Back to SirTifide's Profile SirTifide's Profile

stacy please premature ejaculation is a completely normal problem i mean have you ever read the manga my balls where the protagonist gets satan sealed inside his nutsack i'm just like him!

no i don't actually have satan sealed in my family jewels it's just like in the manga i'm surrounded by all these nearly naked sexy women all the time so i can't help if i fire off prematurely like a bad hitman it's not my fault

is it really that ridiculous to believe that much like the stunning and prodigious kouta satou i'd have issues controlling my young man's erratic behaviour due to the fact ... that i spend all day every day avoiding increasingly ridiculous and titillating events with ridiculously sexy women?

no, no, i swear it's all true! it's almost as if forces from beyond our plane of existence and constantly conspiring to make me turn my underwear into a jackson pollock painting! in fact, that may be all that happens to me for 41 chapters straight!

chapters? are you cottoning on to the fact that this lazy metaphor is getting played out and i haven't actually had my prostate destroyed by the most ridiculous no nut november challenge ever commited to any medium, visual or otherwise?

needless to say i did not get laid that night

(spoiler warning. better safe than sorry)

Ever wanted to fuck your sister?

I sure hope not. We're all well-adjusted human beings around here.

Aki-Sora is a manga which transcends barriers and breaks glass ceilings. It reaches for new heights, and achieves the impossible. It's in a class of its own- no manga could ever be as terrible as this.

This is a story about sex. Specifically, how many weird sex situations can you get in before the reader loses their suspension of disbelief and gives up all hope on humanity. For me that was the part where the main character had to act as a substitute "hot beef injection" ... for his friend who has Erectile Dysfunction.

Aki-Sora is a shitty h-doujin series that by some cruel twist of fate became a manga. It refuses to focus on the main plot- the relationship between the titular characters- in favor of getting Sora into more and more ridiculous sex situations so that the reader can get their jollies off without worrying about things like "Morality" and "Laws". It fails to craft sympathetic characters and a coherent plot because it's too busy thrusting sex in the reader's face.

Would Sora and Aki's relationship and the struggle they face in a society that abhors their actions be more compelling if the focus of the story was on them instead of the over the top sexualization that drips from it's pages? Yes. Would the subplot of Nami and Kana's love be more engaging if they didn't have sex battles with Sora caught in the middle (somewhat literally)? Yes. Underneath the thick layer of terribleness, there is a good idea, which makes it all the more of an affront when the author willfully ignores this because he wanted to write a sex story instead.

This manga has no redeeming factors. It's my measuring stick for how bad a manga can be- in fact it's the only manga I have ever given a rating of 1. I have never encountered something as offensively bad as this, and I'm not sure I ever will again. Leave this steaming pile of shit well alone.

Welcome to The Asterisk War, Fat Fucking Titties Edition.

Oh, yeeeah. That's the good shit I want. Thanks to the creators for the Uncensored version. It's really solved my frustration over the fact that there are never any nipples in anime.

This is a masterpiece. After all, what masterpiece doesn't start without a full minute and a half groping scene?

Forget everything you know. This is the anime that changes lives, solves world hunger and cures cancer, thanks to its copious amounts of voluptous, bouncing, large, sizeable, monstrous, pillowy, soft...... plot. Niiiiiiiiice.

There's no way this isn't a parody. If it isn't I'm sure I'll lose some of my ... sanity.

Masou Gakuen HxH is a show full of everything that that is called "cancerous" in anime. Harem? Check. Male protagonist with the Phallus Of Fate? Check. Needless High School? Check. Ridiculous fanservice? Check. A show full of scenes so close to actual pornography that you wonder why they didn't just make this a hentai instead? Check, check, and check. This show wins the award for Thing I Most Don't Want To Explain To My Parents for this season. And yes, I'm counting Shokugeki.

There's not much to say about this show. There's big breasts, big robots, big boobs, big guns, and big bosoms. There's fingerbanging, and at one point mouth fingerbanging (I really don't think that's as sexy as they thought it would be. Kinda nasty, actually).

It really is all very stupid. Whether that's intended or not, I don't know. I want to believe that the people who made this are smart enough to know how stupid this is and have made it this stupid on purpose. Because the stupidity is on a whole other level with this show.

I'm losing track of any points I want to make, so I'll stop here. I had some notes that I took to make sure I stayed on track, but all they say is "Breasts aren't supposed to do that", and "I wonder if they have special made bras to contain their monstrously sized sheilas".

It's not worth watching unless you really want to murder a few brain cells or just zone out to something you don't have to pay attention to.

Let me paraphrase Hitler. "Any anime that seeks to be popular has to accommodate itself to the comprehension of the least intelligent of those whom it seeks to reach."

That isn't to say that anyone who enjoyed this is stupid. Just to say that this show caters to stupid people. And that is to say that it's some pretty lowest common denominator stuff. And I'm explaining that so that I don't get slapped on the wrist for insulting people.

Now that I've insulted "the best anime of spring 2016, the year, the decade, and possibly of all time", I'm going to take some time to state why ... I disagree with this statement, before breaking down into a slander based rant where I compare this anime to 3 month old dick cheese.

I'm off to a fantastic start, aren't I?

(spoiler warning.)

Re:Zero is a show that is often overblown. It is called a psychological masterpiece when Subaru has a mental breakdown, an action masterpiece when they kill a whale. It is said to be a character-driven emotional epic where the main character reacts realistically to what happens around him. And yes, while it does have its moments, it isn't nearly as good as people make it out to be.

I want to start off by addressing that this show is no different from the "generic overpoewered mc" trope. Before you lynch me, let me explain. Subaru is often said to be a protagonist who is not overpowered, and has to struggle to achieve his goal since he has no "trump card" or superhuman strength that will triple in power to help him defeat his enemies. However, while he isn't subject to a sudden power up, he is constantly subject to ridiculous plot convenience at every corner. The show lasts all of 10 minutes before he meets Satella, a magic user and her familiar Puck, and befriends them both. Our merry band of three then go off on a journey to get back something Satella lost. On their way, they save a little girl (hooray for good deeds) who the turns out to be the daughter of the store owner they met earlier, who apparently knows exactly the information that they need (boo for using said good deed as a cheap plot advancement technique). The point of this ridiculous paragraph is that Subaru didn't have to use his ridiculously big brain or his ultra technique to solve the problem- he just needed to wait for things to fall into his lap. Just like with how it then turns out that Satella is actually Emilia, and she also just happens to be living in a mansion with a rich lord willing to employ Subaru for his services, and also happens to be a candidate for Queen of the kingdom. And as soon as it began, Subaru's struggle to make a place for himself in society via struggling for things he has not earned has ended with his superpower- not Return by Death, but by the superpower of plot convenience.

And this isn't an isolated case. This happens throughout the anime, other cases being anytime Beatrice does anything (thank you, helpful loli of plot advancement. We'll need you until we're not in the mansion anymore), Reinhardt showing up in the store to prevent the crazy knife girl from killing Subaru because he "just so happened to be in the neighborhood".

Moving on to the ridiculous edge factor. The constant over the top bloodsplosions and limbs flying off comically reminded me of Akame ga Kill, a show constantly called "2edgy4me" and "reliant on over the top gore for shock". However, when it's in Re:Zero, the same thing is praised for being "horrifying" and is generally thought of as adding to the show. I am not trying to say that any gore is edgy- but Re:Zero's use of gore definetly is. Gore should be a "show, don't tell" aspect of a show. It's the icing on a violence cake. It isn't the cake itself. Re: Zero constantly shoves how gory it is in your face. Each fight is secondary to the blood spilled during it. There is one genuinely disturbing moment in its violence, and that's when Rem gets twisted up like a pretzel. Although that moment is immediately ruined by the fact that recently-made-into-a-pretzel Rem drags herself to Subaru comically thanks to the power of love.

For a show that has a love affair with violence and making its main character watch his friends die, it's super scared of actually having anyone die (and yes, I am aware of the "it" that happens in the light novels and think that not including "it" in an anime that has no confirmed season 2 as of yet is a good idea). Death of characters loses its meaning when you are looking for the shock factor in the character's death not in the death itself, but how the character will die this time. Death also loses its meaning when it's happening all the time and has no consequences. It doesn't matter if someone dies, because they will be back. Characters here elude the reaper via Subaru returning or straight up ignoring death. Unless you're a side character, in which case fuck you and die a gory death for shock value.

But enough of that. Time to bitch about characters.

Subaru is constantly a happy-go-lucky-devoted-to-his-companions type until they visit the royal city, where he starts letting his ego get out of check, resulting in A Very Bad Time for all involved. Seriously, the way he behaves in the royal court made me physically cringe. Maybe that was the point. Seriously, who acts like that at a royal court where all of the top officials in the land are? It's the equivalent of walking into the UN and doing the same thing. Doesn't matter how much of prick the people may be, you don't act like that at a place that is deciding the equivalent of the fate of the world. Regardless, after making an absolute fool of himself and getting beaten up by Purple hair fujoshi bait while Red hair fujoshi bait looks on all sad-like that his friend is getting beat up, Subaru undergoes a transformation and becomes the new and improved Subaredgy, who likes to believe that without his godly intervention, nothing will go right. Which would've been a really good change, if not for the fact he becomes an insufferable tool out of nowhere, for no reason. It isn't even a result of him having to deal with a whole lot of shit like getting killed by Rem, dying of mana exhaustion, etc. He was fine all that time in the mansion despite what he went through. For him to suddenly develop this new personality because Julius called out on his behavior and the beat him up for trashing the name of the knights of the kingdom (the equivalent of shitting on soldiers) is unreasonable and stupid. This new personality also causes his intelligence to regress, making him attempt to have Princesses who control armies and businesses with great success bend to his will because he simply wants them to rather than thinking of how to navigate the political climate. And this all lasts until Rem gives a great speech to him to cheer him up. And then he's back to his happy-go-lucky self. And despite realising how he can't do anything because he doesn't have the fighting skills or magic skills to help. And he still doesn't attempt to learn them, leaving others to do the work for him. The one time he does attempt to learn it is when he is Subaredgy, and gives up soon after he changes back to regular Subaru.

There is a constant slew of characters who are introduced and do almost nothing of note despite how much of an impact is seems they will have when they are introduced. Here lies Felt, Priscilla, Anastasia, Aldebaran, Beatrice, Russel Fellow, Elsa, Roswaal, and Old Man Rom (and to a certain extent, Ram).

But by far the worst character has to be Betelgeuse. Rapey weirdos who lick people weren't okay in Sword Art Online, and they shouldn't be okay here. Betelgeuse is a jarring addition to the cast, constantly talking about his brain trembling and pulling weird poses and munching his fingers and talking about how slothful people and having a crush on the Jealous Witch and not much else. Props to the VA though. He was fantastic. Made Betelgeuse actually bearable.
Betelgeuse is constantly built up to be the ultimate bad guy of the series, someone who is seriously bad news. and in the 4 episodes they actually go out of their way to fight him, he is constantly killed ridiculously easily. It took double the amount of episodes for Subaru to be able to leave Roswaal's mansion alive (which brings me to another gripe, it took 12 episodes to introduce the first major plot point, which is the Queen candidate story. 12 episodes. half the series. What.).

Rem and Emilia are the least grating of the lot, but that's because they're the waifu bait. They need to be likeable. problem is, Emilia disappears right after episode 13 and only reappears in episode 23. 10 episodes of the main love interest disappearing leads to what happened- people start supporting Rem as the main love interest rather than Emilia, which is sad, because Subaru and Emilia had a bunch of really good moments, which all evaporated in the wake of a 10 episode disappearance.
Rem has the problem of literally trying to murder Subaru in episode 6. How can a show where what happens has a "psychological effect on the main character" brush this off the very next episode because "she held my hand when I was having a nightmare"? It just doesn't make sense.

Truthfully, Re:Zero is a bad show. Not truly bad, but also definitely not amazing or deserving of being called the "best". And it sure as shit would've been a better show if not for the constant outpouring of praise from those who watched it.

Not the best of its season. That's Boku no Hero Academia. Not the best of its year- that could be Konosuba, Boku no Hero Academia, ReLife, or Shokugeki S2. Definitely not the best of the decade, when you share the decade with shows like Katanagatari, Bakuman, Mahou Shoujo Madoka Magica, Steins;Gate, Anohana, Nichijou, Usagi Drop, and Fate/zero. And that's just 2010/2011.

Re:Zero is show that got popular for a good reason. One that I'll never understand.

Boy moves back to his childhood home, meets with his childhood friends again, and falls in love with his best friend.

Sakura Discord's basic plot is pretty paint by numbers, feel good type of stuff. Kids overcoming their problems together and becoming closer friends. But it has so much more heart than other manga of its ilk. I started reading because it looked mildly interesting, prepared to drop it within a couple of chapters should it become too same-y or tripe. But I binged the whole thing in an afternoon, because it absolutely engrossed me start to finish.

The ending felt a bit rushed (which at this ... point seems to be the standard for most endings, sadly). It provided enough closure but it could've been... more.

The art style is distinctive. Personally I loved it, but it may seem out of fashion or too different to some.

Sakura Discord is not anything new or different (nihil sub sole novum), but it's still a great read to enjoy and pass some time.

"lol they're going to bang lol they didn't haha lmao" isn't funny for 200 chapters. It's grating.

It's like babysitting a toddler. Sure, at first it's all cutesy and laughs, but then it shits itself and starts wailing and the only reason you're taking care of it is because you're getting paid or it's a friends' kid.

No one was paying me to read this, nor is it my friends' kid. So I stopped.

Read it or don't, doesn't matter to me. In my opinion, There's plenty better comedy 4-koma out there. Try Seitokai Yakuindomo, That's funny and also is just sex jokes.

Who doesn't like hermaphrodites? Probably a lot of people, but that's beside the point.

Hello and welcome to the "Sometimes I Really Question Why I Finished Reading This" segment, where the answer is almost always "Curiosity Killed The Cat".

I like reading weird shit. It's almost always bad in an entertaining way.

Sometimes it's not. Enter Boku no Futatsu no Tsubasa, where it's just bad.

Spoiler warning? The twists are so left field not even Nostradamus could hope to see them coming...

Enter cousins Hiromi (not a hermaphrodite) and Makoto (a hermaphrodite). They have everyday problems, such as boys, the school lesbian, periods, and making sure Makoto doesn't pop a ... stiffy in public and let everyone in on the big secret.

Everything is fine and dandy until one day Makoto receives a mysterious cellphone, from someone claiming to be her father.

I don't want to type out an entire plot summary, but it starts off fine enough and turns into the worst train wreck since the 2004 Sri Lanka tsunami rail disaster.

The plot is overtly contrived, with way too many "plot twists" and secretive bad guys out to kidnap Makoto that feel like they're there to inject interest but only succeed in confusing. Characters fail to act rationally (I'm going to have sex with your seedy ex-boyfriend who is a known cheater and only uses women for their bodies because he seems like a nice guy!) and detract from the plot that is barely there by the end.

Should You Read: Boku no Futatsu no Tsubasa? Probably not. There's probably better hermaphrodite manga out there if that's what you're looking for, and if that isn't what you're looking for, then why are you here?

Ooh boy. There are guilty pleasures. Like eating a whole bucket of KFC original recipe by yourself.

Then there's the deep fried, bacon wrapped, meat stuffed, chocolate sauce covered excess decadence of something that exceeds guilty pleasures. It's sinfully bad in a good way.

That's how I feel about MonMusu. Once upon a time, I too, stood upon the moral high ground turning my nose up at the those gorging themselves upon the debauchery of monster girl harem comedy. But a thought took root in my mind- "Give it a go."

And since I thought that obviously there would be no harm, and I would immediately see I ... was right about the quality of the material, I opened up the first chapter.

And here I am. Neck deep in the stuff that repulses society most, and loving every minute of it.

Now, Monster Musume is a simple manga. There are girls who are monsters, increasing in number as the story progresses, all competing in the Waifu Bowl where the winner gets to ride the MC's dick. Standard stuff. This premise means that the manga must stand on the quality of its comedy, characters, and setting.

And on those three previously stated counts, it passes with flying colors. It's consistently funny, with characters that don't feel boring. Things are kept spicy, and there's never a point where the story feels like it drags its feet overly long.

If you're not sure whether to read this or not, read it. That's my opinion as a professional degenerate.

When I was younger, I wondered why plagiarism was bad. When I grew up, I read Black Clover.

Yeah, this is bad. I'd say it's like porridge, but I have to admit porridge has flavor. Black Clover is as bland as they come. It's taking a bread shaped cardboard cut out, toasting it, and pretending it's toast. It's also inorganic. Kinda like cardboard toast. Did I mention it was bland?

It's a good thing we're on the topic of cardboard, because that relates to the characters. Which are also bland. In a cardboard cutout way. Almost everything they say or do feels like it comes out of ... the 10 Easy Steps To Being A Believable Character Stereotype handbook. The main character is going to become the pirate hokage, so that he can defeat the black wizard. Whoops, wrong series. It's easy to get confused when over half of this manga is ripped from more popular works. The main character is Uzumaki D. Natsu, his best friend is fujoshi bait, and the love interest is the overtly popular "called a tsundere but isn't a real tsundere" type that is popular for some reason. There's a colourful cast of supporting characters too, who occupy different roles to help the plot along or to look cool, but never really become characters in their own right, because who needs interesting characters, right?

Voice tone doesn't translated into text. Read this in a mix of overt sarcasm and exasperation.

Go read Boku no Hero Academia instead.

FLCL is modern art. By that, I mean that it's that one exhibit at the at the art show that all the critics rave about being "deep, inspired, and shows that the artist is trying to reach out to the viewer to express his inner torment" when literally everyone who is just there to enjoy art is puzzling as to how a floating square next to an empty cereal box has any deeper meaning.

I feel like everyone who worked on this project had to go home and ask their kids what they liked, and they spent the next meeting dropping LSD and mashing what they ... had gotten from their children into an anime. Then they shipped what they had. Which isn't bad, I absolutely loved all the zany shit that happened but at the same time it was just that. Zany shit, and not much else.

At several points it felt like FLCL realised that it hadn't done anything in terms of plot and just crammed something in that would make it seem like there was a plot. Something along the lines of
"Oh shit, we forgot Haruko's motivations!"
"Well my son was talking about space pirates the other day and..."
"Perfect. Add in an ultimate power McGuffin and we're sorted."

Truthfully, FLCL does have some really good parts, for example the episode where Naota struggles with his attraction to Haruko and the fact that his father seems to be in a relationship with her and he isn't. That was great. Until it turned out that it wasn't his dad, just a space robot vibrator Haruko was using as a personal slave that had the likeness of his dad.

Despite all this, I found FLCL fun. In a sort of "turn your brain off and watch a robot pop out of his head so that he can fight aliens with a guitar" kind of way. If you really want to find a deeper meaning, go live as a Buddhist monk.