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Mar 7, 2015 11:24 AM
#1

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Jul 2013
1171
Welcome to the advice thread!
Here you can post about all of your LGBT related problems and club members will offer their support and advice. :)

Some topics you may want to discuss:
- Being unsure of your sexuality
- Figuring out and expressing your gender identity
- Dating; how to meet people
- Coming out
- Problems with relationships, family members, friends, partners etc.
- Advice on matters related to physical and sexual health
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Mar 9, 2015 11:26 AM
#2
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Jul 2018
562326
I plan to come out to my parents pretty soon (as soon as I get a job). I'm thinking of doing it casually like "oh hey I'm gay by the way" (rhyming heck yeah). But really I'm not 100% sure if that's the best way to do it. So, I need advice on the best way to come out to judgmental, religious, homophobic parents. Thoughts?
Mar 9, 2015 11:41 AM
#3

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Jul 2013
1171
"Beating around the bush will simply scare them. Just say 'Mom, I love you, and I wanted to let you know that I'm bisexual' or 'Dad, I'm a lesbian.' Your part of the conversation is over with, so now you have to watch their reaction."

This article is good, too: http://www.patheos.com/blogs/freedhearts/2013/09/05/a-guide-to-coming-out-to-christian-parents/

Unfortunately there is no easy way to come out to homophobic parents. It's going to be a long process with them to get them to understand and accept who you are. If they're really crazy, they may never understand. So be sure to have a close friend on backup that you can go to right after you come out to them if need be.
Mar 11, 2015 10:09 AM
#4

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Mar 2008
78
You should definitely wait until you have a job. My parents are very religious and they kicked me out of the house when I told them, so it's a very good thing I had a steady income at the time. Also, another way to go is to find a church that is LGBT-friendly (there are a lot) and tell them you want to come out to your parents. Sometimes they have pamphlets explaining why being LGBT isn't against the church. In some cases, I've even heard of members of the church accompanying you when you come out to back you up. Hope this helps! Keep us posted!

~Clara
May 13, 2016 6:25 PM
#5

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May 2016
405
Hey!
I have more than a few questions, but I'd like to start with the most important one. At least, most important to me right now. How would you go about finding out for sure if you are trans or not? It seems like a really silly question now that I've verbalized it, but I'm realizing more and more that I've always wanted to be/have been inside, or whatever, a women, and I want to know if the feelings are real, or just something else.

I'm also really confused on a lot of LGBT terminology.
For example, if a man is trans but is still attracted to women, how would they describe themselves? Stuff like that. Hopefully I didn't offend anyone.

You can reply here or PM me if you'd like to talk to me. I'd greatly appreciate it. <3
May 14, 2016 12:06 PM
#6

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Jul 2013
1171
Not sure about the first question (since I'm not trans myself) but to answer your one on LGBT terminology...

If a trans-woman (MTF) is only attracted to other women, then she would be considered a lesbian (or whatever other label she may be comfortable with). In my experience, this is not uncommon. And if she is attracted to men, heterosexual would be a good label for her. Really, what it comes down to is that trans-women (MTF) ARE women. Their gender is female. It's not like they are cross-dressers. They are women.
May 15, 2016 9:24 AM
#7

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May 2016
405
That's alright. ^^

So, it's just the term that would "normally" apply to their internal gender then?
That makes a lot of sense, thanks!
May 23, 2016 5:19 PM
#8
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Feb 2016
2057
Hello

How does one figure out one's gender identity?

Namely, I've recently been experiencing some gender dysphoria, in that I'm unsure whether I'm trans or not. How does one sort that out?

Much appreciated, Kuro

May 23, 2016 5:52 PM
#9

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May 2016
132
Kuro-Sama1 said:
Hello

How does one figure out one's gender identity?

Namely, I've recently been experiencing some gender dysphoria, in that I'm unsure whether I'm trans or not. How does one sort that out?

Much appreciated, Kuro



My English skills are low, but I can try to explain a bit:
There isn't something simple to understand.
First of all: you have to understand if what you feel is just that.
Often we like many of the stereotypes of the opposite gender, and we believe that only way of being "right" is being part of other gender.
Gender dysphoria is something much deeper than this, I needed THREE YEARS to consider myself non-binary, besides feeling a girl since my early memories. And a year ago finally coming out as a transgender woman.
A word of advice: always seek for professionals, who evaluate how deep your dysphoria. ;3
May 23, 2016 6:11 PM
Offline
Feb 2016
2057
Queer_danshi93 said:
Kuro-Sama1 said:
Hello

How does one figure out one's gender identity?

Namely, I've recently been experiencing some gender dysphoria, in that I'm unsure whether I'm trans or not. How does one sort that out?

Much appreciated, Kuro



My English skills are low, but I can try to explain a bit:
There isn't something simple to understand.
First of all: you have to understand if what you feel is just that.
Often we like many of the stereotypes of the opposite gender, and we believe that only way of being "right" is being part of other gender.
Gender dysphoria is something much deeper than this, I needed THREE YEARS to consider myself non-binary, besides feeling a girl since my early memories. And a year ago finally coming out as a transgender woman.
A word of advice: always seek for professionals, who evaluate how deep your dysphoria. ;3


Thanks for the advice.

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