- Last OnlineAug 11, 2019 11:30 AM
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- BirthdayApr 20, 1995
- LocationMt. Olympus, Mars
- JoinedSep 15, 2017
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Jan 7, 2019
Sirius the Cringe Beast Review (Minor Spoilers You Won't Really Care About)
I think the most analogous scene to summarize the whole of this series can be found halfway through the end of its final episode. In that scene our main character says this, "I know what to do, I've finally found my path" and he is then immediately punched straight in the face and sent plummeting into the depths of the Atlantic fucking ocean. Visually, this is a pretty great looking show, the lighting effects and fight scenes can be pretty entertaining, but it is also somewhat inconsistent with quite a few instances of comically
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janky animation in less action-oriented scenes.
The main cast consists of a ragtag group of the most bare bones, stereotypical members of your party in literally every JRPG ever made. There's jolly buff guy with beard, special agent d cups, edgy guy with dark past, elderly mentor wearing a monocle and of course, twink, how could we forget about good ol' twink? The antagonists on the other hand are stock mini bosses and minions ripped straight out of Castlevania led by possibly the most insufferable Shakespearean twat with a top hat in the history of anime.
To get a good grasp on the entertainment value of this show, here's a description of a portion of its epic final battle. An insufferable twat with a top hat eats a big marble and transforms into a gargoyle with the face of Anthony Hopkins, but also somehow transforms his full suit into a bedazzled black unitard with sparkling elf shoes that somehow grow back even after you cut his legs off. Now that's anime. The first 3/4ths of the show were actually decently engaging and entertaining, but man oh man, grab yourself a couple of buddies and brews and you will have a banger of a time watching the bombastic circus fire it devolves into for the final quarter. Sirius the Jaeger is an initially average anime that evolves into such supreme trash as it goes on that I'd have to classify it as a 4 out of 10, so bad it's good.
Reviewer’s Rating: 4
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Aug 20, 2018
Soul Food For Thought...
I'd seen scraps of Soul Eater here and there on Toonami as a kid and always wanted to check it out and now that I finally have, I'm glad I did. The show isn't nearly what I'd consider a masterpiece by any measure but it is an undoubtably great time and certainly an above average anime to say the least. To tell the truth, I probably would have been head over heels for this show nonstop if it weren't for just one problem character, Black Star. Yeah, I know he's supposed to be the comic relief and he does get better over
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time, but oh my word, for a good 3rd of the show he was easily in the running for most annoying character ever in any good anime and that is saying something.
The plot of the show sets off in a bit of a jumbled manor, there are a few characters who just seem to fall in and out of the story for no reason with no explanation and then they pop back up and kind of confuse you as to why this is happening now and what happened in between. That being said, the later half of the story is pretty damn great, in fact, around the end of Season 1 the show basically had me in a bingewatch stranglehold. As the story progresses, so do the characters, both hero and villain, as well as the world which they inhabit along with them. Speaking of the world, Death City and Academy is probably one of my favorite settings in an anime, the gothic architecture and quirky residents are always fun to explore and the show never shies away from making it feel like a place people could actually live in, rather than just some photoshopped background art.
The villains of the show can be quite hatable and imposing and one of them turns out to become one of my favorite heroes in the show (and I will punch the face of anyone who makes his adorable half-demon ass cry haha). The characters are thorougly investing from the leads, Soul, Maka and Death the Kid (not you, Black Star, with your high-pitched voice and your overblown ego), to the supporting cast, many of whom get a lot of highlight moments, namely Stein, Chrona, Death the Kid, Lord Death, Justin and (FOOL) how could I forget, probably one of the funniest things in anime The Great Holy Sword Excalibuuur! The combination of the characters, their progressing maturity and team work, along with the ever-escalating dangers they face make for a well-paced and rewarding story.
If I'm being honest, the only things keeping this show as low as an 8 for me are 1) how annoying Black Star was and 2) how many times everyone came back from supposedly certain death (I guess I could have said spoilers, but you'll catch on pretttty quickly either way, with very few exceptions that are more surprising that they don't result in revivals than anything else). So, that's my story and I'm sticking to it, Soul Eater is an at times hilarious, at times emotionally engaging and at times incredibly agitating 8 out of 10 anime in my personal opinion.
Reviewer’s Rating: 8
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Aug 17, 2018
A Medical Assessment of Dr. Black J. Acula's Movie
While I'm not as familiar as with the character as I was watching the show semi-regularly when I was younger, I found this feature adaptation on Amazon the other night and decided I'd try it out. What I found was a mixed bag of alternating extremes. At times extremely interesting and involving writing, at times extremely cliched and melodramatic writing, at times truly beautiful and engaging animation, at times truly terrible animation half-heartedly painted over with stylized freeze-frames.
I found the concept of the story to be pretty great, even if it's not necessarily the most original, a
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spooky company performing experiments on people to create super humans gone horribly wrong ask a brilliant doctor to help them fix the formula. It's relatively well-done and I was quite drawn in throughout about 75% of the run-time, however, the last 25% almost completely lost me. Where it started out as a moderately subdued and down-to-earth medical mystery/conspiracy theory story, in the last act it felt the need to throw in a cacophony of dramatic exposition dumps and fiery action scenes set to supremely cheesy 80s love ballads.
The last act was beyond ridiculous and wasn't helped by the fact that the incessant freeze-frames for dramatic emphasis tended to occur almost every time a character projectile vomited blood, a side-effect of the aforementioned experiments gone wrong. But as the dramatic conclusion drew near, characters were almost constantly vomiting blood to remind us of the ticking clock and after a while it became frankly hysterical every time it happened.
Despite its occasionally awkward animations and slightly overblown shakespearean dialogue, the movie was a pretty good time and kept me entertained from start to finish. It had quite a few interesting characters who almost all got their time to shine, even if that time was sometimes spent hamming it up a bit in the voice acting department. If you're a big fan of the series you'll probably like it more than I did and if you aren't or were just a casual viewer like I was, you can still get a kick out of it. Black Jack the Movie gets a good 7 out of 10 stars from me.
Reviewer’s Rating: 7
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Aug 11, 2018
Sword Gai is About a Guy Named Gai With a Sword Fighting Other Guys With Swords...
Ohhhh man, somebody tell me if this show ever conceives a single original concept to throw into the mix, but I could barely withstand the sheer onslaught of anime cliches that were catapulted into my eyes by, possibly the most lazily named show of all time Sword Gai, after episode 2. Sure, it's nice that Netflix is still going hard in the paint on their "original" anime funding, even though this pales in comparison to their work on B: The Beginning and Devilman Crybaby, but they really need to pay
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their writers as much as their animators when it comes to these shows because it seriously seems like the concept came from a brainstorming session that sounded something like "what does everyone like about every anime ever? Let's throw it in there and hope it's not a complete mess!"
Story: 3
Sword Gai is about a guy named Gai who is essentially Sasuke from Naruto but not (Natsuke?) and was born in literally the exact same way as Guts from Berserk and also loses and replaces the same arm as Guts (Gaits?). Gatsuke works as an apprentice to his adopted pops, an old school fire forging blacksmith in a story that is somehow set in the modern day with (of course) annoying high school kids, because every anime ever needs to have something to do with high school, right? The story contains enough equal amounts of cringe and edge to supply a national chainsaw juggling competition and had some serious issues trying to decide exactly who and what it wanted to focus on, instead opting to show countless underwhelming side stories and occasionally remembering to check back with the titular character of the series, Gai.
Animation: 7
This show contains a multitude of comically drawn-out firehose blood spurts that would put most B-Movies to shame and some generally great-looking overall animation when in 2D form. However, the jump to 3D, as is often the case, is where the problems start, like in the first 3D fight of the series which was literally two tiny Megazords grinding their swords together angrily for 15 seconds until one pushed the other into a wall so hard he decided to take a nap. The animators also seem to have a hard time grasping the concept of distance, because in the first episode a squad of about 6 soldiers UNLOAD every clip in their pistols on a guy with a sword standing still like 4 feet away from them only to somehow graze his face once and then knock his glasses off with a BULLET but not hit him in the head, it was honestly so stupid I wanted to smack someone involved in the making of it.
Well, if this show gets any better at some point I might come back to it, but I don't think that'll happen for quite some time, so for the time being Sword Buddy Pal Friend Guy gets a disappointing 4 outta 10 from me.
Reviewer’s Rating: 4
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Aug 10, 2018
Say What You Want About Netflix Hijacking Anime or Whatever, But This Show Was AMAZING!!!
Okay, we all know, Netflix had a VERY rough start when it came to their anime adaptation attempts, especially in live action form (though I don't think those should almost ever be attempted in the first place, but I digress) as well as a few super CGI-heavy stank bombs, but boy oh boy are they turning that track record around faster than Grandmaster Flash on hash DJing for the 100 meter dash mon amis! I hadn't even heard about this show until last night and, needless to say, I binged myself
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into a coma on it and got up very tired for work today.
The animation as a whole is astounding, some of the most fluid, fast-paced, well-edited incredible set piece littered extravaganzas I've seen in a good long time. This show essentially has the beautiful aesthetic of a Ghibli film if it was directed by the guys who made Psycho-Pass with an even more flippant desire to depict totally gruesome and disturbing murders in a gritty crime drama setting that somehow effectively flows between slapstick comedy with very likable characters to John Doe "what's in the box" moments and superhuman slash-fests amongst some of the most awe-inspiring badasses and shudder-inspiring villains in the modern medium.
The show pulls no punches, it's got all the nerve to back up its at times very dark tone and it never ceases to impress with every episode feeling more compelling and exhilirating than the last, eventually leaving ya boy praying to the Black Winged King for Season 2 to come out as quickly as the animators' hopefully not-artheritis-laden hands can sketch it up. If you like action, mystery, drama, comedy, or ya know anime, hey, you'll prolly like this show, check it out, 9 out of 10 from me folks.
Reviewer’s Rating: 9
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May 11, 2018
Tokyo Fooled...
Did I miss something?
What is happening?
Why is this happening?
Where are we?
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Where is everybody?
Who is everybody?
Why does everything and everyone look totally different?
How did we get here?
What is the meaning of life?
What is love? Baby don't hurt me, don't hurt me, no more.
I rest my case.
8 out of 10 in the animation department, 1 out of 10 in the what the fuck is going on with this story right now department, 10 out of 10 people telling me to read the manga, 0 out of 10 chance I'm gonna do that any time soon, I enjoyed the first two seasons a reasonable amount, I dunno what the hell happened at all that resulted in the current events in the story, though I'm hoping it will soon get explained, it sure looks purty though...
Reviewer’s Rating: 5
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Apr 22, 2018
The Prodigal Shadow Clone...
I went into this thing thinking what pretty much everyone likely was doing the same, wow, Naruto went on way too long with too much filler I don't even know if I want to try getting into this one or I might be a skeletal husk by the time it's halfway done. Surprisingly though, after initially thinking that I found myself at the end of the most recent episode eagerly awaiting the next one. I honestly got into this show more than the initial airing of Naruto, I was growing out of anime and more into Comedy Central shows at that time
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before Naruto Shippuden finally brought me back around while watching the end of the Great Ninja War endless filler arc with my room mates in college.
Boruto doesn't seem like the lazy cash-grab milking a cow while beating a dead horse that it initially seemed upon my first notification of the concept. Nope, the show has a lot of heart, great characters, a few fantastic fight scenes and thankfully a much more brisk pace than its predecessor with far less filler. It's a fun idea basing a show around the previous stars of the series being kind of old fogies with new responsibilities bringing order as leaders of the new generation. I always enjoy characters who actually age and develop, which is a large part of the reason Gurren Lagann is still my favorite series point blank.
If you weren't a fan of the original series at some point, it's doubtful you'll be a big fan of this though I wouldn't totally rule it out. It's a fun show with a good blend of humor and drama that brings back beloved characters and brings in lovable new ones. I'd say give it a shot and you'll know whether it's your cup of tea pretty quickly. Boruto lives up to his predecessor's legacy pretty well and gets a 7 out of 10 from me so far.
Reviewer’s Rating: 7
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Mar 14, 2018
"Wow, it's like your depraved carnal desires give you some sort of crazy courage, I wish I could be as detached from reality as you!"
This quote simultaneously sums up pretty well why I love this show so much and also ranks among the funniest fucking things I've ever heard in an anime and that's saying something. I came because I heard it was the quintessential ecchi show and I stayed because the characters are actually great, the world is cool, the story is fun and the fight scenes are pretty kick ass. Honestly wasn't expecting to care about what was happening as much as I
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did in a show that feels the need to force gratuitous nudity in at least every 2 minutes, not that I'm complaining, but I did.
The self-aware aspect of the writing and humorous take that keeps it from ever being anything less than fun, but still allows for some great character moments is one of my favorite parts of the show, even alongside all of the incredibly well-realized and animated characters. I give the English dub actors a round of applause because this show legitimately had me rolling multiple times in almost every episode. Great show, can get a bit cheesy and very over the top at times, but well worth a watch if you're looking for a little bit of romantic/action/fantasy/comedy in your watchlist, HSDxD gets an 8 outta 10 from me.
Reviewer’s Rating: 8
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Mar 9, 2018
Endless Innuendo the Show
After a while watching this series it started becoming more and more clear that you could basically replace 90% of the dialogue with narration from that old 1950s Sex Ed PSA and it would be basically the same. Instead of "So your body is changing, maybe you'll want to take Susan to the Homecoming Dance" it's "so you're becoming a parasite, soon you'll be steering your partner's booty handles in your very own FranXX." It's kind of quirky and funny that almost all of the dialogue is an innuendo of some sort, but it gets a bit tedious and excessive after
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a while.
This sense becomes especially overt and overbearing in the overall message of the show, which is essentially "Hey kids, if you're not non-stop banging all the time, you have no purpose in life and you might as well kill yourself." This is a sentiment that may make sense from the Japanese perspective, considering their current extremely low birth rates, but it seems a little harsh and mean spirited anywhere else. I mean, sure banging is fun, but your whole world shouldn't revolve around it. In college ya bang then go to class, in the real world, ya bang then go to work or pursue any number of other interests to become a well-rounded person. Though my younger frat bro wannabe self might disagree, these days death is not the only alternative to getting your dick wet 24/7 haha. But hey, it also preaches that "the power of boners is stronger than death itself and anything is possible when the end goal is getting laid," so I guess that's something.
But as I said, Japan is in dire need of some poontang promoting propaganda at the moment, so they cranked this one out and now everyone else is just kind of cringing along with it. Seeing as this deals with coming of age and going through puberty, the setting and age of the characters makes sense, but is still no less awkward to consider, especially in how they're drawn and how aggressive the constant sexual overtones are. It becomes a whole new level of weird when, as I recently did, you find out that the dude who made this also made Gurren Lagann (one of my all time favorite shows) and apparently Yoko was supposed to be like 14 in Gurren pre-time skip, I mean... WHAT!? Seriously, I still don't know how or why that's a thing.
Context aside, the animation is pretty primo, it's got a cool neo-futuristic, Tron-looking universe and interesting lore that I hope will get expanded on and make more sense as it goes on. I'm 6 episodes deep so far and still watching, mainly due to the production quality, the fact that it's made by the same people who made one of my favorite shows and is overall well-crafted, in spite of the often cringe-inducing writing. Darling in the FranXX gets a 7 out of 10 from me thus far.
Reviewer’s Rating: 7
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Feb 15, 2018
STOP. Please, just stop.
This is a disaster, this is a trainwreck, this is trash to the ten billionth degree. Who in the hell thought that it was a good idea to give one of the greatest manga franchises of all time to a terrible, inexperienced CG Studio who couldn't animate their way out of Mickey Mouse's toilet bowl? Stop, just stop already, this is tearing me apart, Lisa! Give Berserk to Trigger, give Berserk to Madhouse, give Berserk to ANYONE EVEN MODERATELY COMPETENT IN THE ART OF ANIMATION IN THE SLIGHTEST BIT AT ALL!
Why? Why does this exist? Everyone involved in the decision to
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give Berserk to this studio should be fired into the sun. If I was Miura I would be having a freaking conniption that this was what they were doing to an absolute masterpiece of a manga. The 1997 anime is a bit dated, sure, but it still looks competent, it's easily watchable, it conveys the tone, the fight choreography make this thing look like toddlers slap boxing with flimsy action figures in a play pin. Why was this CG, why was this given to this studio, just why?
Please, end it, reboot immediately with a better studio, make it stop, this is literally painful to watch. 1 out of 10, I'd give it a negative 10,000 out of 10 if I could. Stop this madness, give one of the greatest mangas of all time to a great animation studio, this will be remembered as one of the worst studio decisions in the history of the anime industry. JUST STOP, please and thank you.
Reviewer’s Rating: 1
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