rare cases where there isn’t a single girl following the dudes around just for the heck of it. It’s only the males doing all the work as always, so who needs those useless token chicks that exist only for kiddie romances and fan service? To hell with them, this is a man’s world. Imagine how cool it is in the second arc where they plan to save a strong boy who has killed dozens of people without feeling a thing instead of some frail damsel in distress who always nags and cries. Or in the fourth where you literally have a female agent who dies without even making use of her powers. That stuff are one of a kind.

It is true though that its merits are hard to spot, since it is subtle with the presentation. The violence is quite childish in the first two arcs and the mental breakdowns of the characters are done in a very light manner when they would easily be far cooler if they were looking crazier. The characters also follow the typical shonen silliness of yelling each others’ names all the time, even in situations where they don’t need to, as if they don’t want the audience to forget how they are called. They also do that annoying thing of explaining their strategies to the enemy, as if the audience is too dumb to get it. It is very commonplace as an exposition method in shonen but it still feels dumb to see it happening. Internal monologues or a narrator would feel much more natural than this mess. The faster pace also makes the duration of a dramatic event to last too little for you to find the time to get into the proper mood, and thus its gravity goes unnoticed by most. This is again something I can only blame the director for, as others could have done much more vivid work with what they had.

Another indirect problem which prevents the show from becoming a smash hit is that it doesn’t have a gazillion immortal characters and most mysteries are answered rather fast. Unlike the so called Big Three of shonen, there is very little to talk about what may happen in the future or how the characters may develop later on, or even to have a huge variety of archetypes to choose your favourite from. That sort of crap are what made the Big Three so damn famous, even if in all honesty they are just shallow excuses for hyping caricatures that eventually don’t develop or have any important role in the show in general. HxH doesn’t go for that bait; it has a rather small cast and several of the characters die soon after they are introduced. It is what again makes it feel superior as it is not trying to cater everybody’s tastes and never promises things it will never deliver a decade later.

LEGACY
It is a very good shonen and I recommend it. It is by all means not a serious or complicating story, as it is just some youths trying to win in tournaments and play videogames. Each character is basically a bold stereotype (the idealist, the materialist, the kind one, etc) yet the way they interact is both smart and doesn’t drag the most basic actions for 10 episodes.

Furthermore it is interesting to see how many of its ideas were later on copied by Naruto, so in a way it partially deserves the credit THAT silly ninja show got, which otherwise has nothing to do with ninjas and went under when it was all about Gaysuke. And anyways, all modern shonen are now all shit, One Piece included (animation is a joke and pacing is a snail). It is a great way for younger anime fans to see how more mature a decade old shonen was and how shitty all recent ones are (I am looking at you trollish Bleach, babish Fairy Tail, borish Ao no Exorcist, pissish Beelzebub, aimleish Toriko, coocooish Hitman Reborn, haremish Index, as well as all the rest of you). It is also a proper remake and not a lulz DBKai dried up re-airing with lesser context and incomplete story.

Despite my positive words about it, I must clarify that it is not a masterpiece. It is supposed to be for kids and has lots of childish violence even when it involves mass deaths of people, both benevolent and innocent (it’s not just generic evil henchmen that die). Hundreds of people are constantly dying in cartoony yet still horrible ways; it looks weird. Thus most situations feel too silly no matter how dangerous they appear to be and that takes out a lot out of the suspense the anime COULD have if it was more graphical in its violence. But it’s not like it is holding back a lot either, since each arc get progressively more mature and violent than the previous ones.

And now for some excused scorings.
ART SECTION: 8/10
General Artwork 2/2 (good production values)
Character Figures 2/2 (distinctive)
Backgrounds 2/2 (fitting with the feeling of the series)
Animation 1/2 (basic)
Visual Effects 1/2 (basic)

SOUND SECTION: 7/10
Voice Acting 2/3 (corny but fitting with the feeling of the series)
Music Themes 3/4 (not great but fitting with the feeling of the series)
Sound Effects 2/3 (ok I guess)

STORY SECTION: 6/10
Premise 1/2 (typical)
Pacing 2/2 (generally fast, without fillers)
Complexity 1/2 (feels complicated at points but plays out simple)
Plausibility 1/2 (so-so)
Conclusion 1/2 (cheesy)

CHARACTER SECTION: 7/10
Presence 2/2 (cool/weird)
Personality 2/2 (weird but well founded)
Backdrop 1/2 (generic and simplistic but it’s there)
Development 1/2 (overblown but it’s there)
Catharsis 1/2 (overblown but it’s there)

VALUE SECTION: 9/10
Historical Value 3/3 (classic)
Rewatchability 2/3 (high, with some boring parts skipped entirely)
Memorability 4/4 (unique to the point of forever remembering it)

ENJOYMENT SECTION: 6/10
Art 1/1 (looks neat)
Sound 1/2 (sounds ok)
Story 1/3 (feels generic)
Characters 3/4 (they are good for their roles)

VERDICT: 7/10

Notice: This review covers both seasons. They are part of the same story so they don’t need separate reviews.

Fate/Zero is the adaptation of the prequel light novel to the all famous Fate/Stay Night visual novel. And no, it is not the prequel of the homonymous anime, nor do you need to watch that first in order to understand what is going on in the story. The storyline there was mixed up in a way that is different from the game.

I have very little to say about the story, since in all honesty there isn’t much of a plot to talk about. The first season was ... about getting to know the characters and see them sparring, the second about seeing them killing each other. There is nothing more in-between those two facts, unless you count as plot endless well-written dialogues and technobabble around in-show terminology that is not contributing in any way to the story.

The premise is about seven people with seven spirit heroes fighting each other and the winner will get his wish granted. Yup, the death tournament routine, it ain’t much and if you are aware of the events in the older show you already know it won’t be about getting the Holy Grail at all. It is more about the character interactions and their chemistry; what does one mean to the other, how do they think and act, where did all their sadness came from. Meaning, the actual story was not good before and it is not good now; it is all about the characters.

It must also be made clear that this is not a heavy on action show. This is not a shounen fighting tournament but a heavy on dialogue seinen. The battles are more about the mentality of the cast and getting to know each other’s tricks, rather than going all out to kill or be killed. If you expect awesome battles you won’t get many, and for those that are indeed cool, they will feel like an eternity for being stretched out with long dialogues during the battles and unimpressive for ending by simply releasing ulti attacks on each other. Some of them will even be resolved out of screen.

It’s not like the talking is bad though; it is very well written to the most part and half the characters are fleshed out well; in just a few episodes I feel like I already know them well. I wouldn’t say many develop though; aside from Emiya and a bit for Saber all the rest are just there and as soon as you learn all there is about them in the first season, what follows in the second is them… dying. Furthermore only half of them were given enough time to become likable, as the other half were thrown to the side and were treaded as minor support despite being presented as very important at first. Several of them are neglected and never manage to make a strong impression on you. Assassin and Kariya are two striking examples; not to mention the whole rivalry between Emiya and Kirei.

I found the whole stalling thing of the first season to be a cheap trick, as constantly and deliberately someone interrupts a duel and macho talks the rest of the duration as means to prolong the so called war. In theory most could have easily stay hidden and let everybody else kill each other before jumping in to finish the tired and wounded survivors. This does not happen thanks to the convenient excuse of “We don’t know what hidden powers the others may have so we just stare at each other waiting for something to happen.” Although in theory that is correct, it still tends to prolong things too much. At the same time it allows the show to invest enough time on fleshing out each character instead of just killing them right away and not making you care about them.

So in case everybody wasn’t so overprotective, the show would have ended in a few episodes. In the first battle for example most Servants and Masters gather in one spot ready to gut each other but Rider was constantly trying to make them his allies, so he didn’t allow anyone to die. Even when nobody agreed to that, they still only looked at each other, exchanged some threats, and called it a day, even when half of them were ambushed and at the scope of snipers. They couldn’t fight to the death yet you see; they needed 26 episodes of material to fill first. They wouldn’t be interesting if they had all died in a few episodes, right? Well thank you very much, this is a very meta-explanation which only translates to The Rule of Cool. That means, it is just brainless entertainment and hardly the “amazing story and characters” every fan of the source material goes crazy about for over a decade.

The above issue feels bad even in terms of directing and storytelling, since what practically happens in each battle scene is the writer gathering over a dozen people in the same place, at the same time. You get the impression only two of them are talking or sparring, while the rest just stand frozen as spectators, until they jump in to stop the spar and macho talk. It feels like very bad handling of the characters, as it’s as if they are nothing more that plot devises and not plausible personalities with free will. Action and suspense are basically sucker-punching. Something is about to happen but it is stomped by something else, with each character (as well as the viewer) being completely autistic and oblivious to the other 10 people being around them. It is one thing to have a couple of characters mostly talking than fighting, and a whole other to have a dozen taking turns to say their punch-line or stopping a duel that would otherwise suit them just fine not to, while in the meantime waiting patiently for their turn. What is this, a turn-based videogame? I could also complain about their constant boasting and showing off; they otherwise retreat when things look bad. If they weren’t wasting so much time in talking and gloating this wouldn’t be a problem.

But I otherwise fully understand how flavour-wise all this blah-blahing/macho talking is what makes the characters sympathetic to the viewer and slows down the pacing, builds up tension, and stretches the story to last as much as the producers feel like it. It is not practical, it is not realistic, and this is otherwise not a show that cares about all that and mostly aims to impress you with the characters and the setting and NOT the battle tactics or the overall plot. Thus there is no problem throwing in even some loli fan service fillers, such as a pointless episode with little Rin. Or a completely far fetched dogfight between magical airplanes.

The production values are otherwise very good in detail, colouring, and special effects. The cinematics are captivating and yes, Ufotable is eons ahead of that piece of shit Studio DEEN. I fancy the work they did although I don’t consider the soundtrack to be memorable and the animation is not that fluid.

So in all, it looks like a fine show to watch. The characters are very interesting and since Saber’s master is no longer your average teenage wimp like in F/SN, is all you need to like the prequel even more. It’s just that this is not a show for the impatient viewer or the action lover; the pacing is slow and most of it is dialogues and character flavouring. If you like the slow build up and don’t mind how stupid everybody acts in an otherwise death tournament, you will definitely be impressed with the whole thing. It is otherwise like a series-long moody music video like those shitty Bee Train shows where nothing of importance happens, yet you are just mesmerized with the pretty lights and sounds. Your call if you like that. If it mean anything, it is the best anime to date in the subcategory of action/fantasy/mystery in a modern setting.

As for all those nasuverse fanboys & fangirls out there, let me make it clear that I have no doubt the philosophy of the novels is very complicating and intriguing. My negativity is mostly about plot and the pacing, which are the second most important aspect to get to like a series. The Book of Bantora and Shakugan no Shana also have fancy terminology and a weird world image yet the shows themselves are crap because they did little to nothing in terms of proper directing. Sorry to disappoint you Urobuchi fans, he is a good writer but not a good storyteller. Furthermore Ufotable removed many important scenes from his books and further simplified the already messy plot.

And now for some impressions regarding the characters. Do not read if you are haven’t watched the show.
THE HEROIC SPIRITS

Saber: After you recover by the craziness of seeing King Arthur being a woman, she will be presented as the least capable in battle, as she is constantly losing no matter whom she fights. If it wasn’t for the cheap stalling trick, she would be dead ten times in a row. But, hey, she is the mascot of this show and is constantly saved at the last moment, plus she has a really hax ulti attack that can beat everyone with one strike as means to have a cop-out good ending. I liked it when her shallow morality was completely trashed when Rider criticized her way of thinking. Oh, and because she is a visual novel character, her ulti recharges with semen… Only in Japan.

Lancer: He is constantly presented as the most ideal chivalrous hero of any cheesy Renaissance romance story but I found his honour to be nothing but croc. He will be constantly trying to be fair (no backstabs even when his enemy is flat footed) and that will only be resulting to the usual “I’m letting you live and retreat, so the story won’t end fast.” He even saves his opponent in one occasion just so he can duel him later. When he is finally trying to fight for real, he gets double crossed and that’s it for him. So much for playing fair in a death tournament you idiot. But anyways, the truth is that he wasn’t fair at all half the time and not because he was aware that he was cheating. This was purely bad handling of his character on-screen. There is a scene for example where he is ordered to kill someone. Instead of doing so, he disobeys orders, disarms him, and then gangs up on him with another warrior. And then he calls that playing fair…

“In the name of selfless chivalry, I let my first target escape because I wanted to gloat while seeing him defenceless instead of just killing him as my orders demanded it. Also, in the name of selfless chivalry I let my second target escape as well, because I wanted to help my master instead of spending a few seconds at following my orders by easily killing the weakened opponent who was barely able to walk away. I am so fair and honourable, let me gloat again selflessly.”

Rider: He sure doesn’t look like the pictures in the historic books… He is by far the sweetest servant despite his brute strength and is constantly trying to become an ally with his enemies instead of trying to dominate everything via force. This is his own excuse for not letting anyone die and stalling time. I liked his philosophy but he kept to it regardless of the repeated times everybody refused to ally with him to the point it became stupid. And guess what, he is eventually owned by someone who really DOES try to rule with sheer strength; so much for trying to be friendly. Funny fact: Ufotable deliberately aired the episode he dies at the same day his historical figure died millennia ago.

Archer: Basically, he was just an anti-Rider, having the same goals with him but from a cruel perspective. He was there to be the constant arrogant bastard that drinks wine and calls everybody his dog. Because he can. He was a cool dude with the most hax ulti attack but he was eventually no match for the plot-armour of the good guys. His greatest punishment is when he finds out whom he reincarnates to later on, hehe.

Caster: A psychopath who likes to torture and gut little kids; a role model to all serial killers. He also had a crush on another servant but this didn’t matter much plot-wise. Eventually he was defeated only because he wasn’t playing by the rules and everybody else ganged up on him for acting like a jerk. I was really disappointed at how they never showed us what he was doing while he was trapped inside Rider’s reality marble. That would really help in fleshing out his final battle.

Berserker: A completely undermined heroic spirit. He has no personality or goals for the most part and when he finally gets some towards the end, he gets defeated out of screen with an implied grudge at how he was very angry for not getting the woman he liked when he was mortal. LAME!

Assassin: By far the worst character in the whole show. He is supposed to use stealth and backstabs, yet all you see him doing the whole show is hiding while looking at people. That was supposed to be part of studying his enemies in order to find the best way to kill them fast. So what happens when he finally decides to attack? He just presents himself, gloats over having outnumbered his targets, and then gets owned easily by an ulti. THAT’S IT! For someone who was studying his enemies for all this time, not only he didn’t use stealth and backstab, not only he didn’t have any cool super attacks like all the rest do, but also died fast and miserably WITHOUT EVEN HAVING A PERSONALITY! I mean seriously, does anyone care about him? Does anyone know anything about him? Where is his machoness? How such a pathetic hero even joined the Holy War??? This sucks!

THE MASTERS

Emiya: Master of Saber and apparently the protagonist. Really? Up until the 2/3rds of the story he wasn’t even doing anything important and then WHAM I am the protagonist. Where did that come from? I never felt he was even a major character next to Rider and Saber. I was also told how the main conflict of the whole story was to show how his rivalry with Kirei began but COME ON the whole thing was completely underplayed. Anyone aware of the game knows they are mortal enemies but the way it was foreshadowed here just came out of nowhere. It’s like they magically knew they would be enemies in the future and simply hated each other, the end.

I also didn’t like how Emiya was using his special powers. I mean he can make time to move really slow and has bullets that can destroy someone’s magic powers yet he was fighting in a most ridiculous way just for the same of prolonging a battle that could have ended in a few seconds. So imagine that instead of just moving fast as light and stabbing his enemy a thousand times in one second, or firing a magic-destroyer bullet at him right away, he instead prefers to booby trap the whole place with traps that have no effect and to run around for hours while using his exhausting time magic to simply run away. Supposed he was trying to force his opponent into using all his protective magic against him and thus destroying all of his powers with one shot. Because, duh, weakening him to half his magic capabilities would still be impossible to kill him with a second shot or, I don’t know, RUNNING FASTER THAN LIGHT FOR A SECOND and stabbing him countless times wouldn’t work for some reason. And anyways, why was he even willing to waste so many hours playing cat and mouse when reinforcements are on their way to flank him? This was no battle to waste so much time; he should use all his power in a massive attack to kill his opponent and get the hell away from there. But it’s ok, since even after the reinforcements arrived he was allowed to escape because we still have a lot of episodes to fill somehow. Oh, right, and because he is the protagonist for some reason…

Later on he is the only character to receive two whole episodes dedicated to fleshing out his tragic past and how he turned out to be such a scheming bastard. Although he had a very interesting and dramatic background, I just couldn’t accept how fast it was told. It had enough events and context to fill 4 episodes instead of 2. As a result it felt rushed and furthermore forced. The way they presented his life as a paradise full of happy people before it all goes to hell five minutes later? Oh come on, how cornier can this get? But then again what is this whole show if not corny?

Finally, I never bought his whole way of thinking. He was all “the end justifies the means” but he only succeeded into being a jerk who never truly accomplished anything other than killing a lot of good people. He even gives up in the end after he realizes it was all for naught.

Kirei: Master of Assassin, the worst character in the whole show, and later of Archer as well, after he stole him from its original owner. A backstabbing asshole and for some reason the main villain of the show. He looks for happiness by betraying people and making others kill each other but other than that he has no really goals in life. That makes sense… He also gets defeated out of screen but magically survives only to be defeated again.

Irisviel: She is a whole bunch of things, such as an artificially created human, a human experiment, Emiya’s wife, the vessel of the Holly Grail, and someone who reads too much bad fan fiction. Jesus, the way she was talking and mocking her opponents felt like something out of Twilight. And the way she was always so worried and passive was making me want to choke her to death.

Archibald: Master of Lancer and a guy who would brag non-stop. After he is owned in battle his crazy bitch of a wife for some reason betrays him and steals his powers. This part is much underplayed since we never truly feel why she did that. Or why she was found and arrested so easily and he was still in love with her; talk about a wasted plot point. Instead, they give us ten minutes of Archibald reading this magic contract that is presented to be godly important yet means absolutely nothing five minutes later.

Ryonosuke: Master of Caster and equally sadistic. Probably the funniest character in the show despite never doing anything more than being someone Caster can talk to.

Waver: Master of Rider and basically your typical shounen dork. He was funny in the way he was constantly mocked and eventually befriended by Rider but overall a very minor character in the plot, since he was more of a lackey who never accomplished anything much.

Kariya: A very underplayed character. He was looking for a way to avenge what they did to him and his family but only ends up being a pathetic peon in the hands of scheming bastards. He has a very minor role in the whole show despite this interesting premise and even his end is anti-climactic.

Tokiomi: Master of Archer and almost like a stunt in the plot, he just mocked Kariya a bit before being backstabbed; the end.



And now for some excused scorings.
ART SECTION: 8/10
General Artwork 2/2 (looks great)
Character Figures 2/2 (cool-looking and memorable)
Backgrounds 1/2 (detailed but otherwise typical)
Animation 1/2 (basic)
Visual Effects 2/2 (great for a tv series)

SOUND SECTION: 9/10
Voice Acting 3/3 (corny machoness and prolonged dialogues but they are well-written)
Music Themes 3/4 (not great but fitting with the feeling of the series)
Sound Effects 3/3 (great for a tv series)

STORY SECTION: 5/10
Premise 1/2 (typical)
Pacing 1/2 (slow and deliberately prolonged)
Complexity 2/2 (interesting blend of various concepts, complicating terminology)
Plausibility 0/2 (too much convenience and messy scenes)
Conclusion 1/2 (cheesy)

CHARACTER SECTION: 7/10
Presence 2/2 (cool/strong)
Personality 2/2 (cheesy but well founded)
Backdrop 2/2 (a bit generic but definitely excuses their personalities being as such)
Development 0/2 (very little and even that is messy)
Catharsis 1/2 (overblown but it’s there)

VALUE SECTION: 9/10
Historical Value 3/3 (all-known)
Rewatchability 2/3 (high if you dig its style; many dialogues will be skipped though)
Memorability 4/4 (extremely well-made to the point of forever remembering it)

ENJOYMENT SECTION: 6/10
Art 1/1 (looks great)
Sound 2/2 (sounds great)
Story 0/3 (the main conflict is hardly interesting and full of convenience)
Characters 3/4 (they are ok but tend to act stupid at times)

VERDICT: 7.5/10

Review up to episode 11. Will edit it as I watch more.

Mirai Nikki is a supernatural mystery / horror / survival regarding an antisocial boy named Yukiteru (Yuki henceforth) receiving from his imaginary friend a magic cell phone that has a diary with all his future actions. Thus in effect he knows the future and can be prepared for anything. At first he adores how he knows all the answers in the tests at school, or how he can avoid meeting the school bullies since he knows where they will be waiting for him. Things get soon out of hand, when he realizes there are ... more people with similar diaries, and that his imaginary friend is not so imaginary after all. Deus Ex Machina (lol the imaginary friend is like an internet God) prepared an “interesting game” as he calls it and gathered a dozen cell phone owners to participate in a death game where there can be only one remaining alive in the end.

PLUSES

1) The premise is very interesting; you have a dozen people who must kill each other for a grand prize. It does not mean the outcome is foretold because they all know the future. Every time they change something, which was normally meant to happen, all their diaries are altering their entries to show the new outcome of each action after the change. Thus nobody actually knows who will survive or not; at best they are just prepared to change the future in case someone is ambushed by another player.

2) The diaries are NOT really predicting the future but rather mention the future impressions of their owners. So if the holder of a diary makes a wrong assumption about an event, then his entry will also be mistaken. This practically makes the story to feel a lot more tactical than it appears to be.

3) Another gimmick is that initially nobody seems to know all the identities of the other participants, thus they can’t just gather in a warehouse and finish the whole thing in an hour. It will require some sort of strategy and mind games to outsmart each other.

4) Catchy main songs (assuming you like pop).

5) Yuno is a horny yandere. 99% of the people who liked the manga, it is only because of her. To hell with whatever the story is about; it has a pink-haired horny yandere in it that keeps doing ecchi stuff with the pussy protagonist! And nobody even notices it! So let’s not kid ourselves; she is both the mascot and highlight of the whole series. Heck, the very introduction video shows mostly her and barely the protagonist or anyone else; they might as well call this show Yuno Diary. No one else in this show is close to being that interesting; they are all a basic stereotype and I don’t improve later on.

MINUSES

Early on, I found several annoying features which ruin the interesting premise from episode 1. And no, I don’t need a magic cell phone to prophesize the future, nor to read the manga (which I hear the anime adaptation butchered). It is all plain facts.

1) Nothing great in terms of animation / artwork. It is in all an average production.

2) The directing is very sloppy. But what could one expect from Hosoda Naoto, a guy who only directed softporns and aimless goofball shows in his life? Definitely not something good. What could one expect from Studio Asread, which never made a proper show in its whole career? Its roster is nothing but shitty ecchi shows and work assistance for equally shitty GONZO sci-fi shows. Seriously, I could tell this wouldn’t be good by hearing “Asread”. Oh, the irony in that name. “As read”? How about “Ass read”?

The transition from one scene to another happens fast and dry, which makes it feel amateurish and ruins the mood.
- If someone dies and half a second later we see the hero doing something irrelevant half a city away, it kills all the gravity of the death.
- If someone is shocked for half a second before he calms, then there is again no gravity given in his emotional state.
- If some unimportant character is standing next to a major character on one scene, and in the immediate next scene he disappears into thin air, you are not made to think there is something going on beyond the noses of the protagonists. The rest of the world is like it doesn’t exist. The whole show is so myopic it would make Alfred Hitchcock to go kamikaze on their asses.

The director did many typical newb mistakes and ruined everything.
- He rushed to shoehorn as much plot as possible in each episode and the result is rushed development and oozing apathy. I hear how many people complained about the Kaiji anime having a slow pace and too stretched emotional outbursts. To all you naggers, I suggest you watch this anime and realize the error of your ways. Kaiji’s directing is awesome. This is not.
- He used the Idiot’s Plot trope in its finest form and the viewer is supposed to think like a dumbass in order to enjoy the slightest detail.

3) The storyboard is messy for similar reasons; I spotted a million inconsistencies and examples of bad scene transition but because of space restrictions I will only mention 10% of them. And to avoid spoilers to those who don’t want them, I will mention them in the ending of the review as optional reading for those who want proof. So head there if you care. All of them can of course be explained with the almighty Rule of Cool, in which case you admit you watch the whole thing because it’s so bad it is good.

4) The characters are pitiful. I know many who consider them great and developed but they are all Narutards so that explains it. Seriously, they are pitiful and badly handled. Here, let me give you a summary of them. --> (info placed in separate file to protect the innocent) http://www.mediafire.com/?6yy17v9185haxqo

5) This is a death tournament anime and if you follow the latest shows then Fate/Zero already kicks Mirai Nikki’s ass with one hand. Jeez you guys, don’t offer identical premises in the same season if you want it to sell. And to heck with that; this is not even presented as a situation where each one has to watch out for all rest. All the players already target Yuki and it feels like he will have to beat them all himself. They are even polite enough to wait in a line for their turn to come up. In the meantime, it’s like they don’t exist. That’s not much of a tournament if the participants are not separated into duals or they aren’t doing anything while someone else is trying to kill Yuki. Furthermore, it is not EVEN Yuki vs the World, since two of the other players already joined his team and help him survive again and again. Seriously, without them the hero would be killed a dozen times every day. So he only wins because he gangs up on his enemies, who are always working solo. What kind of a lame tournament is this? Does anyone even remember Battle Royal and how awesome that was?

The show is clearly not smart or mature as it might wants you to think it is. I already see it as yet another Eden of the East premise with Deadman Wonderland characters. And just for the record, none of both those shows were as good as they wanted you to think they were either. For all I see it is a coo-coo show for people who like the Rule of Cool.

//////

And now the dreaded error list. I probably missed a lot of mistakes but I believe these are sufficient to prove my amazing analytical eye. --> (info placed in separate file to protect the innocent) http://www.mediafire.com/?sgq8jm4c87rc52a

Review up to episode 3. Will edit as I watch more.

“Premise” is the word used for the basic idea of a show. It is used to describe the basic concept, the setting, the initial situation, as well as the main objective of the main characters. In this case, Horizon is a show with a premise about a hundred different things that appear at first to be hard science fiction, mystery, action, suspense, and has a cast of over thirty characters, most of which are warriors with superpowers. Meaning that one who reads the description of the story and looks at the character roster will immediately ... be given the impression this will be some super epic space opera concerning a war amongst super advanced civilizations which transcends dimensions. And so, he sits down to watch a most than amazing show. He watches one episode. Then the next. Then another. And he realizes the premise is one big pile of SHIT!

This is one of the worst cases of wasted potential I have seen in my whole life. The setting and the backdrop history are very detailed and intriguing, yet the actual plot is nothing but the usual aimless retarded goofball school comedy. I guess the producers thought it would make a generic show to stand out by wrapping it with as much colorful ribbons as possible. Well besides filling you with expectations and an initial good impression, the result is still something you have seen before and you will definitely see again. Meaning, there is no reason to care or remember about this show. For various reasons.

The story is as I said just a poor excuse for nonsense. It doesn’t exist, despite the premise making it appear like it is an amazing super epic space adventure. It has something to do with alternative history and ghosts and eroge and magic and grabbing boobs. Don’t try to make any sense of it; it just doesn’t have any.

The cast is nothing but a huge number of eccentrically dressed cardboards. So many of them and they are all stock material you can find everywhere. Nobody is fleshed out, nobody stands out, nobody even seems to matter in the longrun. All the girls have these ridiculous round things that seem more like balloons rather than breasts. And those hairstyles, my God, how do they even manage to walk with hair three times their total body size? As for the guys, this is a world where you are forced to dress as bizarre as possible. Not that this manages to make anyone stand out in the crowd; they are all still cardboards. The main character in particular has the most annoying face and you just want to punch him two seconds after you stare at him. And what the hell are those threads hanging from his head supposed to be? I may not care about the characters but I definitely hate him.

The production values are good when it comes to background decoration. There is this futuristic land hovering in limbo, and there are these cool looking spaceships and uniforms. They look awesome and would make a fine sci-fi campaign. Too bad they are there only as nothing but decoration because the plot is about retarded characters doing nonsense, grabbing boobs and asses, and blowing up their school for fun. As for the sound, it is just forgettable jpop trash and squeaky voices you can again find everywhere.

What you basically have is yet another one of the hundreds of aimless stereotypical school comedies that come and go before you know it, with the difference it has an interesting premise that is NOT exploited in the least. So far I see nothing worth of anyone’s time; you can easily find several funnier, bolder, sexier, and above all MORE ORIGINAL AND WITH DEVELOPED PREMISE shows out there.

Review up to episode 5. Will edit as I watch more.

Game adaptations were never successful in capturing the mood of the original. They were always messing something up, like making the characters feel like robots, presenting events as dull as possible, or just stopping in the middle of nowhere. No matter how many times I tried to enjoy them, they felt like an Eternal Punishment.

“That’s sad-kuma.”

Yes Teddie, I agree, BEAR with it. But guess what, so far Persona 4 appears to have broken the circle of bad karma and as an exception it looks GORGEOUS!

“Hooray!”

The thing is, there have been lots of bad rumours considering ... the production of the show; something about someone stealing the original copy of an episode before it airs, the staff being unpaid for months, and many being ready to drop the project. All that made me have even lower expectations than normal, since an adaptation is by default bad and with such nasty things being said behind the scenes it should be completely horrible.

“Grizzly!”

And yet so far those rumours are BEARily true! Maybe this is a conspiracy by some villain who spreads rumours as means to alter reality if enough people believe in them. Who knows, maybe by tomorrow the show will magically be horrible and Hitler will be alive and have ruled the world with robotic knights.

“Don’t say that-kuma! It’s an unBEARable thought.”

Ok Teddie, I stop. Until that happens (IF it happens) I consider this anime to be the most faithful adaptation ever made. And by faithful I mean it LITERALLY! It’s like I am watching the cut scenes from the game with more variety in motions, camera angles, and the protagonist having a voice. They even use the same visual effects to depict emotions, which is a great treat for those who played the game. Heck, this is also the first time the soundtrack was left the same from the game instead of making a new one for the anime version. Which is both cool AND saves the makers time and money.

“You make it sound BEARy good so far-kuma.”

Indeed I do. But it’s not like I haven’t seen other anime where they tried to keep the cut scenes identical. The result was terrible as it felt like they were jumping from one scene to another without showing the in-between battles and the game engine generated dialogues. It felt very boring and dried up. But in this case, they are doing a fine job so far and I feel how the characters feel. They are so lively and I really like how they made them act so natural, without those stiff motions from the game. I mean do you remember how cold and distant they were in Trinity Soul where…

“I TOLD YOU NEVER TO MENTION THAT NAME AGAIN!”

Woops, I forgot. Can I call it an Innocent Sin and be spared the “ Dark Hour on a floor with Death” punishment?

“There is no Persona 3 anime-kuma.”

Right, and no Tsukihime one either. So let’s leave those BEARied and forgotten and go back to what I was talking about. The characters become easily likable and both visuals and soundtrack are extremely faithful to the original source. Of course there are those who complain the story is moving too fast or the characters feel a bit different but, come on, there were bound to be differences and you can’t possibly expect to have included EVERY SINGLE LINE OF DIALOGUE from the game.

“Well that makes sense-kuma. Does that have any significant BEARing on the series though?”

To be honest, up to episode 4 it does try to cram in as much plot as possible just so it will have a major battle with a Shadow boss in the last minutes and a character accepting his hidden personality. That makes it feel like a monster of the week type of show, which tends to feel repetitive and predictable. Rather TEDDIEus if you get what I mean.

“The story is not predictable! I will beat you up with my BEAR hands if you say that again.

Yes, I know, it is very complicating and has a very good concept around the feelings we hide inside and the role we are supposed to play in front of everybody else. I am just saying up to 4 it follows a pattern so far when all the juice of the story is the interactions amongst the various secondary characters. And in episode 5 we indeed got exactly that by presenting the people the protagonist forms Social Links in the game. No Shadow battles and just nice character colourization all the way.

“Yes, it was a polar BEAR opposite to the rest of them.”

That is enough to make most change their minds about the show being simple. Just wait to see their reactions when the truth about your real identity comes up. You know, the part where you are BEAR naked and…

“Hey, no spoilers! My BEARutiful self will be revealed in its proper time.”

Oh right, and I sure hope by then those rumours will not be as grave as they sound and we will get to enjoy you in your full TrEDDIE glory. Maybe they are just the voices of a few haters after all.

“VOICES VOICES!”

Oh you are such a JOKER Teddie. So, let’s celeBEARate, have a toast on a good start, and make cheers to keep up the great work.

“Sure thing, wait a second to bring my BEARy juice.”

Oh lol, such a joker. And such a good anime too.

“Close to BEARfect so far!”

Review up to episode 6. Will edit as I watch more.

The first Last Exile (LE) is considered one of the best anime GONZO ever made. Which doesn’t mean anything since it never made many great shows to begin with. In fact, for me the only great shows it even made are NHK and Kaleido Star. Anyways, the years passed, GONZO went almost bankrupt because of the shitty shows it was making, and now all of a sudden tries to make a comeback with a follow up to LE. Impressions? IT’S SHIT!

The first LE wasn’t ever super great but at least retained a basic feeling of ... maturity and seriousness. Fam, the Silver Wing (FSW) though makes a drastic change and turns to something far worse. IT BECAME LOLI MOE CRAP! You don’t believe me?

Think of the first episode of LE. Two armies clashing in the sky. Motivational screams, dread, fear, and death. Nobody is certain of who will win. And then a third ship appears from above and with its superior technology trashes them, proving how this is a cruel world where ideals and sacrifice mean nothing before raw power and cynicism towards life. Amongst this chaos was a pair of kind hearted boy and girl mailmen, trying to earn their living while delivering important messages. I never liked most of what followed but the basic concept of the show was there and was clear from the beginning. The tragedy of war, the unjust ruling of the nobles, and the loss of innocence.

Now let’s look at the first episode of FSW. It begins with a girl undressing while sleepwalking and jumps off the airship she is on. Everybody comments “Man, she is totally stupid.” Then the scene changes to a lake where a naked woman bathes, and a cute kid slips and falls in the water. “Man, he’s totally stupid.” Then a fleet of airships invade and try to capture alive that said woman and her sister, because they are important princesses or something. The stupid girl, along with a group of immature and annoying kids intervene because she feels like stealing ships for the lulz. After using the most snotty and vulgar behaviour to her elders, she creates major damage to the invading fleet with a few childish tricks and even fool it to think the princesses died. All of which happen in 10 minutes, while using tiny ships, and their tools being nothing other than a few smoke bombs and flashlights. After that, as if it was all a game, they laugh and she hangs like a monkey from the window and shows everyone her underwear.

WTF did I just watch? The few shreds of decency the show had are now gone. This is not the follow up to LE; it is closer to a goddamn Strike Witches spin-off! The lolis wear clothes with animal ears and tails for crying out loud. Awful, tasteless, immature, fan catering BS! Well done GONZO, you prove how you will never improve. You deserve your fate.

I didn’t drop the series right there; I wanted to see how they will handle this catastrophe. And indeed, in the second episode people have superpowers that magically stop bullets and summon moons to drop on the planet. OH MY GODS, THEY TURNED THIS FROM A WAR DRAMA TO A MAHOU SHOUJO!

And then in the third episode they try really hard to convince us there are battle tactics in this show by making the naval fleets performing weird formations. Well tactics my butt if most of it happens out-of-screen and we don’t even see the outcome of all this mess. Plus, a thousand warships can easily be fooled, infiltrated, and destroyed by an animal-themed loli holding a flashlight, so all that are pointless from the get-go. Jeez, I have seen ten times more tactics in the otherwise naval space battles of Legend of Galactic Heroes. They barely felt this retarded.

And then in the fifth episode the lolis do cosplay to move the hearts of men, steal their ships by using your mother as an excuse, and demand a new kingdom while dressed as maids. I AM PULLING MY OWN FEW REMAINING HAIR!

Yeah, ok, artwork and animation look great. SO WHAT? No amount of quality visuals can save this abomination from trashing one of the few remaining decent (but not good by a longshot) anime this ridiculous studio ever made. I will keep watching but I don’t need to hope it will improve or anything. It can’t possibly save face after such a terrible beginning. Watch it only if you are a 2D petafile or still enjoy brain dead shows with coocoo lolis. The rest keep away.

Oh, and GONZO? DON’T YOU DARE MAKE A SEQUEL TO NHK OR KALEIDO STAR! Please, you only made TWO great shows in your life span. DON’T trash them as well.

Review up to episode 3. Will edit as I watch more.

Just like there is junk food, there is also junk anime, and Ben Tou is a fine example.

Anime regarding food usually have to do with cooking contests. How to gather the proper ingredients, how to cook them properly, and how to amaze the judges. On a basic level these shows are motivational, as they tell you about the beauty of gastronomy and how cool it is to be a chef. Ben Tou though has nothing to do with cooking, although it is about food. Instead of trying to show or tell something, it is just ... about fighting for whom gets to buy canned food and prepared meals from the grocery in half price. So basically, you have a bunch of guys and gals kicking the crap out of each other on a daily basis, just so they pay half as much for their dinner.

So now you will now probably wondering if this is a fighting tournament show, with food discounts being the prize. Again, you are wrong because the fighting in the show is comical and definitely not exciting. They are kicking and punching simplistically without any choreography, and with violence always being bloodless and wounds magically healing in a few minutes. Which is a good thing, because if they weren’t the money they would need to pay for bandages and doctors would cost a thousand times more than a half-priced prepared lunch.

The most interesting thing about the battles is the way the girls fight, as they do all sorts of motions than make their boobs bounce and their legs spreading and revealing stuff. So you will now imagine this is some sort of heavy on fan service anime with fighting chicks, in the likes of Ikki Tousen or Queen’s Blade. And again you are wrong, because there isn’t much fighting or nude. Most of the duration is about the protagonist trying to get his hands on the discount obentos and having his ass kicked repeatedly by chicks. In fact, he is the only one getting stripped all the time for pitiful reasons.

Oh, of course, the ever present pussy/wimp/useless of a protagonist but otherwise “normal teenager” lead. He is constantly beaten and yet he is surrounded by pretty chicks. So this is a harem, right? You’d now think there are a dozen chicks who love him and constantly try to get in his pants. NO! They just kick the crap out of him and strip him while looking for food. That is not sexy at all and it is definitely not a show aimed at girls.

So… what… is this a show about, I don’t know, the economic crisis? The fact that they go through all this trouble just to get a discount can only mean that they are in a very bad financial state and the whole thing could be a metaphor for the extremes poverty forces you to head for. And again NO IT ISN’T; none of the characters seems to show the least concern for money. They even appear to have a fine time spending most of their money on videogames, clothes, and just hanging out in fancy places. They don’t even MENTION they have financial problems. They are the typical anime teenagers with endless magical money.

Ok, wait, maybe it is about the beauty of struggling for your food. It tastes better when you need to fight for it than just buy it. SERIOUSLY? How about growing it you idiots? It will be even tastier this way AND motivate the viewer to be a farmer or a gardener. At best, this show is telling you this way that it is all about the money. YOU FIGHT FOR DISCOUNTS! And you DON’T HAVE FINANCIAL PROBLEMS!

Aha, I got it, it is a fighting shounen parody. It makes fun of fighting by making everybody going crazy about something as pitiful as a discount. At which case IT IS NOT FUNNY! I grew bored of the idea in just 10 minutes. You can’t stretch a single joke to last for more than a couple of episodes; you need to flavor it with more jokes. Yet this whole anime is based solely on making fun of a SINGLE THING! Of course and you will get bored of it fast.

So after all this deduction procedure you realize early on that this show is about NOTHING! It is a retarded screwball school comedy without context and with a concept you get bored of in a few episodes. I already feel like dropping it right here. The production values are nothing amazing, soundtrack and voice acting are passable, character figures are generic, and character personalities are stereotypes. I find no value in this show, and very little enjoyment if you are a seasoned viewer who likes some context in whatever he watches.

Review up to episode 5. Will edit as I watch more.

Chihayafuru is an anime about a card game, where the card game is not important. Confused?
Ok, let me explain. Chihayafuru is, like so many others like Hikaru no Go and YuGiOh, a game promoting anime that tries to motivate the viewers into learning of that said game and eventually picking it up as a steady hobby. The problem is that I doubt many will be inspired by it, and it’s not the show’s fault for that. The way it presents Karuta (the name of the game) is fine, but the game mechanics are plain… bad. ... Well, bad in the sense that it requires from you to have amazing mnemonic capabilities, light-speed reflexes, and complete focus on the tiniest sound around you. And as cool as that sounds at first (like you are a ninja or something) I ensure you it is not a game most people would pick. I mean, seriously, you listen to this poem and you pick up the card corresponding to it as fast as possible. There is no interaction amongst players, no visual card flavor, not much variety in the things you can do, and all the time you just stare at a bunch of cards filled with kanji on them. Anyone who has played Magic the Gathering, Poker, Race for the Galaxy, or in general card games with player interaction, multiple rules, and myriads of variables will definitely find this the dullest game imaginable.

But you know what? Screw the game, It is all about the characters LEARNING of the game and interacting with each other. We have the geeky boy prodigy, grandson of a super powerful Karuta champion, picking up his grandfather’s footsteps. We have the tomboy girl who is in love with geeky boy and plans to be good in the game just to win his attention (far fetched but it works). We have the second boy rival-gone-ally, who is in the team after realizing bullying them to stop is not going to achieve anything. And we have all sorts of situations where Ayase (the girl) is slowly realizing the means to be a good player and how fun it is when you manage to do all of it right and get a card faster than anyone else. Sure, in theory it all works fine.

I must make this clear by mentioning that Chihayafuru is unique as a motivational anime because unlike all others of its kind, it is NOT aimed at shounen demographics but at josei ones. That’s right; it is primarily for late teen girls. So that means the protagonist is not a boy but a girl. And since this is Josei, there is romance and light situations and fluff all over the place, to the point the game is overshadowed by them. It has a feeling far closer to a teen romance than that of a fighting championship.

At the same time, as much as I dislike the game, I must admit that its simplistic rules and complete dedication are exactly what makes it fair and balanced. Meaning, there is very little luck going around and there is definitely no “heart of the cards” saving you at the last moment with a card you just picked up. It is almost pure strategy and mnemonic ability, how you will manage to place the cards in a way you can remember them without even looking at them, figuring out the poem in a few syllables, and zapping the corresponding card in a fraction of a second before the opponent. Doubt and wrong assumptions are what get you to lose the game. It is all understood and the series makes sure to constantly show you how competitive and rewarding it feels when you do all that right, as means to motivate you (sometimes in a comical overdone way). It is a weird situation where the procedure of the gameplay is more interesting than the ACTUAL game.

Anyways, the context of the series is very simple yet plays out in a captivating way. The characters are likable without being anything uncommon, the game is interesting to study (but not stare or play), and the production values are ok without being amazing (what’s with those red lips all girls have?). My only complaints are in the soundtrack which is underwhelming, as well as some messy scenes where something happens too fast to feel natural (like, when Mashima stole Mataya’s glasses and a second later was walking twenty meters away) or the rules feeling rather off (like when Ayase knocked out of the way a dozen different cards at once and yet it counted as a valid point). These are not big enough to ruin most of the enjoyment a casual viewer can get out of the series and so far it is a fine light watch.

I don’t know for how long the series can keep being interesting after the core mechanics have been established and the characters are in need of development. So far they get lots of that since a time skip took place in episode 4, and now they are all grown up. It already delves into their romantic and angst-filled lives, so it is captivating as of now. I will wait to see if they manage to keep it interesting all the way to the end but for now this weird card/romance combo is working fine. Karute is there as motivation for friendship and romance and not as the meaning of life, as in the case of so many other card game anime. At the same time it flavors the otherwise simple lives of the three main characters, as without it just looks as yet another dorama most people would get bored of fast.

… And seriously, watch it for the characters and not for the game.

Let me give you a description of a show and tell me which one it reminds you of. It is about your average teenage boy making a life pact with a supernatural fighting girl, which is responsible to maintain order in the world, and where there are copies of yourself as replacements in case something goes wrong, and everything is explained with a very weirdly named terminology… BZZZ, and no, it isn’t Shakugan no Shana but its lesser cousin, Kurokami. Sorry dear Kurokami, you do not have a loli tsundere voiced by Rie Kugimiya so you never stood a chance in succeeding from the very ... second you got green light for adaptation. Further more, you do not have 4 goddamn seasons of endless softporn and millions of otakus who are watching you for the sake of wasting their brain cells. And above all, you are based on a mahwa, and there is no such thing as a good mahwa. Sure, there are very good in terms of fighting but their storylines plain suck. So there you go, I just explained to you why Kurokami never had a chance of being a good anime.

Reader: That is the worst negative bias I have seen in my life. Won’t this guy talk about facts instead of straw men, or just say something about the damn show?

Sure, I was about to do that. The above was just an introduction to what you are getting yourselves into. Something NOT good. So basically we get this story where your typical/boring/overused stereotype Keita meets this naive/kind hearted/dumb chick/super fighter Kuro and learns that the world is not what it seems to be. Every person has two others like him as safeguards and in case one dies, the other gets his luck and whatever superpowers that comes with. It is a weird concept but does have its captivating charm; imagine one day that you learn you are nothing but a replacement and that when someone dies is not tragic because his copy will inherit his luck/powers. Scary indeed.

Otaku: WOOO! A show about a fighting chick and an intriguing premise. I am scoring it with a 10 right now and head to buy her figurine!

Sit down no-lifer and let me finish! The premise and the fighting are the only good things in it because everything else is pretty much a mess. And sure, if all you care about is brainless action and shallow philosophy, I am sure you are going to like it a lot. Yet the moment you try to reason the whole thing, it won’t take more than 5 seconds to realize it is all nothing but gibberish. Fighting your fate with punches and kicks? Since when can raw power and violence solve such existentialism issues? And why is Kuro so willingly explaining all these top secret stuff to a random guy she just met? And why is such a dumb naive girl in charge of such an important mission to begin with? It all happens in the most silly way possible and makes everything feel shallow and passable.

Action fanboy: Who cares about realism? Anime don’t need to be realistic, they only need to be entertaining. If it has good action and nude chicks, I have no problem with it.

Good for you my superficial no-brainer; but I am not you. I like when things are excused to be as such and to pass as probable based on their importance. If a bimbo appears out of nowhere and starts mumbling about invisible pink unicorns, I will not take her seriously, nor will I care to participate in whatever she plans to do.

Reader: Will this guy ever tell us anything about the ACTUAL show?

I thought I was already doing that. Hm, anyways, I guess I will talk about technicalities like the production values. Animation and artwork are ok for this sort of anime but they are not amazing. They have a fair amount of details and colouring but they otherwise lack the finer touches that would make it look special or awesome. For example, all the backgrounds feel generic, it is just schools and buildings and streets I have seen a billion times already and no amount of details can save them from feeling generic. Every time I look at such sceneries I always end up comparing them to the “5cm per second” movie, and Kurozuka’s level is plain ok. I could say something similar about the character figures, who also feel generic in appearance and are occasionally drawn with inconsistent facial structure. As for the sound part, it is very passable in overall as the characters usually don’t have much passion in their voices and the soundtrack is average songs you will forget very fast.

Action fanboy: Who cares about all that? Is the action good?

Yes it is my fellow no-brainer. There is a lot of choreography in it to make it look like a good martial arts series, plus it has several superpowers to offer variety in tactics and counters. And yes, it also has some basic fan service too, as Kuro is always fighting without pants and her clothes keep ripping. And there are other nude scenes thrown here and there.

Otaku: WOOO! Masterpiece! I will go look for her beaten up and in agony version.

Whatever no-lifer; I was more interested in if any of that make sense as a whole. And guess what, they don’t. It is just the usual shounen stuff we see all the time, where injuries mean absolutely nothing if the hero has enough resolve or if the script said so. It’s the same thing all the time, they just storm in and punch rapidly at the baddies until they are beaten. The premise of the story ends up being nothing but a poor excuse after awhile since all it matters is punching your way through any obstacle. It gets too fake to like it after awhile and the directing is not helping much because most of the action has unfit BGM or the duration of the attacks is usually too short or too long to like them properly. As for the rest of the story, most of the plot is either fillers or boring events. It does have a solid conclusion but by then I didn’t care in the least about the basic idea. It was barely looked into.

Reader: Just tell us a few things about the characters and be over with it; I am about to stop reading here.

Ok impatient reader, I will. The characters are standard stuff you can find in many shounen. As usual, only the main ones end up being interesting and developed, with everybody else being nothing but ephemeral opponents and cannon fodder. The thing is, their chemistry is nothing we haven’t seen before and it sure feels less captivating if you compare it with other famous boy-girl pacts in anime. The ones I can think of right now are Fate/Stay Night, Shakugan no Shana, and Birdy the Mighty. Heck, even lesser works like Zero no Tsukaima and 3X3 Eyes feel more enriched than this one.

Action fanboy: I don’t care if it looks like other shows, or if the story makes no sense. I am watching this for the same reason I am watching Bleach.

Otaku: And I just want to increase my waifus and this is a perfect opportunity.

Whatever you idiots; I told you it is not a good show and you are free to go waste your money/brain cells/time on it. Don’t say I didn’t warn you afterwards.

Reader: What an asshole… *downvotes*