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You know, Comic Artist and His Assistants was so close to being a recommended anime for me. It's both funny in sad in its all too real portrayal of the modern Japanese man; awkward, anti-social, unable to properly talk to women or distinguish fantasy from reality. it could have worked as either a lampooning of the ecchi genre or just straight up ecchi with social commentary and I would have lauded it as one of the more standout horny comedies. It was so close. But the problem is it wants to sexualize women who look prepubescent in the creepiest possible manner. It's one thing to ... take an adult woman who is five-foot-nothing and lacks large... tracts of land, and sexualize her. It's not unheard of in real life and women like this deserve a chance to be represented in adult media. It's another thing to put said woman in little girls' dresses and treat them like children while also sexualizing them. Because now you have unlocked some uncomfortable fetishes that shouldn't be animated and streamed to the public. Hell, they even sexualize one of them before we realize she's an adult.

If this had stuck with being a parody or at least set up boundaries to not cross then it would have been great. It has the setting and it has the humor, it just can't stop stumbling over its own shoelaces. Especially when it gets to the OVAs, which trucked along fine until the fifth installment, which should be sent in a rocket ship to the moon. I have nothing else to add to this the way most reviewers do. The animation is standard for the era, the characters are all stereotypes of the genre, the show is overall brief and can be blown through in roughly three hours (OVAs included). I just wish it hadn't gone in the direction it went in.

For those anime fans who grew up in the early 2000s, you may remember a time when Walmart carried a series of dollar DVDs packaged in thin cases from a company called Digiview Entertainment. Most of these were either old animated adaptations of Bible stories and fairy tales, but the most memorable of their library was a series of knockoff anime from Korea. These anime movies were riddled with some of the worst low-budget animation, terrible dubs, nonsensical stories, and some of the most blatant copying you will ever see in any medium.

Most of these productions were of the mecha variety, which is a ... genre of anime involving giant robots piloted by humans fighting off aliens or other giant robots. Think of the Megazord from Power Rangers or Pacific Rim. And if you're a masochist like me then you've seen all of these movies. I used to think the worst of the batch was Space Thunder Kids, a film that is literally just a stitched-up Frankenstein creation of a collection of other Digiview distributed productions. I'm not kidding. But at least Space Thunder Kids was enjoying in its jaw-dropping ineptitude. I was able to watch that movie three times and each time was more hilarious than the last because I got to introduce other unsuspecting victims to one of the strangest anime films ever made. But Super Kid isn't even worthy of torturing others because in the end, nobody comes out laughing after watching this shit.

Now Super Kid isn't actually a Digiview released film, but it does have all of the trademarks of one. The film was produced in Korea and features stolen ideas and even copied the art style of Akira Toriyama, the creator of Dragon Ball. I've had this movie on my radar for quite some time now because the idea of a cheap Korean knockoff of Dragon Ball sounds like it was made specifically for my enjoyment. The major problem is that a physical copy is extremely rare to find, and what uploads I found on YouTube were poorly digitally zoomed-in, which made the viewing experience distracting. Then I found out that this low-resolution digitally zoomed-in version is the only way to watch Super Kid. So I conceded. And it's rare for me to say that I had low expectations going in, and yet I'm still disappointed.

Here's the one positive I have to say about Super Kid that kept it from being one of only a handful of half-star movies I've seen: there was potential for an entertaining movie here. I'm serious. I'm a firm believer that if you're going to rip off a well-known property, at least have fun with it. And this story had the makings of something enjoyably riffable. Where it fails is in taking inspiration from the original Dragon Ball without understanding what made Toriyama's work funny. So not only does this thing have a bootleg Dragon Ball aesthetic, but it also has bootleg Dragon Ball humor. Nothing in this story is ever taken seriously and all of the characters are exaggerations of the most annoying Toriyama creations. So what we're left with is a story that builds up the possibility of world-shattering situations, but the outcome is always filled with painfully unfunny slapstick complimented by an overly exaggerated dub reminiscent of the comedic relief sidekicks in every 80's cartoon. Imagine if Toriyama wrote everything from the Saiyan Saga onward, but his writing ability never evolved beyond the early Kid Goku stories.

But the worst sin this movie commits is having a 105-minute runtime. The average runtime for one of these Korean anime is 75 minutes, which is palatable for any bad movie. A quick screenwriting tip: If you're going to intentionally write a bad movie, keep it under 90 minutes. Super Kid at least doesn't have a lot of padding, but with all of the characters at their disposal the writers never took the time to develop them, this causes a major problem during the finale, which feels cheap and lackluster. Just like the rest of the movie. This is a story that was clearly planned and fleshed out (at least more so than others of its kind), and this combined with some okay animation by the low budget standards of its predecessors Super Kid is the best in at least that category. But there's no charm, no hilariously bad animation, no nonsensical story, nothing of substance to laugh at with friends. And that brings me back to the runtime. Super Kid feels like an eternity. It took me almost a full day to finish and even then I had to start writing this review while I let it play on my phone in front of me because the chore of focusing on this thing for more than ten minutes was too much of a hassle.

If you want an enjoyable cheesy experience, look up Digiview Entertainment's library and watch any of its anime releases. Hell, I'd even recommend checking out Laserhawk. They're awful and I love them because of that. Meanwhile, Super Kid may be the worst anime I've ever seen, and that's saying a lot coming from the guy who makes it his goal to watch as many notoriously bad anime as possible. But at least most of the bad anime I've watched has had some semblance of enjoyment in their ineptitude. Even Dog Soldier, the most boring anime I've ever seen, was brief and left like a fart in the wind. Super Kid is the type of flick that lingers and festers. And just when you think it's hit its crescendo of shit it reaches new heights of sucking. Super Kid is that bad.

Afro Samurai is actually a great example of how one character can almost completely destroy an otherwise great viewing experience. On my Letterboxd account, I have a list of annoying characters that almost ruined good movies for me. Examples included Last Action Hero, The Seventh Curse, and Temple of Doom. And Afro Samurai absolutely belongs in that category.

Everything about Afro Samurai, with the exception of Ninja Ninja, is great. I love Sam Jackson in the dual role, he seems like he's having a blast. I also think the art style is stylish and fun in its outlandishness, the story is solid and dark, and I ... loved the creativity that went into the character designs. But as I said, the one exception to an otherwise fine anime is Ninja Ninja.

SPOILER ALERT: Ninja Ninja is Afro Samurai's conscience. He's a more outgoing and wackier version of Afro and he acts as the hesitant side of Afro that he tries to suppress. And personally, without a character like Ninja Ninja Afro Samurai, the show would suffer. Because the character of Afro as an adult is your standard code of honor, way of the sword, strong silent type that you envision when you think of a samurai. Think something like Samurai Jack. And if we were left without a more vibrant sidekick we wouldn't be as interested in Afro because he says almost nothing, does nothing but kill, and overall has no personality. And there's nothing wrong with that type of character, but you need someone by their side to lighten the mood and build the character up. The sad thing is, however, that that character is Ninja Ninja.

Ninja Ninja is unbearably annoying. It wouldn't be so grating if he were a much lesser supporting character, but he's around every time Afro is on-screen. So he's with us every step of the way. And along the way Ninja does nothing but loudly proclaim useless things and provide nothing to anything. He's just there to be a pain in the ass. And again, it wouldn't be so bad if the character were written differently. I don't mind a more exaggerated version of Afro, I just hate that it's this character.

And really, that's my only issue with Afro Samurai. Sure, the story isn't anything grand, but it's serviceable when paired with the beautiful artwork, killer soundtrack, great voice acting, and stellar fight scenes. The story is just there to keep the violence going. But personally, it was hard to enjoy the show with Ninja Ninja constantly butting in to give his two cents and generally be a nuisance. If he were any other annoying character in an anime/manga like Chi-Chi from DBZ or Puck from Berserk he'd be less of an eyesore because in the larger story he'd be a more minor player, and therefore less of a hindrance to the enjoyment of the series. But as it stands I don't think I'll be watching Afro Samurai again unless a friend wants to watch it with me because I just can't bear to listen to any more of Ninja Ninja.

As a fan of Old school Shonen anime and manga, I knew since the start of my journey to absorb everything shonen I could find that I’d eventually have to tackle not only one of the most famous fighting stories, but one of the best selling and longest running manga period, Hirohiko Araki’s JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure.



JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure has been in publication since 1987 and tells the adventures of the Joestar Family. The history of the Joestar Family tree is complicated and long-winded, so I’ll have to give a history lesson when I’m more knowledgeable on the subject. For now, I’m talking about where it ... all started, with Johnathan Joestar and Dio Brando.



I had no idea what to expect from JoJo. Obviously a beloved manga with a rich history and storyline, but aside from the main character always being a Joestar and every character being built like a brick wall I didn’t know exactly what I was getting into, only that it’s a cherished piece of Japanese pop culture that has seeped into the hearts and minds of westerners more recently. But even with the zero expectations, I still found myself surprised.



The first thing that struck me about Phantom Blood, the first arc, is Araki’s hyper-detailed art style. Araki’s ability to draw depth and definition and to bring life to environments was nothing short of spectacular to me. But as I kept reading I started noticing cracks in Araki’s drawing ability. For starters, EVERY male character has the build of a Greek God. Even the children have forearms I’d kill for. And no matter what a character is wearing, be it a tailored suit or a smoking jacket, it fits almost as if it were painted on. Every bulging muscle is well defined in every article of clothing worn, which creates this almost parody of 80’s Shonen Fighter physiques. And despite what I said about Araki’s ability to draw these hyper human forms he does slip frequently into the Rob Liefeld wasteland of talent, with characters’ bodies morphing into enormous tumor filled sack and postures bordering and sometimes fully committing to the painfully awkward and implausible. This doesn’t mean that I think Araki is in any way a bad artist. The man showed clear talent and unique flair in his early career that I’m sure has evolved and grown as his career has continued. It’s just strange to me to see someone with clear talent showing no control or knowledge of anatomy or perspective at times. It's hard to rate the art here because sometimes it borders on a perfect ten, while occasionally slumping into a four.



The story of JoJo is just as outlandish as its art, with the nefarious Dio Brando coming to live with the Joestar’s after the death of his father. The sibling quarrels and sadistic tendencies of Dio create a slow burn that quickly elevates once Dio dons the stone mask. It’s at this point that the story quickly kicks from first to fifth gear and goes off the deep end. Dio becomes an unstoppable, immortal vampire zombie, and Jonathan becomes a 6’ 4” 230lbs juggernaut of unbridled strength. And it’s here where the story goes full Mad Bull 34. For those of you who have never read Mad Bull 34, imagine if steroids and cocaine became a sentient being that grew up to become a mangaka. That mangaka would create Mad Bull 34. Phantom Blood is Mad Bull set in England during the late 19th century. Unbelievable body proportions, ludicrous amounts of blood and gore, gruesome deaths. It gets a 7 from me purely because of how enjoyable it was in its ludicrousy.

The characters and their development are nothing special. Johnathan Joestar is your typical Shonen hero who must overcome seemingly insurmountable odds to save the world. He's a kind, gentle soul who can also shatter bones with a mere thought. Dio is your stereotypical Shonen villain: pure evil down to his core. Araki obviously wrote Dio to be the most irredeemable character possible and he did a damn good job at it. There also isn't much to say about the supporting cast. Johnathan is later joined by Speedwagon and Baron Zeppeli, who aid him in his quest to find and destroy his rival and the stone mask that created him. Baron Zeppeli provides a solid mentor role for Johnathan, teaching him how to do the Hamon, an ancient form of martial arts that is the only form of hand-to-hand combat that can kill the now indestructible Dio. Speedwagon is pretty useless. He's a street thug who comes to respect Johnathan for his fighting ability and tries his best to assist him as his lackey in any way he can. He's kind, yet hot-headed, but ultimately serves no purpose and could have been completely left out.

While I can’t say I find Phantom Blood good in the sense that I think it’s a classic story, I can say I enjoyed part one of Araki’s manga in the same way I enjoyed Mad Bull 34. Both are junk food entertainment in the same vein as Battle Beyond the Stars and Yor, the Hunter from the Future. There’s no substance, everything is hilariously exaggerated, and it never stops finding new ways to surprise you. So I guess you could say that JoJo both exceeded and fell short of my expectations. With such a dedicated fan base and legacy as JoJo has I was expecting something completely different than what I got, but I can’t say I was let down by this experience. While it doesn’t come close to works such as Dragon Ball Z or One Piece, JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure has definitely been a fun ride that I can’t wait to continue.