Watashi ga 15-sai dewa Nakunattemo.
Even If I'm Not Fifteen

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Even If I’m Not Fifteen is one of the rawest, most visceral depictions of a man’s downfall into degeneracy.

This manga is a story about two people licking each other’s wounds and bringing themselves down in the process. A very self-indulgent tale that thrives on going all the way, not holding back. Everything in this story is highly exaggerated. From the unbelievably stupid decisions that the characters continue to make, to the somewhat bleak, unhappy world that the manga depicts. This over-the-top approach is what makes this manga work, as opposed to other, edgier stories. Since, with those stories, they tend to present unbelievable situations with ... a serious tone, which does not work very well. The solution to that would be to make the story more believable, OR to just ditch the serious tone and go for a ‘lighter’ tone, to not let the story take itself too seriously.

And that’s what Even If I’m not Fifteen does very well. The story has a certain simplistic quality to it that compliments its tone. That simplicity, coupled with the exaggeration, creates this quasi-comedic tone despite the fact that the manga deals with some heavy themes such as depression, familial breakdown, alienation, and pedophilia (I think). Not that these are necessarily unique themes, but this manga has a very dark depiction of said themes. It’s more about the primal desires of humanity and how people will succumb to it when driven into a corner, mainly focusing on the sexual aspect of it.

But again, it doesn’t feel hacky, it manages to be very raw and authentic. This is mostly thanks to the art, which I think is the best part of this manga. It's littered with expressionist visuals to accompany every moment of insanity. When the characters are at their lowest point, the art morphs into distortion, as ugly, black scribbles cover the page. The girl’s beauty is emphasized by zooming uncomfortably close into her face, revealing the hypnotic nature of her eyes, leading our main character into ruin. The art carries the whole manga. Honestly, if this manga looked like Domestic Girlfriend, it would’ve been a 4. That’s how good it is.

Now, despite all the praise for the tone of the manga, the story doesn’t feel like it’s going to go anywhere. What I mean is that it’s a very simple, straightforward story and I don’t think it will bring up any deeper themes besides what you get in the first 10 chapters, which is perfectly fine. It’s great for what it is. Personally, this isn’t my favorite type of story. Though, to be fair it’s only been 10 chapters, so I hope I'll be proven wrong.

8/10


shoutout to JUM for scanlating this!

Major Spoiler Warnings.

For the first 16 chapters, this manga is peak. It has really good art, like really good artwork, on par with psychological anime known for their eldritch elements such as "The summer Hikaru died", or "August 9th, I Will Be Eaten by You". The narrative is really well done and we get a really believable depicton of a family man's fall from grace. Lots of other tragic manga depict characters who are suffering from EXTREME amounts of abuse, to the point that it's a little ridiculous and hard to take seriously. This manga does not do that. His living situation is extremely ... mild, and in spite of that, it's extremely believable that he fell so far. The depiction of his attraction to Shiina is very realistic. His reluctance to sleep with Shiina is well done and doesn't come across as gimicky. The pacing is good, there's the right amount of art. The characters have great chemistry. Every single thing about this manga is done perfectly, and then we get to the last chapter.

The only problem is that mangaka have this overarching problem where they are willing to compromise on the narrative direction of the story just for the sake of the "message". It would've made perfect sense if the MMC and FMC stayed together, given their relatoinship, and the fact that they were living together, and all that. We get no indication whatsoever that the wife wants anything to do with him. In fact, it seems like she doesn't really like him, and trying to squeeze a little character arc for her into the last chapter ultimately ruined the manga's ending. I guess the message was supposed to be that bad people have bad things happen to them? Even though we get every indication that there is a perfect storm for the MMC to pull his life together and raise his daughter. And then, it's implied that FMC will abort the baby because she sees how she is only wanting the baby for herself, just like her mother. But then we cut to her having the baby anyways? It's super anticlimatic and spits in the face of the entire plot before that point.

There's also nothing meaningful in the last chapter. We don't learn more about any of the characters except the mother. But she wasn't treated as important whatsoever so it's just forced. Our protagonist could've been literally anyone, beacuse we don't get to see the unique facets of his personality which are showcased throughout the story up to that point. We don't see any unique aspects from Shiina except that she's a not necessarily a bad mom, I guess?

If your tragic ending makes no sense up until the ending, then it's just a bad tragic ending. For that I'll rate this a 9/10, because aside from the abysmal ending which unironically would've been better if they axed it at chapter 16, it was a really good manga.