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Shinjou Mayu... I'm a yaoi fiend. Have read 100's of yaoi. And whilst that doesn't make me new to shoujo, it's odd that I stumble upon Shinjo Mayu and become addicted to her work. Akuma Na Eros, Sex - Love, Love Celeb, Midnight Children, etc... and then this, which seems to promise everything that the others do, and in a deliciously-bundled, 50-chapter lot, too.

It took me 10 hours straight to finish it, and I couldn't take my eyes off it. It's trashy, it's addictive, it's bloody terrible... I literally came away with a hollow gut and a snowy haze in my head. I hated life ... for a few hours. I was depressed. So, even now, I'm still wondering; does that mean this manga did its job? Or was it really as horrible as it made me feel?

It starts off well. Kurumi - naive, hard-working school girl - shows kindness to some mysterious guy, who, after a few days (or a day, maybe), has his elites show up at her school to "whisk" (read: kidnap) her away to HONG KONG where she discovers he is the head of a mafia organisation.

Ok, I can swallow that... progress ensues (we already know about kurumi's innocent background and find out about hakuron's severely contrasting, troubled one), and the pair fall in love! ahhh :) Then they end up in a school scenario... this is the point where the "story", if you'll indulge me, gets hard to digest. Later, it's completely discarded and never mentioned again. it's not at all believable, but does serve well for the introduction of probably the most complicated character in the series; Lei Lan.

What happens to Lei Lan in the end, is where everything turns to s***, and that hot, sexy tension, and pure love, turns into mind-numbingly, life-crushing, heart-wrenching pain! from there it's all about rape, and Hakuron hurting Kurumi over and over despite supposedly loving her and doing it for her own good, and not knowing what other way there is to love her.

Um, I'm pretty sure he was doing an alright job before all the rape...

Now, normally I'm a fan of rape fantasy in 99% of yaoi manga I read, but this is probably the first story where I felt really disturbed by it. Usually, and though it's become counter-culture in real life society, the "no-means-yes" plot device used by mangaka is very common. and i'm all for that. But in Haou Airen, there is no way, in a million years, ever EVER, could Kurumi's 'no' have meant yes, in any way... ever... and I mean EVER!!! in a million years... right? ok.

What really, REALLY amazes me is that after this very obvious incident, or series of incidents, is that Kurumi comes back to loving Hakuron, despite doing this to her, many many times. Not just the rape, but (oh god, it's so hard not to write spoilers!!) *ALL THE OTHER ABUSE*... I mean, I can, and willingly do, throw my disbelief high into suspension for almost anything, but this... this, was just... too far into the stratosphere... He says that he loves her more than any other, but how, as the object of that "love" can she really believe that? Kurumi is weak, way too weak.

In other news, it's 50 chapters, yeah? The pacing is disgusting. Really. In places it seems like it drags; in others, important points of conflict are rushed by. "Quick! Let's get this over so we can get back to the repetitive monotony!" :/

So all that ranting done, Shinjou Mayu must have done something right, right? I mean, I finished it... so, what's the problem? Her art is amazing as always; there are enough hooks in the appearance of her intended bishies alone to keep you flipping pages. And though the characters never evolve, never learn, never compromise, there is something addictive about them, and really I guess I'm only talking about the guys there.

Yes, it's a terrible story, and not just because of all the abuse. In fact, if you read Shinjou's columns in each volume about how she's going with life, you get a sense of how exhausted she is while cranking this beast out. The fact that I'm still thinking about how negatively this story affected me a few days later is the basis for wondering whether it did actually do its job. Somehow, on some level, it must have. Certain scenes will linger in my head forever, and others will always remain laughable. One day, I hope I can make peace with Haou Airen, but I don't hope to ever read it again.