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Well chaps, here we are. The end of the Queen's Blade tournament. A much better season than the first, for whatever it's worth. One finds most of one's questions answered by the end of the season and the story actually gains and follows a structure! Marvelous! Once again we decided to watch this one dubbed so grab your flip flops lads, it's party time.

Story

In this season we follow Laina: The Wandering Warrior on her journey to win the Queen's blade by fighting her friends without being frozen in some sort of undescribed crystal of urine. The same cannot be said for some other characters however, ... opening a rather perculiar sub-plot where a demon very quickly turns to the side of good just by walking around with a child (who's entire body is smaller than his mother's boobs) for a couple of days. Not on my watch! I would have put this child in the ground as soon as he opened his mouth the cheeky brat! This demon maid and her strange comrads almost seem to be the focus of this season, recieving some solo screen time and jazzy walking in every ending. Some highlights of the story this season are evil agent Risty, sudden milk-addict Nanael, wand-tenticle rape, incest lesbian tension and straight-up nonsensical friend murdering! Spectacular!

Animation and Sound

The animation this season is mostly of the same quality as season 1. A rather strange amount of money, however, seems to have been spent on the ending animations. Near-60fps cycles of characters walking can be found here, accompanied by a story-relevant monologue and some energetic jazz music. As a connoisseur of jazz, this ending really rustled my jimmies! +1 to animation from last season! One wonders whether the entire plot of Queen's Blade could be extracted from these endings, saving the audience a large amount of time while providing both the visual and audio highlghts of the entire season! Alas, these endings have not been dubbed in English, a true let down leaving me emotionally drained and close to writing a strongly-worded letter to the blu-ray distributor! Maybe even to Masahiro Sakurai himself!

Characters

Season two of Queen's blade features the same characters as season one for the most part but still manages to include a few new entries. Not that this is a bad thing of course, Ikkitousen has already shown the damage that an excess of characters can do to a show and this season we needed some fodder for Leina to defeat. Perhaps the most questionable characters introduced here are Nyx and the current Queen Aldra, two characters seemingly possessed by tentacle monsters. To seperate these characters then, something drastic needed to be done and, as a result, Aldra has a horn-penis and an eyepatch and Nyx gets raped every now and again by her magic wand. Thanks Japan!

Summary

In summary, Queen's Blade season two somehow manages to outshine the already great season one, elegantly wrapping up the deep story threads and adding jazz to the ending! Unfortunatly the season does leave a major question unanswered by the end, just who the devil is this Swamp Witch? More importantly, does she have double-Ds too? I want to meet the character that created the acid-lactating pink slime girl! I guess I'll have to wait until next season to find out...

Well well well, look what we have here. If I'm not mistaken, it would seem like season two of Ikkitousen is almost identical in flaws and features to season one! Here we follow the story of the blue-haired one with the eyepatch and a whole array of new characters as we are once again dropped into what might as well have been the middle of the season for all the exposition we recieve! The characters split up into so many groups every episode that you'll never keep track of them, to discover an object called the dragon jade. This dragon jade, however, seems to be ... as useful as a chocolate teapot, with characters giving their lives away left and right to prevent some undescribed "end of the world" event that never comes close to happening. Along the way we follow a friendly four-eyed "fighter" who's more into books than fighting! An outrage indeed. What good will intelligence do in this universe anyway? Our fightless friend calls herself a strategist, yet there is no war or any circumstance that would require strategy in this show! Not a single phalanx, flank or even a measly quincunx formation was sighted throughout the season, leading one to believe that this woman only served the purpose of being lesbian bait - a role she plays more often than team strategist. I'm absolutely fuming! Finally we return to the issue of nudity in this show. While there are more observable oppai than season one, they appear to have been added in post, in a fashion akin to George Lucas' Star Wars: Special Edition. Janky jubblies pop up inconsistently throughout the season, making for an excellent drinking game if nothing else!

Overall this season feels like a lengthier, lazier, lesbian-ier version of season one and, while I am thoroughly disappointed, I still have hope for season 3!

I say! What a disappointing ecchi anime! From the get go we are expected to track at least a baker's dozen of names where one would expect to be allowed time to get familiar with the characters. Furthermore, this anime has the gall, the absolute gall, to basically make the show a re-run of some events that occured several thousand years before the story begins! As a result, all fights and friendships are set in stone based on the past events, allowing characters to determine the outcome of fights long before anyone has even rolled their sleeves up. Not to mention the constant blue-balling! Similar ... to ecchi greats like Highschool DXD, Ikkitousen features school uniforms that seemingly corrode upon human contact, leaving all but the characters breasts exposed for the most part! I came here for a good time and by jove I felt betrayed. Panties are, of course, made of much more durable materials in this universe, perhaps because the students get to pick these themselves. Perhaps this entire show is a social commentary on what school life would be like in a child-ruled anarchistic society where adults, let alone teachers, are nowhere to be found. In conclusion, this show was a jolly old mess and I look forward to season two.

Extraordinary! It seems that studio ARMS have outdone themselves by providing some hot (and I mean hot) garbage for some amateur English voice actors to come and dismantle further. The result of this perfect storm is Queen's Blade: The Exiled Virgin. Watch as Leina: The Wandering Warrior proceeds to befriend Risty: The Benevolant Bandit of The Wild in the most perculiar love-hate relationship since Disney bought Star Wars.

As for story, I'm afraid there's not much here chaps, not that it matters of course! This show was never intended to have a competent story, merely to act as a bridge between breast and bystander. In ... Queen's Blade we follow our sheltered protagonist Leina as she seeks life away from riches and royalty. How will she do this? By becoming queen of course! In order to do this she must win the Queen's Blade competition, collecting copious comrads along the way. This show seeks to break the anime clichés by featuring never-before-seen training montages that involve the self-application of tree sap and a single day of swinging a sword to become the most powerful warrior on the continent. Also hugging boob explosions (you'll know what we mean when you get there ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ).

Not much to say with regards to the animation and sound fellas. In order to spice things up and really get the most bang for our yen, we decided to undertake this adventure with an English dub. What a splendid idea indeed ! The English dub for this show alone is bad enough to boost our sound rating by two whole points! Who could forget the half hearted "Thiiief~" that a single guard seemingly says to himself as some valuable jewels are stolen from a castle! Extraordinary! If you're going to experience this art, do it in the best way and watch the English dub.

You may have gathered what are thoughts are regarding the characters in this masterpiece (a word I do not throw around lightly) from our previous statements. Here, however, I shall elaborate. Our main cast of characters are a strange lot! Ranging from angel to angry, blind to blacksmith and Raina to rapist. (Especially that snake one!) While this could make for some interesting interactions, characters seem to lose their own personality when interacting with others, making conversations feel like they are between cardbourd cutouts. How disappointing! The only exceptions to this are the servents of the Swamp Witch who seem to be the only characters capable of retaining their personality in their dialogue.

Overall this anime is a jolly old time! It's flaws perfectly combine together to create the ultimate anime viewing experience, featuring suprisingly few clichés. It draws you in with promises of boobs and then delivers while providing nothing else. A good time when watched with friends. 5/10.