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On the technical side of things, Trigun is as dichotomous as Vash himself when it comes to animation. The rough and tumble design is the result of an attempt to imitate American superhero comics within the framework of standard anime style. Interesting, but maybe not so great in execution. Trigun has moments of visceral brilliance in its unique style but can also look like dust-covered Tomas vomit when the budget drops out and those exaggerated character models can stand up no better than Barbie in heels, making it a visual hit-and-miss.

The soundtrack is one of the more underappreciated out there, consisting of a lot ... of guitar mixed with arbitrary banging and scraping on neither drums or washboards, but mysterious junk. This noise-music really brings the bleak world of Trigun to life, accenting every heartbeat and gunshot with a balance of intensity and silence.

As for the voicing, veteran Satsuki Yukino does play a really awesome Milly, and for the most part the rest of the acting is good in Japanese, but oh gosh, Trigun is so rewarding in English! Where Vash’s seiyuu unfortunately overacts anytime things get too serious, Johnny Yong Bosch seems to understand the part better and can play up both the cartoony moments and the tragic ones while sounding very natural. Actually, natural’s a pretty good word for the entire dub. The cast may rant into goofsville frequently, but they always sound warmly human, and the western archetype snarls and slurs are entirely too much fun. I especially liked the voicing of Wolfwood, who has a thick Kansai accent in Japanese, traditionally dubbed as a thick Southern accent, but played by Jeff Nimoy as more like what it actually sounds like: gently lilting but with a lot of bark in the back of the throat. I’ll admit there are some awful extras floating around here and there, but overall the English Trigun seems to breathe much easier than the Japanese.

I might as well state the obvious up front. Trigun has awesome gunfights. It is also enormously funny and wildly original. But the characters of Trigun are the heart and root of the series. Vash is hands-down one of the most memorable heroes ever created from his bizarre appearance to his enigmatic personality, equal parts deadly grizzly and teddy bear. But even he can’t carry the story alone. Wolfwood is arguably more popular even than Vash, and just as fascinating in both his reflection of Vash’s nature and his fervent opposition of his way of life. Not to mention the insurance girls whose profound effect on the boys is far too spoileriffic to go into here.

These four, along with the many striking side characters and bookoodles of fearsome villains, carry the bulk of the insanity around them with incredible ease. What do I mean by insanity? I mean that this series is a deceptive little bugger, that’s what.

It starts off with a deafening slingshot into wild comedy and over-the-top violence in a series of formulaic standalones that are so good, they probably could have carried 26 episodes all by themselves. There is a lot of heart in these comedy vignettes, but it’s still all brains-off popcorn viewing…or so we think. Viewers can’t rely on Trigun as a pick-me-up for very long, because halfway through the ride we find out that the peaceful outlaw’s past hasn’t made peace with him, and the systematic vengeance Legato and his hired guns exacts on Vash begins a long plunge into wickedly effective pathos, twisting into darker and crueler places until it climaxes in a scene so nerve-shattering you’ll find it difficult not to yell at your screen a little. And surprise, surprise, THAT’S not even the end.

So, is this bolt from the blue rollercoaster a bad thing? It could have been. The spiral from comedy to drama has killed many series before and after it, but to come full circle here, Trigun is saved through the depth and humanity of its cast. Vash’s philosophy of nonviolence is charming at first and easy to rally behind, but once put in a harsher context, Vash has to wonder if it’s killing more people than it saves and struggles far more against himself than Legato, making this not only an emotional surprise, but a profoundly deep one as well, all thanks to the believability of the not-so-cartoony characters.

That’s not to say the plot isn’t a force to be reckoned with, but tied to Vash as it is, it’s bound to be a juggernaut that’s just a little hard to follow. You will not hear a single line of blatant exposition in the whole story. In fact, while it’s widely known that Trigun is a space western, it’s never even made clear that we’re on a distant planet until episode 6, or how the earthlings ever got there until episode 17.

This slow cultivation of the plot makes for greater realism, but it’s what I like to call manga-contingent. You don’t have to read the manga to understand the main story or all the important things. But Trigun is extremely subdued and tight-lip when it comes to the all the little unanswered questions like why Legato hates slave-traders most of all, what Gunsmoke’s Plants really are, and why Wolfwood is vaguely hinted to be…how old?! (See if you catch that little detail...) There are answers, but they’re buried in the manga.

On top of that, Trigun is a PG anime adaptation of an R-rated manga, so while the manga makes it explicitly clear how Legato kills some individuals and how a mysterious figure named Knives can make entire populations disappear overnight, the anime will leave all the darkest details to your imagination. Some people love this, some people don’t, but you’ll be hard pressed not to find something to love about Trigun. It’s one of the great classics, it’s a lot of fun, it’s thought-provoking, and it’s the only gunsling-fest you’ll ever see where the man on the wanted poster shouts “LOVE AND PEACE!”

All in all, Trigun has its fair share of scarring in scraggly animation and overly secretive storytelling, but few other series have such brazen hearts of gold. The story is powerful, the characters are incredibly complex, and when the darkness lifts, it’s always a rip-snortin’ good time.

*THIS IS A PARTIAL TRANSCRIPT OF MY VIDEO REVIEW WHICH CAN BE SEEN HERE:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C16kNsDCjG8

Thanks for reading!

On the technical side of things, Outlaw Star has aged incredibly well. While not a fossil by any means, this show is at least old enough to have hand-painted cels instead of being digitally painted like what new fans are used to, giving it a classic texture. Don’t let the aged appearance fool you, though, because the action sequences in Outlaw Star are caster-tastic. There are zero corners cut in the space battles or hand to hand combat and there are often numerous fights per episode to pop your peepers at.

The music is pretty low-key unless there’s a grappler duel a brewin’, but it’s ... a fun mix of techno, rock, and a lot of brass to lay down some smack to, though I quickly forgot it in the heated wake of the opening song and a soothing closer written for Melfina to sing throughout the show.

The voicework is nothing real special in either language, I’m afraid, but for a show devoid of serious drama, that’s to be expected. It’s standard typecasting all across the board. Gene is crass, Jim is impetuous, Aisha is manic, Suzuka is femme fatale-ish, the MacDougalls are crazy and evil, and Fred is very very very gay. So you shouldn’t expect the actors to do anything but fill their single notes, and they all do this quite well. The only character that breaks the Toonami-trope barrier into something more complex is actually Hilda, voiced by the cold and commanding Mary McGlynn, and while the outlaw’s role in the story is minimal, her performance is by far one of the most memorable. Okay, her and Fred. But that’s because he’s always preceded by his own theme music. (No, really. He is.)

You know what, I usually deliver the bad news last in these reviews, but forget that, I’m going to start thumbing my nose a few minutes early this time. This is one of the most immature shows you can sit through. I defy you to find an episode that goes five minutes without making a dirty joke or blowing some mutha’s house down.

When I said the characters are all stereotypes, I darn well meant that too. There is a very small attempt made at developing Gene in an episode where he questions the value of his own empty life over that of his passionate assassin’s, and it’s a good one. That is it. Period. Other than that, nobody changes or develops, not counting Melfina because not having a free will and then gaining it isn’t all that exciting. Add to that the story dances about like that game where everyone makes a story by speaking one sentence each and culminates in a deus ex machina so literal that they actually meet god in a machine a la Star Trek V.

So all this clearly detrimental flack ultimately detracts from the show's value a total of ...ZERO. Yeah. None of it matters. Forget all of it.

I once mentioned in a past review that a series can be episodic or stick to a storyline, but it’s a very bad idea for a show to pretend it has a plot and then never get around to it in favor of fun rabbit trails. Okay, I am now nuking those words, addin’ a little ketchup and scarfing them down because this is exactly what Outlaw Star does and it is unbelievably addictive. I wouldn’t recommend this approach most of the time, but this show gets a free pass for being the most wish-fulfilling sci fi title ever. Everything you can love about sci fi is here: space races, space combat, diverse planets, alternate dimensions, weird aliens, hot aliens, aliens of questionable gender, giant robots, bio-androids, human cyborgs, cold sleep beauties, shapeshifting beastmen, lazer gunfights, swordfights, fistfights, paintball, mad scientists, tao magicians, robotic panthers, kung-fu housecats, and a hot springs episode that is actually funny, amongst other episodes featuring a universe’s strongest woman competition, a sunken alien galleon, or a prison where intense gravity is your greatest enemy.

I assure you I have barely scratched the surface.

Here’s the added bonus: it all fits together! Sure, the story is embarrasingly directionless, but the universe of Outlaw Star is immersive with a creative Trek-esque history that is easy to understand through the hokey narration at the top of each episode. Despite being 2-dimensional, every character is lovable and sparks great chemistry with their fellow scoobies. Even Gilliam is a riot throughout. Yes, the computer is fun. Since when was the ship’s computer ever fun?

The villains are silly enough to put Captain Planet’s nemeses to shame, but there are so many of them and they are so deliciously evil that it only ADDS to the already fever-pitched cool factor. Harry MacDougall is by far the most fun for his bipolar attempts at courtship... Simply put, there isn’t one boring millisecond in the entire show, which is tremendously rare and absolutely worth seeing. I can safely say that the most unexciting episode revolves around an evil telepathic cactus who mind controls people into buying bad ice cream. For reasons that should now be obvious, it’s still awesome, and that makes Outlaw Star just plain awesome above all else.

All in all, it does not get much more fun than Outlaw Star. The universe is engrossing, the characters are extreme, and the combo makes for exceptional sci fi that never gets lost in technobabble. That being said, it drops any attempt at plot or development squarely on its rear, but the thrills are so constant that you shouldn’t care much. I highly recommend this to sci fi lovers in particular, but also anyone looking for escapism done right.

*THIS IS A PARTIAL TRANSCRIPT OF MY VIDEO REVIEW WHICH CAN BE FOUND HERE:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fkCASszWeL4

Thanks for reading!

On the technical side of things, great care was obviously taken with Rushuna’s massive assets and ensuring quality control on those ba-shook-shooks, but shortcuts are rampant everywhere else. "Oh look, he kinda froze…I guess that means he got shot?" "Explosion? Shake the still frame like a Polaroid picture!" You get the idea. The show never really impresses visually, and more often than not, it repulses with variable character models and halfhearted animation. The character designs themselves are sufficiently memorable, but not terribly unique.

Back to the two main focuses of the budget, they’re ridiculous. No matter how busty you are, those things never narrow to ... nil at the end and suspend up to one’s armpits no matter what you’re wearing, and what’s with that fake looking shiny spot on top, it’s in every scene and lighting situation! *gasp* They’re not breasts at all, they’re balloons! Peach balloons! Movement-wise, they’re not so unrealistic if they were 80% silicone, 20% woman. I guess if they had giant robots in feudal Japan, they had plastic surgery too! None of the music is pleasant.

The opener and closer, while forgettable, sound less synthesized than the background music, which is not a good sign. The 80s are over. Let the instrument go! It wants to die!

The voice acting is pretty lax no matter your language, but if you were to watch the show, I’d have to highly recommend the sub. Rushuna is certainly the best performance, with Wendee Lee pouring forth optimism and kindness without becoming annoying, along with standout side characters Teppa, Touka, and Setsuna, but even then, those four are just okay compared to everyone else who is barely listenable. Mikkan, Furon, and Kaizan are unbearable in particular because not only do they act terribly, their character voices themselves are brain-melting screech. I’d blame the awkward script or poor direction, because there are several good actors present, but nothing approaching a good performance, just tolerable at best and oftentimes BAD, BAD, BAD! The Japanese is sort of underwhelming, and it might be terrible too, but if you’re monolingual like most, you’ll never know, will you? Ignorance is bliss.

Now believe it or not, this is NOT an ecchi title! Stalwart Yajiro is not the harem personality you’re looking for. Granted, he doesn’t have much of a personality at all, but he’s not the worm-man of ecchi lore. There is a genuine story here, and even though it’s REALLY predictable, it’s not at all a bad one. The ecchi aspects are more minimal than you would believe. For some reason, Rushuna takes a hot bath in EVERY episode, and annoying as that is, we never actually see her naked or posed in any evocative manner, so I think the device is there to emphasize her innocence and beauty in a less base manner, which is refreshing. Our heroes even spend the evening in a brothel with not ONE little dirty joke cracked, to instead focus on the story. Fanservice is limited to the bouncing bountifuls of Rushuna and some other women, as well as putting the girls in appealing outfits, which is at least marginally respectful to the viewer’s intelligence.

Which is more than I can say for the execution of the story in Grenadier. From the vow of pacifism and uncanny gunmanship of an undeserving fugitive to the violent companion with good intentions to the yang to hero’s yin villain, and the conniving toadie who dispatches Juttensen assassins when they fail in their setup missions, this was all clearly ripped straight from Trigun without copying its great characters, depth or honesty. If you can imagine it, the love and peace messages in Grenadier are even LOUDER than Trigun, but hold none of its truth and power, coming off even more false and unrealistic than anything that has ever aired on the Disney channel. That’s intense.

Grenadier is so overwhelmingly preachy, in fact, that I was sorely wishing they had spent that time on doofy humor. Then I saw the series’ attempts at humor and changed my mind. It’s not funny. I understood why a lot of these jokes were amusing, I guess, but nothing actually hit the mark because every joke was so tame and tepid, like the bad puns on those Laffy Taffy wrappers with text under the jokes saying “It’s funny because poodle sounds like puddle!” Like I said, they visit a brothel and they might as well have been at an old lady’s bed and breakfast. I appreciate that it wasn’t filthy, but they didn’t try anything daring or witty comedically, and the result is barely worth a smile, senshi.

So, aside from the fanservice, is there…anything good about Grenadier? Yes. Some of the fight scenes are a lot of fun. From a gunfight under water to fighting an enemy who duels with sound frequencies, the varied fights are unique and enthralling, but even the brightest crayon in this pencilbox looks like it was gnawed on by a two-year old, because the laws of physics are insulted at least five times in each fight to a debilitating degree. I don’t mean the laws you’re allowed to break in an action show, I mean even the ones you’re NOT allowed to break. It kills the validity and cool factor of the show’s best features. Is this show masochistic?

So at the end of 12 episodes you have a comedy that isn’t funny and a fantasy that’s a predictable ripoff wrapped up in an ecchi that isn’t really ecchi…barely supported by poorly acted characters with zero development or depth. But Rushuna has boobs that chuck bullets! Yeeeah. I’m gonna go watch Trigun now. It’s twice as long, but a thousand times better.

All in all, it’s hard to be cruel to a title that looks like it just wants to have fun, but I kept having to ask myself where the fun was hiding. The story on its own is decent, and could make for an enjoyable experience, but rather sour production values and the abnormally preachy atmosphere supporting failed humor pull Rushuna’s tale back a cup size or two.

*THIS IS A PARTIAL TRANSCRIPT OF MY VIDEO REVIEW WHICH CAN BE SEEN HERE:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-yYyPC62hRo

Thanks for reading!

On the technical side of things, it’s hard to say Death Note has great animation because 90% of this show is dialogue. No one ever stops talking, and while they blabber endlessly, the artists have a field day with lighting, masking, and the poses of the intricately designed characters. Death Note has great, beautiful, gothic, faux-realistic ART. The background and character art is a regal feast for the eyes. The animation is rarely showcased. When it is, the animators have entirely too much fun, but bless ‘em for it, penmanship has never been so epic. (An A plus and twenty counts of murder in the ... first degree, Mr. Yagami!)

Speaking of over the top, the music reaches new heights in gothic melodrama that makes shots of toilet paper seem epic...Forget over the top, every speck of this series is floating in orbit somewhere around “the top,” it’s heart-stopping and laid on entirely too thick, but clearly, the ludicrous flair was intentional and will color you impressed in its majestic silliness.

When it comes to voicing these characters in all their bombastic melodrama, you have to stick to RGAs: REALLY GOOD ACTORS. This anime is entirely talking, half the time monologuing, and that is a complete disaster unless the voice actors are captivating. THANKfully, great care was taken with this dub, bringing in a few veterans for the main roles and several newbies with great voices for lesser parts. But rivals L and Light control this game and do most of the talking, so, I’ll be blunt: Alessandro Juliani is L. He blows away his Japanese counterpart who gave the detective a good gnomish and sometimes quirky monotone but comes nowhere near the musicality and nuance in Juliani’s delivery. It’s rare to hear a character say one thing but communicate several different things, but you hear it in almost every line L speaks, and I would recommend the dub for his performance alone. In reference to Light, though, I have to switch languages for a sec. I think Mamoru Miyano may be the most talented young seiyuu in Japan. Like Light, he’s a perfectionist in every subject, with breadth ranging from stalwart hero (Kiba) to comedic buffoon (Tamaki) to angsty hotty (Zero) and effeminate toady (Ichiru). He played his own evil twin so well in Vampire Knight that I thought it was a different actor for the entire show’s run. But nowhere is he more at home than in the part of the charismatic murderous mastermind. It’s scary how good this guy is, you’d think he had practice. Brad Swaille might have noticed this, because he starts off trying way too hard as Light. But within a couple episodes, he seems to slip into the role naturally, and by the end, his portrayal can stand up tall beside Miyano’s, laughing in perfect maniacal pitch.

So if the incredible hype or the fact that the show’s almost a radio drama hasn’t scared you off yet, you’ll want to listen up: Death Note is one brilliant rollercoaster ride. It’s as Ryuk predicts: never boring. It’s not blah, blah, blah, car chase, fist fight, blah, it’s captivating revelation, melodramatic declaration of victory, brilliant deduction, holmes, and why are we watching a car chase, I want to hear them talk more! To give you an idea of the intricacy present, the original manga was illustrated by one man and written in fine detail by another, who I can only assume is one of those guys who sleep-solves Rubik’s cubes when he wants to give his brain a rest. He fills in cracks in the case’s web of logic that I didn’t even know were cracks until L is nice enough to explain it to us, and I find it astonishing how well the author remembered which character knows what and how he could use it down the storyline. It has the adrenaline fuel of a sports anime, but all anyone plays is mind games, brilliant mind games. This should offer a caution to some viewers though, because Death Note makes homicide “so much fun.” While it’s not irreverent, only impartial, the very idea of turning good and evil into a childish chess game turns a few people off, so be wary if you’re one of them.

Be wary as well if you’re into complex characters, because Light and L are psychologically complex but emotionally underdeveloped little things subject to entirely too much speculation about what their relationship is like. (Yaaaaaoi fangirls approacheth...) Past their interaction, everyone else is a one-note pawn. None of them are unrealistic, and many are entertaining, but don’t expect to see any development, unfortunately. That would take away from the drive of the mindgame, so the show chooses quantity over quality with heaps of supporting characters.

None of them can take a smear of the spotlight from Light or L, though, which is the death-knell for Death Note later on in the series when the focus is taken away from L for a time and the series spirals from masterpiece to barely watchable, saving itself only through a last episode so good you’ll want to rewatch it as soon as it’s over.

In the end, these spare pages of imperfection are just papercuts on a masterful hand that guides this mystery in all the right directions, so if the phenomenon still hasn’t bitten your interest, make a note to see a show that for once, deserves its hype.

All in all, Death Note is Shonen Jump at its very best, but it’s still just shonen jump. Don’t believe the rabid fans who tell you it’s some profound exploration of good and evil, because to give it false credit as a mature title would be to miss the point. This is a teen-aimed thrill ride that’s not too deep and it’s barely realistic, but dang, is it well-written, with high-gloss presentation and spare flaws you could fit on a post-it note.

*THIS IS A PARTIAL TRANSCRIPT OF MY VIDEO REVIEW WHICH CAN BE FOUND HERE:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wdOV2Y0KAUk

Thanks for reading!

On the technical side of things, the animation in Ouran is top-tier for shoujo. Like its characters, this series is spoiled rotten with Studio Bones great animation staff, getting both the pretty design work of shoujo that we expect and fluid A-list animation that we don’t. Every inch of the Barbie Kremlin is immaculately detailed, and the character designs are very…appealing. (SQUEE! ^_^)

The music in Ouran is all waltzes, ballads and sweeping orchestral pieces, and all that beautiful, dramatic music is used not with reverence, but for satire, and it makes everything so much funnier than in the standard comedy with cartoon jingles. It ... also helps to keep the mood uniform when some minor drama surfaces and that same music CAN be used seriously…but just for a second.

In terms of voicework, I don’t know Japanese, but I’ve heard a lot of comedies in the language, and Ouran has one of the funniest casts of seiyuu in a romantic comedy. It is mind-blowingly funny if you can keep up with it, but even if you can’t, you should at least give the awesome Japanese track a listen at some point. To give your eyes a rest, there’s the dub, which as you may expect, has a LOT to live up to now. I’m not sure they could ever be better than the subbed result. But I am happy to say that they may be just as good, and probably deserve a medal just for pronouncing all the dozens of Japanese words in the show perfectly. Caitlin Glass sounds perfectly tomboyish with just a hint of femininity that has all those hosts in such a hot tizzy, the twins have fairly different voices that make a harmonious blend put together, Kyoya’s delivery is just as sexily serpentine as it should be, and Hunny is sticky sweet syrupy cuteness on a bun-bun, and then there’s Tamaki, the hardest part of them all to play. Now yes, he plays the part a little different from the brilliant Mamoru Miyano, but well, consider the age difference: he’d have to. Still, Vic Mignogna completely works the part in every direction and is absolutely hilarious. Did I forget someone? No, I guess not. (You see, Mori has about four lines in the whole show...)

So I spent a lot of time elaborating on this show’s fine pedigree because really, that’s most of the appeal. It’s just a filthy-rich, la vida loca slumber-party show and it looks like that party has hung a sign on the door that says “No Boys Allowed.” But let me get serious for a moment and talk about the humor. It can be smart satire, stupid slapstick, or both at the same time, but whatever the case, this is one of the funniest anime I have ever seen, period, and the humor is broad in appeal.

This show makes fun of anime stereotypes, rich people, moe-crazed fangirls, high school angst, gender differences, just every nerdy and teen-centric topic imaginable and then just settles down for some a good old game of hit the funny French person. Throughout it all, the fourth wall is hardly ever standing. I think if Tex Avery and Chuck Jones had written Saved By the Bell, this would have exploded into being. So on the note of male appeal, I do know some guys who can’t get over the repulsive level of manservice in Ouran, but I also know several guys who move past that and think it’s just as funny as all the girls do. You may just have to test the waters, gentlemen. You are venturing into the wild unknown, but it may well be worth the dip!

That being said, that still doesn’t make this show anymore than a really good-looking gigglefest, so Ouran decides to completely risk its enjoyment factor in the greatest mistake of all anime comedies: trying to be dramatic. I mean, how in the world is this stupid harem crossdresscapade ever supposed to be taken seriously?

It works, though.

Don’t ask me how, but every once in a while, this show starts reaching for your heartstrings, and it almost always works. It may steer too close to corny once or twice, but most of the time it’s incredibly heartwarming, and I think this is 100% due to the likability of the cast. Everyone that watches this show ends up with a favorite host, but there’s not one of the cast that isn’t fun to watch or ever wears out their welcome. Well, except Renge, but she’s an otaku, and we all know how annoying those freaks are. (wink wink, nudge, nudge)

Still, it really feels like the way I wish my high school had been, complete with belly laughs, happy sighs, and sexy guys. Don’t hate ‘em cause they’re beautiful, just put the fun back in dysfunctional and you will feel no pain as they drive you insane.

All in all, Ouran is an always-inviting self-parody with just as much heart as glitz, glam, and girly guys. It ranges from smart to stupid all at the same time, is drop-dead hilarious no matter your gender, but of course offers just a little more for the ladies, and does it all with style.

*THIS IS A PARTIAL TRANSCRIPT OF MY VIDEO REVIEW WHICH CAN BE SEEN HERE:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nJNbm4H1OrI

Thanks for reading!

On the technical side of things, Hellsing has major major issues. Gonzo is famous for prioritizing its projects from lavish budgets to zippo budget. Guess which one Hellsing got? Character designs are hideous outside of the main cast, backgrounds are so bland and unappealing that it’s almost impossible to tell where you are at any given moment, I could go on but just know that Hellsing is often painful to watch, color choice being its largest detriment. The palette in Hellsing produces a plastic, bile-colored result with skin tones on some characters that makes humans look less vivid than the undead.

The folksy rock-metal music ... is unique, but I don’t care for how it’s used, or should I say, not used. Rather than support the action, the music always acts as an afterthought in Hellsing, playing far too quietly to be appreciated or punching up to blare and only achieving the effect of a drowning radio. It’s a great soundtrack that is poorly used.

The dub of Hellsing has an obligation to the English language that the Japanese does not: British accents, a double-edged sword with Integra and Walter on the sharp side, far too many awful extras on the dull side and K.T. Gray’s unstable Victoria licking the blade as she struggles to act a bland part in a voice that’s not her own and just pulls through. The Iscariot Organization offers a respite from all the limey lingo with Castilian Enrico Maxwell and the very best of all: paladin Alexander Anderson, a character who needed far more scenes if only so we could hear more of that great scottish brogue. For the most part it’s a very enjoyable listen with just a few forced cringes that come with a bunch of Americans trying to sound European. Then there’s Alucard. You can’t go wrong in either language because both Jouji Nakata and Crispin Freeman are wickedly fantastic. Anytime Alucard opens his mouth, you just have to shut up and LISTEN, it’s so spellbinding.

So, what do I really think of the wildly popular cult hit Hellsing? I could almost shout “what a waste!” and save myself some breath but seeing as this show is so well loved, I’ll have to explain my low opinion of this sleaze-fest in great detail. Very well. It’s one thing for a show to be episodic, to not have a plot. It’s quite another for a show to pretend it has a plot and string us along a lot of very confusing sideroads to end up admitting it has no idea where the hellsing it was ever going and doesn’t care to finish. Villains appear and disappear at random with little to no motivation or explanation of why they’re a threat and what they have to do with the “main plot” of who is creating the freak chip and why. Not that it matters. "Spoiler alert": They never find out who’s creating the freak chip, and even though we spend hours on it, the stupid things don’t ultimately mean anything. I rarely understood why any characters did anything, and I never cared.

The only reason I stuck with the show is because of the script. The dialogue in the show is wonderfully witty, and hearing all the brits banter scene by scene is incredibly rewarding until you realize every fun conversation has nothing to do with any overall direction.

But some shows get by on rich character development or unique concepts at the expense of a strong plot, the tried-and-true Bebop approach. This isn’t one of those, either. Victoria is one of the most boring and completely undeveloped protagonists in any anime. She follows her master’s orders and has long talks with people who could be interesting but often just get killed after they explain things. There’s no exploration of her struggle with her vampire nature or her apparent loneliness. She’s hopelessly boring, but hey, at least she’s hot, or so I’m told. Every other character is just as vapid, except a lot of them aren’t sexy or anything. The final boss is particularly bad, and has all the personality of a picket fence. The big exception to this is Integra herself, a complicated and valiantly strong woman, but she just isn’t enough by herself to give this show any substance.

So, maybe this show isn’t supposed to have a plot or develop characters, or you know, have any depth. Maybe it’s just a great horror title. No. Good horror frightens people, often relying on the audience’s imagination. Bad horror just grosses people out with too much information. Hellsing is gory, repulsive, sometimes twisted, but never frightening. Fullmetal Alchemist, a show accessible for young teens, has at least ten moments that are scarier than anything in Hellsing, many of them near-bloodless but may still keep you up for hours with the lights on. Hellsing is mature viewers only, gratuitous, and woefully unimaginative by comparison.

I’ve almost sucked this show’s juices dry, but it’s left with one appeal: the cool factor. Okay. It has that. It’s cool. It’s cool seeing a vampire in a longcoat pummel ghouls to ash and cackle about it. It’s cool seeing a bunch of catholics send a scripture-pitching Scotsman after him, too. But at the expense of all the garbage floating through this ailing anime’s system, simply being cool is no saving grace, in fact, it’s almost insulting. Hellsing is a pile of sensationalistic hyper-violence with excessive swearing and ridiculously ignorant sacrilege and the fact that people shout “It’s cool! Lighten up!” makes me balk at rewarding it for anything at all. Maybe the show is fun in a sick kind of way, but I see no merit in bad storytelling, bad technical execution, and yes, offensive content. Standards vary for every individual, but I’m the kind of person who will never watch Saw or Grindhouse and I am still sorry I bought into the hype to watch Hellsing, the cool kid at school who deserves no honest praise for being a real douche at heart.

All in all, Hellsing is a wild and wooly idea that sucks more than it bites. No amount of stylish costuming, good voice acting, and Scottish assassins can disguise an incomprehensible plotline, cardboard characters, and poor attempts at cheap thrills. Then, to make matters worse, you have painfully poor production values. It’s not a popular opinion, but I believe it has some credence. If you must indulge Hellsing, skip this and check out the OVA.

*THIS IS A PARTIAL TRANSCRIPT OF MY VIDEO REVIEW WHICH CAN BE FOUND HERE:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S3iyCgX4m-U

Thanks for reading!

On the technical side of things, Wolf’s Rain’s animation is gorgeous. You can almost always count on Studio Bones to put out good work, but Wolf’s Rain has a particularly proficient pedigree. Fantastical backgrounds are detailed, varied and engrossing, character designs are distinct and very attractive, and the fights and chases are breathtaking.

The music was composed by Yoko Kanno, which means I might not have to say anymore, but I will. All her work is magnificent, but this may be some of her best. Insert songs and orchestration are beautiful as standalone but absolutely MAKE the emotional moments too. It’s a wonderful soundtrack to ... listen to without the anime, but it never overwhelms the story either, matching the action onscreen beat for beat.

In terms of voice acting, the Japanese is a solid listen, but also, Wolf’s Rain has one of the best dubs ever made. There’s not one askew line in the whole package, and what’s more, while I usually use this time to mention the standout players of the cast, I can’t even do that for Wolf’s Rain. Every single voice actor goes beyond the call of duty in their roles, all of them. Even some of the extras leave a strong impression in their five-minutes in the spotlight. This dub is perfect.

So the production values are top dog, but the real important things are story and characters, right? Well, that’s where your mileage may vary. Some people will shout, “This is brilliant!” only to be echoed by others saying “Uh…what is?”

Wolf’s Rain takes place in a complex fantasy world with a rich history, but doesn’t feel like sharing any of that history with the class directly. This is good because that leads to greater focus on the characters, and almost NO exposition spouting. Speaking of the characters, they all start out as flat archetypes and slowly flesh out into very complex personalities, which is kinda different. Still, this approach of showing very little and telling far less really forces you to think and catch fine details in order to understand why wolves are considered divine, what makes the nobles different from normal human beings, and most importantly, just what happened 200 years ago to make the world what it is in the story. It is possible to figure it all out, but it’s NOT easy.

This is because, and this is a little known fact about the show, Wolf’s Rain is an allegory, whereby most everything is actually symbolic of something else. Pilgrim’s Progress was a religious allegory, The Little Prince was a sociological allegory, and Wolf’s Rain is both, but not as obvious as either of them. The show cross-references several religions and mythologies to portray a unified theme. The wolves face trials of doubt, despair, mistrust, confusion and even a false paradise that offers bliss in exchange for identity, and this is in addition to the villains that hound them. The humans in the story struggle with issues of self-worth, denial, choosing comfort over facing the truth, etc., all leading up to a whizbang climax featuring one noble’s idea of the “perfect city for humans.” Think Brave New World or 1984.

The thing I like about this approach is that it’s subliminal. It’s not like Evangelion or Lain where you know there’s this big philosophy being waggled at you, you may not recognize any of the references in Wolf’s Rain, but its powerful message gets through just fine without mentioning a hedgehog’s dilemma or a god in the Wired. Simply put, Wolf’s Rain is powerful and it will make you think, but you’ll get even more out of it if you’ve say, read Revelation or know anything about Shinto animal symbolism, but the writers don’t expect you to. I learned a lot more about the show after I did some research, but I only researched because it was already fascinating.

If there’s a problem with Wolf’s Rain, it’s the infamous recaps. There are four completely useless recap episodes right in the middle of the show together, and I still don’t know why they are there. Still, this isn’t much of a detriment as all four of them can be skipped without missing any new info. And if you’re buying the DVDs, they’re all on one disc by themselves! Unless you’re a masochist, don’t buy the disc.

In the end, though, even if you want to turn your brain off and be a little confused while you watch, the outward beauty and emotional resonance of the series cannot be denied, even in its fairly controversial conclusion. I’ve watched it through several times now and every single time I discover something new and profound. It’s pure magic, it will make you cry, but I hope in the end you’ll be howling-happy.

All in all, I almost pulled this series down a level because of its slightly alienating religious themes and focus on animals instead of humans, but then I thought, how can I punish a show for being both incredibly deep and refreshingly different? It may not be perfect, and I can’t promise you’ll like it, but it is a quality work of art amongst anime and a whole new breed of fantasy.

*THIS IS A PARTIAL TRANSCRIPT OF MY VIDEO REVIEW WHICH CAN BE FOUND HERE:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ULVBUd-OHs0

Thanks for reading!

Now you’d think, at least I certainly thought, that the show would go straight to the gutter with this idea. Incredibly, it retains this really appealing sweetness and innocence throughout, not forced or sugary, just…Disney-like, I guess. I mean good Disney, not all that crap that came out after the late 90s. That’s not to say it’s a clean show, ooooh no, the humor is delightfully pervy, but it avoids far more dirty jokes than it pursues despite the various body humor jokes and endless barrages of giggle-worthy nudity.

After a while, anime humor tends to run together, but Midori Days’ brand of twisted giggles ... feels strangely novel, and I think a lot of it is the frequent interludes of character’s fantasies and head-movies. Yes, head-movies, complete with credits. The story is regularly charming and uplifting, due largely to the fact that Seiji is not just a cliché bad-mouthed punk and Midori is not a cliché moe girl either.

Seiji beats up other thugs just to rescue their pummeled victims because he remembers being a weakling when he was younger, and he’s still naturally adorkable when he’s not trying to act street. And Midori has a lot of spirit and spunk that she’s dying to express after being freed from a lot of her old anxieties, the development of which is really fun to watch. I think based on her cooking alone she’s earned her keep, but Seiji may have his mind on other disadvantages. (Use your imagination.) Unlike Midori, he is not enjoying this bizarre new spell and wants things to change back as soon as possible. Now if you’ve seen the movie Groundhog Day, you already know how things are going to turn out here. The fun is in the journey, and for the most part, the journey is a total riot with a tenderly sentimental conclusion. Miraculously, the mushy wrap-up does not feel forced either, making this really a gem of a romcom.

On the technical side of things, the animation is okay, but nothing particularly special. Character designs are very easy on the eyes, but it’s still very very basic, especially for a brief 13-episoder.

The music is fairly kitschy, but amusing, seeing as it’s used to highlight adorably stupid situations.

The voice acting infinitely makes up for shortcomings in either case, though. Of course it sounds great in Japanese, but did the goofiness translate in the dub? Ooooh yes. Let’s just say I’m sorely disappointed that I haven’t heard Seiji’s voice actor in more roles, because he does a top-tier job. He’s as cartoony as need be for all the goofiness, but he also sounds to all extents like a normal teenager. You know how you hear a lot of anime characters enunciate perfectly, even the rough ones? Well, Drew Aaron as Seiji does not, and the casual snideness of the result is very nice on the ears, and very very funny. Midori is also perfect. Usually the high squeaky schoolgirl voice makes you want smear honey on your ears and blow a bear whistle, but Kether Fernandez goes into the ultimate octaves and still sounds very pleasant. Her unnatural pitch is actually excused by her physical situation, as we discover when Seiji switches places with her in a humorous nightmare episode and sounds like he’s been dippin’ in the helium as well. There are still a few grating cheeses in the most minor roles here, but the leads certainly compensate for them.

I’ve already had my sick sick fun telling you what I enjoyed about the show, but I guess I should admit that it has more than a handful of problems. Actually, with all things in Seiji’s life, it’s woman trouble. His mean, drunk sister as well as a little girl and a classmate who have crushes on him all add to the story well when they’re used sparingly, but when they get their own episodes, the show goes from very good to really really bad. Those few episodes in the middle push the series to the limits of poor taste and cheap shots, and I have to wonder why the writers ever thought it was a good idea to take the focus away from Midori and the effect she has on her disgruntled host bad-boy.

Not that the show is any more plausible in such cases. The animators can never really decide how Midori is attached to Seiji’s wrist, so they do avoid showing us, but it’s a little silly to think that TP-ing her is going to fool anyone. There are countless scenes, actually, where Midori pokes her head out and she and Seiji have a conversation in broad daylight and no one notices. The most minimal effort is made to hide her and it works, against all logic. I think Seiji goes to a school for students with impaired vision…who refuse to wear glasses. I’m not kidding, I’d totally believe it. The only character with glasses is also the only character that immediately notices Midori on Seiji’s arm. Co-inky-dink? I THINK NOT.

That, and this show is kinda fanservice-heavy, by which I mean there are only three episodes of the show with no big plump titties in them at some point. You have been warned, for good or ill. Eh. Once you’ve seen two, you’ve seen ‘em all. I’ll never quite understand the male fascination with funbags.

All in all, a surprisingly rewarding romantic comedy that balances innocence and bawdiness, laughter and tears, but yeah, it stoops pretty low on a few too many occasions, and it’s predictable and silly as all get-out. Twisted good fun!

*THIS IS A PARTIAL TRANSCRIPT OF MY VIDEO REVIEW WHICH CAN BE FOUND HERE:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XoGJPYMgxD4

Thanks for reading!

I can honestly say that I have never seen another anime like BECK: Mongolian Chop Squad. Slice-of-life anime is common, of course, but usually it’s that rosy Azumanga Daioh view of high school that resembles real life only in place and time, like a Disney sitcom. The best way to describe this show is that it’s an animated independent film. Except for the patchwork dog and an only slightly far-fetched mobster side-plot near the show’s climax, the series feels grounded not in picturesque reality like a lot of high school slice-of-life, but in the persistently disappointing ennui of real high school life, and the grit ... of teenage emotions, obligations, hormones, and escapades, much more like someone with a camcorder running around on the set of that aforementioned Disney show capturing the teen stars complaining about the previous take and the director scratchin’ his bum.

This is consequently both awesome and alienating, of course. For those of us who like watching what feels like a real life through a keyhole, it’s a gripping and refreshing experience. For a lot of other people though, it’s probably slow and boring. The writers feed you Koyuki’s life through exciting days and bland ones and while I think the choice makes this a more visceral human story even for the musically uneducated (MEEEEE!), it’s clearly not for everybody. It’s impossible to categorize BECK, and you will either LOVE it or fall asleep in ten minutes. I loved it and I still fell asleep sometimes if I tried to watch at weird hours.

On the technical side of things, the animation is a little weird. I can’t say it’s bad, because the stilted look is intentional. I think the idea was to make this show like one of those blurred picture montages of real life in jerky motion you see in many music videos…or Evangelion’s druggie moments. Greater attention was paid to the character’s band performances than the doldrums of their daily motion, as we get to see mad finger-picking, cymbal-smashing, and sweat dripping down screaming faces.

Which brings me to the music. There actually is no music in this show unless someone in the show is listening to it or playing it in the show’s world, with the exception of some moments where there is ambient noise in its place, which adds to the realism. Anyway, I’m going to cover the music and the voicework in the same breath here, because while you cannot have a show about battling bands and the power of music and have the music suck, with an English dub you have an entirely new hurdle. Even if the Japanese music is great, because the actual characters in the show’s story are singing it…all of the music has to be dubbed. If they left it in Japanese, the voice disjunction would ruin the experience. Besides that, most of the songs are already in Engrish. The music in BECK, all of it, is fantastic rock, from lite British classic to rap-heavy punk, and there is ooooodles of it. So after hearing the dubbed result, I’m going to say something I don’t say too often.

By my personal experience and estimation, I’d say about 60% of anime sounds much better in Japanese, 35% of anime sounds equally good in either language, and the rare 5% or so of anime sounds much better in English. BECK is firmly in that 5%, and while it is due to stellar singing and acting, most of the issue is just cultural. Of course anime is more rewarding in Japanese if you speak Japanese, but this particular show is more rewarding in Japanese if you DON’T know any English, because Ryuusuke, Maho, and several other “American” characters speak a lot of Engrish in-show and it really takes you out of the story trying to pretend that these guys are native speakers and singers. The dub makes very minimal changes, but flavors the dialogue with the natural crassness of how teenagers really speak, real f-bomb patois in all its glory, and tweaks the lyrics to sound like an English song as the creators no doubt intended, something that really would “hit in America.” Performance-wise, well, Greg Ayres, Brina Palencia, and Justin Cook can belt it with the best of them, and acting is stellar throughout, with nary an awkward line or delivery in the whole package. I may be combated on this as some people think the language barrier in Japanese is infinitely more charming, but I prefer realism to anachronistic charm, personally. Such an intense adaptation can’t be missed, because it’s the best and the most dub singing you’re ever going to hear.

No matter what your language, however, BECK’s concert performances, especially the pivotal final episodes at a music festival, have truly captured what it feels like to be at a concert and lose yourself in the passion and the sound, and that’s what’s so important and special about BECK. The diverse cast feels familiar and it’s always rewarding to hear them ROCK.

All in all, this show is incredibly unique and rewarding, a great coming-of-age story that rings so true and rocks out loud, but it has very limited appeal due to its sluggish pacing, dramatic modesty, and pandering to hard-rock fanatics far more than anime fans out for action and melodrama. It really brought the noise for me, even when the show was silent and slow, but it’s such a hard experience to share or revisit in full, so it's really up to viewer preferences.

*THIS IS A PARTIAL TRANSCRIPT OF MY VIDEO REVIEW WHICH CAN BE FOUND HERE:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u2sSxdgUeL4

Thanks for reading!

On the technical side of things, I have many bones to pick with the art and animation here. Actually there are too many bones to pick out on these spaghetti people, who I feel like I could easily snap across my thumb if I ever pat them on the back, even the supernaturally voluptuous Yuuko. Seriously, that woman should have SPINAL PROBLEMS with a rack of that magnitude on that beanpole, and throughout the entire series’ run, I never got used to the tiny-headed, long-bodied creatures they call people in this show, or the way they move either. Really fluid animation could have compensated for ... this bizarre art style, maybe even made it really cool, but the animation here is middling at best, and oftentimes slips into shaky and poor. It’s just unsettling.

The music is wickedly haunting and appropriate, and compensates for the limited animation well in some episodes where it’s dearly needed. Actually, the music is pretty top-tier, especially when the mood calls for SCARY!

The dub is actually easier on the ears than the original Japanese and this is mostly due to the soothing liquidity in Yuuko and Doumeki’s voicework. It was wise of them to play their characters so rich and low, because Watanuki is the most incredibly annoying little goober I’ve ever heard. I’m not saying the acting is bad, because Watanuki’s clearly supposed to reach that ungodly level of spastic that he does and sometimes it’s really funny, but MORE often, oh gosh, I just want to send him to that little internment camp in Japan where they keep all the School Rumble characters so they can whip him into shape. Still, there’s no big difference between the language tracks, so preferences will just split where they always do. Oh, one of these days I’ll get to slam some bad voice acting…but not yet.

This series really isn’t bad for wasting time on, but the fact that I have to use the word “wasting” probably indicates how original or striking it is. Most of the adventures of Yuuko and company are underwhelming and talky enough to turn a two minute neat idea into a twenty minute “what the heck was that?” Let’s just say that Yuuko has a very particular way of looking at the world, and her routine cautionary speeches can become grating at best, and childishly elementary or just plain stupid in a pretty package at worst. Occasionally, Yuuko would state some grand moral that REALLY rubbed me the wrong way, and given how much she has to say, I imagine that this will be the case for most viewers at one point or another.

Mixed in with all these middling ideas, there are a few glowing gems, though, I can’t deny that. Episodes involving a snowball fight where the snowmen do the battling, and a shoutout episode to the famous short story, “The Monkey’s Paw,” are a few among them. Still, I’m talking roughly an eighth of the episodes are really memorable. xxxHolic relies far too much on these tired platitudes and more tired running gags like Yuuko always being drunk and/or hung over and Watanuki going off on Doumeki like a pasty-white cherry bomb.

It’s a shame because we really want to know more about Watanuki’s gift and what it has to do with the death of his parents, his friendship with Doumeki, and most importantly, his “destined” servitude to Yuuko. It’s something that is constantly foreshadowed but never revealed to even the smallest extent, in favor of more Hogwarts-esque hijinks. Sometimes all an episode will have going for it is a fun little reference to one of CLAMP’s many other series, and if that’s a draw, you know you’re in trouble story-wise.

So, while there’s fun to be had, the basic fact is that everything xxxHolic attempts, the style and the spirit, or spirits, if you wanna get all punny, has been done much better in different shows with higher budgets. (Kino’s Journey, Mushi-Shi, Galaxy Express 999) As such, while not at all bad, this is the first show I’ve reviewed that I can’t honestly recommend. It’s tearfully AVERAGE in every way possible. A ghost, if you will, of what it seems to promise.

All in all, xxxHolic leaps out as visually strange and narratively exciting, but it’s a hollow façade hiding a frequently boring show.

Thanks for reading!