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An anime that puts most others released since 1996 to shame. I am here to talk about Tsui no Sora Garzey’s Wing.

Garzey’s Wing is a three episode OVA from 1996, taking place in both our world and the fictional land of “Byston Well,” which is apparently a world between heaven and hell (but not our Earth). This anime was written and directed by Yoshiyuki Tomino, the man behind the Gundam franchise – he also used the Byston Well world in the 1983 anime Aura Battler Dunbine.

The story follows Chris Chiaki, a high school graduate who just wants to go to his class reunion pool ... party. But alas, when the supernatural swan flies down and rips a part of your soul out of your body while driving by a shrine and somehow transports it to an alternate world, a damper may be put in your plans. Or at least it would if anything in this anime made sense. After having one instance of himself swept away to Byston Well, his other self continues to live on normally, and they can somehow communicate with each other as well.

Byston Well Chris shows up in the middle of a slave uprising, complete with dinosaurs, a fairy, glowing wings magically attached to his feet, and countless people asking things along the lines of “Is that Garzey’s Wing?” or “Oh my gosh, that skill! Is he the holy warrior?” Chris finds out that the bells one of the women used somehow resonated with the necklace he wore and he was somehow called from Earth… yeah, it doesn’t make much sense. It is also stated that his appearance somehow helps them to escape even though he barely does anything once he arrives.

The story continues with Chris aiding the Maetomius* tribe in their Oregon Trail-esque trek to find the Baraju Tree for some unexplained reason. It is also stated several times that they made their move because it was a leap year. BUT THEY NEVER SAY WHY IT ACTUALLY MATTERS THAT IT’S A LEAP YEAR. There are also several terms and names thrown around with no actual explained relevance to what is going on – the worst is the repeated mention of Yamato Takeru no Mikoto, a ninth century Japanese prince, whose mention over and over again would not be so bad if his name was shorter or if he was actually a character or relevant to the story.

*Quick note – I’m guessing on the spelling of most of these names. Most of them also sound like something a five year old would come up with.

For some nitpicking – the Maetomius tribe’s entire battle strategy seems to rely on Chris’ unreliable flying abilities, an explosive powder, and some giant who shows up halfway through – more on him later.There is also a point where someone from Byston Well mentions gunpowder even though there are no guns. Not to mention that Byston Well is never actually explained to Chris or the viewer, so it seems like he just ended up somewhere. Somehow.

All in all, the story is beyond terrible and is utterly pathetic. If you try to keep track of everything that is going on or being said, you will merely get a headache. It isn’t worth the effort.

Character-wise, Garzey’s Wing is a joke. Byston Well Chris is a crybaby who uses plot weapons to take down foes with mere kendo skill and plot armor to remain alive in the middle of a war. Earth Chris feeds him information via telepathy (even though they both talk out loud) on how to make things such as timed fuses and other things, while also going to the class reunion pool party that Byston Well Chris complains about missing.

Besides Chris, not many of the other characters actually matter. In fact, none of them feel important for anything besides advancing the plot. One example is Sata Urod, a giant who shows up halfway through the anime, can fly, and sounds like a poor attempt to impersonate Tom Hardy’s version of Bane from The Dark Knight Rises. He literally says that he wants to watch the Maetomius tribe more than assist them, yet continues to fly around and blow up their enemies for no particular reason.

The side characters basically include a large cast of characters that will do one of five things:

1 - Complain about Byston Well Chris not helping them enough (Leelince)
2 - Thank Byston Well Chris for helping them (most of the Maetomius tribe)
3 - Talk in the background about the war in terms that make no sense (Keras Keita)
4 - Sort of help Byston Well Chris/apologize to him (Falan Fa and Hassan)
5 - Do nothing of value (everyone Earth Chris talks to)

The main antagonist is a guy named Zaguso who’s trying to stop Chris because he was commanded to, and he also seems to have a thing for Hassan. So basically, there is barely anything even worth mentioning about characters. There is no character development, there is no logic to character actions, and they are not even remotely interesting.

Visually, the anime is certainly not atrocious, but it’s not any good either – of course, you do need to take into account that this anime is from 1996. The backgrounds and character animation are normally fine, but frequently suffer from poorly animated battle sequences and still frames with movement lines and yelling.

There are also some laughable points where a static character is moved across the screen without actually being animated. Besides scenes like those, there are not any massive quality drops in animation – but then again, it wasn’t anything amazing to begin with.

On to a big visual problem, plenty of the design options make no sense. While the use of dinosaurs is excusable to some extent, all of the horses seem to be unicorns – not your typical shining white horse with a silver horn, but they look just like regular horses with horns. Why? Who knows. There was also some pseudo-hydra formed by these things that were cannibalizing each other. For some reason.

But now, let me talk about what makes this anime so special – the combination of the script and voice acting. It’s quite difficult to sum up the nature of the voice acting, so let me give an analogy; it’s like laughing at someone who trips on nothing and falls flat on their face.

The combination of the writing and vocal delivery makes for some hilarious dialogue – let me give you a few examples.

“Did the maidens of the Maetomius tribe also escape?”
“Ah, but if they didn’t… *takes a swig of wine* then how did Garzey’s Wing appear?”
“Indeed, yes.”

“I hear myself calling to me!”
“Oh yeah, morning practice?”

“I am being chased by a real army!”
“Huh? I know. I will do that here.”

“Who are you talking to?”
“Myself, in my own world.”
“Is there another you in your world, Lord Chris?”
“It seems like it.”

“Sorry, but the injured will have to act as a decoy for the enemy, it will buy us some time.”
“Are we using those people as a decoy?”

And these don’t even include the brilliant one-liners, such as “I have bruises all over my body because I had to fight naked.” or “I must somehow make sense of our convoluted situations.” or “There is a war going on; even dinosaurs are here, and they use bows and arrows. My sword is unbelievably dull.” or “Oh my god it felt like I was having a dream!” or… okay, you get the idea.

Altogether, Garzey’s Wing is a complete disaster that still manages to be enjoyable because of a hilariously bad dub, which is frankly the only redeeming factor of the entire anime. I can’t imagine how painful it must be to watch the subbed version of this – of course, that’s assuming that the Japanese dub is at least marginally better. In summation, Garzey’s Wing sucks but you should still watch it.

Story – 1
Characters – 1
Visuals – 3
Sound – 1
Enjoyment – 8

Overall – ? (Objectively, a 1, but the dub makes the whole thing worthwhile)
Recommendation: Watch (conditionally)
If you enjoy B-movies or other things that are so bad they’re hilarious, then watch this. Otherwise, at least try to watch the first episode – it’s on Youtube, so you’d lose nothing but a half an hour of your time at the worst.

I tried to take the review seriously, but this anime is so ridiculous that I couldn’t help being sarcastic or joke a bit at times.

Do you enjoy emotional anime where characters have to overcome the trials that life throws at them, ultimately becoming better people from the experience?

Then don't watch this.

AnoHana (of which the full title seems to have no relevance to the story) starts off promisingly enough - we are introduced to two characters, Jinta and Menma, the latter of which turns out to be a girl who passed away ten years prior and is visible only to Jinta due to some supernatural phenomenon. The story follows them as Jinta meets up with his old friends who have all suffered to some extent as a result of Menma’s ... death.

In its presentation of the main cast and typical slice-of-lifeness, AnoHana is enjoyable enough.
However, shortly after the full cast has been introduced, everything turns sharply downhill. Rather than telling a story of a group of friends overcoming past trauma (the death of Menma), we get what should have been titled "Crying: The Animation."

While characters crying on screen is not necessarily the main problem, the issue is that everything going on for them is completely unrelatable - unless you happened to lose a friend as a child and not be able to get over it for ten years for some reason. Two of the characters even say that their feelings for Menma (when they 5-7 years old, mind you) have not changed, even though they are now in high school. What. It's quite baffling why they would even care so much about her in the first place seeing that it was shown that she was nothing but an airhead. While the story seems like it should focus on the characters who are alive, the majority of the anime is spent trying to prove Menma’s current existence and fulfill her wish – a wish that is unknown to all of the characters, including Menma, thus leading into many irrelevant tasks that accomplish nothing of value. Without spoiling it, the wish turns out to be the cheesiest thing I have ever seen.

The characters themselves are thoroughly uninteresting, and a lot of the time are downright irritating to watch. Rather than moving on, the characters whine and cry about their problems, and even by the end none of them have really changed significantly.

Visually, the anime is fine, with distinct main characters, good use of color, and nice backgrounds. Animation was not amazing (although it doesn't really need to be), but definitely good.

All in all, the greatest flaw in AnoHana is how completely unrelatable the death of Menma was to them. If the anime was in two parts, the first showing their childhood and the death of Menma, and the second showing them ten years later in high school, their situation would not only be more understandable, but also not so drawn out. However, since it's more focused on crying over an event that is merely referenced, the show fails to incite the emotional reaction that seems appropriate for the situation.

This is quite possibly the least enjoyable anime I have ever watched. I may sound like a broken record with how much I have complained about the excessive crying, but it isn't emotional, it is aggravating.