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Why can love make you feel so lonely?

Hanabi and Mugi are a “fake" high school couple. They are both in love with teachers at their school. It’s not just a naive “I love the teacher” romance, but something far more interesting. Hanabi has a crush on her childhood friend who is now her homeroom teacher. But, he only sees her as the little girl whom he took care of like a sister. Mugi fell in love with his former tutor, currently a music teacher. However, she pretends to not notice his stares and glances. Brought together by their mutual loneliness, Hanabi and Mugi are just ... using each other as substitutes for their true feelings. It sounds like awful relationship, but for them it’s much better than being alone.

If that sounds depressing, that’s not all there is to it. They aren’t lucky enough to live out their faux romance in peace. In their minds, they constantly agonize over their feelings and question if this is what they really want. Then at every turn, someone else wants to take over their already warped and distorted love lives. The people around them seem single-mindedly tunnel-visioned on their own ideal of love - willing to hurt others and sadly even themselves to get what they believe would make them happy.

This is a story filled to the brim with the dirty and smutty side of love. Unrequited love. Forbidden love. Love as a form of abusable power over others. It’s safe to say this isn't a show for the average anime viewer. Instead of a normal plot of building up drama and suspense to get a payoff of warm, happy feelings at the end. We have a love story that repeatedly makes you feel worse - to the point that you as the viewer might feel abused. Characters do awful things that are meant to make you feel a mix of disgust and pity. Drama in the story develops like a slow throbbing pain with twists and turns stemming from selfishness and lust. You constantly fear everything will keep getting worse. To use the blanket term "love story" would be a bit disingenuous.

But for that reason, I believe Kuzu no Honkai is something special. If I didn’t scare you away by telling you what the story is about, then you’re in for a gorgeous anime. Everything from beautiful animation to distinctively crisp voice acting to scene directing makes it a great example of anime done right. The artistic style and character design were great but the sound editing and voice acting absolutely stood out of the most. What feels like half the show is done in internal thoughts and monologues, which really allows for the voice acting to shine. The characters seem like they are speaking directly into your ears. Directing for the animation is done with a clearly artistic direction to carry the concept as far as possible. Psychological and emotional scenarios are brought to life with gorgeous art and visual effects. Intimate scenes are crafted so well that you can’t help but feel a bit awkward for prying into someone else’s life.

I really can’t stop praising how well this anime handled such an ugly topic. For what it sets out to do, Kuzu no Honkai does an amazing job. It almost too ambitiously tackles all the ugly parts of romance. And it doesn’t baby us with the naive approach of telling us how to deal with all of these problems - there’s no pretending that they have the answers and no goal to make us feel good. As a viewer, don't take this show at face value - especially in real life, there isn't always a clear resolution. Love can make you feel terrible, but it’s ultimately just part of regular human life.

For anyone who wants to watch an anime that breaks the traditional romance mold in order to reach something more genuine, watch this anime.

As a side note, even though the characters weren’t designed to be adored, I think Hanabi is just too precious for this world.

One of the most satisfying survival game manga I’ve ever read.

As an avid fan of survival manga, I believe Kamisama no Iutoori stretches the potential of a survival game. The plot is predictable with level by level progression, but the character growth shows the true value of being constantly forced through life-death situations. Instead of being attached to the distant ultimate ending, you become close to the characters, get invested in their lives, and watch them get slaughtered. The character-focused story takes the importance away from the fallacy that the games themselves need to be interesting. Overwhelmingly complex rules and convoluted strategy are boring. I ... read survival manga to suffer, triumph, and love as though I'm a character in the story.

Friends die. Enemies die. Your beloved dies. Play stupid game after stupid game. A miscalculation, mistake, defeat means another friend dies. There’s no time to mourn. You’re welcome to breathe that sigh of relief when you survive, but it’s not over yet. It’s never over. When you find yourself out of friends, you have to open your heart again. Feel free to trust strangers because they will become your dear friends until death do you part.

There's no true divine protection that you can rely on. Strong or weak; lovable or detestable; beef or chicken. Ultimately death is unavoidable. You can’t always hope for a savior to gallop in at the last second. Eventually all you can do is wish for a beautiful death - too bad that may be asking for too much. Some are fortunate enough to shine like a star before being extinguished. Others are unceremoniously swept away like trash. But supposedly it's better to lived and lost than never to have lived at all.

Survival is an actual achievement. When you meet other survivors, you can understand what they went through. Players are forced to continue to play game after game while carrying the hopes and dreams of their fallen. In order to survive, you betray who you thought you were, fight against every human instinct, and grow closer to the true you. The journey to victory and godhood is paved with the sacrifice of those who believe in you the most.

Kamisama no Iutoori does a great job at avoiding the annoying compromises that other survival manga make to the idea of survival. Perhaps you can call me a sadist. I love watching well-written characters die. Unlike in other survival manga where writers become too attached to their favorite characters or fear backlash for killing off someone popular, there is no true mercy. Not everyone gets a hero's drawn out blaze of glory. There simply isn't enough time for that. Sometimes, a beloved character's death is a just few panels, just a momentary realization that they died. But it makes you appreciate them for how much they changed and far they came. Remembering the lives of characters who have died is what makes survival stories fun.

And let's just say I had a lot of fun. Enjoy the games :)