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As far as hentai animations go, Victorian Maid Maria no Houshi is one of the select few that I can honestly call a masterpiece. It manages to combine realism, eroticism, and believability without f**king it up beyond belief-- a feat that most hentai series/OVAs attempting to combine these three things have failed to achieve.

STORY (9/10):
This hentai has no story whatsoever-- ironically, this works greatly in its favor. The OVA follows a day in the life of an unidentified, faceless man (likely a wealthy aristocrat or socialite, judging by the elaborate mansion that the OVA takes place in), focusing on his numerous sexual escapades with his ... maid--the voluptuous, amorous, yet highly reserved Maria. The hentai doesn't bother distracting the viewer with some half-baked plot about trivial conflicts or sadistic masters hellbent on raping everything with a vagina (a setup which, sadly, seems to go hand-in-hand with many maid-oriented hentai series these days). Instead, it simply focuses on making the sex scenes between Maria and her master as detailed and erotic as possible. By doing so, it steps far above similar hentai series in terms of quality.

ART/ANIMATION (10/10):
(Note: I'm going to be getting quite graphic with my descriptions for this part. You've been warned.)
I honestly can't find the words to describe how incredible the animation in this hentai was. The anatomy and facial expressions of Maria were some of the best that I've ever seen in an OVA. And then there's the realistic body physics-- Oh. My. God. This was honestly the first hentai I've watched that actually went out of its way to accurately depict a man's penis gradually going from flaccid to full erection, WHILE getting a blowjob. It's also one of the few that I've seen which shows realistic ejaculation, i.e. semen shooting out 6 inches into the air at most (unlike nearly every single hentai orgasm scene where the guy's dick turns into a pressurized jet hose and shoots his load up to 20 feet across the room, or blasts it out in all directions like a freaking shotgun). Even the breast physics are accurate-- every bounce and jiggle looked believable.

SOUND (10/10):
The sound in this hentai was also realistic. While there were audible wet intercourse sounds, they weren't made so loud as to sound fake, nor were they so quiet that they were almost impossible to hear. Maria's moans and breathing sounded very authentic as well. There was no background music throughout the hentai, but this seemed to work well for it. No music meant it was easier to hear every sound down to the faintest moan, which helped make the scenes more immersive.

CHARACTER (10/10):
Maria's was the only actual "character" in the hentai (as the faceless man never speaks or makes any sound). She portrays the role of the maid perfectly: She is soft-spoken, submissive, and respectful when she talks, and she puts all of her master's needs in the highest priority. At the same time, she is subtly intimate and amorous in her behavior, teasing and enticing the viewer without coming off as desperate or over-eager.

ENJOYMENT (10/10):
I'm planning to watch it again after I finish this review. Yeah, it's THAT good.

OVERALL (10/10):
Tenouttaten, would watch again... and again... and again... and again...

This just... wow. I was blown away by this one. Hi.me.go.to is undoubtedly one of the most refined hentai OVAs I've ever watched (and yes, I just used "hentai" and "refined" in the same sentence). I cannot even put into words how much I enjoyed this one.

Plot (9/10): The premise of the story is actually rather appealing. Boy wants to give it to the girl, but can't get his member hard, so he goes to an expert (i.e. the teacher) for lessons. This story did a rather good job of maintaining a teacher-student relationship between Takashi and Ms. Misaki, where she mentors and coaches him ... through the subtle art of pleasing a woman. Once she gets her car fixed and stops riding the train, Takashi finds his girlfriend Tomomi again, and demonstrates everything Ms. Misaki taught him. From the moment they are close together on the train to the end of their sex in the restroom, he touches her in all the right places. :)

Art (10/10): The art in this hentai was... my god... the art in this hentai was amazing, in a word. All of the characters were drawn in an appealing style, and the animation was incredibly fluid and believable.

Sound (10/10): This hentai made alternate use of soft, light, romantic music and quiet, mischievous, playful music, both done largely on piano. This combination set the perfect atmosphere in each scene. A bit of a foreword before I go any further: For me, the intercourse noises in a hentai play a MAJOR role in how much it arouses me. That being said, this hentai deployed the perfect intercourse sounds-- they weren't too loud, nor too soft, they had just the right amount of wetness, and they still came off as convincing.

Character (10/10): The characters in this hentai were perfectly crafted. Takashi, the quiet, reserved, yet realistically red-blooded male protagonist was perfectly complemented by the demure yet secretly naughty Ms. Misaki and the sweet, meek, adorable Tomomi.

Enjoyment (9/10): The only reason I don't give this a full 10/10 is because of one minor flaw the hentai snagged on-- the animators chose a rather large, imposing, uniform circular pixel/blur censor to cover up the genitalia. However, it also covered up much of the surrounding area every time it appeared (which also would happen rather abruptly when genitalia were exposed). It wasn't exactly the best choice for censoring, but it wasn't so bad that it detracted in any significant way from the experience this hentai gave me.

Overall (10/10): Hi.me.go.to is, without a doubt, a masterpiece in hentai. I'm definitely keeping this one in my favorites collection.

Tenouttaten. Would fap again.

- WARNING: THIS REVIEW CONTAINS HEAVY SPOILERS -
I literally decided to join this site just so I could write a review to inform people of what a train-wreck this hentai was (Translation: This is my first time writing a review for a hentai, so bear with me if I make mistakes). I find this especially necessary because, respectfully speaking, whoever wrote the synopsis has grossly mis-portrayed the way this hentai plays out. Note that this is the only time I will ever write a review with so much exposition in it. I apologize for doing so, but it's necessary to realize how low-quality this hentai ... is.

I decided to watch Haha Sange expecting a story about a son who seemingly assaults his mother and sister, making them think he hates them, only to reveal that his father is a faithless piece of crap showing that he really does care (I am being deliberately corny right now) and convinces them to let him be the one to pleasure them for the rest of their lives.


- SPOILERS BEGIN HERE -



STORY (2/10): What I got instead was a depressing, heartless story of a kid who blames his stepmother for driving out his real mother and taking her place (when in reality she was in the dark about her now-husband's shameless infidelity even before they got married) and resolves to rape her for what he thinks she "did" to his family. I know that this is supposed to be hentai, and that logic doesn't necessarily have a place here, but Haha Sange shoots straight past the fine line and goes for utter-bullshit-grade rationalism. Tomonori (the "protagonist" of the story) is one of the most narrow-minded, sadistic idiots I've seen in a hentai.

In the course of this series, he gets into a passionate, (w)incestuous romantic relationship with his willing stepsister, rapes his stepmother multiple times, and only reveals proof of his father's adulterous escapades to her AFTER he has physically, emotionally, and mentally traumatized her. The depressing bits don't stop there-- things continue spiral downward until the story culminates in a nearly-mindbroken stepmother having sex with Tomonori, and then dragging his horrified stepsister into it and pretty much raping her.

The final nail in the coffin came for me when the writers thought it would be funny to end the story by revealing that it was all just the ideal fantasy of some otaku at an adult video store looking for a video depicting it all.

- SPOILERS END HERE -

The only-- and I mean only-- redeeming feature about this hentai was the box cover art.

Even then, it betrays the poor quality of the content within.

ART (4/10): There's always a measure of difference between the art style and quality of the cover art (which is designed to make the video appealing to you before you even see it), and the art style and quality of the hentai itself-- I simply call this measure the "Cover-to-Screen difference", measured on a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being an animation that mimics the art quality of the cover art almost or entirely flawlessly, and 10 being an animation whose quality is extremely poor compared to the cover art.

On the Cover-to-Screen difference scale, Haha Sange went up to 11. The artwork looks nothing like what is depicted on the cover (not even the styles are remotely similar). The colors used are washed out and dull, the animation looks like it was rushed together, and the bodily physics and motions during the sex scenes are utter crap. And then there's the censorship-- oh, GOD, the censorship. Whoever censored this thing obviously never heard of using a finely-pixeled censor to cover naughty bits, and instead went with the big blocky pixel censors that they use to completely obscure people's faces on COPS. Genitalia were all but unrecognizable in this hentai, and the censoring was extremely intrusive-- every face, or hand, or other body part that came within an inch of the censored genitalia became a blocky unidentifiable mass.

Sound (3/10): I would've given this a 6, if not for the fact that the makers tried to get "creative" and did things like inserting the sound of glass shattering every time Tomonori gets deeper in his mom during the first Tomonori/mother sex scene. I'm fairly sure they were trying to make it "symbolic" or something for how he was shattering every last vestige of purity she had or something, but it just came off as creepy and extremely UNarousing. And then there was the choice of music they used. The music in the Tomonori/sister scenes was passable, but the stuff they used in the Tomonori/mother scenes and the big rapey 3-way at the end sounded like it came out of a horror movie.

Character (3/10): Tomonori, the protagonist, was one of the most narrow-minded, sadistic, and unlikeable characters I've seen in a hentai. The makers try to get you to feel sorry for him with the backstory about his father abandoning Tomonori's ill, dying mother and carousing with his now-stepmother, but he acts like such a cruel, heartless bastard that you just feel contempt for him, nothing else.

ENJOYMENT (2/10): In case my tirade at the beginning didn't give it away, I was disgusted with this hentai.

OVERALL (3/10): You'd have to put a gun to my head to make me fap to this.