Takuan_Soho said:willardhwright said: She doesn't seem so aware of the differences though, since for her it's pretty much the same thing as the nerve gear. Either that, or she's reaaally smart, or at least smart enough to think about Asuna's reaction trauma-wise when she says that "you should not even want to see this thing"...
If she understood that VR, and this include the fact that this is pretty much something with REAL people and all, then, given the importance she seems to give to ETIQUETTE, she SHOULD understand that politeness is important here too, just like in real life. ...
She means well, but it's very clear that there are a LOT of things she doesn't understand, ESPECIALLY when it comes to hi-tech.
Good points, but a couple of other points:
1) Asuna not showing up to dinner at the proper time would be like a kid not going home by their curfew, so not surprising that the Mother would be annoyed, VR or R.
2) Also, notice that they always eat alone. This is because the father is out trying to save the remnants of his company (the one who created ALO and the current VR gear as well as other things), so it isn't as if she has good thoughts about VR. This was why she was so keen on a family owned conservative business, the large company her husband owned nearly went bankrupt trying the "new" VR stuff.
these two oints go together. Yes, they eat alone. Which means that it doesn't bother A LOT of people if she's a bit late. The point for e isn't about VR though, it's about politeness, which is imortant in RL AND in VR; it would have been the same way with RL friends; you don't kick people out from your window without a goodbye because of this; she was 5 mintes late, note 15. While as I said she means well, she is very hypocrite when it comes to politeness; "you have to be polite with me but not with your friends" isn't really proper manners for an high-class lady.
3) This ties into how VR interacted with Asuna's life. The Mother did not approve of Asuna's previous fiance, but because the father was so keen on the marriage, she had deferred to his decision, trusting that he knew what he was doing. Well that trust proved completely unfounded and her instincts completely correct, and now she has the guilt of having kept silent from the start. Considering that VR nearly took Asuna's life (in SAO) and soul (the fiance), one can see why she doesn't want to remain silent and let Asuna do what she wants.
I'm not sure about the not approving thing. It's very easy to shift the blame; but then there is another problem: to her, Sugou wasn't good but she was okay because, whatever. It's very far from being a "strong woman" able to handle herself; once again, it goes against what she's trying to teach to Asuna. She isn't wrong, but she's clearly missing some things and doing it the wrong way. Which is understandable. But not "good" and something "normal" for a parent, that's something a parent must learn to do too. making concessions, because a parent isn't always right, and if he wants the best for his child, he must accept that he is sometimes wrong. I wouldn't say that she is a bad person, but she has an hard time seeing other people as... people other than herself.
On top of that, Asuna's personality did change, and to date there is no reason why the Mother should think this is a good thing. Asuna was assertive, intelligent, outgoing, determined to do well with her life and career before SAO, but now she seems to be willing to settle, and is withdrawing into VR to avoid dealing with reality. It also hasn't been that Asuna has managed to help her mother understand this change, so it is easy to see why the mother is extremely worried about her.
Yes and no. How Asuna was may have been a good thing for her parents, but not for her. SAO allowed her to care more about herself; which is just as important than the things before (and, well, Asuna STILL most of these things; being 5 minutes late because she has other people in her life than her parents doesn't make her rebellious.
Also, the question is, how much of this "career" thing was of her own will, and how much was Asuna just accepting whatever her parents did put on her?
Rather than a question about IR, that's a story about how teenager are; they slowly become more independant. It causes some problems, yes, but it's still something essential for an independant person's growth that any parent must be prepared to. Let's imagine that Asuna doesn't want to have such a "career" and that for her happiness = becoming a fish merchant in a small town. It's still her own life after all, and even if her mother doesn't like it because she herself has a problem with the fact that she's only "wealthy" because of her marriage, well... That's projection, you can have your preferences and you can try to talk about it with your children, but forcing them on your children is wrong.
That's mainly just Asuna slowly becoming an adult thanks to her exeriences, something that happen every day even without VR.
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Of course we sympathize with Asuna and find the mother overbearing, but it isn't like her mother doesn't have reasons for doing what she is doing. That is called parenting, sometimes it fails, but in the vast majority of cases, it is for the good. This is merely one of the exceptions.
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Actually, in the last episode, I hated here but she's way better here, mainly because she at leasts LISTEN before saying "I'm your mother, shut up". It's still not perfect, but at least the character is evolving, too. Her mother HAVE reasons; but that's HER reasons, as I said, everyone have his own meaning for happiness, and accepting that yours isn't the same as your child is another iportant thing for a parent; or, honestly, for pretty much anyone toward the world.
And I wouldn't call this parenting. This is bad parenting, from BEFORE the parent understand what it means to be a parent; a kid isn't a dog that have to obey everything because you say so, in the end a healthy family have to aknowledge differences and try to help the other person, being here EVEN if the person make something that is a mistake for the other one. People learn from their mistakes, not from following what you are said to do and not caring about what you want yourself. That's living as a bot, and it's certainly not the nicest way to live.
Again, the character improves and she MAY at least try to understand her daughter soon, but parenting isn't forcing your kid to do what you want based on YOUR experiences or what YOU think. You can give them advices, but if you want something listening to you about anything, usually, you take a dog. Asuna's mom clearly means well. But as I said she has a very big problem; understanding that the whole world and all people don't work like her and don't aim for the same things, and it includes her daughter. In the end, everyone lives its own live, so trying to control anyone too much (and deciding of who you are supposed to marry IS too much, she may say that she is okay with what her daughter wants, but that's IF they have money; what if Asuna is okay with a modest life, and that's it? Everyone has different criterias when it comes to this) is just the best way to make them run away the moment they can.
If Asuna is aimless now, it's very probable that the reason she wasn't before was only because she was listening to whatever her family said, OR that she lacked experience; you cannot judge by yourself if you don't have any experience and just believe what people say to you about the world. So this IS a good thing, because it proves that she now thinks by herself.
She means well, but you clearly see that she does have some problems of her own that are making her really awkward and that she lacks parenting experience. If you REALLY go overboard with someone, they don't have to stay with you just because you're his parents, once they are of age, they are free to just go away. So forcing things this way, EVEN if Asuna's mother WAS objectively right,isn't the way to go in order to have a healthy upbringing, or an healthy family that doesn't split up, for that matter.
Let's be honest though; this is a common cliche in fiction. And given what Asuna was thinking when Yuuki said that "some things can only be shared by fighting", I think that pretty much anybody can guess the whole "confront your mother" theme. With the "cliche" ending of this cliche that you'll find everywhere, her mother accepting that she decides to stand up for herself, etc. Which is pretty much what her mother wanted her to become (although again, this doesn't really fit with the Sugou thing - a strong, leader woman that doesn't approve of a man for her daughter, but decide that, well, whatever, and shut up just because her husband was okay with it? somewhere, a feminist is crying)...... The only thing is that standing up for yourself isn't really something you can learn by blindly following orders. Again, it's pretty much the average coming of age story you'll find everywhere, where both side are right in their own head but unable to understand each other. |