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'Fist of the North Star' is about heads and body parts exploding. That's it. There is no plot. You may be tricked into thinking there is one, but there isn't. It's just Kenshiro, the main protagonist, walking straight, as random shit happens around him.

'Fist of the North Star' has no characters. You may be tricked into thinking there are characters, but there aren't. They are just props which Kenshiro ruthlessly destroys. Never, at any time, ever, does any spark of intelligence or emotion ever ignite in these people's (inevitably exploding) heads. They exist to have their heads exploded. Sure, they are capable of speech, motion, ... and basic interaction with other props, which only exist to make the viewer believe there is a stake at hand. But of course there isn't, our main man Ken will just dispatch them easily.

Is there a weakness to Hokuto? Probably. Does it matter? No, because Ken simply cannot be defeated. You know that. There is no sense of danger, or any reason to root for Kenshiro, because you know he will win .This, ironically, diminishes the man's qualities, instead of enhancing them.

He does not organically push boundaries. He does not learn. He does not grow. He does not become better,because he does not make mistakes.
Kenshiro is not the ultra alpha supra manly man he is praised to be. He is just a boring brick viciously hurled at a window.
Joining him in his adventures as a viewer is a lot like watching a Windows XP screensaver, but with more movement.

There are some kids who join Ken in his murderous rampage of brain dead, deformed beast men, but to this day I have no idea why they exist there in the first place. Nor do I really care about it. I want to see heads explode. Oh yeah, and there's a woman who probably does something.

And no, I cannot be accused of being ignorant and not following the story. I am sure whoever wrote this crap wanted me to not care. Otherwise they wouldn't make everything so void of life and uninteresting.

So is there any reason why you should enjoy this?

Yes!

1. The exploding heads: there is something cathartic about them. Maybe they remind me of simpler, more playful times. They are the main selling point of FOTNS, and I bought it, because sometimes you just need to let your brain rest and let your body take over.

2. Raoh. If he was a character in an actual anime, I would have loved him. Too bad he is wasted here, just another piece of flesh to receive Kenshiro's beating.

3. The Art. It is beautiful. Definitely not the best, there are countless others waaaaaay better; but there is something entrancing about it, and one of the reasons I came back to watching this stupid show, despite taking me more than two years to complete. That, and exploding heads, of course.

4. Ken's voice. It is really cool.

5. The goons' voices. They are actually funny at times. If you're not paying attention, you might confuse them for living, breathing characters, just because of the voice acting.

6. ATATATATATATATATATATATATATATA

7. The memes.

That being said, is it worth watching 'Fist of the North Star'? Possibly not. Watch the YouTube shorts for the exploding heads, and rid yourself of the plodding, uninteresting story. And follow the memes.

Is it enjoyable? Surprisingly, yes. But there's a catch. Should you find yourself loving FOTNS, there's a solid chance you're more alike to the goons Ken effortlessly humiliates, rather than Ken himself. Take what you want from this.

Before I begin, I need to mention two things:

1. I'm still new to anime, but I do already know what I like and what I don't. I've seen most of the well known ones, and I have a solid idea of how the whole mechanism works.

2. THIS REVIEW CONTAINS SPOILERS! SPOILEEEEEEEERS!

Now on with the review. I started this anime with no expectations, only because I do that with every single thing. I like a good fantasy setting, and I never mind a proper fight between two strong characters. What I got here instead is an unfinished premise, a war between the science driven human under ... the banner of the Empire, and magic users, properly named mages.

Let's say that won't be a problem, as long as we have the characters of the show, whose story, while unveiled, will reveal certain facts about the world around them. That, of course, is not the case. What we are presented with fails to build anything, and instead destroys my faith in anyone being able to create a good story in 2020, under the leadership of Silver Link Studios.

Enter the male protagonist, the discount Kirito of SAO fame (another crap anime btw), who is so powerful, so strong, so mysterious! Yet I have no desire to ever decipher his mystery, because the poor guy was cursed with some of the most bland, generic writing I've ever encountered on screen.
His weapons are two utterly overpowered swords, with which he can effortlessly negate any sort of magic. And I didn't even mention how he is a young flawless prodigy of his craft, because that is so unique and no one ever thought about that, right guise? Those combined make him an allpowerful, indestructible enemy from the very first episodes, and now I come to wonder, why do I even watch this shit? The guy has a built in invincibility code. What chances do the mages stand?

Speaking of mages, enter the 'Ice Calamity Witch', one of the most feared enemy of the Empire. I really wonder why the hell are they so afraid of? She is your standard emotional, faux pacifist blonde with big tits, clumsy moves and useless powers. She cannot even hope to land a hit on anyone, not just your overpowered male protagonist.

The two MCs have a cringe worthy encounter. Both factions are assisted by their useless peers, and the fight, just like this anime, goes nowhere really.

Following some brief dialogue, they conclude they both wish for peace. Overcome by emotions, our dreaded Ice Calamity Witch SLIPS on her OWN ICE and lands straight into the arms of the male MC, prompting her to wish to land on his penis instead.

And this is where your fight scene ends. There we go. Following this is the most vile slice of life crap I've yet to see (and I love slice of life). The two main characters fall in love, and we are treated with an insane barrage of cock blocking failure regarded by the writers as romance. God help us all. The most undesired tropes are there, and they made me so frustrated, I'm not even going to mention them. Imagine everything you wish to not see if your standard shoujo anime, and you have it.

The frustrating romance we are constantly bombarded with reaches its disturbing climax in episode 3, when together, the two love enhanced protagonists manage to defeat THE MAIN VILLAIN. You read that right. In episodes 3, the main villain, the mother of all mages is defeated in the most retarded, anticlimactic fight to ever exist anywhere. After pointlessly firing nukes at the main pair, only for them to fail to reach their target (I guess this where the ICW got her skills from), she gets her one shot.ONE. SHOT. and dies. Is this the meaning of life? Is this what Jesus Christ died for?

And then some other shit happens, don't care to write about it anymore. If a show pulls such a bastard trick on the viewer, make sure its authors do not deserve the attention of anyone who is capable of breating and blinking at them same time. To hell with this. I will not watch more episodes.


Time to conclude this long review, and congratulate myself for being able to write this in such a calm manner.

1. Plot: 1/10, see above.
2. Characters: 1/10. Besides the two protagonists, the other characters do absolutely nothing to advance the story. Dragged from the generic pool of crap, they seem to be unable to exist on their own.

We have your edgy silver haired friend of the male MC, who barely gets any screen time. We have the Empire's squad captain, a loli with massive tits, who is supposed to be their emotional pylon, but all she does is trip on her shoe laces. She EVEN ADMITS her worthlessness as a captain, hahaha. And we have the Ice Calamity Witch's assistant, who got in this anime by mistake, and now has to live with it. A speck of light in an oppressive ocean of shadow, poor woman.

3. Art: 5/10, it was ok.
4. Sound: 5/10, not bad, but unremarkable
5. Enjoyment: I'd rather be that guy who took 200 foreskins off of dead Philistine soldiers for King David, than ever have to watch this mountain of filth again.
6. Overall: Please kill me. 1/10.