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Aug 23, 2017
Preliminary (29/47 chp)
SAO still isn't thought out. At least it isn't lifeless, Asuna has emotions and goals, and it is pretty to look at.

The story ideas that are here clash with what is fun or potentially fun about the show. By fun I mean interesting misery, which is fun for evil people; So, fun. What a good show does is establish a premise and explore that by pushing the logic of it.

Every element is immediately demystified by Kirito who expositions at the reader until things aren't fun.

When Asuna and Kirito do leave the boss room and meet enemies that are way stronger than them, they ...


It’s time to ditch the text file.
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