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Do the people at Hal Film Maker just throw a dart on a dartboard of eechi comedies to make anime out of? First Dokuro-chan and now this.

Kemeko DX is another in a long string of "comedies" as of late that try to combine several different genres of anime into one in an attempt to be funny. You have gun fights, fan service, parodies, a girl with a giant sword, maids and even some sci-fi undertones as well. Unfortunately, the series pulls none of this off at all. It has good art, aaaaannnnndddd that's about it.

Part of the reason is because the cast is so uniformly ... unlikable and stereotypical. Sanpieta is a wimp, Kemeko's actions border on the psychotic, Izumi's the lame "childhood friend" with big breasts, Misaki is the obligatory perverted girl, and Ryouko the aforementioned girl with the big sword. Sanpieta also has an annoying little sister who mouths off at him every opportunity she can, with her mother being an unfunny knockoff of Mama from Kodocha. I wonder how many minutes the original manga creator spend thinking of this cast of characters!

As if that wasn't enough, the series' plot is so misguided I thought I was watching the episodes out of order like with Haruhi when I watched the fansubs. Nothing's explained until the final episode, and even then the show has the audacity to thrown in a new character in the series' final moments. It could've (and should've) been plotless: at least then my intelligence wouldn't have been insulted.

Even the audio is weak. The voice acting is atrocious and the both the opening and ending themes blow. In fact, the latter is one of the worst ending themes I've ever heard in any show, let alone anime. (In case you're curious what it is, it's a trio of those ugly-as-sin Kemeko robots dancing while a "dancing exercise" video plays, where Chiwa Satou squeaks out random usages of the words "gorgeous" and "sexy", neither of which describes Kemeko at all.)

Kemeko DX is a bad show, but even bad shows can be funny. Here, the humor might be funny if it wasn't so mean-spirited. For example, episode 7 has Kemeko chasing Sanpieta with a running chainsaw in an attempt to get him to exercise. Another has him almost getting killed by Misaki's sister, mistaking the boy for an intruder. Then she acts like nothing happened later! Oh, and don't forget the numerous times his "friends" beat him up or smack him for being a pervert / cheating on his "girlfriend" Kemeko.

That's just it, though. The biggest problem with Kemeko DX is, well, Kemeko herself. She's obnoxious, selfish, mean, ugly, and just plain insane. If the show made her wild outbursts funny or treated her with some sort of humility, she might've been a fun character. But no. Instead, she's the most obnoxious robot I've seen in an anime since the Ropponmatsu androids in Excel Saga. And like them, this robot, as well as this anime, needs to be scrapped. For good.

Take Vision of Escaflowne, remove all the character development, writing, humor, romance, and action that made the series the classic 90s anime people treat it as, and throw it out the window. Then replace all that with angst and blood. That's the Escaflowne movie.

While I have to admire Sunrise to attempt to condense the series for those unfamiliar with it, as well as breathe new life into old characters, this isn't the way to do it. Hitomi, instead of being a shy, but head-strong girl, is now a whiny brat who contemplates suicide. Van, instead of being a bickering but brave and powerful warrior, is ... now Tarzan with a sword. Allen is now a clone of Sephiroth, and so forth; every character you knew from Escaflowne is ruined, and these character would still suck even to those not very familiar with the franchise (such as myself). The only improved character is Merle, who's a good deal less annoying than she was in the TV series. In fact, she's the best character in the whole movie! Unfortunately, that's not a compliment.

Remember those great mecha battle scenes with Van on the Escaflowne? They're gone now, as Van spends most of the movie slashing at things and watching them bleed. There IS a robot battle, but only one worth mention, and it doesn't come until pretty far in to be of much notice.

Then there's the writing. I suspect Sunrise hired Escaflowne fans in middle school to write this, as the plot and its constant mention of the same things over and over again makes Doraemon look like it was written by Charles Dickens. Not to mention how boring of a formula the movie follows: if you've watched anime for a few years now, you can guess what will happen before it happens.

So is there anything I liked about this movie? Well, it's pretty, with slightly improved character designs and a good sounstrack by the great Yoko Kanno. Annnnnd that's about it. Escaflowne: A Girl in Gaea is a pointless retread of something that was good enough the first time around, and it won't win over any new fans in its wake. And Escaflowne fans themselves should stay as far away from this turkey as possible.