Jan 3, 2021
*Spoilers ahead, though I try to be vague.*
I made the mistake of renting this movie, and I don't know what I miss more: my money, my time, or my sanity.
This movie is a mess from the start. Within the first twenty minutes, they establish a romance between the main characters, Hinako and Minato. It's cliche, predictable, and I found myself cringing. I can't understand how we, as the viewers, are supposed to feel emotionally invested, or even care about the characters when the movie speeds through their relationship, just to get it out of the way.
The viewer must sit through a terrible song, sung
...
by Hinako and Minato, as they go on dates to establish that, 'look, these two are in love'. After that's over, tragedy strikes. I felt nothing but annoyance at this point, but I continued to watch.
Hinako soon realizes that she can summon her beloved by singing the song from the relationship montage. I close my eyes and take a breath. I know where this is going. Sure enough, that terrible song is sung, repeatedly, over the entire course of the movie.
Does anyone remember that meme of Mr. Incredible where he's on the ground, clearly in pain, with the caption "I can't...not again. I'm not...strong enough" -- because this is how I felt every time Hinako sang that @#%! song. The singing was like nails on chalkboard. It made me grit my teeth. I felt my blood pressure rise with each broken note.
Music aside, Hinako is obnoxious and unlikable. She sulks, pouts, and makes everything all about her, despite the fact that others are suffering too. She acts erratically and obsessively. She comes across as unintelligent and klutzy, without any redeeming qualities. She's nothing without her man. I haven't disliked a character so much in a long time.
In contrast, Minato is the 'cool guy'. He's laidback, intelligent (I guess), seems to have his life together, and is completely enamored with Hinako, which is frustrating to watch. I failed to see where the attraction stemmed from, but they touch on that later, and...well. I've seen better plot twists on the Neopets RP boards.
But I digress. Hinako just can't seem to move on, so she brings Minato with her wherever she goes, except he's carried around in a water bottle and in a blowup porpoise, because he can only exist in water. Oh, and she's the only one that can see him, so her friends think she's crazy. Rightfully so.
Minato's character offers nothing. He throws up the shaka (surfs up) sign in every scene, offering little tidbits of encouragement while Hinako goes off the deep end. She acts giddy and seems to think that their relationship can persevere despite the fact that her man is literally in a water bottle.
All the while, the "goal" of the movie is for Hinako to 'ride her own wave', aka move on without Minato.
And...that's the movie. What you expect to happens, happens. It's predictable, it's boring, it's cringeworthy and frustrating. I enjoyed Lu Over the Wall, so I thought I'd like this one, but it's a hard pass. If anything, watch it to see how bad it is, but don't spend your money like I did. My review may come across as harsh, but I don't care. I haven't disliked a movie this much in a long time.
Reviewer’s Rating: 1
What did you think of this review?
Nice
0
Love it
0
Funny
0
Confusing
0
Well-written
0
Creative
0Show all