(There’s a saying that “only death cures a fool,” but I have a more optimistic look on the subject. I think it should be “A fool will be cured before his death.”
Of course, you can’t just say “fool,” because there are many varieties of fool, but when I use the word, I refer to the people who create their own hell. One of the features of such individuals, for example, would be that they are strongly convinced they can never be happy. When their condition worsens, this view expands into “I am not meant to be happy,” until they are deluded into the final self-destructive idea: “I do not want to be happy.”
At this point, they have nothing to hold them back. They are experts in the means of becoming miserable, and no matter how fortunate their circumstances are, they will always find a way out and skillfully evade any kind of happiness. Because this entire mental process is happening subconsciously, they think everything about the world is hell—but the truth is that they are turning wherever they go into their own personal hell instead.
I can say with authority, as one of those hell-creators myself, that these people are not easily cured. When misery is part of your identity, then not being miserable means not being yourself. The act of self-pity, meant to help you bear your unhappiness, becomes its own form of pleasure, and you will eventually seek out unhappiness so that you can indulge in it.
But as I wrote above, I think these fools are cured before they die. Or to be more precise, I think they find that cure right before death. The lucky ones might have an opportunity to fix themselves before it gets to that point, but even the unlucky ones, when they intuitively sense that their death is unavoidable, when they are finally free of the shackles of the compulsion to go on living—they are at last liberated from this type of foolishness.
I said my view was an optimistic one, but thinking about it again, I suppose you could also say it’s quite pessimistic. After all, the moment they finally learn to love the world is the moment they know they are soon to leave it.
But I think that to those people whose foolishness is cured after it’s too late for anything else, the world must be such a beautiful place that none of it matters to them. The deeper the regrets and lamentations, such as “I’ve been living in this exquisite world all this time?” and “But now I finally know how to accept my life for what it is,” the more cruelly alluring it must be.
I’ve always wanted to write about that kind of beauty. As a matter of fact, I have no intention of expounding upon things like the value of life or the power of love, whether through Three Days of Happiness or another book. None.)
-SUGARU MIAKI
Well that's what author thinks, take it or leave it |