May 28, 2021
Man, where do I start.
Azur Lane is a repulsive, boring, disgusting waste of anyone and everyone's time. So much so, that I have chosen to write my first review for the sole purpose of dogging on this terrible series.
Story 2/10: The only reason I didn't give this portion a 1/10 was because the story in this anime is somewhat conceivable. The characters actions as well as the world itself can be somewhat made out. However, just because a story can be seen, does not mean that it is a pretty one. I have never personally been too big a fan of Naval combat or sea
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based stories so when I was met with the raw amount of inconsistencies in the pacing and overall telling of this story I was appalled to say the least. To top this all off the overall message of "we aren't that different after all," and crude attempts at heartfelt moments expressed by the end of the show are some of the poorest tries at some of the poorest most overused tropes imaginable.
Art 1/10: As weak as this anime was. This was by far one of the weakest portions. Watching this genuinely made me mad that a studio could mess something up this hard. There are vivid moments in my memory of characters mouths not being drawn all the way, making it so that when they open their mouth to speak there is nothing but a white abyss inside, no tongue, no teeth, nothing. It'd be one thing if this was consistent because maybe you could pass it off as "a unique style," but no, they actually just screwed up that much as it only happened two or three times and was for roughly 10 seconds at a time. Mistakes aside, the art style for this anime was extremely poor and unoriginal. None of the colors popped and everything just looked extremely bland, making even the action scenes extremely unexciting and dull.
Sound 2/10: I'm not gonna write a lot here because I genuinely remember nothing about the soundtrack of this show, despite watching the opening and ending all the way through each episode. It being the least memorable part of this garbage excuse for television easily makes it the most redeeming portion of the series, thus the 2/10.
Characters 1/10: Nearly every character throughout the entire series showed very little interesting development. The closest thing to character growth we saw was seeing Enterprises mentality change from the first episode to the last which was one of the most useless subplots of the entire thing as it, like everything else in this show, ultimately led to nowhere. I'd say the most interesting characters throughout this entire series were the Sirens themselves which receive a collective 8 minutes of screentime throughout this 288 minute pile of crap. Other than the previously mentioned characters, everyone else just follows basic character tropes with no innovation making up for arguably the most forgettable cast of characters imaginable.
Enjoyment 1/10: This was the most agonizing piece of media I have ever forced myself to sit through. I have never come closer to dropping a series and I felt every. god. damn. second. of this anime as it went by. I would only recommend this to the most distinguished of masochists who can only experience pleasure through the most tremendously painful of experiences. The only thing I have gained from this viewing experience is that now if I find myself in a tough situation I can always tell myself "c'mon, you finished Azur Lane you can get through this." Please don't watch this if you value your mentality in any way.
Overall 1/10
Reviewer’s Rating: 1
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