Lolita Caramel Visual Novel Thread (Latest skit:- 5)

Norilla said:
@SweetMonia

There there, Monia-chan...
*pats head*

natsukage said:
Typical "student council president

CrashD said:
I've read through this thread and I'm worried about downloading the visual novel. I don't want to get a virus :I

SweetMonia said:
The virus was most likely a false positive thing, the anti-virus thought there was one, but there wasn't any. No one complained to me that their computers got inflicted or anything yet~

If you are still worried about downloading Lolita Caramel, you can watch the YouTube videos in my channel. :>

MonadoII said:
I'd prefer quality skits too^^

CrashD said:


Alright. I'll probably download it sometime :3

natsukage said:
@SweetMonia

I greatly enjoy your skits. ^^ They're really funny and interesting.

Kepe on making great expressions like that~ All characters have great sprites up to now, and that's what makes a VN even more lively. We're not asking for "animated sprites" or anything complicated, just a few sprites that fit the situation, just like you've done up to now~

One way to show a time change would be to add a calendar or a clock like you said. But not all VN have one. You can simply to change the coloring. Neutral coloring for the morning, and warm coloring for the afternoon. Like KEY does for example:
Simply making the light from the windows of the hallway warmer in your skit after school will tell us immediately it's later in the day. ^_^


As for proofreading, it's indeed way better, but still have a few errors here and there. It's the reason why a separate proofreader can be useful sometimes....we often don't see our own errors, even when revising dozens of times. I often see errors in manga I translated even if I proofread 3 or 4 times...xD

SweetMonia said:
And that's how I will do it. ^^

Okay, I hope you like it when you do :>

CrashD said:


Do I have to redownload it each time you add more skits?

Kairen said:
Feedback
+ Funny
+ Good exchange of dialogue
+ Suitable soundtrack
+ Likable characters
+ Setting and color
- Character introductory backstory feels very forced and sudden
- Music for the first Bad Ending is strangely melodramatic and out of placed
- Might need more sprites
- Few grammatical error
- Needs more background

This is just a rushed feedback, sorry if I couldn't provide a constructive one.

SweetMonia said:
Thank you for the feedback Kairen, I will keep them all in mind for future releases. :>

Also, what do you mean by "Character introductory backstory feels very forced and sudden"?

Music for the first Bad Ending is strangely melodramatic and out of placed

Might need more sprites

Needs more background (Preference)

Few grammatical errors

Kairen said:
This is just a personal preference thing. When Lolita introduces the characters and their background, it feels quite random (Rina and Beauty). It just feels too sudden.

Tomorrow, I'll write the constructive feedback which would explain more of what I mean't to some of them (to avoid misunderstandings and provide some minor suggestions).

=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=

For the negative aspects.

Ignore this. This is a mistake on my part ><


The music for the bad ending is very good but it doesn't seem to suit the first bad ending where something less dramatic happens. The music is more suitable if something very dramatic has occurred, so my suggestion is to tone it down to something sad.


It just needs more to suit out the dialogue.


I think a change of background for the halls is necessary to change the scenery a little. The change doesn't have to be much but just a little different.


There are people here to help you with that ^_~) so that's not much of a problem.

Kairen said:
I'll be waiting for the next update ^^
Looking forward to seeing how much of it has been improved.

minx14 said:
I've read through some of the skits and I have only noticed one typo.

Other than that, awesome job so far! I really liked the music choice there :P

SweetMonia said:
What typo is that? :D

Glad you liked the musique I picked :>

minx14 said:






unless intentional??? unless i'm missing something?
you should end the sentence at "can be." and then second sentence "Sometimes...

I'm being a huge grammar nazi right now, I should stop... I'll probably be spotting way too many typos now... *cough* full stop (period) goes outside bracket if the content in bracket isn't a full sentence, goes inside if it is. *huge grammar nazi* I regret life, I just drunk 500ml of V (and it's nearly 4am).

SweetMonia said:
Update:- Dear friends, since it has been a while, I thought I should make an announcement here. I am working on the 3rd installment of the skits these days, it's a lot of work, so it will take a while. I had issues that delayed me a bit too, but I will try to release the new skit as soon as possible~

SweetAmandine said:

I'm looking forward to the skit.
Good luck with the work!

SweetMonia said:
Merci Robert, I hope you like what I am creating this time. One of the new sprites is one my profile by the way ^^

SweetAmandine said:

It looks cute.
If it's going to be like the previous ones,I will enjoy it :3

SweetMonia said:
mhmm, Beauty needs more screen time in my opinion :>

That's good to hear, because I will try to make it better :)

SweetKotomi said:


You should make your own anime. I'd love to see Lolita Caramel animated. Imagine if KyoAni picks it up ^_^

Mochigi said:
I'm not sure, but I guess you should think about your characters too, Monia^^
I mean... it does look like it's in the middle of summer in your Visual Novel...
So yep - shouldn't they have a more... hm.... comfortable clothing?
I can imagine it being pretty sticky, especially around the chest region if it's summer x)

xDD
*pets*

Mochigi said:
Oh, if I were a female student at Lacy Soir in Miémorrina (so cold brrr~ xP)
-------
Mochi: Hi, Vivianne, I have a request :3
Vivianne: What is it, my dear Mochi?
Mochi: It's about our next school trip.
Vivianne: The school trip? Have you and the others already decided where you'd like to go to?
Mochi: Yes, we have! x) It's so cold in Miémorrina, so we were thinking about a wellness trip^^
Vivianne: A wellness trip? .... That sounds good ~.~
Mochi: Yep, let's go to the local onsen together, Vivianne!
....
..
----------------------
So yeah, a spin-off! Onsen for the win xD
Sounds good, doesn't it? (¬‿¬ )
xDD

TohkaKotori said:


I actually played it, and it was a pretty good game, keep up the good work!

TohkaKotori said:


It is too early to tell what I liked the most, but I believe it has a really interesting concept.

TohkaKotori said:


Let's see, it's getting really good :)

TohkaKotori said:


That's great!

SweetAmandine said:
I thought it was an announcement for a new skit :c

Harute88 said:
The game was quite fresh for me, the introductions, story telling, the music and the art was good too. but, looking to the not so good points.. there was a few grammatical errors (like some of the few people pointed out) and I feel that the characters needs additional sprites (like that of Steins;Gate, but I won't force you, just my selfish preference, XD)

I'll be definitely looking forward to that of the next skit, :3

SweetButlerKou said:
@SweetMonia
It better be worth the wait *flicks forehead*