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Jul 29, 2016
Hajime no Ippo is masculinity at its extreme. This is the kind of show that features men mercilessly beat the shit out of each other and then cheerily grab each other's junk in the shower as a form of greeting. This anime will turn your testicles into testosterone shooting death stars and give you enough arm strength to beat a grizzly in an arm-wrestle so if you're ready to turn up your man energy to 11 - read on...
The story features a couple of centre characters. Makunochi Ippo - a timid boy that works at a fishing wharf with aspirations to become a great boxer.
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Certainly he has the punching power of a golf cart going at 40 mph (DEMUPUSHI ROOORRRUU), and the chin of a brick wall. Joining him is Takamura, a powerful boxer who likes abusing men just as much as he likes abusing women. We then have 2 gym clowns Aoki and Kimura and a massive amount of other plot important recurring characters.
This show features men in peak physical condition. 70% of the show is about training. What I love about Hajime no Ippo is that it's not afraid to show that strength is not given, it is earned. It shows men sweating, bleeding, crying and puking from the training and fighting. And yet, through their pursuit of strength they keep going regardless pushing their limits further and further.
Expect to see a lot of finely tuned muscles, bad ass one liners, violence and sexual harassment as well as mental and physical anguish that can make shows like DBZ and the like look like kindergarden nap time. Hajime no Ippo is a no bullshit show that shows the journey of a group of men as they hook and uppercut their way to the pinnacle of the strongest men on the planet.
And with that also comes comedy and a tad bit of romance. After a day of hard work and sheer determination every man needs a bit of rest and release. Takamura's antics and Ippo's ineptitude with women ("Keep being a good son" LMFAO) will surely bring a wide smile to your face.
The art is spectacular. Arms, blood and sweat flying everywhere in good detail and with sound effects that make it seem as if you were watching K-2 and mount Everest suddenly grow arms and duke it out in the Himalayas (Arghhhh HIDARIIII MIGIIIIII). I fucking live for this!
Enjoyment? Abso-fucking-lutely. You'll grow muscles just by watching this and start shadow boxing in your room before you know it. This is a man's show. This is something you watch before you go to the gym. It'll turn you into a boulder spitting, bicep flexing juggernaut of a being capable of chopping sequoia trees down with your balls.
Hajime no Ippo gets 10 points from me. This is masculine art in its finest. Now go to work, earn money, work out and go on a date with an attractive damsel.
Reviewer’s Rating: 10
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May 23, 2016
Trinity Seven is a unique harem anime in that it features a strong male lead that isn't afraid of groping ass and tits and a female cast that actually doesn't have a problem with him doing so. Now you're probably thinking - impossibru Simonian, how can such flawlessness be? I assure you it can and it's right here.
The story is rather bland. A generic school setting wrapped up in some magical theme. It's the weakest component of this anime. Slow progression and ultimately goes nowhere... but if you like ass and tits and moreover if you like them poked, stroked and groped -
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story isn't really going to be a problem.
Which brings me to the wonderful characters of this show. Now whoever came up with the concept of this show's MC (Kasuga Arata) deserves a cookie with viagra fillings. Arata's charm to the females in this show is like a ripe banana to fruit flies. This guy doesn't stutter, he possesses confidence like no other and a pair of solid balls. This guy makes no limp dick excuses either. He grabs the sexual goods either intentionally or by accident and calmly thanks the females for the opportunity afterwards. A rare sight in harem shows.
But herein lies the problem. That's pretty much as far as the harem and "romance" component of this show goes. It's mostly jokes and some light frottage. The romance component never really seems to break through the comedy, limiting the vast potential Trinity Seven had. For example : Arata touches a tit, girls don't have a problem and want to take it further - suddenly both sides calmly play it off as a joke and go their merry ways. The fuck? If a girl has no problems with a guy touching her tit in real life, the end result is either a spent condom or a pregnancy.
But I'm going off on a tangent here. What I'm saying is the comedy limits this show a LOT.
As for the visual and sound departments they're honestly good. The scenery and characters look crisp in 1080p, opening and ending songs are decent and voice acting fitting and authentic. Sound effects accompanying various magical spells and battles alike are spot on and what one would expect.
Enjoyment? Thoroughly entertaining due to the characters. Story-wise it's fairly weak. Arata and the girls make a near perfect combination. Ecchi in a harem setting is good thanks to MC's unstoppable sack while the romance is limited by the comedy.
Overall, still a good series. Strongly recommended.
Reviewer’s Rating: 7
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May 20, 2016
Imagine a story where the MC possess 0 vices, passes up on every opportunity to move in on his "love interests" and makes girls fall in love with him after taking them out shopping once. This is the kind of story Princess Lover is. It's utterly contrived , childish and nonsensical.
The story is a boring pile of drool, there's a guy named Teppei who likes swinging a sword for fun ; a group of large tits show up , he takes them shopping with his 8 digit Visa card and they want to suck his cawk. End of story.
The characters are a total
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disaster, the MC is a guy who gets a hard on while dancing with a girl. Spectacular. The girls posses 0 traits, just a plethora of green, pink, blond headed zombies who want to devour MC's crotch and credit rating.
The jokes are more boring than a tourism major's university experience. Pink haired girl gets kidnapped and complains about not taking a bath. Kidnappers blush and let her take a bath. HWaHaHaHAHAHAHhhAH she's so kawaii. Fuck you.
The art is decent when focused on gravity defying tits, the rest looks like it was drawn with a crayon by a drunk hobo. The sound effects are littered with screechy shouts denouncing Teppei's arrival. "Teppei-kun " "Teppei!" "Teppei dono" "Teppei sama". Riveting.
2 Points. Steaming pile of nut filled turd.
Reviewer’s Rating: 2
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May 19, 2016
In a nutshell, One Punch Man is an anime about a bald guy that enjoys fisting clown looking monsters under the watchful eye of Michael Bay. This is an action enthusiast's wet dream and it does its job extremely well. However, what it does tremendously well in terms of action and stunning visuals & audio, it lacks in terms of everything else.
The story is simple, the world is in danger from "monsters". As it happens a guy named Saitama trains for 3 years straight and acquires the physique of Bruce Lee , strength of Hulk on steroids, speed of an asteroid and the
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punching power of Mount Everest shot out of a barrett sniper rifle . Saitama nonchalantly tears the monsters apart regardless of the situation. Big muscular Lion looking "monster". No problem. You try to one up this guy with a projectile? He can catch it. You're trying to run away? Check your closet, Saitama is already there.
There is no actual limit to his power. Which can be fun seeing as no one in this anime seems to have a clue about it and the situations that arise are both comedic and bombastic in scope. However that's all there is to it. There's no character progression, no real story to speak of . No room for improvement. Just one immortal character in a sea of piñatas. So take that for what it is and you'll enjoy it.
Visual and audio effects are spectacular. The fights will make you want to do a lot of push ups and sit ups and drink plenty of juice. Don't forget to shave your head.
All in all, what we have here is a young Master Roshi in his hay day punching a few circus performers. Thoroughly enjoyable for what it is.
7 points.
Reviewer’s Rating: 7
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May 12, 2016
Attack on Titan had the potential to be one of the greatest works of fiction and it completely squandered that opportunity. Here's why - The first few episodes establish a world where massive hunks of meat with eerie grins rip people's heads off on sight and for no reason whatsoever. No one has the guts or means to kill the damn things. You can feel the helplessness, the horror and the dark vibe of the series. You connect emotionally with the characters and the series sucks you in.
After a horrifying yet heartily entertaining start we want more. What's gonna happen? How can you fend
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off a giant baby looking tub of meat that doesn't give a fuck about anything other than ripping you and everyone around you to shreds? Turns out there are people that can fly through the air at 100 miles an hour with 2 glorified machetes and slice those bitches like a shef in a sushi joint. Slice here, slice there and that 10 metre hunk of terror suddenly becomes ridiculous and comical. What the supposedly mere human characters do in this series suddenly becomes supernatural.
The series literally makes fun of its strongest selling point. Suddenly, you have "titans" running around like babies, jumping around like frogs and characters swirling around in the air like katarina in league of legends. If that wasn't bad enough, the pacing grinds to a complete halt and everyone with a German surname starts arguing for episodes on end. The series suffers from a severe DBZ syndrome of having characters talk shit for way too long for no reason.
Ultimately, the titans look like they could use super-sized diapers, the characters end up being shallow, the story goes nowhere and you're left wondering what the fuck happened to all the black people.
However, the series did have monumental potential and the first 2 episodes are a testament to that. 15 metre giants running through everything and everyone without a single care in the world is something you will never see once you switch your PC off and from the start it was the series' pivotal strength. Titan fighting scenes are gargantuan in scope and execution. The sound effects accompanying them are nothing short of spectacular.
But that's about it. Everything else might as well been written by Tommy Wiseau. Shallow characters, constant deus ex machina solutions to killing something that at the beginning was established to be near unkillable and pacing that will leave you confused.
Watch it for the action, don't take it seriously and you'll be mildly entertained.
5 points.
Reviewer’s Rating: 5
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May 1, 2016
"Chuunibyou demo Koi ga Shitai!" is a story about a clueless male lead surrounded by bad bitches who'd jump his bones weren't they busy figuring out what's gonna happen next on sesame street. What makes it entertaining is the fact he doesn't realise he just needs to grab them by their skirts and give them the spanking they're asking for and instead plays it cool leading to all too hilarious situations.
The setting is your typical highschool complete with tables and shit. We have the male lead who has the vibes of Atilla the Hun. Attracting girls left and right like a banker in a
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strip club , our hero sets out to start his highschool life on a good note. It just so happens that one day, his inbuilt pussy magnet attracts an eye patch wearing bish who sets out to capture his dragon (i.e give him a hard on). Soon a plethora of weird bishes appear in Atilla's life waiting for him to give them the what for. Our protagonist is torn between entertaining the child like nature of his harem and tearing through his zipper and giving the chicks what they truly want.
Adventure starts. Hold on to your seat. Atilla gets in trouble as he tries to come to terms with his own childishness and the bishes grow restless of his lack of "hands-on" action. Hilarious shit.
Art is splendid and the gargantuan vision of daydreaming episodes experienced by the girls is a sight to behold. DBZ pales in comparison, no shit talking ( Goku & Frieza 20 episode shit talk fml) just straight up ass kickin boner risin action. No Viagra necessary. You'll be harder than a brick.
Sound is excellent. The music, voice acting - the whole package. Let your senses indulge in this human triumph.
All in all, very entertaining. I was waiting for the male lead to go Bill Cosby on the female cast but we can't get everything we want in life. A spectacular watch nonetheless. If you ever get hit on by a chick who's into some some delusional childish stuff watch this and just bend her over and tell her you need to inspect her nether regions for any suspicious seismic activities.
10 out of 10. Glorious.
Reviewer’s Rating: 10
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Apr 15, 2016
Oreshura locks up a spineless male lead with a psycho, a tsundere, a vegetable and mother teresa in a small setting featuring a school, a house and some trees here and there. That's all this is. Oreshura in a nutshell.
The story really isn't that special. The character's aren't either. They're cardboard cut outs. Sexy white haired edgy psycho genius - check. Dense male lead who couldn't get laid with a donkey - check. Fiery redhead... emotionally dead girl, childhood friend etc. check check check. Straight down the typical romcom list.
The story doesn't go anywhere. It's a back and forth battle between 3 cardboard
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cut-outs and one potential serial murderer dipped in some drama. Club activities. Movie scene. Club activities with the psycho. Beach scene. Bada bing bada boom, series is over.
Redeeming qualities though : comedy. There's something amusing in watching a man be blackmailed by a cold hearted psycho just because he doesn't have the balls to say : "You know what, fuck you and that notebook. I'm just gonna walk away."
Art is fairly good. Trees and shit are animated nicely . Top points here. Sound was good too. Skipped the opening and ending songs.
Yeah no, walk the fuck away from this one. Unless you like stories about psychos.
Reviewer’s Rating: 4
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Nov 27, 2015
At its core, the whole 'Boku wa Tomodachi ga Sukunai' series is a coming of age story that pits its characters against a wide variety of issues every person on this planet has experienced in their teenage years. Sexual tension, childhood memories, emotional pain, hunger for success and the unbreakable will to change.
The premise is very simple. We have the protagonist, Kodaka Hasegawa, a blond high school boy who has a hard time building any sort of rapport with people due to his hair colour (being blond in Japan is bad ass apparently) and his inability to smile. Everyone sees him as a delinquent
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punk and stays the fuck away from him. Enter Yozora Mikazuki, a stone cold girl in a similar situation. A chance meeting of her going full retard and the boy bonds the two outcasts who then set out to form a club with the aim of making friends.
This anime is almost poetic in its portrayal of teenage life which is filled with comedy and tragedy. Kodaka is actually a decent hard working dude but his outward shell created as a result of his past just pushes people away. Life constantly gives him chances to redeem and smile but he's trapped so far down in his own head Freddy is feeling claustrophobic. Yozora has the potential to be the most reliable friend but her high horse and arrogance prevents her from touching people's hearts.
The whole cast is filled with contradictory tragedies. Horny celibates, dumb-bass cute girls who talk about poop all day, drop dead gorgeous redheads who dream of being a dude... what the fuck am I watching? However that's teenage life in a tangential nutshell and that's what makes this anime so god damn good. I missed a chance at a threesome in high school because I couldn't read moods for shit. The kind of guy that would say " uh... I dunno" if a girl flat out asked him to have sex with her. This is what this anime is.
The visual aspect of 'Boku wa Tomodachi ga Sukunai' is something to truly marvel at. Every episode is filled with top notch animation and... plenty of ecchi. Don't let that dissuade you however, the story is still a lot more solid than you'll ever be while watching this. I give the studio props for being able to morph just the right amount of ecchi for... entertainment purposes with the overall feel of the anime.
Likewise the VA and OST do a good job at completing this near masterpiece. Hentai grade moan acting, drama class shouting and titanic one liners delivered to you straight from the land of the rising sun. Pepper thy angus, squire.
All in all, 'Boku wa Tomodachi ga Sukunai' is an entertaining clusterfuck of teenage angst, gravity defying tits, comedy made tragedy and... teenage angst. Definitively one to watch!
9 points. Thanks for reading.
Reviewer’s Rating: 9
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Nov 6, 2015
I fucking love stories where the main lead crashes on a desolate island on the ass end of Earth with a herd of sexually frustrated women. A bit like Nagasarete Airantou except with actual sex involved. This is one such story.
The synopsis doesn't do justice to this perverted magnum opus. Our hero, Shindou Naoki, runs into phenomenal luck when the plane he's travelling on decides it has had enough of flying and kamikazes its ass into the middle of a fucking ocean.
There are only five survivors. The male lead, his horny teacher, a perverted stewardess and his two classmates. 1 guy 4 girls,
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a small ass island and fuck all to do. You know as well as I do where this is going... and sure enough, our boy starts dispensing his seed left and right like a malfunctioned slot machine in Vegas. They've not only managed to animate him jamming his tree trunk into every available orifice on the island well... but also flawlessly managed to jam shit-tons of sexual scenes into a 1 episode OVA.
The story telling is masterful. This is a sexual work but in terms of its execution of the flow and content of the plot this little 1 episode motherfucker can rival any Hayao Miyazaki work. Yes I've said it. This is the piece de resistance of the global pornographic industry.
Art coupled with the setting is a monumental sight to behold. Midnight camp-fires, fresh waters of the ocean, the tropical sunlight, palm trees... I nearly tore a hole through my pants admiring the background sights! They fuck all over the island, waterfalls, the tropical bush, rocky terrain... sweet jesus have mercy.
The music in this glorious achievement of humanity is yet an another staggeringly strong point. The ambient "I got lost in a warm water cave at the local swimming park" tune coupled with the hot heroines and tent inducing background imagery will give you a trippy dopaminegasm.
This was the most enjoyable pornographic piece of work I've ever watched. Thank god I was born on planet Earth and not somewhere in the universe where everyone screams "EXTERMINATE" or rips their body parts off to reproduce. Nature is beauty, women are beauty... sex is poetic beauty. I love life. And this Hentai is life. Life is epiphany.
10 out of 10 points. What an absolute masterpiece.
Reviewer’s Rating: 10
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Nov 1, 2015
Watching Hen Zemi is a bit like catching your friend trying to stick a carrot in their ass. It's awkward and repulsive but you just can't turn away. This series literally opens up the pandora box of human sexuality. NTR, masochism, humiliation, voyeurism, watersports... jesus fucking christ. This series is downright creepy.
The story and premise are simple. A couple of university students join forces together on their quest for ultimate perversion as they drink piss and shove stuff into each other. That's the whole series in a sentence. Yeah, they do also eloquently talk about the philosophy of their perverted quirts but in the
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end you can shorten in down to "I'd like to jerk off over your sleeping body".
Hen Zemi will definitely change your outlook on perversion. Knowledge is power my friend. This series will help you to spot a watersports enthusiast from a mile away. It will also help you to understand euphemisms better and realise that sometimes a seemingly innocent conversation is actually downright dirty (set up his tent on the other side of the river - jesus, that's a good one) .
Hen Zemi is for everyone obsessed with sex, perversion... sexual perversion and everything in between. One hell of a fucking ride... now excuse me while I take a few hits and find the nearest bar wench.
8/10 points.
Reviewer’s Rating: 8
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