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Apr 23, 2023
Think One Punch Man, but, like, Jewish.
Riki-Oh is basically looking for the source of what killed his...girlfriend? Adopted child? Not sure honestly, but she got killed by bad opiates.
So this guy infiltrates a prison by getting arrested from killing some Yakuza dudes. Like, he punches this man's jaw clean off!
His main characteristics are Jewish Fist and playing the leaf.
He can punch through walls, break chains with his hands, play leaf, and start prison revolts.
Pretty rad. If you just wanted to see someone use the Jewish punch, then you have come to the right place! You also get some comments on
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the evil of for-profit prisons as a treat.
Reviewer’s Rating: 4
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Apr 7, 2023
Perhaps, to commemorate the life of Ryuho Okawa, we chose to watch the first installment of the Happy Science Religion (cough cult cough) movies. Now, this is not the first Happy Science film I have seen, and I can say that both "The Golden Laws" and "The Laws of the Sun" are far superior to Hermes' horrifically placed story.
If I were to critique Hermes legitimately, it would be an insult to anime as a medium. It has horrific pacing, ranging between several minutes of Hermes pondering on a hill to climactic action sequences ending in thirty seconds flat. There are a few (abysmal) musical
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numbers that have no reason to be interjected in the story, but at least, they have a bit of that trademarked 90s flare. (My main musical complaint, however, is the lack of smooth jazz. Needs more jazz.) The plot is MIA; I searched and searched for the entire two hours, but it was nowhere to be found.
If I were to critique Hermes through the lens of bad anime, well, it would be an insult to the artistry of bad anime. Hermes can't hold a candle to anything from Ghost Stories to Garzey's Wing to Gibiate to MD Geist. The only way to properly assess Hermes is only as a Happy Science film, and even then, it falls short. What is Hermes' purpose in the world's lore? What is his relation to the reincarnation of El Cantare? Where even is El Cantare? Hermes is nothing more than a fool playing god.
I completed the movie approximately two hours ago, and I can barely remember what happened, but here is my possibly inaccurate summary:
- A golden CGI feather floats down from the heavens to ancient Greece.
- It is prophesized that the king of Greece will be born! And then, Hermes pops out of the womb!
- There is this King Minos who is bad! And his wife gives birth to a minotaur (spoiler alert: the minotaur gets like sixty seconds of screen time later until he is crushed under rocks). He is trying to take over Greece and is taking prisoners from different lands or something.
- Hermes is older now, and he is really cool and has a white horse, while everyone else has lame brown horses.
- People think he should get married, and he starts stalking this pretty girl named Aphrodite who for some reason is locked away in this tower on an island.
- She is also in love with him, even though she's only seen him from the distance as he tries to row his way to the island.
- She gets whisked away by Hermes on his second visit to the island and then they get married!
- Hermes is visited by Ophealis, who is the god of creation (I don't remember this part of Greek Mythology). And he's like "Bro, you've gotta save Greece! King Minos is bad!"
- So Hermes tells some guy that they should ally with the other Greek places to defeat King Minos' army.
- He goes and sees this chad Theseus who has a bowl cut. I think Theseus and some others pretend to be prisoners and taken to Minos' castle. They team up with Minos' daughter.
- Army sequences. The castle burns down. The bad guys die. Yay! Theseus was literally like "Minos' daughter just lost her brother and her parents...I want to marry her." Because ancient Greek dudes want to get married to strange girls after knowing them for like twenty-four hours.
- Ophealis visits Hermes again and is like "You are me, and I am you." And gives him this staff that grants wishes, but can't grant your personal desires. So Hermes helps out the townspeople (but what if that was his desire all along?).
- Lots of pondering happens.
- Aphrodite wants to carry Hermes' baby, but they have been married for like seven years and hasn't gotten pregnant. So she does the very smart thing of trying to run away and not talking to Hermes about this. But she gets about two-hundred feet outside of the city and this spirit lady shoots in her in the tit with an arrow and is like "You will have a baby boy!" And she does just that.
- Some fucking fairies visit Hermes, give him the winged shoes, and then they leave the physical realm.
- They go to the actual gateway to heaven, except it's more like a psychedelic trip.
- For some reason, it's important that Hermes knows that mermaids are endangered on earth, because people stopped loving the ocean or something?
- Hermes and the fairies are sucked into the pits of hell where Hermes fights Minos as he's trying to take over the world.
Yeah, so basically if you want to watch a bad anime, don't watch this. If you want to watch a weird anime produced by a cult, don't watch this.
Praise be to El Cantare!
Reviewer’s Rating: 2
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Oct 28, 2022
I am a self-ascribed connoisseur and authority of bad anime. "Dracula: Sovereign of the Damned", which should be more aptly named "Dracula's Bad Day Out", is the highest of low quality trash I have ever seen.
Our movie is defined by its expertly crafted animation, featuring a multiple slide shows of images and reused clips of a single flying bat. However, even more than its art direction is the immaculate music and sound design with the most ill-fitting background music choices I've ever had the holy pleasure of witnessing. All I can say is the sound director is God Himself (that may or may not
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have ressurcted a baby that looks like a 15th century English monk with a bowl cut, but I won't spoil too much).
I simply invite you to behold the glorious Mastapiece that is Dracula's Bad Out, where Alpha Chad Dracula steal Beta Male Satan Lucifer's bitch. However, we follow Dracula on his traumatic journey of losing his Alpha Chad status. At the same time, this group of loser "vampire hunters" are just kinda of hanging out in the background with their weird dog. Cringe.
Reviewer’s Rating: 4
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May 14, 2022
Hey, you! Yes, *you*!
Do you have thirty minutes to spare?
Great!
Do literally anything else except watch this.
Perhaps, eat some nails or something, idk. Anything is better than subjecting yourself to this.
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I have never experienced such intense sensory overload than listening to the first three minutes of anime girl shrieking. And that is how long I lasted watching this show, which is saying something, because I watched every episode of Ex-Arm, every single second, and that was a masterpiece and a half compared to this.
If you are like me and the brain does not process sensory input well, do not trigger yourself.
Thank you, and have a blessed day.
Reviewer’s Rating: 1
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Apr 8, 2021
I've been keeping up with this series for the last few years, so my initial review of it may be a bit skewed compared to if I had read it in one binge or in complete succession, so bear that in mind.
Overall, I'd rank the majority of the series very highly! I base that primarily on my own enjoyment and investment in the series, but the manga itself is filled with interesting motivations, plot, and twists. The characters themselves can sometimes be a bit lackluster and underdeveloped, but not to the point where I can't ever relate to them or root for them. Perhaps,
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the sheer number of characters introduced highlights this issue, but I am not sure. At the end of the day, it is something to be aware of, especially for secondary characters.
The world itself is fundamentally interesting and leaves you asking a lot of interesting questions. It sets a fantastic foundation for a story. Many moral questions are invoked, and I thoroughly enjoyed that dynamic of the manga.
The ending so far upon its release has proven...contentious, to say the least. I was a bit disappointed in how the last about five to ten chapters panned out. It seems they were a bit rushed, and I certainly don't agree with various choices made by the author at the end. At the end of the day, though, the ending, while meh to me didn't take away from my enjoyment of the rest of the series and it has sparked a lot of interesting discussions.
Reviewer’s Rating: 8
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