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May 16, 2012
If Koji Suzuki is Japan's Stephen King, than freaknugget Junju Ito might be their Clive Barker.
In this rather confused adaptation of Ito's "Gyo" Manga, the visceral disgust is so palpable you can feel it clogging up your pores and discoloring your upholstery. Oddly enough, the characters in the story don't seem to notice. Sure, occasionally, they wrinkle their nose and remark about "that smell", but seem oblivious to the rank miasma....even when it becomes a thick yellowish-brown fog bank smeared across the screen.
Story
Gyo shows the early stages of a new kind of Zombie Apocalypse when cyborg fish-corpses invade Japan to infect and assimilate all animal
...
life. The mystery, left tantalizingly unexplained by the movie, is where the spiderwalker mechs came from. Although the early models were made by some crackpot in Hirohito's WWII R&D department, the millions of newer, sleeker walkers came from somewhere else. At least three possibilities are momentarily mentioned, and the film annoyingly leaves them completely unexplored.
Art
The art is clean to the point of sterility. Which utterly defeats the story's goal of making the viewer feel soiled and violated.
The mechanized fish army were a glory to behold and the robosharks moved with a mixture of sleekness and clumsiness that was both menacing and alien.
Character
Although I didn't hate the protagonists, I wasn't all that enamored with them either. I'm sure there were other characters whose plight would've been more engaging and it was a shame we never got to see their story instead.
As I mentioned earlier, they all seemed to be sleepwalking through this calamity, not reacting to all the stimuli. At first it seems like they are in shock, but they never get past that point.
When your main characters get upstaged by robotic sharks, you know that something has gone horribly wrong somewhere.
Enjoyment
Gyo had an interestingly offbeat premise, and a mystery worth exploring. Such a shame the cast of characters weren't equipped to engage me.
Reviewer’s Rating: 7
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May 16, 2012
(This review applies to the entire series, both the 1993 and the 2000 continuation episodes. Though the second half, especially the last three episodes, is noticeably superior.)
Yes, it is certainly bizarre.
JoJo is the thinking man's surrealist DBZ. Except instead of endless 3-frame loops of tedious "fight animation" it has sudden, subtle, blink-and-you'll-miss-it fight scenes. In it, weird fighters use weird powers in weird ways; typically by outwitting -- rather than merely overpowering -- their opponents.
The series' greatest strength is the unexpected, shocking oddity of it. Whenever you think the series is about to devolve into fighting game cliche, something utterly bugfuck happens. A villain will
...
gleefully and intentionally decapitates himself to show his badassery. A dog addicted to coffee flavored chewing gum kicks ass with a voodoo sandstorm. Somebody telekinetically stops his own heart. A man with two left hands...I-I-I can't explain it. Oh, did I mention that most characters are named after random popstars?
The greatest weakness is the needlessly idiotic character models. Each character model includes numerous, distracting, embarrassing design choices like stupid clothes, inexplicable hair and mindbogglingly moronic jewelry. Jotaro's has a 50 lb chain hanging from his lapel and a hat that might be just a visor made of hairgel. Abdul (named after singer Paula Abdul) has hair like an untidy pile of soupcans and a necklace which might actually be the world's heaviest and least comfortable set of earrings. Even the final boss, Dio Brando, looks like a Hakuto no Ken villain re-imagined by Bronies. And then there's Polnareff. Fucking Polnareff. Good lord, Dorkula...cut back on the styling mouse, dude. You look like a cracker cosplay of the skinny guy from Kid'n'Play!
Only two characters aren't dressed like retarded clowns: Joseph Joestar, who looks like Richard Branson cosplaying as Indiana Jones; and Iggy....who is a dog and therefore doesn't wear fucked-up clothes or psychotic earrings.
Story.
Although it descends into wonderfully addlepated madness in the details, the overall plot can be boiled down to: Team of super-powered badasses travel around the world to kick the Big Bad Evil Guy is his smug face. After fighting all his super-powered henchmen first. Rinse Repeat.
Art
The art is nothing special. Perfectly workmanlike if you can get past the insane character models I ranted about above.
Sound
The sound effects used by the various Stands were oddly memorable, unlike the music which left no impressions at all. The voice acting (in the English dub) was slightly above average.
Character
Although each character is initially off-putting, they do grow on you. Yes, even Polnareff won me over.
Enjoyment
This series is viscerally fun and memorably deranged. It doesn't merely zig when you expect it to zag. It zrbft's and then zlrfts.
This is would DBZ would be like if it wasn't vapid, and what BoboBo BoBoBoBo would've been if that show hadn't lived off a diet of paint chips and monoxide.
Reviewer’s Rating: 8
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May 16, 2012
(This review applies to the entire series, both the 1993 and the 2000 continatuion episodes.)
Yes, it is certainly bizarre.
JoJo is the thinking man's surrealist DBZ. Except instead of endless 3-frame loops of tedious "fight animation" it has sudden, subtle, blink-and-you'll-miss-it fight scenes. In it, weird fighters use weird powers in weird ways; typically by outwitting -- rather than merely overpowering -- their opponents.
The series' greatest strength is the unexpected, shocking oddity of it. Whenever you think the series is about to devolve into fighting game cliche, something utterly bugfuck happens. A villain will gleefully and intentionally decapitates himself to show his badassery. A dog addicted
...
to coffee flavored chewing gum kicks ass with a voodoo sandstorm. Somebody telekinetically stops his own heart. A man with two left hands...I-I-I can't explain it. Oh, did I mention that most characters are named after random popstars?
The greatest weakness is the needlessly idiotic character models. Each character model includes numerous, distracting, embarrasing design choices like stupid clothes, inexplicable hair and mindbogglingly moronic jewelry. Jotaro's has a 50 lb chain hanging from his lapel and a hat that might be just a visor made of hairgel. Abdul (named after singer Paula Abdul) has hair like an untidy pile of soupcans and a necklace which might actually be the world's heaviest and least comfortable set of earrings. Even the final boss, Dio Brando, looks like a Hakuto no Ken villain reimagined by Bronies. And then there's Polnareff. Fucking Polnareff. Good lord, Dorkula...cut back on the styling mouse, dude. You look like a cracker cosplay of the skinny guy from Kid'n'Play!
Only two characters aren't dressed like retarded clowns: Joseph Joestar, who looks like Richard Branson cosplaying as Indiana Jones; and Iggy....who is a dog and therefore doesn't wear fucked-up clothes or psychotic earrings.
Story.
Although it descends into wonderfully addlepated madness in the details, the overall plot can be boiled down to: Team of super-powered badasses travel around the world to kick the Big Bad Evil Guy is his smug face. After fighting all his superpowered henchmen first. Rinse Repeat.
Art
The art is nothing special. Perfectly workmanlike if you can get past the insane character models I ranted about above.
Sound
The sound effects used by the various Stands were oddly memorable, unlike the music which left no impressions at all. The voice acting (in the english dub) was slightly above average.
Character
Although each character is initially off-putting, they do grow on you. Yes, even Polnareff won me over.
Enjoyment
This series is viscerally fun and memorably deranged. It doesn't merely zig when you expect it to zag. It zrbft's and then zlrfts.
This is would DBZ would be like if it wasn't vapid, and what BoboBo BoBoBoBo would've been if that show hadn't lived off a diet of paint chips and monoxide.
Reviewer’s Rating: 7
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Mar 27, 2012
Berserk shows what happens when a cartoon bad-ass fulfills the whims of a Mary Sue: Hacky-Slashy Swords and Sorcery Mayhem...THATS what happens.
The overarching plot of Berserk is the rise and fall of a mercenary army called the Band of the Hawk; especially from the POV of the three most formidable members:
Guts, a Barbarian with anger control issues and a huge penis ext...I mean a huge sword to vent that anger on anyone within 15 feet of him....
Casca, an Action-Chick stuck in a pre-Feminist era that can't appreciate a badass who is also a female. and....
Griffith, a super-Charismatic warlord who is so 'perfect' in every
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way, he almost qualifies as a Mary Sue; but not really....because he actually IS a deep character.
Let me explain:
While a good solid third of the dialogue is one long tonguebath about how amazing and perfect Griffith is, he doesn't engender hatred in the watcher, because he actually is a compelling character. A commoner who subtly wants to subvert the corrupt aristocracy; a king without an empire; a manipulator who is manipulating for the right cause. He is glorious and doomed. A young King Arthur on the outside, but Elric of Melnibone on the inside.
Also, Griffith is NOT the main character of Berserk; the well coiffed but borderline psychotic Guts is.
Guts starts the story as a crazed engine of destruction who must kill "to make the voices in his head stop screaming" and only begins to learn to channel his vast strength, bloodlust and power with the tutelage of Casca and Griffith.
This leads to a constantly shifting, lopsided three-way love triangle between 3 strong personalities, that grows more strained as the terrors of war, conspiracy and black magic take their toll.
Story:
This three-way character study -- about the nature of ambition and loyalty -- takes place within a multi-year epic military drama. The standard fantasy trope of warring knights and battlefield chivalry is given a ruthless subversion...the "good guy" empire of Midland is shown to be a stolid, unjust morass of complacent Aristocrats who look down their noses at commoners who are their betters. This is the system that Guts, Casca and Griffith wish to subtly overthrow....not knowing there are dark forces who wish to use their ambitions to advance their own more nihilistic agenda.
Art:
The animation is deeply problematic. Whenever the animators cut corners in Berserk, they don't stop at merely carving off the corners. Good lord, there are moments of shockingly shoddy animation in this show. While the battle sections are usually passable, some sequences contain glaring moments of clunky gracelessness that wouldn't be out of place in a early 80s, low budget Saturday morning fare. Too much of this animation was delegated to Korean C-Listers.
What makes up for this deficiency is the strength of the character models. Firstly, they exhibit a wide range of subtle skin tones; secondly, they have plausible and functional weapons and armor (well, except for Guts' absurd 20 foot lunger Buster Sword); and thirdly -- and most impressively, scars suffered in one battle remain on the character for the remainder of the story. This level of craftsmanship makes up for the painful jerkiness in the bad patches.
Sound:
The dub acting is above average. The sound effects are nothing to write home about. The music is functional.
Character:
The characters make up for the so-so sound and flaky animation. The interpersonal drama between The thug-with-a-heart-of-gold Guts, the amazonian Casca and the doomed archetype Griffith are what make this show worth watching.
Enjoyment:
I ate all 25 episodes of this show in three gulps; and wanted more.
I sincerely hope that there is a new season that continues where this left off.
Reviewer’s Rating: 8
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Feb 17, 2012
How about a game of chess?
One with uncontested control over life and death as the prize?
Death Note is an odd fish. The Protagonist is also the villain.
Light Yagami is the perfect little golden boy with a sharp, quick and powerful intellect; but he is also a murderous sociopath with a god complex, and a occult notebook that allows him to anonymously inflict his absolutist worldview on a defenseless society.
That is, until an eccentric detective with a sharp, quick and powerful intellect rivalling Light's own interferes.
What follows is a Xanatos Chess Match of multi-teired crosses/double-crosses/triple-crosses where the two main characters search for clues to their enemies
...
identity. Each taking turns being the Cat in this game of Cat and Mouse.
It all leads to Light Yagami's Shakespeare style decent into corruption and madness; while his crackpot opposite number crouches, unblinking in the dim LCD light and unravels Light's tangled skein of lies.
It is quite compelling, with unexpected plot twists and fascinatingly driven characters.
Just when things start to get stale, suddenly the table not only turns but is violently flipped over. Copycats, memory deletions, occult exploits, psychodrama.
Never a dull moment.
I do have two minor quibbles with the series.
1) Some of the later "twists" that pull Light's fat out of the fire come seemingly out of nowhere. I suspect that these twists make more sense in the Manga, and it's merely a case of sloppy adaptation.
2) The music is awful.
Not just the incidental music (of which there are, what...two, maybe three leitmotifs repeated ad nauseum.) but the opening and closing credit themes are utter garbage. The first 19 episodes open with a numbingly blah bit of bad Fox4Kids JRock...but episodes 20-37 open with a diabolically shitty slab of inept death-metal-esque horse-twaddle. It makes one glad their is a skip button.
So, there you have it.
Death Note:
A police procedural on blotter acid. A supernatural thriller with wit and chutzpah.
The Good Kind of Bad Craziness.
Reviewer’s Rating: 9
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Feb 8, 2012
In this period piece, an angry teenager brutally avenges himself against a conspiracy through the power of his Bishounen employee.
In 'Black Butler' a bitter and furious 12-year old member of the Landed Gentry plots his revenge, Kira-style, on a deranged cult secretly infecting the British Empire.
He does this by siccing his hyper-competent butler on them.
No, really. It may sound silly, but it's actually awe-inspiring.
It works because the two main characters are so well realized. They are both fascinating to watch. One doomed and tragic; the other a razor-sharp cipher. Their relationship, a mutually predatory one, where they tear the flesh off their enemies before
...
finally turning on one another.
Ciel Phantomhive, the last surviving member of an Aristocratic Family, serves the Crown as "The Queen's Guard Dog"; a shady troubleshooter, who solves supernatural mysteries in her majesties Realm, by any means necessary. He does this through guile and brute force, without the slightest hint of fear, because he is fueled by an bottomless pool of rage, and a fatalistic acceptance of his fate.
He is "assisted" in this role by the titular Black Butler, Sebastian.
On the surface, Sebastian appears to merely be an extremely competent servant -- a pillar of Victorian decorum and dignity, always dapper and clean -- but can, at a single command from his pint-sized superior, he becomes a whirling engine of terror and destruction.
In this mode, Sebastian isn't so much a weapon, but more like a relentless force of nature. Not so much deployed, rather just pointed in a direction and ordered to demolish everything in front of him.
All the while, he wears a faint smile, as if he is the only one who is in on the joke.
I'd say Sebastian is perfect, with not a hair out of place, but his hair IS perpetually out of place. His character model has a deeply anachronistic hairstyle that is not only out of place for the time period, it is out of place for a butler.
I do understand that his hairstyle is there for the fangirls to go squee over, but occasionally it takes one out of the moment to see a Victorian-era British Butler with a Visual-Kei coiffure.
I think the only real glaring problem with Kuroshitsuji is the comedic elements. There are, especially in the beginning of series, heaping piles of stupid super-deformed slapstick, especially dealing with the other four servants of the Phantomhive household. The cook, groundskeeper, maid and sub-Butler are all varying degrees of loudly incompetent. Most insufferable is Mey-Rin (who is voiced by the usually much better Monica Rial), whose shrill caterwauling will make you scrambling to switch to the Japanese Dubtrack just to escape her shrieky babbling.
Also, their British accents are the most glaringly fake in the whole show.
So, there you have it.
'Black Butler' is what you get when you mix 'Jeeves and Wooster' with a Gothed-out Late 1800's-era 'X-Files'; well, that is if Wooster was a pint-sized Bruce Wayne instead of a buffoon and Jeeves was...well, Satan.
No, that is not a spoiler.
It becomes unambiguously apparent from the frist few minutes of the first episode what kind of Faustian relationship exists between the two main protagonists.
Knowing this makes Ciel's angst (at how far he had to sink in order to avenge himself) more understandable; and why Sebastian's calm, patient demeanor contains a faint whiff of contempt in it. It's not because he's snooty and thinks he's superior to the mere rabble. It is because He IS superior to the mere rabble.
This makes his rogueish charm all the more disturbing.
Reviewer’s Rating: 9
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Feb 2, 2012
If the opening credit sequence is to be belived, Mohiro Kitoh's "Shadow Star Narutaru" is a cutesy-pie "Azumanga Daioh"-ish kids show about adorable middle-schoolers playing with their happy little Pokeymans.
Don't be fooled.
Narutaru does to that genre what "Utena" does to the magickal girl show or "Evangelion" does to the super-robot show. It traumatizes it before feeding it face-first to the abyss.
Plotwise, it follows the (mis)adventures of three girls, brash and confident Shiina, deeply troubled Sakura and half-confident/half-troubled Hiroko. Shiina discovers a cartoony starfish...um...familiar...that can shapeshift into useful shapes like backpack, flying surfboard, protective bubble, etc.
At first, this is liberating and fun...and the show pretends to
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be a "My Neighbor Totoro" set in modern times. But she is not the only one with a "dragonet" familiar...and not all of these creatures are nice; neither are their owners.
Narutaru is not without it's flaws.
And there are two doozies.
Firstly, the artwork is blandly generic, to the point where it becomes all too easy to momentarily confuse two characters.
Second, and more important, this feels like a series that was originally meant to be 26 episodes, and was suddenly truncated at the last second, into 13.
I deducted two points from the score for that. One for the sudden, unsatisfying, inexplicable endings to the main characters story arc. One for how the main conspiracy subplot is left completely unresolved.
That's not to say that the last episode isn't an intensely watchable, nailbiter...but all it does is promise great things it now, suddenly, doesn't have the episode count to deliver.
Reviewer’s Rating: 6
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Jan 30, 2012
This anthology pairs Katsuhiro Otomo (of 'Akira' fame) and Satoshi Kon (creator of 'Millenium Actress' and 'Paranoia Agent'); It contains 3 unrelated stories, all three of which are nuanced in their execution and beautifully animated.
The first section, 'Magnetic Rose' is an sci-fi ghost story. It feels like what happens if the life story of Marie Callas were re-enacted on the deck of the 'Event Horizon'; haunting, sad and utterly absorbing.
The second section, 'Stink Bomb', lightens the mood by engaging in broad slapstick. In this dark comedic romp, an inept salaryman is chased by the National Defense Forces after becoming the vector of a new, experimental
...
bio-weapon.
The film is closed out by a short, moody piece called 'Cannon Fodder'; in it, we see into the a dreadful single day in the life of a family of a dead end culture, obsessed with the empty minutiae of (possibly imaginary?) war.
See it, Learn it, Love it.
Reviewer’s Rating: 10
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Jan 27, 2012
Goddamn. I never thought I'd ever type the following sentence:
"This Movie is Worse than 'MD Geist II: The Death Force' "
A vacuous cast of cookie-cutter nobodies sleepwalk through a tissue-thin scrap of "plot". The animation wouldn't pass muster in an early 80s saturday morning cartoon. The dialogue is so dumb even Ed Wood, Jr. would've sent it back for a re-write. ...and the "big twist ending"....ye gods!
Even a brain-damaged chimp on Quaaludes could've guessed correctly who the shadowy "Queen of the Demons" was. Especially considering the movie only has three characters:
1) The Bland Marty Stu of a Hero.
2) His Bland Nobody of
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a Love Interest.
3) An Army of Orcs.
Gee, take 3 guesses who the secret "Queen of the Demons" is.
In the hands of a competent....anybody....the barely there "subplot" of "We, the Demons, have to genocide the humans, because a prophecy states if we don't, they will genocide us." could've been exploited for some small crumb of pathos....but no. No Competence exists within 1000 light years of this horrid horrid movie.
So if you want to use up your precious lifeforce watching an uninteresting cipher listlessly Kaioh-Ken-ing his way through a army of carbon copy of stiffly animated thugs to win the vapid affection of another uninteresting cipher....go watch....any other anime ever. Doesn't matter which one. Any other show would be an improvement.
I'm only giving a score of 1 because the MAL interface doesn't allow me to give it a negative number for a score.
Reviewer’s Rating: 1
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Jan 25, 2012
Wait...What!?
All of the sudden, Schoolgirl rivals A-Ko (the superbutch spawn of two superheroes) and B-Ko (the spoiled, obscenely wealthy mad scientist) who spent a movie and three OVA's absolutely hating each other and wrecking their school....are suddenly best friends....and space-turtle hunting bounty hunters on a desert planet.
Anyhow, C-Ko is less annoying now because she spends most of these OVA's either asleep or possessed by a demonic witch with delusions of goddesshood.
Reviewer’s Rating: 7
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