This is a show which tries to be intense, gritty, and dark. IT IS NONE OF THOSE THINGS. Goblin Slayer is a very weak, underwhelming show. It's known for being very violent, but the violence is rather mild. It only got that reputation by having a rape scene, which only became notorious because rape is more politically incorrect than violence of a non sexual nature.
What makes me say this show isn't dark or intense? The tone is inconsistent. It wastes far too much time with the more goofy, lighthearted scenes. It constantly forgets what it wants to be, and is only interested in pandering to
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a pathetic audience of neckbeards. And it's definitely isn't intense because there's no action and no suspense. There have been entire episodes with little to no fighting. There's not much of an overarching sense of danger either. They just go around killing goblins, going on the sorts of quests you would see in a video game.
The video game comment brings me to another point. IT TRIES TO HARD TO IMITATE VIDEO GAMES. It just takes generic high fantasy RPG tropes and neither executes them well nor offers anything interesting or new. These video game tropes do not translate well into an anime medium. These tropes actually work in video games, because they combine gameplay with some real world connections, while there's no reason to do that in an anime series where there's no gameplay to facilitate. It's a pointless way of ruining any chance the show had at being believable. And yes, fantasy has to be believable. It has to be immersive to allow the audience to suspend their disbelief. Goblin Slayer acts too much like a video game, and it has absolutely no immersion whatsoever.
Let's not forget that it looks like shit. What in the goddamn hell is the purpose of animating the titular character with that ATROCIOUS fucking CGI model every time he appears? Even when he's just standing there or walking around, they use CGI. It doesn't make sense. Why can't you animate a guy in armor LITERALLY JUST WALKING AROUND? Plus it's really choppy. The CGI is insanely choppy, and so is the 2D animation. It's like watching a slideshow. I guess that's typical of most anime, so I won't take too many points off for that. Good animation is extremely rare in anime. Goblin Slayer is just as lazy as the rest of the garbage in the pile. The character design and settings are nothing to write home about either. Just your standard medieval setting. The elf girl is your standard elf, the dwarf is your standard dwarf, and there's that one chick with big tits for good measure. The female characters are cute. The priestess girl is frankly adorable, but I couldn't give less of a shit about that because this is supposed to be a gritty action show.
That brings me to the characters. They're all boring. Goblin Slayer is a guy who slays goblins because he has a tragic backstory involving him seeing goblins do bad things which traumatized him and made him want to slay them. That's not even a proper tragic backstory. It could not be less generic. And he could not be less boring and flat. In fact, he's a goofy and laughable character. He literally eats and drinks through a helmet visor. He's like a really lame Doomguy. He even has the word slayer in his name, like the Doom Slayer of the 2016 reboot. There's just nothing charming, unique, or complex about anyone in the show. And why does the elf girl, who's thousands of years old, act so childish?
Let's talk about the PREMISE of the show. A guy who only kills hoards of extremely low level, weak enemies, despite being a powerful warrior whose extensive fighting experience has gained him a high rank as an adventurer. and made him famous. LAME. Why would I want to watch a show about someone who only kills one type of enemy? I want some variety. And why would I watch a show about a guy killing such weak enemies? Doomguy is badass because he kills badass demons. Goblin Slayer is like watching a show about a janitor squashing cockroaches with his broom. There's no sense of danger. Sure, there's an ogre, but the main focus is on weak enemies.
I'll admit, this show's premise would be a great premise for a comedy anime that parodies fantasy tropes. As I already mentioned, the titular character is pretty funny, being someone who eats and drinks through his armor. BUT IT'S SUPPOSED TO BE A SERIOUS SHOW. I'll emphasize that it's *supposed* to be serious. In reality, it's hard to take seriously. And that's one merit of the show. It can be fun if you're watching it just to make fun of it. The first episode had me cracking up. It was just so obvious who was about to get raped. It was like watching a pornstar deliver over-the-top forced one liners in a cheesy porno. But after that it tones down so much that it loses its comedic value.
Now there's one thing I like about this show. I like the OP. It simply sounds pleasing to me. But the rest of the music is underwhelming, so it doesn't gain any points for that.
What could this show have done well? Well, it could have had one of the women who was actually raped by goblins become the Goblin Slayer. It is rather misogynistic, isn't it? A male hero has to save these helpless women, and a puppy-like, obedient girl follows the Slayer around and tries to help him. As I mentioned, the show could have been good if it took itself less seriously. Even if it weren't a straight up comedy, it could have embraced its silly premise and focused on just being insanely action packed and over the top. But it found a terrible balance where it's too serious to be fun, yet too silly to take seriously.
If you want some dumb, mindless, schlocky action, this still isn't the show for you. I love mindless, over the top action. Watch Fist of the North Star for that. This show is too visually unappealing, inconsistent, and strangely devoid of action for that.
Nov 19, 2018
Goblin Slayer
(Anime)
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This is a show which tries to be intense, gritty, and dark. IT IS NONE OF THOSE THINGS. Goblin Slayer is a very weak, underwhelming show. It's known for being very violent, but the violence is rather mild. It only got that reputation by having a rape scene, which only became notorious because rape is more politically incorrect than violence of a non sexual nature.
What makes me say this show isn't dark or intense? The tone is inconsistent. It wastes far too much time with the more goofy, lighthearted scenes. It constantly forgets what it wants to be, and is only interested in pandering to ... 
Jun 30, 2017
Steins;Gate
(Anime)
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Many otaku only watch anime because it's anime. While there's nothing inherently wrong with that, Steins;Gate is not in that category. You shouldn't watch Steins;Gate just because it's anime. You should watch it because it's good. Both otaku and newcomers can enjoy this show.
Steins;Gate is a thriller. A thriller intends to invoke great excitement in the viewer using an intricate, suspenseful plot, rather than raw action. This anime achieves that goal with perfection. Every episode had me wanting more, leading to my completion of the series within two days. I was on the edge of my seat for most of it. Steins;Gate is brimming ... 
Feb 9, 2017
Yuri Kuma Arashi
(Anime)
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One of the few shows I can't even watch. If you're not a fan of really symbolic anime, you'll definitely hate it. If you do, you'll probably still hate it.
The main problem is how pseudo-intellectual it is. It sacrifices any watch-ability for some theme about homophobia and gay rights. They don't even manage to make it as profound as they believe it is. It's all pretty obvious and cliche. I can just imagine the staff in a conference room smoking weed and saying "Dude, it's like... symbolic... and it's about like, SOCIETY, or somethin, and how it's bad... uh, like, so deep man...". Story: It's not ... 
Jan 1, 2017
Flip Flappers
(Anime)
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I would recommend Flip Flappers to many people. I don't usually watch this type of anime, and I've mostly watched slice of life in the past, but I was immediately hooked on this one. It's a light-hearted, quirky, and often bizarre show. I was reminded of Alice in Wonderland in some ways.
The story is a thumbs up. The fast pacing and different themes (mechas, magical girls, sci-fi, fantasy, fantastical) prevented it from ever being boring. However, it could be a bit confusing at times. That's understandable since it mostly takes place in other dimensions, so it has a surreal type of atmosphere. Even if ... |
