Watashi ga 15-sai dewa Nakunattemo.
Even If I'm Not Fifteen

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Even If I’m Not Fifteen is one of the rawest, most visceral depictions of a man’s downfall into degeneracy.

This manga is a story about two people licking each other’s wounds and bringing themselves down in the process. A very self-indulgent tale that thrives on going all the way, not holding back. Everything in this story is highly exaggerated. From the unbelievably stupid decisions that the characters continue to make, to the somewhat bleak, unhappy world that the manga depicts. This over-the-top approach is what makes this manga work, as opposed to other, edgier stories. Since, with those stories, they tend to present unbelievable situations with ... a serious tone, which does not work very well. The solution to that would be to make the story more believable, OR to just ditch the serious tone and go for a ‘lighter’ tone, to not let the story take itself too seriously.

And that’s what Even If I’m not Fifteen does very well. The story has a certain simplistic quality to it that compliments its tone. That simplicity, coupled with the exaggeration, creates this quasi-comedic tone despite the fact that the manga deals with some heavy themes such as depression, familial breakdown, alienation, and pedophilia (I think). Not that these are necessarily unique themes, but this manga has a very dark depiction of said themes. It’s more about the primal desires of humanity and how people will succumb to it when driven into a corner, mainly focusing on the sexual aspect of it.

But again, it doesn’t feel hacky, it manages to be very raw and authentic. This is mostly thanks to the art, which I think is the best part of this manga. It's littered with expressionist visuals to accompany every moment of insanity. When the characters are at their lowest point, the art morphs into distortion, as ugly, black scribbles cover the page. The girl’s beauty is emphasized by zooming uncomfortably close into her face, revealing the hypnotic nature of her eyes, leading our main character into ruin. The art carries the whole manga. Honestly, if this manga looked like Domestic Girlfriend, it would’ve been a 4. That’s how good it is.

Now, despite all the praise for the tone of the manga, the story doesn’t feel like it’s going to go anywhere. What I mean is that it’s a very simple, straightforward story and I don’t think it will bring up any deeper themes besides what you get in the first 10 chapters, which is perfectly fine. It’s great for what it is. Personally, this isn’t my favorite type of story. Though, to be fair it’s only been 10 chapters, so I hope I'll be proven wrong.

8/10


shoutout to JUM for scanlating this!

This manga will make you uncomfortable, but that is the aspect that makes this manga great in my opinion. It sheds light into a rare glimpse of Japanese society in a very real, depressing perspective. Many others have also confronted so and so problems as well, but it is hard to take most seriously. Most stories have a black and white setting with a defined good & bad, but this manga is set up in a way where we make up our own decision. This story reflects reality more because it is in a grey area and everything is more complex and we don't know ... everything.

Although this manga isn't entirely about this, it is partially about the instability and toxicity of blindly following a loosely but legible definition of a conventional healthy relationship/ happiness. It is a commentary of the faults of certain Japanese social structure: tendency towards un-confrontations, conformity (defining/ comparing your life off conventions), lack of openness (unwillingness to communicate & listen to others). This manga has a tendency to exaggerate everything. Although the exaggeration makes the story seem more fictitious, it puts what would normally be too meager to become a problem a very visible problem, which leads (at least) me to think/ contemplate about it; Very rarely will what conspired in this manga happen in reality, but it shows that there is a haze of toxicity and instability within this environment (a haze because the effects of its translucency is visible but you can't defined when it starts & ends, and it's in the background). There is no clear good or bad people in this manga, and it is just people doing bad things (not bad people); Who is good or bad will vary depending on what you personally think is worse, but everybody does bad things and somebody shouldn't be excused from their bads just because comparatively there is worse. This grey area makes the manga more believable despite its hyperbole because it has authenticity (something many manga rarely has).

(Major spoilers, don't read this if you don't want to be spoiled)
Most of the problems in this story could've been alleviated had the family been open to communicate and listen to each other, but they all dug themselves a deep hole where nothing is solved. The main family never got around to form some sort of resolution, instead they all saw the problem at face value (in their own perspective) without thinking. The father never got around to realize that the family was unstable to begin with. Everything was pushed onto him, and although he had his own problems, nobody was willing to listen or acknowledge it because he's supposed to take it like a man or father (and he never challenges this). Because of the aloofness and loneliness he felt, he started inching towards infidelity and he foolishly assumed that the pedophilic intimacy was the solution (sprout in reminiscent of simpler times when things were good with his wife). The mother wasn't any better because she pushed the man towards pedophilia, and she assumed faulty entirely on the guy without ever hearing him out; She is just as closed minded start to end. She talks about how she changed as a person because she got more healthy, but she hasn't changed at all. The daughter was frustrated by how aloof her father was not realizing that she's the reason why. Everybody is an idiot in this story, and this fact makes this story even more realistic because it shows how blindsided people can be from their person's tie to the cultural/societal structure that define them. To abbreviate, everybody is stupid, and nobody knows jack shit.

I think it was the right choice to contain this story within a few volumes, but the end felt very rushed. I think they could've added a chapter or two more for the mother, since the focus on her was very sudden but brief. Throughout the entire story, she was a background character, but within a couple panels in the last chapter, the author/ artist tried to fit her perspective. This makes the mother seem like a character brought up in the spur of the moment, and the briefness makes her much more hollow in comparison to everybody else when she is a big aspect of the story.

Even If I'm Not Fifteen covers topics that will make you feel uncomfortable but the way the manga depicts it is what makes it quite enticing in my opinion. I don't want to go too in-depth since there are only 18 chapters and it would be better for you to experience it rather than for me to spoil it, so I'll provide a short overview of what I thought.

The manga jumps through issues like bullying, pedophilia, adultery and such as if it were everyday problems without any filter. The strongest point of this manga is its art, it does superbly to capture the emotions ... of each individual at their lows or to highlight the character's flaws and beauty, the background and environment are drawn ideal to the situation/moment at the pont of reading which brings out the story more. In the first few chapters, the story revolves around a father who is convincing himself to be a family man and a high school girl who is suffering from bullying and finding her worth. The common element shared by both of these characters is that they have distorted self-identities and end up in extreme situations due to a lack of knowledge/awareness about themselves. The people surrounding them are also no better, ignoring the situations around them and making assumptions without trying to find an objective answer and just fueling each others downfall. However, the story does decline quite rapidly towards the end which is quite sad as it had a strong foundation and the ending just doesn't feel as satisfactory or adequate. In the last chapter it talks bout the man's wife who felt like an irrelevant character in the beginning and then focuses on the female MC without any explanation of the male MC.

Overall, personally, on the basis of the story alone, I would give it a 4~5/10 but the art is what makes me give it a 6.5~7/10. I wish there were a few more chapters to provide a bit more of a conclusive ending