| Yup... I'm back. I'm back too this awesome world of writing and i'm hopefuly better than I was before... tiny bit. Now the reason I have not been here is the one thing we all have to do... pass school... And I have done it but now I have no job so... plenty of time on my hands now :D So before you start reading I just wanna warn you that there will be errors here and there because English is not the best. But help is always appreciated. :D So… BEGIN! And this will probloby be the only long chapter. Chapter 1: a Fresh start… in an unknown place Let’s summarize everything before everything went black. I was going down to the basement to get some tools for dad. I went down the stairs and I stumbled on something, fell down and hit my head against the freezer and then darkness. I fell maybe one meter… maybe a lite more but that doesn’t matter. So there are two… three possibilities right now. First, I’m dead which is bad but isn’t true because I can hear the wind flowing through tree which is very odd. Second is that I’m in a coma and is now stuck in a dream or something. And last is… I don’t actually know. That I’m still alive? *tries to move a finger* ‘yup… I’m still alive because I can move my fingers ’. So I open one eye and I see... ‘the sky? ’. but wasn’t I just indoors. And it’s clear blue and the sun shines like usually and not a single cloud either. And too my right is the... ‘forest? what happened to the neighbors?’. And to the left there is ‘more trees?’. So I sit up and look on my right knee and the scar is gone. The scar that was going to be there for the rest of my life because when I was in ninth grade I hurt my knee badly on Gymnastics. Went to the doctor and they operated and there was going to be a scar there. *giant snoring* ‘And who the hell is sleeping in the middle of the forest’. I think to myself as I turn around and see a giant gray skinned lizard ‘how the hell is this even possible?’ I stand up slowly and as quiet as I possibly can. This thing is around… 50 meters long and maybe 20-15 meters tall so if it wakes up it can eat me in one bite which is bad. I turn around and walk away slowly until *twigs snaps* ‘Why fate? Why? Why do you have to kill me like this… with twigs?’. *interrupted snoring sound* I hear a big yawn and then a very dark voice form behind me. “What do we have here?... is it a man that has awoken me from my little nap… *sniffing* definitely a real living human man. ” You know… that last part of the sentence it sounded very pleased… I just stand there not moving a mucle. After like 30 secounds I hear a big sigh. *sigh* “Why do you men always have to do it the hard way?” I get a little confused and try’s to take out any courage I have and asks. “uuu… what hard way? Can’t you just eat me in like… one go?” I then get least expected answer. “WHY would I eat a MAN?” I then turn around. “Because you’re a giant lizard?” It then gets furious speaks very loud. “I’M NOT A GIANT LIZARD! I’M A WURM… WITH NO WINGS. *start’s sounding very sad* why does everyone think I’m a giant lizard all the time for?... is it because I don’t have wings and no fire breath?” I can see giant tear’s going down her eye’s and I feel bad all of a sudden. But just a little because I just got to know that I’m not going to get eaten. I just scratch my head and look at her. ‘[color=gray]I think it’s a she… I should ask it… or maybe not[/color]’ I wait till it stops crying and then says something I will maybe regret but I say it anyway. “Maybe because those characteristics are those that usually reassembles a dragon? And you’re a wurm.” It then gets furious again. ‘shit it’s going to eat me now.’ While I think that I prepare for the worst. “ARE YOU STUIPED? WURM’S BELONGS IN THE DRAGON FAMILY! WE HAVE WINGS AND A BREATCH TYPE… and why are so afraid of me. It looks like you think I’m going to kill you but I won’t… don’t you know that wurm’s are one of the kinder sort of mamono?” I look at the wurm with a very confused look. “mamo-what-now? And the reason why I’m so afrid off you because I think you’ll eat me” it just look at me questionable and apparently that was something I should have known. “Or the easier explanation… monster girls. And I would never eat a human… ever.” I look at it, then to the ground, then back at it. “HAHAHHAHAAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHHAHAHHAHAH…. Are you stupid? There’s isn’t even a single body part on you that reassembles a woman.” “hahahahahahaha… oh wow. That’s because I’m in my dragon form… don’t… you know that already?” the more I get to know the more confused I get. “Scene when did dragons get TWO forms… just asking because no… I don’t know ANYTHING about mamo-something-stuff.” She then gets all serious and at the same time I then feel something sticking in my neck. “what the?... I feel… weak.” I collapse on to the ground with my face first and before everything goes dark I hear a mighty roar. ’[i]What the hell is going to happen to me now… wake up in a world where the sunlight is deadly to everyone?[/i] Come back next time to see what troubles I have fallen in... which won't be a year of wating I assure you. |
Carn0Nov 19, 2014 3:10 AM
Carn0 said: I’m dead witch So, basically, you are Delliah from Emerald's story? :-D Hmm, which doctor am I? Witch doctor I am. |
| Signature removed. It was too good for this cruel world. |
| Some grammatical errors and spelling, and bbcoding issues but nothing too serious. Though some of the spelling problems your spell checker wont catch because they're not spelled wrong, just not the right word. instead of summaries--summarize, witch--which, could--cloud... you see where i'm going with this lol. Well its an interesting start, I look forward to see what happens with the wurm girl ^^ |
  |
| Wurm girl -> gotta see what happens next. ù_ù |
 "You keep changing the shape of your eyes. How does that even work?" -AbhLeaderKrelian |
| Wurmtastic opening. As already stated, could use a little polish on the spelling/grammar, but it certainly wasn't the worst I've ever seen. Keep it up and lets see what happens! |
| Aaaw yeah! F***-motherin' "I HATE LIARS!" Carn0 is back, baby! Good to have you back, buddy... ;D |
| nice~ |
 |
| I do believe this is the first time we've had a first encounter with a dragonkin be in the ancient form. And she still manages to be girly! Kudos on that. |
| "When you have bought your own load of hooey, you know exactly what it is worth." -- Bruce Sterling |
| "oh dang, I chipped a claw" :3 |
|
greatgreenman said: "oh dang, I chipped a claw" :3 ...in your ribcage |
| Signature removed. It was too good for this cruel world. |
| I will do a re-comment to everyone here that do comment my story and I just wanna say thanks to everyone that comment. And I'm glad there are no haters here and that vid just showed what I'm going to do to haters that has nothing good to come with. P.S: I'm in the leagacy list. xD P.S.S And I'm jelly by them honory bages MGE stuff... and I can't have one because I can't be active so much :( @Hi beast... trying to be funny eh?... btw haven't read emeralds story so... you just spoiled something for me. :( @Thank you greenman. You sir helped me fix some errors and I take of my hat for that. And that comment 'oh dang, I chipped a claw' made me lol. :D @sydo... is that a waiting face or an angry face cuse I can't tell lol. xD @Hello emerald and I'm glad you liked it and will continue to like my story. btw I haven't read you're story... either xD @Yup, I'm back Pantsman and thanka you for a good introduction. xD @I'm glad you liked it clarus... and I must read you're story too... @Hi again tyger, And am I really the first to make an encounter with a dragon in their ancient form... If thats the case then I take of my hat for myself because that I did not expect. And I'm glad I manage to make her girly in her other form :D Btw I have two stories somewhere else which is somewhat the same as this but a little diffrent First one is a slice of life style and I have just one part up and if you wanna read it then the link is here the other one is like the MSG but where you can pick any MG as conpanions but only two and here if ya wanna read that too. BEGIN [insert intro music here] Chapter 2/ Day 1: A failed kidnapping attempt… but a successful capturing attempt ---From the wurm’s point of view--- (just so all ya readers know…) I should have been able to predict that this was going to happen. I raising my voice and he raising his voice would actually attract attention. And I know there is an amazon camp a kilometer west of here. But just how did he not get detected by them. They are excellent scouts in the forest but yet they did not see him… and he’s completely naked too… which should make them able to even smell him. And now they try to take him from me. ”Damn you amazon’s… I thought we had an alliance.” five amazon’s then show themselves. One jumps down a tree, two comes out of bushes and two from two different trees. There is an open area before me and they are keeping their distant in the edge of the opening. And behind me is an entrance to my liar in a small mountain. The open area is around 80 square meters in a half circle and they are around the edge surrounding me. One in the in the middle speaks up in a cocky manor. “Correction… you have an alliance with our queen and th-” the amazon to the right speaks up and interrupts. “Doesn’t that mean we are breaking the alliance plus, even if we manage to take that man *mumuling*I shoot with a sleeping dart *speaks normaly* back to our village she can just smash through our wall and take him back…” the first amazon gets furious and yells “SHUT UP!!! I’m horny as hell and just by seeing him lying there naked isn’t exactly helping-” While they are arguing I lift my future husband up, turn around and lays him inside my lair and I block the entrance with a boulder that is on the side of the entrance. It takes a little while for me to find a good boulder. I then turn back to the “leader” and say’s mockingly “There… now he’s safe and you really have to work on your kidnapping team skills… I have just put him out of your reach. And please… if you’re going to start a fight do it seriously… not while you’re horny… but I guess that’s impossible for you sense the queen always have sex in front all of you with her husband.” and now she’s raging ‘Oh… I’m so enjoying this right now’ *a few moments earlier* ---Sneaky person point of view--- The wurm still haven’t noticed me so all I need to do is to be as quite as I have and get inside her lair where she has put the man and the get out and he’s all mine. I do a quick jump of the tree I’m hiding in after she has put down the human and I run silently inside around a corner so she does not see me. And when she is looking away run up to him. I get down on my knees and examine him and he appears to be in absolutely excellent condition… and handsome too. I then get up and scream. “YES!” *Boom* “huh?” it then goes completely dark and I realize that I’m locked inside her lair. “This… is bad… reeeaaallly bad This wurm is very cautious… she has no plans on losing him now. And with me locked here I’m as good as dead… hopefully not… as long as I don’t touch him. ---Back to dragon---[great pause area :D] After the leader amazon jumped in anger and yelled som bad words and starting to calm down... the other four is looking at the “leader” while the leader is looking at me with nothing but anger in her eyes. “Look what you fools made me do… lose a man. And now we have to kill a wurm to get him.” She then pulls out her broad sword and points it at me and smiles which is full or bloodlust. “Warriors… let’s bring this dragon to her knees and slay her. And it should not be too much trouble since this one can’t fly and does not even have a breath attack.” I just starts laughing. “HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAaaaa… everyone always underestimates me. And I don’t need to fly or fry you. I can just crush you all. ” they then starts to jump out into the open. I slam my left front claw into the ground and say. “I will rip all of you apart for trying to take my man away from me.” And then all of them jump against me with their swords drawn and the intent to kill in their eyes. But out of nowhere we hear a scream. “ENOUGH!” and every amazon stops in their tracks. And the only one that can stop amazon’s this way must be the queen. And out of a tree comes another amazon and what do you know. It’s their queen and she has a mad looking face. “Is this a fair fight? Five against one?” and she walks straight up to the leading one. And I she dose that I just lay down. “But my queen… she took a man that we ha-” then the same amazon from before interrupts her from continuing to lie. “That’s not true. What really happened was that Amy here heard a twig snap here and when she looked there was a man who woke up this wurm and then she did a quick plan on how to take him but she failed… miserably bad. And now she told us to kill the wurm-” the queen puts up her hand against the talking amazon and she becomes quiet. “Thank you for speaking truthfully and for you Amy… since you are so eagerly to kill This wurm who has been helping keeping our village safe why don’t you fight one on one against her and she if you can kill her.” I’m starting to get annoyed by all of this so I stand up and walks against “Amy”. She immediately turns around and as I’m about to swipe her with my claw she jumps out of the way just in time and gets in a battle stance a few meters away from me. She then speaks up. “Th-… this is unfair… me all alone against a wurm in her ancient form.” I then say with anger in my voice. “Life is unfair.” I then puts my claws in the ground and pulls up a giant boulder and throws it against her and as I’m about to throw it she tries to run around me to get to my side but I throw the boulder in her path which forces her to jump back and face me. She has fear written all across her body but she will still stand and fight. She then starts to run at me and I put my left claw to the side open and ready to swipe and as she sees me do it she then jumps forward and rolls up to me which I did not expect. She manages to roll under me and I then feel her blade in my chest. I fall to my right side to make sure she can’t get an advantage for being under me, but when I land on my side the other four amazons’ charges at me. I then as a reflex tighten the muscles in my chest but the she still has her sword in me and as I tighten I feel enormous amounts of pain and I cannot tighten my muscles to make it harder to cut through my skin on my chest. I try and protect myself by swiping my free claw at them but they dodge it and they all manage to strike me where my heart is. The cold blades get in and two manage to get to my heart and the other two doesn’t manage to get in deep enough. I roar in pain and as I scream they begin to push deeper. I instantly use my back claws and manage to hit all of them and send them flying backwards. They slam into trees and I get up and just roar at them in anger. But I then feel extremely weak because as I roar I feel something coming out of my mouth. It’s extremely hot but it’s not fire… It’s a slow moving material. It feels as if I’m vomiting and then more comes and it flows down to the ground and I realize what it is. And when I have realized what it was, darkness consumes me and I pass out. I guess this chapter got a little too long... well anyway be back next time to see just what these amazon's really have planed. And who was that sneaky person that I'm now locked in with. [insert outro music here] btw... that little fight scene was the first one I have ever made so mmmmmblocking out da haters! xD |
Carn0Aug 14, 2014 10:33 AM
| As to your comment--you totally should read my story. It's only a little longer than normal. =P Anyway--that fight didn't go at all like I originally predicted. I liked it. Amazons seem to fall victim to the same curse that afflicts lizardmen when people just make them slightly/barely better humans. However underhanded, a group of them should be able to handle a wurm (even in ancient form) if they are trained well enough. Grammar is still improving, but aside from that my only gripe would be to see some more spacing. |
| Fight scenes are hard; you have to use something as slow as written language to try to convey hectic action. No matter how cool the fight looks in your head, what you write can never do it justice. If you avoid the scene being boring, you've done better than most. That said, I suggest reading mdude's and Kami's stories. Those gentlemen handle action scenes exceptionally well. |
| "When you have bought your own load of hooey, you know exactly what it is worth." -- Bruce Sterling |
Carn0 said: @Hi beast... trying to be funny eh?... btw haven't read emeralds story so... you just spoiled something for me. I am always trying to be funny. It don't work most of the time. You should still read emerald's story, also tyger's and kami's. Not only they are exceptionally well written, their stories also became canon) emeraldtryst said: Amazons seem to fall victim to the same curse that afflicts lizardmen when people just make them slightly/barely better humans It isn't exactly the same case as neither side is human and wurm may already have experience with fighting Amazons. it doesn't look like Curb Stomp Battle either. Plus, unlike us, our companions can take several levels in badassness for free :) |
| Signature removed. It was too good for this cruel world. |
| that haters link... no... now the entire story was narrated in my head by that fat kid.... The Sydo look is his "I'm waiting for a spanking" look.. FYI Well the fight didn't go the way I expected (and didn't the queen say one on one?). Its always interesting to see things in the perspective of the companions rather than completely MC. |
|
| caught up for what its worth, as for the fight scene its not badly done at all in my opinion though im more interested in that little sneaky person :3 |
|
| @Emerald - too hear that you could not predict it mabe me happy. because thats the way I want to make my story, unpredictable :D I tride to make more spaces this time :P @tyger - I have already readed mdude's first story and I began to read kami's... btw I hear that he has done something with the legion I created way back but never got the time to do anything with it... I must read his story. @beast - I will read them when I get time... @GGM - sorry for that xD btw you can give sydo a spanking form me cuse I don't wanna do it. @Nox - more bout the sneaky person next chapter. Chapter 3/day 1: Still stuck in the unknown world I get woken up by slamming my head to a wall which(finally I know the right word to write :D I would otherwise put in witch there) hurts really badly. It was a good hit but I don’t have to worry about anything because there isn’t even anything in my head, just a sign that says “error 404 brain not found”. Anyway when I put my hands on my head I hear the sound when chains get pulled on the ground. And when I look on the ground and follow the chain it connects to cuffs which are on my hand wrists. I then say out loud without thinking. “Great… first I stumble on something when I’m on my way to get some tools for dad and hurt my head, then I meet a giant wurm, then I get put to sleep and now I’m a prisoner… oh yeah… I wonder if I’m still stuck in this world where there are these so called ‘mam-… mam… monster girls’ exists because that wurm did not look anything closely reassembling a girl.” I then hear whisperings but don’t know what they say or what say them so I get up and walks to the little bars window and when I look through it I can’t believe what I’m seeing. “Ok… my mind must have gone completely insane right now…” Now, what I see is a room and two benches on each side. Yes everything is made out of wood and hold together with spikes. I hear a ‘clip clop’ sound which means I’m in a wagon that was originally used in the 1500. An oil lamp in the middle of the room where the benches are and four girls. There is just one thing I can’t understand and that is these girls are “half” something else. Let me just number them up, the first one has a tail that is on fire… yup, you heard right, on fire, constantly. Her hands and feet have these red like claws and a huge ass sword on her hip. And by huge ass I mean almost the size of clouds buster sword. She has brown skin actually and she has orange yellow reptile like eyes and where her ears usually are there are these… “fins”. I don’t know what they are really called but that is what I think they are called. And her clothes reassemble scales which only cover the “important parts” of her normal human body. Yes she only has a bra and short shorts. I have absolutely no idea what she tries to reassemble. Then girl number two who is sitting next to girl number one, She has a tail too, green claws where her feet and hands is supposed to be, she has wings too, dark green hair and yellow reptile eyes, horns on her head, she too has “fins” instead of ears, she has white skin and her clothes dose also reassemble scales but they cover more of her skin. And my mind do know what she tries to look like and that is no one other than the mighty dragon… but in a less frightening way… wait a minute, that means that the wurm I met earlier is… something like that?... or more like can be. Now my brain starts to get overloaded because I… don’t… know… anything… of this place. And I don’t even know if this is real. Girl number three who is sitting on the other bench is… nothing so special. She dose just look like how I imagine how amazons would look like. You know some flowers in her silvery white hair, brown skin, sky blue normal eyes, some leather bra and… just a piece of leather cowering her private area. But she does have a purple like thing which holds up what looks like a broad sword. And she has strange tattoos too. So now we have the last but not least girl who sits next to the amazon is… a ninja? She have a purple cloth that cover’s her mouth and nose, jet black long silken hair, red eyes which makes her look evil and by red I mean ruby red, just the right touch to make her look evil. She has a kimono I think it is called but short where the legs are which I think is for mobility purposes, it has a combination of purple and dark purple which match really well together, and to give a little more detail to it so are the ends of the kimono dark purple while the area is purple. She has black shoes and purple like socks that goes up a bit over her knees. And she has black piece of armor that cover her arms and leaving her hands free. I stand there quiet for maybe two minutes and no one says a single word, not even them. “excuse me, I need to fix my head for a sec.” I then walk to the side and then I start slamming my forehead against the wall. I don’t do it lightly, I really put some force into it. *bam* *bam* *bam* *bam* *bam* “That should do it” I then walk back to the window and look out but they are still there. The red one then starts to talk. “Are you ok?” I then give out one really good laugh. And after a while I stop. “No… heheheh… I’m not ok. Because I have no fucking idea where the hell I am and I don’t even know if this is real or not and I don’t know what you are…” I then fall back and glide slowly to the ground. Then the green haired one comes to the window. “Tell me about you’re day… I want you to tell me form the moment you woke up till now. I can maybe help you.” So I look at her and then I tell her everything. That I ate breakfast, put on some dirty cloths too help dad switch engine but when I came to that part she looked very confused and I think she didn’t understand one word of the “fixing a car” part. Anyway I continued and told her that I stumbled on the way to the basement and hit my head and when I had that talk with that wurm and that I all of sudden passed out. She then looked at the wall and then said. “Ah… you’re an outworlder. They seemed to pop out a little now and then… I can’t really explain how you got here because dimension travel is unexplainable. I guess I’ll have the honor to welcome you to… monster girl island. (I believe it is called that because that was the name I got way back when I first joined.)” I just look at her with a pale face. “Wh… what?” right now my mind is flooded with questions that I can’t even get hold of one until in the distant I can hear a tree fall. “As long as the trees don’t fall in quick sessions we have nothing to worry about.” But the after a while we hear another tree fall… and another, and then what sounds like a boulder getting smashed. Then I can actually see fear in the green haired girls eyes. “I thought you said that the wurm lost in that fight!” “She did… but apparently she got away and I think we all know her target… and she is not happy.” “If I had known this I would have only helped you out of that cave… not him too… ” I then hear a very eager voice. “So I will finally have someone who is a real challenge to fight!?... come on. Let me fight her!” I then get an idea. “If I’m the target I don’t really understand why you will just throw me out and let her take me.” the green haired one just gives a simple HA. “I’m afraid I can’t do that… she will still go after us because she thinks we “stole” you form her and I don’t want to fight a wurm that is angry. They are hard to outrun but harder to fight.” “So what is your plan?” “Easy… we continue like we are right now and let her just take him.” I don’t even know if I’m hold as a prisoner or are protected right now so all I’m doing is sitting on the floor waiting for whatever is going to happen. And right now the trees that are falling down pretty close now. And then it becomes all quiet all of a sudden and it stays like that for a short while. Then I can hear someone literally pull lose a door which would only mean the door to the four girls. “WHERE… IS… HE!?” I then hear a sliding sound towards my door and it too gets pulled apart and the one who stand in the opening is bleeding heavily form the mouth and the chest has a deep cut. “I… finally… found… you.” she then collapse on the spot in and lands in fort of my feet and I feel sick because I’m not used to see that stuff in real life. “I’ll patch her up… she has been cut by a dragon bane weapon” and for the rest of the way I just sit in my corner and looks at the snake like girl who was that giant dragon I talked to earlier. To be a continue it will ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Don’t worry, the next chapter will have what happened before she got here all badly beaten. I don't know if it got to long but posting it anyway xD |
| Some of us have been conditioned to handle FAR longer postings so this length wasn't too bad. =) I know I shouldn't have gotten this image, but when I saw "WHERE… IS… HE!?" my mind instantly heard Batman... |
| We've seen posts that were practically stories on their own, you're fine. I'm kinda confused about the relationship of all the girls, it doesn't feel entirely organic. Though I imagine you'll explain their existence so for now I tally it for later. |
|
| I would imagine that battle wurm vs. dragon would be quite a titanic struggle, but well, there isn't one...no Carn0geddon? I didn't really got what happened in last sentence :( |
beast_regardsAug 21, 2014 10:08 AM
| Signature removed. It was too good for this cruel world. |
| stil curious of this sneaky girl |
|
Carn0 said: @GGM - sorry for that xD btw you can give sydo a spanking form me cuse I don't wanna do it. THANK GOD. Finally someone normal! As always I'm more interested about the relationship between characters and their behaviour than action, so I'll be waiting a bit more to see where this story is going. :3 |
"You keep changing the shape of your eyes. How does that even work?" -AbhLeaderKrelian |
| Don't worry Sydo, we'll guide him to the path of Sydolightenment as well @w@ |
|
| @EM - I know where you got it from batman somewhere close to the end it is :D @GGM Be patient... I will reveal everything soon enough. And good to know this is a good size I post :D(I like happy face) and good luck trying to enlighten me. I can give you what you have to enlighten @Beast - What u mean by Carn0geddon? the only image I get is this. you think I'm that evil... btw dragons fighting each other is not a bad Idea *gose into darkness* (That last sentence was made when I was REALLY tired... blame ma brain) @Nox - now ya have the sneaky person :D @sydo - YAY! I'm normal... but it dosen't work very well here. Anyway glad you liked it :D Chapter 4/day 1 : The betrayal WARNING: this chapter is confusing and is suposed to be because you the reader will see it after your done with this chapter what happened a few moments before the end of the last chapter My chest hurts… I open my eyes and I see the amazon who was supposed to fight me one on one. She stands close enough for me to be able to give her a punch in her face. *cling* But I’m chained between two iron pillars and they think this is enough to hold me? I start laughing. “What so funny? I know you just did try to hit me.” I stop laughing and I then look to my right and there is there… queen? “Why have you chained you’re queen?... Aren’t you supposed to-” She then punches me in the face and the only thing I feel is a jolt of anger. “Punching her in the face will just anger her… if you value your life then I suggest you stop it.” Amy just shrug. “Since I have captured you and your wurm I have nothing to worry about. By the way what was your husband’s name again?... oh now I remember. It was Carl!” the queen just answered in a calm manner “Leave him out of this…” Then Amy took a few steps to the left and was now standing next a wardrobe that was standing next to the queen. “But he has left all of us.” I then said out loud. “WHAT’S GOING ON HERE!?... I feel so confuuuuused… I thought the two of you was on the same team?” both of them then looked on each other. “Shall you or I explain this situation?” the queen answered with a mocking voice. “go ahead… try to get her to understand. Because she won’t.” Amy then walked over to me and stood in front of me and I just looked at her. “Ok… I don’t really ‘work’ for this queen. I have always worked for someone else. And now I have taken control over her village by slowly killing of the other amazons that did not want to cooperate. I have been doing this for the last… somewhere between 4-5 months. And now that I FINALLY have you my dear… I have completely taken over this village and now I’m the queen.” To… much… information… brain… hurts. “You lost me at when you said you didn’t work for this queen.” The queen then gave of a little laughter and I’m still hanging here not knowing anything. The queen’s normal name is Lana. She’s nice, gave me food and shiny things when I helped her with stuff. I have been helping her for the last 20 years. And by stuff I mean basically bring wood and stones and guarding from bandits. “hihihihi… Wem all you need to know is that she has been lying this whole time about begin one of my clan.” “oooooohhhh… why didn’t you say so then… stupid Amy, complicating things for me. She then slam herself in the face *epic faceplam* I wonder if that hur- what this smell. “I… forgot that you had almost the same intelligence as an goblin.” It’s coming from my left claw. I try to get my hand closer and now I can make out the smell to be… human!? A male! I have a man? When did I get one? “what the hell is wrong with you now?” I remember now. It was this morning and he was talking to me! And he didn’t fear me. But then she came and ruined everything for her li-… wait… *sniffing* he’s smell gets fainter… no. I blocked the entrance to my lair. No one can get him… only unless. “What do you smell?” I then look at Lana and she can quickly realizes what I’m about to say “They are taking my man… away from me.” Amy then gives of this evil laughter and then give of this pitiful voice. “Aw… little Wem won’t be able to have some fun tonight… because her man has been claimed by another dragon.” After I heard that I then pull in my arms and I roar in anger. The chains are connected in four different places. On both side so are two connected to the iron pillar, one on the floor and one in the roof. I then put in all my strength and I can quickly hear the iron giving away. “I guess your time is up.” She then walks to a sword that is lying on a bench. And just as she grabs it the iron chains gives away and I’m free. I pull up my arms in happiness without thinking and she then takes the massive opening and chance to strike me with the sword. I can feel the blade slice on my chest and I start to slide backwards and the leans against the wall. I look on my chest and I got another deep cut. “Damn you…” She just gives me and evil smile. I then closes my hand and I quickly jump towards her and I slam my hand in her chest which sends her flying against the wall on the other side and when she hit it you could her a few bones snap and the wall breaking up a little. I then slide over to Lana and I break the chains that are holding her. “Leave… I can take care of everything here. Go to your man.” she then walks to the wardrobe and opens it and out falls her husband… dead. I without a word just turn around slide a few feet and then punch through the wall and just follow this man’s smell. Outside is an open area and around it is a few houses forming a circle. I just ignore all the other amazons and quickly slide past a house and then came the village wall. I just continue my way and punch through it. And now it’s just a big forest. I continue on my way by following his scent but as I’m about to punch down the first tree I chough up some blood. ‘damn… This is much more serious than I first thought.’ but I continue through the tree but now every punch hurts a lot in my chest which only pushes me harder. I move down every tree and boulder that is in my way and continues like this for a few kilometers and then I see it… a wagon pull by a horse(normal one, not centaur) and I can smell that he is in there. ----------Sneaky person :D point of view --------------- I hear nothing outside… did a wurm in her ancient from just lose to five amazons? Those must have been the only few very skilled amazons. But I am now locked… in her lair. Behind me is a man how’s been put to sleep. And lairs don’t have backdoors… or windows. Time for plan B. I look over the boulder to see if I can see one small opening and… there is! I then take out a small wooden pipe from the side of my left leg and I put it in the opening which is maybe 2-1,5 centimeters wide. I blow out of it and a whistling sound is made. There now I only need to wait. In the mean time I look around her lair and it… has a royal bed? Where did she ever get her hands on one of the best and finest ones… now I remember, She is the one who stole it from the bitchy vampire a couple of weeks ago. So I lie down on it and it’s really nice… I can understand why she took it… I then accidently drift off to sleep. “Aaaaiiissso~ … Aaaissoooo~…….. AISSO!” I am then woken up by a scream and I sit up in the bed. “Morning sunshine, slept well?” I just give her the same cold look I always give her. “I don’t understand you, you never scream when we try to scare you, you almost never laugh and when we pull down that purple scarf of yours you still have that same cold and boring look.” I just continue to look at her. “By the lords you’re annoying.” Sorr then walks away and then Gler comes to me. “Now that is a quality bed… usually only the rich ones can afford them.” “Are you planning on taking it back to the real owner?” She laughs a little. “No… I’m not going to. I wanted to till I now see who has it and I personally thought, as long as it didn’t where any kind of dragon I would but it turns out it was so… she gets to keep it.” I never really like Gler. She always views dragons as the “superior begins” but throw a bag of shiny gold coins and she will jump at it… even if you throw it down in a volcano. “Have you taken the human?” “Yeah… I had to do it because the other two tried to rape him in his sleep. That’s just going too low. Even if he is the first one we have ever seen. I put on some old cloths too, just so he doesn’t need to go around naked. Come, we have what we came for.” We then get in to the wagon and are on our way back to our little camp. ------------------------------------- beast made me think of something stuiped... that's why this chapter came out a little earlier... I should maybe point out on the map wh- *goes into the darkness* |
Carn0Dec 1, 2014 1:53 AM
| hmm i think reading this 1/2 asleep was bad idea XD i got lost so much idk wats going on now XD |
|
| I don't blame you... it is really hard to make a connection by writeing from 3 perspectives. But I won't do it anymore because even I got lost like 3 times when trying to make a good connection. But now everything is connected in the story. :P |
Carn0 said: Man, I don't want to be criticising, but dang, it's confusing |
| Signature removed. It was too good for this cruel world. |
| yup... sorry about this. I'm not proud of this. I am thinking of rewriting it from the start(this chapter). Should I? |
Carn0 said: yup... sorry about this. I'm not proud of this. I am thinking of rewriting it from the start(this chapter). Should I? Really up to you, I guess. |
| Signature removed. It was too good for this cruel world. |
| I didn't get the feeling she had the standard wurm intelligence in the first chapter, but now I'm seeing it XD and you will be enlightened... do not resist your urges... Take them out on Sydo, he craves it @w@ |
|
greatgreenman said: and you will be enlightened... do not resist your urges... Take them out on Sydo, he craves it @w@ No. btw you made me want to keep this chapter... you made one obviuse(me cant spell.) point that just made me able to keep this chapter. I thanka you for that. :D |
| Anyway that I can help.. and don't worry, for some it takes more time to see the light but I will guide you there. |
|
greatgreenman said: I didn't get the feeling she had the standard wurm intelligence in the first chapter, but now I'm seeing it XD and you will be enlightened... do not resist your urges... Take them out on Sydo, he craves it @w@ Stop disturbing other people using my name! Gaddemmit! Anyway, the chapter is really cool XD I have to say that yes, the way is built is a bit confusing, but I think that we'll get used to it after some time. |
"You keep changing the shape of your eyes. How does that even work?" -AbhLeaderKrelian |
SydoKiller said: greatgreenman said: I didn't get the feeling she had the standard wurm intelligence in the first chapter, but now I'm seeing it XD and you will be enlightened... do not resist your urges... Take them out on Sydo, he craves it @w@ Hurry up and join the fun Carn0! Gaddemmit! :3 Sydotranslating is an artform |
|
| This is horrible... 3 months to post ONE chapter... well I'm disapointed in my self but how dose the saying go... better late than never. Chapter 5/day 1: Understanding this new world As I’m sitting in my bench and watching the amazon fixing the snake/dragon I finally take the courage to ask about this place just to get a better understanding of where/what kind of world I have been sent to. The dragon snake is now sleeping too… I think or else just unconscious. “So… just what are the five of you?” I then hear someone speaking from behind me. “Were monster girls… or mamono… why do we have two things that humans can call us?” She spoke with a very childlike voice and then the dragon then directed her eyes just above my head. “Because mamono just sounds… nicer in a sence in comparison to monster girls.” I then look up behind me and I see a little girl with small horns on her head. I look at her in confusion and she then looks back at me and gives me smile. “I’m a goblin, I’m stronger than dragons… but I’m really stronger than any kind of mamono.” I’m now even more confused because that does not make sence. Because in my book dragons are one of the most powerful creatures in ANY fantasy that I can think of while goblins are… the weakest. “Um… define stronger?” She just gives a simple “huh?” and a very confused face. “What he meant was explain what you are so strong in comparison to everyone else. She then come back to her happy face. “Oh… why didn’t ya say so!” She then grabbed the iron fence window with one hand and literally ripped it of effortlessly and throwing it behind her like it was made out of air. She throwed it far away too. Shen then jumped down beside me and then used her pointy finger and thumb on the shackles on my wrists and bended the metal on two sides so they just felled of and did the same on them on my foot wrist. “I’m impressed but I think a dragon can do that too.” I was impressed but I wanted more. That does not beat dragons, I need something more… grander. “Not convinced yet? Stop the wagon!” She said forgetting that she was the driver. “You’re the driver you idiot.” Her face then became all red in embarrassment and she quickly jumped back to her seat and stopped the horses. “There! Now do you the that boulder over there.” I stepped up on the bench to look out and there is a boulder that would be as tall as I am. “Now I’m gonna smash it with my finger.” Before she could go away I grabbed her shoulder. “I believe you. Now you can go back to do what you was doing before.” I then jump down form the bench and sat myself down on it and look over to the other four. “Now what are the four of you… oh yeah… I forgot that the sleeping snake girl said she was a Wurm, anyway can you all be nice enough to tell me what you are?” The dragon girl then sat herself down beside me. “Surly you do wanna know more than just what we are, like our name for example. And since I am so nice I’m going to tell you, my name is Gler and I’m a… corrosive dragon.” YEAH, I guessed right. “Corrosive dragon?... as in your breath type is the kind that melts metal and stuff? And I guessed right too… that you were a dragon.” She just gave me a nod and a smile. But to be completely honest she did have some pretty distinctive features that only dragons have… like wings, horns, claws and a tail. “Well since we all are introducing ourselves to you I guess it’s my turn, I’m Sorr and I’m a salamander. And my parents had a bad fantasy for names.” I look at her burning tail and I can’t get a connection to way it’s always on fire. “Why is your tail always on fire?" “It… just… is… SO DEAL WITH IT!”… I guess it’s just natural… for that race or kind or whatever. She then goes to sit on one of the other benches. “Ent is my name... I'm just an amazon that's here to patch up the three of them if they get hurt... I'm not counting you and the wurm. Were bounty hunters if you wonder why." “So... does the Wur-” “She does not have a bounty on her head.” Well that was a relief. For a moment I thought she was wanted but that does not explain the reason why they took me. “Okay… I just want to know one more thing, why did you all take me from HER cave when you helped you’re ally out… because there really isn’t any reason to take me with all of you unless…” The ninja dressed girl then looked like she realized something. I don’t know what a female ninja is called. “The three of you planned to do something with you… Clever human we have here because I didn’t see it until now. What are you planning Gler? Because what he said is… actually making sense. And I have not been informed about it.” you all know the feeling you get when you have just figured out what’s really about to happen… that nervous feeling cravling up your back and telling you to get out of here as soon as possible. I have that now, and when I look to the dragon I can actually see and cold sweat drop roll off her head. “what’s so wrong with helping you get some cloths and taking you with us to a safe place till your friend has healed up? You have nothing to worry about, and you Aisso… how can you think that I would plan something without telling you?” I then quickly countered. “That she would not agree to it if you told her and that you knew she would try and stop you.” the dragon girl starts to look uneasy… and the other two. I wish the wurm girl awoke now because she is my only ticket out of here. “Ent… why not give the wurm a healing potion so they can leave?” Gler then stand up and looked angrily at Aisso. “Waste a healing potion for a simple chest wound? What have gone into you? You only use those when the wounds are lethal. Don’t tell me you feel pity for a stranger.” This is starting to sound fishy. And I can tell Aisso is seeing the same thing. “You just gave me no choice. She then walked over to the wurm. “You’ll regret that Aisso…” She then got to her knees and clapped the chin on the wurm lightly. At first she only twitched her eye’s a little… then she immediately sat up and screamed. “I’M BLEEDING!” She quickly touch over her chest and then she realized that she had been treated and that she has bandages. “Oh… I’ve been fixed… um… why am I in a broken wagon?” She looked around and when she saw she literally jumped at me and then coiled around me and squeezed every single atom of air out of my lungs. “I’m so glad you’re okay and I was worried that you had been taken to be a…” I stopped hearing what she was so I then tried to say “of course I’m okay please stop hugging me so hard.” While what really came out. “Can’t… *try’s takes deep breath* breath” She then releases the grip and I take a deep breath. “what the hell… were you trying to kill me?” She then looks down to the floor with sad look on her face. “I’m sorry… I didn’t mean to hug you so hard…” She looks at her claw fingers as she rolls them in circles. And when I look at the dragon behind her I can see she is quickly looking away mumbling something and then looks back with a clear smile on her face. “And now that you’re awake we can leave.” “Oh no… I insist that the two of you comes with us to our camp so we can at least give you something to eat.” She is still trying to keep me here… “Don’t want to. I have other… needs… to attend to.” She says with a smile on her face. Gler then changes her look to a serious one. “That wasn’t an invitation.” okay, I have grown tired of this. “Oh go and charm a male dragon.” at first everyone is looking at me with dead silence… and then they burst out in laughter. Everyone falls to the floor laughing in pain… except me because I didn’t get it. I didn’t know I was such a good comedian. The wurm tried her best to get up but only manage to lift up by her arms. “There… *giggles* are no male dragonsHAHAHAHAHAHAH.” okay… then I really want to know how this world biology is working. “If there are now male dragons how come she is here? If there are monster women then there must be monster men too… right?” after what feels like fifteen minutes of laughing they finally stop and they sit down. “There are no “monster men”. There only is monster girls and we need human men to reproduce and the only reason why we took you was because we had thought that the wurm was dead and we was going to use you as a sex slave… oh shit.” Gler quickly looked to her and slapped her back head. “You fucking idiot!” The wurm then closed her claws and got a very angry look, almost like pure hatred. “If it’s true… and you really want to try and take him away from me… then you’ll have to defeat me in a duel.” Gler just looked at her then started to laugh a little. “Fight you?... in a duel one on one…” she walked over to her. “You don’t have what it takes to defeat me… you just make this too easy for me.” she said in a low mocking tone. And the only answer she got was a punch to the face that scents her flying through the wall of the wagon. I don’t know how far, but I could feel a powerful shockwave from it so I guess it was quite some distance. And note to self… NEVER pick a fight with these girls. If all of them have this kind of strength I don’t even want to try. “Don’t think you’re high and mighty… just because you’re a dragon.” She then goes out through the hole and I stand up look out to see and from the looks of it she even flied through a tree… or two. Can’t tell really but something like that. But the scary thing about it was that Gler got up with almost no injuries… “You know what… why don’t you go ahead and drink one healing potion and pick out you’re price… because I have change my mind. I’m going to duel you and I’m going to defeat you and take. You’re. Lover.” So… dragons are going to fight over me… that’s… odd. The wurm then turned around and she looked over the other four. “O, o, o… pick me.” … really? She jumps like a child with her arm up in the air in hopes of being picked. “I want… the Kunoichi.” “Aww… lucky Aisso” “Can they really do this…?” Aisso just looked down to the floor and just kept quiet. “Unfortunately… yes, they can. Because we can’t really stop them anyway… And I think this is the first time in a few years that dragons duel each other.” If dragons would take this so far as to fight one another for ONE man… I’m starting to think that men aren’t that easy to come by… since they even planned to keep me as a sex slave… “Hey wurm… I think you never told me your name.” She just gives me a smile. “It’s Wem.” Ent then tossed a potion to her and she drank it all up. I then walked out of the wagon and sit down on a rock. By the way we stopped around the time Wem punched Gler out. Aisso then comes to sit down next to me and I then take the opportunity to ask something. “How many monster girls lives here?” She just keeps looking at the two challengers for a while. “Three million… we don’t know how many there are in the sea.” Well that wasn’t so bad… “And how many humans?” She was quiet for a while. “100 000… and that’s including females” Something tells me that this… will become something very normal around me… But this gap is too big to be possible “That’s a gap too big to even be remotely possible a-” “everyone… on this island… is blessed with eternal youth… including you. You still age but you’re lifespan is… greatly improved. You can very easily reach 100 years… maybe even 200.” This… is too much for me right now, I don’t know if I should be happy… or sad. “So I will forever live as a viable rape target…” She just nods… |
| No Carn0geddon? Wasn't there some titanic struggle between dragons :-) Also intrigued how population count for articulate especially since we have two regions that work heavily on decreasing population :) |
| Signature removed. It was too good for this cruel world. |
| wait what?... I thought there was only one... I guess I'll have to read other stoies now. |
| Dragon fight! Geez, I was just saying how they keep getting killed off. |
| So, I'll make my personal complain here. I'd like more deep character developement instead of all this characters so early in the story. It would help the reader to get used to the main ones more easily and making the plot less confusing. Enough with my criticism, sorry about that. I loved the goblin XD Waiting for more! |
"You keep changing the shape of your eyes. How does that even work?" -AbhLeaderKrelian |
| So here it is folks... a battle between dragons. I really tried my best to make this as good as possible so I hope ya all enjoys it. And btw here's where the fight is happening and how big it is and some other stuff if there are problems with the url just say it in them comments. Chapter 6: The power struggle between dragons So I’m sitting here on a rock in the middle of a forest and have just been told that I’m on an island (don’t know the size yet) and that the majority of population is these Mamono or monster girls to have an easier understanding of what I mean and there are no “monster boys” because for some unknown reason they don’t… just like so. I wonder how much more info I can squeeze out of them. “So… Just how big is this island? Are there any other islands?” Aisso just kept looking at the dragons… I then poked her shoulder and in an instant she had her katana against my throat. It was so quick that not even the other two girls didn’t even react. She then looked at me with cold eyes. “No… more… questions…” I just nodded and to be honest I have never been that scare in my life. She kept her blade there until the salamander notices it. “AISSO! For the lords sake take that katana away from he’s throat.” Her eyes darted to her. “He… annoyed me…” I can feel my sweat just run on my whole body. “That doesn’t give you the right to threaten him to his life, so take that katana of him… or shall I call on the dragons?” She kept that same cold and then she retracted her sword back to the holder(call me stupid but what is the thing called that you put katana in?) and she let it slide down slowly and it made me only more afraid of her. And to be completely honest… I hope that Wem REALLY reconsider her choice… because I don’t want her around me. I personally rather want the salamander then her. I just sat and waited till one of the dragons to win… Now that I really think about… “Aisso… could I borrow a knife… to pass the time I mean?” I said with a shaky voice and without even asking why she reached behind her back and took one out and handed it to me. I took it and now I really can check if this is all real. But where do I stab myself… I need my hands, Most important… now the foot might be the best because I really won’t need to run because it won’t matter who wins… I will STILL belong to a dragon. So I raised my arm high with the knife in hand was just stopped by the salamander before I could bring it down on my foot. Then she took it out of my hand and started to yell at me. Can’t really blame her. “WHAT THE HELL! WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU? WHY ARE YOU TRYING SO DAMN HARD TO HURT YOUSELF.” This was only the second time… “I CAN SHOW YOU THAT THIS IS ALL REAL!” She then slapped me so hard that I even flied back spinning a few feet before landing. I am now one hundred percent sure that I am really stuck in a world where the majority of the population is pretty women who is half something else. I just kept lying on my back and let it all sink in. To think how quickly your life can change just over one day. “Did you really need to slap him DAT hard?” She just made a quick *hump!* “At least now he knows it’s real… Fucking outworlders…” -------------Dragon Fight the first stage------------ The two dragons are in the middle of the forest away from anyone just to not make any collateral damage to those who have nothing to do with this. They are just looking at each other waiting for someone to make the first move or having anything to say. There are no birds or anything in the area, just dead silence. “You know how a duel works for us now don’t you?” Wem just forms this wicked smile on her face “Well yes, And I have waited sooo long to fight a dragon… we are the only ones who makes are real challenge for us. Everyone else is viewed as weak… because of our racial power.” Gler too has a wicked smile on her face. It’s seems both of them have longed for a fight that they actually don’t know the outcome of. “I’m going to enjoy this as long as it lasts… because there isn’t anything more even than dragons fighting each other and then… the one who wins gets to roar loud and proudly so it echoes to as many as possible. Because there isn’t anything more dangerous than a dragon that beats other dragons… and you know that roar? Doesn’t you? That Bloodthirsty roar that sleeps inside you and is just begging to be heard and strike fear into anyone who hears it… but even only let it out ones we have triumph over another dragon. You can feel it right now can’t you? Because I can and I can’t almost hold back to put my claws into your flesh.” Because of Gler’s speech, She awoke something in both of them. Maybe it is that strive to become number one, that old sense in them that they are the champion over everyone and that they should crush anyone who dears to challenge them. “I… can… and it’s a wonderful feeling… having the will to fight someone of the same kind and then stand over them knowing that they are as powerful as you are… it’s going to be fun to be tested to the limit in both my normal and… ancient form.” Wem looks at her hands and she sees that she’s even shacking… she can’t tell why because there are so many feelings flowing through her right now. Fear, Anger, Happiness, Sadness, Hatred, But there is one feeling that outweighs them all and that is that enormous bloodthirstiness. The will to crush a dragon… and she can also feel that roar that Gler was talking about and it is just begging to be heard by as many as possible. To let everyone know who’s the number one predator. “But the best feeling of all is that now… to even have a chance to win… we must give it everything we got and not hold back on anything. Because all other fights we need to hold back… just to make it last longer and make it more challenging. But now… now we can go all out… and that’s the most satisfying feeling and I believe… that’s where the bloodthirstiness is just going to push us to lengths we didn’t know possible… and it’s been decades since the last dragon duel was. And before we start… I just want to say thank you… for giving me the honor to fight you. And I hope you’re going to fight till you can’t even move anymore because that’s what I’m going to do.” She too looks at her hands and she is also shacking. They are now just standing there… waiting for someone to make the first move. They stay like that for a few minutes waiting for something to happen. And then a bird flies away from a tree and they both charge at that very moment at each other. Wem closes her right fist as she charges and aims for Gler’s head but she blocks it with her left arm and it sends of a shockwave from the force of it but she doesn’t budge. Gler then tries to hit her in the stomach but Wem moves back before she can reach her. Gler then tries to make a grab for Wem’s right arm and she manage to grab it because Wem didn’t see it coming. Gler quickly turns around and throws Wem over her and into the ground onto her back but Wem is quickly up again and slams Gler with her massive tail sending her flying into a tree. The tree almost breaks apart by the hit and Gler is now bleeding on the left side on her head. She shacks her head a little and then jumps up and kicks off from the tree making it snapping in half and fall to the ground. She spreads her wings in the air and tackles Wem so is sent flying this time while Gler easily can land on the spot Wem once stood on. Wem hits a tree and it’s just breaks while she flies through it but a boulder stops her but it receives lots of cracks from the force. Wem choughs up some blood by the hit but she just licks her lips to taste it. She turns around and grabs the boulder and quickly throws it at Gler since there are no trees in the way anymore. But the boulder does not fly slowly through the air, it fly’s so fast that Gler actually has to jump to the side with the help of her wings to not get hit by it. And the boulder was also bigger than both of them. It’s just what Gler had expected of Wem’s pure strength scale. She now knows that she can’t underestimate her even though she’s a wurm. She can see that Wem is a quick thinker when it comes to battle and that means she has lots of experience when it comes to fighting. Because she does not hesitate when it comes to be using the surrounding as a weapon itself. Knowing this just puts a smile on Gler’s face and she takes a deep breath as she sees Wem charging. This makes Wem stop it as she sees that Gler going to use her breath at her. Green liquid shots out of her mouth and Wem slides sideways to avoid getting hit by it. As the liquid falls to the ground it immediately melts the grass to green goo and gives of a hissing sound as it lays there. As Wem slides closer to Gler she stops shooting out the corrosive liquid she tries to hit her in the right side of her ribs but Gler stops her with her hand and as Wem tries to hit her other side she does the same there. “COME ON! Show me your breath type!” Wem just give her the wicked smile before answering. “I don’t have a breath weapon… nor can I fly…” Gler just gives her a serious look because a dragon that has discarded both flying and the breath attack must have something else. Something that must be very rare because she has only heard of a very few cases where this has happened… but no one has really tried to really understand it and write it down. “So… your one of them… now I really want to see your ancient form.” Gler then pushes Wem’s arms up in the air and puts all her strength into them then punches her in the stomach with both hands at the same time. It sends Wem flying through the air and into a tree and though it and into the next and even through that one and when she flys into the third tree it stops her but just barely able to as splinters fly off into all directions. Blood just flows out of her mouth and as she lands on the ground onto her hands and she starts to giggle. Gler then comes walking through the broken debris of those once supposed to be trees. “You know… dragons like you… or wurms in this case, I have heard that you are… more resilient in the more basic matters like, regeneration, harder scales, almost unbreakable bone structure and of course immunity against almost all poisons and diseases. The thing I want to know is what do you have?” Wem continues to giggle and is looking around for something to hit Gler with. And the not too far from her right is a log lying about. She stops giggling and quickly jumps for it, grabs it and spins around and slams it into Gler sending her flying through a boulder and into the tree that was behind it badly hurting her back and wings as well as her left side of her ribcage. “Hahahahaha… It’s been a long time since I was this wounded.” She begins to walk unsteadily forward and she can really tell that she’s badly wounded. “My… insides… is not so good anymore. The taste of blood keeps coming *chough*” Wem has lots of internal injures because of Gler’s hit. And She keeps chough up more blood. “I think it’s time we started the real fight.” Stay tuned for the next part where the big ones going to happen. |
Carn0Nov 17, 2014 12:12 PM
| I guess we need that part about other islands also cleared in the rules. Nothing wrong with the story, it just reminded me, nothing else. |
beast_regardsNov 17, 2014 1:20 PM
| Signature removed. It was too good for this cruel world. |
| The end of the latest chapter has been tweaked a bit. thanks to the one above me. Edit: the last chapter is on the page before this... if there are any confusion. |
Carn0Nov 18, 2014 9:55 AM
| It was pretty cool. Seems like we found another good action writer. The description was simple to follow too, and that's not always an easy thing to do. I'm a bit perplexed about the dialogue before the start of the duel though... I mean, we'll hardly see long monologues like that in a real situation. It's kinda like when you see the villain waiting for the hero to transform without reason XD We'll see the real deal in the next one I suppose! o/ |
"You keep changing the shape of your eyes. How does that even work?" -AbhLeaderKrelian |
SydoKiller said: I'm a bit perplexed about the dialogue before the start of the duel though... I mean, we'll hardly see long monologues like that in a real situation. It's kinda like when you see the villain waiting for the hero to transform without reason XD I did that on purpose cuze Wem... is not smart enough too figure out that she had a huge opertunitty on hitting the opponet. Then again this is a big moment and dragons fighting each other is not common (I believe) btw... I'm not going to make many fight scene. Havn't planed to but it feels good to know I can write fight scene's. makes me happy :D Now I need to learn how to write H scene's... |
| I thought the fight scene was good =) I really must protest that the previous chapter had my head spinning, had to read it quite a few times to understand what was happening. I've caught up now though, waiting for the next chapter! |
| Just so ya all know I have change my [MSG] to [MSGC] just so ya all knowz. Chapter 7: Death can be unexpected and unwanted Now, before any of you ask if I was still lying on the ground looking up at the sky all the time the other two went to fight then your wrong. Because I could feel something when they fought, maybe it was a shockwave or something but I don’t know but it was definitely something. And sometimes you could see a tree fall down and I even saw a boulder flying once. And this fight dragged on for quite a while, But then it got quiet… “Sooo…. Is it over?” Aisso just stared into the forest where the two dragons had gone… she have done so the whole time they have been fighting. “No…” she said while standing up and turning around “The second stage is about to begin… we should be going back a bit… to not get in the way. ” I look at her and I can’t really tell if she’s serious or not because she always have that same look on her face. “No.” I say and everyone gives me a very surprised look. Especially the salamander and the amazon… forgot their names… damnit… so bad with new names. “Are you insane? You’re going to get crushed if you stay here!” I laugh a little at that… I want to try and she how badly they want me… even if I stand “in their way” “You know Saly… if I understand this world right… even if I stay here and watch them beating the shit out of each other even if I’m too close… I think I’m not going to get crushed because I’m too important for them.” I’m gambeling with my life right now and it was something extremely stuiped to say but… for what it’s worth, watching real living dragons go all out is something completely impossible in my other world or wherever I am right now. “I don’t bevlive this… and MY NAME IS NOT SALY! IT’S SORR!” “I’m sorry, I’m bad with new names.” I said looking down on the ground. She calmed down a little by it but she is still… worried I think. “Ok then… I stay too.” Sorr then just turned around and began to walk away. “ Whatever, it’s your funeral.” She said with the goblin and the amazon following her. “You got guts… not something you see in a man everyday.” But I quickly said exactly how a feel right now “I’m going to be honest and say that I’m actually very scared right now… and I’m sorry for earlier but… this is something that’s impossible to see in my world. We don’t have dragons or mamono for that matter. I don’t want to miss something as huge as this. I know that I’m gambling with my life right now… but we have a saying and it sounds something like this ‘what is life without a few gambles, sometimes you have to take them to move on in life.’ Something close to that but still… I want to take it.” Aisso than goes and sits down next to me. “it’s rare to see a man like you to take a gamble… for something as simple as this… but I think I would have done it to… if it was impossible to see in my homeland.” *** “Let’s begin the real fight!” She grins as she sets down her hand claws in the ground and the little stone on her chest begins to shine a bright light and her scales begins to cover her whole body and her chest grows in to a flat like one. Her tail grows out and becomes longer and her legs give of cracking sounds of how they drastically start to change. And her face starts to grow out and her jaw and teeth starts to grow together and her normal with skin gets covered in green scales as her hair grows into her head. Her horns grow out and so does the fins on the side of her head. And all previous wounds she had gotten healed completely and her wings started to grow out longer and also gotten completely healed. Her whole body gives of cracking sounds as it changes and twists into a fully grown Corrosive dragon (for those who don’t know what corrosion is it’s basically acid. Just another name of it.) and she gives out a massive roar. Wem just begins to laugh and as she too begins her transformation (no this is not transformers) she puts her hands on the ground. As she is laughing her laughter begins to twist into something darker and then one leg grows out of her serpent tail and then another one. And her stone on her chest also begins to give of a bright light and her chest also grows into her body and becomes a flat one as gray scales grows out of her skin and her face also grows out and her teeth and lips grows together. Her tail also grows out but at the end on it begins a round ball growing on it and it gets a white like color. And on her back buckle out to a very spiky surface. And on her arms also gets a a few spicks same happens on her legs and the rest of her whole very thick scales. But as she is growing she doesn’t seem to stop until she is almost twice as big as Gler. (To give an explanation of what I mean in numbers so what I meant is if Gler is 100% then Wem is 150% in size. Because she can’t fly and does not have a breath weapon) “SIZE INSENT EVERYTHING! But Wem does not waste time and immediately swipes a claw at her but she doges and the claw completely destroys a tree like it was nothing. And Gler takes the opportunity to bite her in the arm. Wem roars in pain but not as much as Gler thought she would. And Wem then brings her tail into Glers stomach and she loses her grip on her arm and Wem then tries to hit her left claw closed and she does manage to hit her in the side. And as Gler is a little stunned Wem takes the opportunity try and bit her on her throat. But Gler saw it coming and quickly jumps back and fly’s back a bit to recover a little. “Impressive… for a wurm that can’t FLY! She yells and she then takes off into the air and fly’s around her. As she is flying Wem looks for something to throw and she just rips up a tree from the ground and throws it at Gler but she avoids it easily. And as Wem starts to look for another object to throw at Gler she takes the opportunity to fly right into her. Wem does not notice this and Gler gets a perfect hit on Wems back with her claws digging into her flesh. And wem roars in pain again but again not as much as Gler hopped so would and Wem quickly starts to roll around. ‘That was a perfect hit and she still manage to be under control form the pain. That was a serious injury… I guess she really is a… primal dragon then.’ She thought as she saw wem just ignoring her new injury with ease. But then Wem does something completely unexpected. She rolls herself into a ball. A perfectly round ball. Gler just looks at her… waiting for her to do something. Wem then begins to roll against her in a very fast speed. So quick that Gler did not have enough time to fly up into the air. And she gets rammed by her she and sent flying back into tree’s and even a house that was in the middle of the forest and through that too. The distant was maybe 300-400 meters and a lot of trees got broken. “That was new…” She said as she was lying on her right side. “I see she got lots of tricks… I guess I have to expect the unexpected from her-” *Rumbling sound* “AGAIN! No more playing around. She then stand up on all four and prepare for Wem to come rolling. She then takes a deep breath and then she waits. And after a minute she does come and then Gler releases an enormous amount of corrosion and it washes over Wem as she comes. After she got hit Gler then charges at her as she continues to roll and then Glers horns just sinks into her flesh without ease and Wem stoppes being a ball and just screams in pain. And finally, that was the scream Gler wanted to hear the first time she attacked her. And as she screams Gler pull out the horns and then bite her where she got the acid and her teeth just sinks in without ease and Wem continues to scream. Wem then panic’s and swings her tail up and it hit’s Gler right in that special spot. Gler loses her grip immediately and now it was her turn to scream… and painfully at that and Wem takes the opportunity to spin around and slam her tail right in Glers chest. And when it hits there is a cracking sound and she is then sent flying back through a tree. Wem is covered in acid across her whole back. “It burns… and it hurts… But I must endure… or I will lose him forever.” As Gler stands up she chough up some blood. “DAMN YOU TO HELL! You hit me in the cunt you bitch! *Chough* It doesn’t matter. This is a fight and everything is accepted… no rules.” Wem then takes the closest boulder and throws it at her, but right after she has thrown it she charges. Gler just stand on her back legs and smashes the boulder with her right arm. But too late was she to realize that Wem was right behind it and she charge into her with her horns right on her chest. She got sent flying through a few trees and on her back. “She really is a quick thinker… She have lots of experience when it comes to fighting… more than I though.” She realized now that she have underestimated Wem. She got up again and fly’s up into the air again. Wem rushes at her and jumps up but misses greatly. Gler flies of and makes a quick U turn and fly’s back and breaths acid at Wem but she rolls to the side and she misses. “Come back to the ground you coward.” she then runs away. After running 400 meter she found a pile of boulders and she quickly hides in there and waited till Gler decided to land again. She circles the area a couple of times because she couldn’t find her. And then she flies down and she landed again. She then stays on her guard till she hears something. She then hear a rumbling sound and she quickly jumps to the right and Wem barely misses her and she immediately goes up on all four and turns around only to get acid in her face. Wem screams in pain and then Gler takes the opportunity to scrats her with her left claw and it hit’s Wem across her right eye and Gler claw gets stuck in her right eye. Wem Screams even more and tries to her claw of, She then bit’s down hard on her left arm. Gler roars in pain and she feels that if Wem continues to put pressure on her arm she’s going to lose it so she dose the first thing that comes to mind and that is to put her claw in Wems eye. And so she does really poke it with one finger and all the way in and only when she has gone all the way dose Wem relies her arm. And she screams again and after she stops screaming Wem realize something. “No… it can’t be… She tries to look whit her right eye but she doesn’t see anything. “I’m blind… I’m blind on my right eye… you made me blind on my right eye…” Gler can see that Wem having tears in her eyes now but she doesn’t feel any guilt from doing it. “Sucks to be you then…” Her eyes goes from tears to extreme rage. And she gives out a massive roar at her and she is Gler takes the opportunity to bit her in the neck but wem just rams into her. Gler gets her air knocked out of her as wem continues in a straight line though trees and boulder with Gler taking hit after hit until she collapse of Wems head and neck and falls to the ground. Wem then takes the time to stand on her back legs and raises her arms high and claws closed and then she brings them down on where Gler has her wings with massive force. There is no scream or roar this time… only silence. And then Gler gets back into her normal form and that’s when Wem knows that she has just won the fight. She then feels that bloodthirsty roar coming from her deep self and she just want to let it out and be heard. She then takes a very deep breath, so deep that she gets down on all four and then just lets it out. It’s a massive roar, something so loud that it could easily be louder than a jet engine when it starts its lift of. It’s was way louder that Wem first thought it would be and can be hear over miles and it’s a long one. She roars for 3 minutes until finally it’s over. She then transform back into her normal from. She then sees that Gler isn’t even moving. She turns her onto her back and that’s when she sees what she has done. Her whole chest has been smashed and her eyes are blank… not a single trace of life. Her chest was right under a sharp boulder and when she had brought down that last hit she killed her. And Wem just start to cry… because she didn’t want to kill her… she only wanted to win. *** “Guess it’s over. I say overjoyed about the sound I got to hear. That was the absolutely most awesome thing I have ever heard. That going to be hard to beat, because it didn’t matter if I were 3-8 kilometers away and I heard that roar crystal clear. “That was something… amazing.” As she gets up and she then turns to me. “Your now stuck with me… I guess…” I grab her by her shoulders with more energy I have had in days, hell even in years. It was a long time ago I was this happy. “Come on, let’s go see our winner. Then we begin to walk to the two dragons. And under the whole fight you could feel the ground shack and even she other mamono heading away from the fight. It was quiet a mix of them,spider girl, harpys, lamias even and centures. But they are all long gone now. And the scenery before me is just like if it was a war here just a few minutes ago. Completely smashed trees and pulverize boulders and even a few houses in this forest was broken to rumbles. And in a straight line was there completely wreacked. And in the end of it, in the distance was Gler and Wem. But it was like another 4 kilometers in so we walk to them. And after 20-40 minutes of walking could we see Wem crying before Gler. And when I got closer to see why I saw Glers chest completely smashed… I then immediately turned around and I vomited. I’m not that used to see dead people. |
Carn0Dec 1, 2014 5:27 AM
| Carn0geddon happened! Finally |
| Signature removed. It was too good for this cruel world. |
| Awesome. Maybe the chapter I liked the most so far from you. The whole part was filled with dense action and it really got me into it. I'm really curious to see what's going to happen after that ending now... Only one complaint from me. Carno said: "And she screams again(I know, lots of screaming or roaring) and after she stops screaming Wem realize something." That note is utterly unnecessary. We won't complain about a few repetitions, since sometimes it's not an easy thing to deal with, but your note is really out of place, like the clock one in my opinion. So many interesting developements in the stories lately, wohoo! o/ |
"You keep changing the shape of your eyes. How does that even work?" -AbhLeaderKrelian |
SydoKiller said: Only one complaint from me. Carno said: "And she screams again(I know, lots of screaming or roaring) and after she stops screaming Wem realize something." That note is utterly unnecessary. We won't complain about a few repetitions, since sometimes it's not an easy thing to deal with, but your note is really out of place, like the clock one in my opinion. So many interesting developements in the stories lately, wohoo! o/ Glad you liked it and I removed the unnecessary parts you didn't like so... thanks for the feedback. |
| I'm glad that fight's over, poor Wem, she really had a rough time - you'd better make it up to her! --- I do think you need to try and break your sentences up a bit more elegantly, for example: "And Wem then brings her tail into Glers stomach and she loses her grip on her arm and Wem then tries to hit her left claw closed and she does manage to hit her in the side." The endless succession of "and"s and "then"s make this difficult to read, it's like we're falling through the fight instead of seeing it happen. Consider maybe: "Wem brings her tail into Glers stomach; forcing the other dragon to lose her grip on Wem's arm. Swinging her left claw, keeping it closed, she manages to land a hit to Gler's side." ...That sort of thing. I understand the 'not a first langauge speaker' issue, I really do, I'm just trying to help. =) |
More topics from this board
» [MSGF] Shadowt5 Story ( 1 2 )Shadowt5 - Nov 8, 2014 |
93 |
by FlunentDirty
»»
Oct 6, 2019 9:37 PM |
|
» [MSGF] Ookami-51's StoryOokami-51 - Jun 1, 2015 |
39 |
by MetallumOperatur
»»
May 2, 2018 5:59 PM |
|
» [MSGC] MetallumOperatur's Story: A Brave New World ( 1 2 3 )MetallumOperatur - Aug 15, 2015 |
122 |
by MetallumOperatur
»»
Sep 8, 2017 7:54 PM |
|
» [MSGC] - Aspicientis's Story ( 1 2 )aspicientis - Sep 14, 2014 |
87 |
by Clarus_Nox
»»
Jun 20, 2017 5:49 AM |
|
» [MSGC] Greatgreenman's Story ( 1 2 3 4 )New_User_12345 - May 27, 2014 |
167 |
by New_User_12345
»»
May 24, 2017 11:27 AM |