Jul 27, 2023
Good lord, this anime is just one of the worst things I've seen in ages. Where do I even begin with this show?
Like...goddamn, the villains are easily the worst part, and if I had to describe them in one statement - they're horny teenagers with an underground club house. Remember Kids Next Door? This is that but with 100% more leather. Their roster is filled out with all the usual archetypal thirsttraps - the 15-year-old (married) milf and loli senpai, both of whom fall for the main character (tell me you didn't see that one coming), serious megane girl hopelessly in love with the
...
main characters' (male) side-piece, horny school nurse (ah yes, feeling up your patients, who are also kids, is totally good practice, and she is also totally head over heels for the MC, hehe, par for the course at this point) and, rounding things off, the power-hungry mystery main 40-something boss who masquerades as a teenager, because drama and also ends up being the main character's long lost daddy in the end (this shitshow somehow managing to channel the most harebrained and cliched plot twist of the last century, somehow). What's their motivation? What's their stake in this shitshow? I could not tell you, because I was never told. All it comes down to is that they wanna take over the world with Cybodies, the mechas of this show, and to do that they need to break the seals of four maidens. Oh, they also do this corny ass gesture where they make a horizontal v-sign in front of their right eye and yell "Kiraboshi!" (glittering star). Basically, this is a plot that feels right at home in one of those retro h-anime with demons and/or alien girls or something. Also, the megane girl ends up being a double agent or something, but I lost all motivation to pay attention at that point. That's something for all your "twist" lovers in the audience, I guess.
The main characters aren't any better either. The protagonist is a one-note chosen one, predictably, and I can't think of anything notable to mention about either of his two main companions other than them being sentient mcguffins, who just end up being dragged around with the so-called plot. I think a couple of other mcguffins are introduced in the second half of the story, but they're just more of the same.
The mecha fights are so monotonous episode after episode. Go into "Zero Time" (a pocket dimension or alternate reality plane where time stops for everyone except the relevant, and I use that term loosely, characters), trade a few blows and then blast em away with a finishing move. Like seriously, I came across this anime by sheer chance and the mecha designs looked interesting enough to make me want to give this a shot. But then it ended up being discount Kill La Kill with a touch of Riverdale? I don't even know man.
I think I need to go watch Mazinger or GaoGaigar or Getter Robo to wipe this awful stain from my memory.
Reviewer’s Rating: 1
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