Sep 26, 2021
Trepanation in an ancient "medical" procedure involving digging a hole through the skull to the surface of the brain. At the beggining of the music video you can see and hear drilling sound of modern medical equipment.
First sound heard afterwards reminds me of clowns at circus. The sound is being accompanied by morphing pictures of animals which all represent different aspects of human nature. Begins with skull of a goat which is Fallen angel Lucifer or Baphomet. Corrupted version of prophet Muhammad. It changes into fish which resides in water (duh). Which also happens to be where life was first developed on this
...
planet. In the depths of the ocean and depths of our consciousness. Fish turns into octopus. This can mean going deeper into the depths and mystery of consciousness. Next is spider. They can represent femininity, corrupted femininity or both good and bad luck. Usually people are afraid of spiders but rarely they actually are dangerous. Spider turns into malicious teeth that eat you awhole. All of these images were surrounded by waving DNA on the sides of the video.
Our main blue haired girl opens her eyes and starts singing after a second of silence. At first I was distracted by the animation to focus properly on the singing, but upon hearing the song for like tenth time I can finally appretiate it.
Blue haired girl begins singing in a robotic mechanical way talking to what I think is herself about pretty much how there is no more time and she either takes something or lets it go. If she wants to see herself she must make the "deal". Afterwards she is surrounded by blue butterflies. She notices them coming from behind her and gets visibly more impatient. Metamorphosis and transformation are what lies behind meaning of butterflies that are flying all around her. While she is trying to catch them, singing continues inside her head.
"Tell me how its taste"
"The taste of heels"
"They coming up again"
"I gotta tame them all"
She wants to know "taste" of either feeling or literal taste of some food. Taste of heels is her desire to be feminine and wear such clothing. To know what it´s like.
Trying to catch these feeling and truly understand them.
Butterflies turn from time to time to something resembling basic geometrical shapes. She notices and stop herself before catching one. Orange or red butterflies start flying right next to the blue ones. She gets hypnotised by the blue ones and we go inside her again.
Same enviroment as before. Girl turns into a deer which can mean messenger. Right after that it´s octopus again meaning we are goin even deeper inside of her consciousness . Now it´s goat´s skull again which splits into two and morphs into butterfly. And butterfly turns into a new red/orange version of our girl.
NOW she fits with the orange enviroment like a painting unlike the original girl and all the animals in the middle which were all blue.
Singing begins again, this time she sounds lot more softer and human. Like a mother speaking to a toddler. One of her eyes is focused while the other one blends into her face as if it wasn´t even real.
"Maybe we´ve been blind"
"But the falcon´s eye reftracted the lights"
"You find what you wanted ? "
"Did you miss what you lost here ? "
"Can´t call your name without crying"
"I´am wading through this river"
"The unclear promise"
"And I will believe it again"
In the middle of singing we are shown blue haired girl standing right on the opposite side and we realise there are two of them. Blue haired girl attempts to touch her but she holds back. Suprised opens her mouth for a second as if she wanted to sing along. Her eyes turn bright red and she disintegrates. Orange eyes appear on the screen for a second.
Blue girl comes back with her mouth closed and singing continues without the orange girl. Singing of her dear pain that can´t go away. It´s like the blames the blue girl for driving her away. One of the lyrics is:
"I think I could feel. I would let you stay here."
Enviroment changes behind the blue girl into bright blue as well. She sinks into the deep blue abyss. Only to realise it´s orange at the bottom.
Next shot of her is being consumed by orange enviroment laying and floating.
Verses repeat but this blue haired girl sings them. Now they´re one.
"Maybe we´ve been blind"
"But the falcon´s eye reftracted the lights"
"You find what you wanted ? "
"Did you miss what you lost here ? "
"Can´t call your name without crying"
"I´am wading through this river"
"The unclear promise"
"And I will believe it again"
Her head splits into many more. They talk to each other through singing. One can´t let the other one go away. She is trying not to blame herself. When she turns into a deer her head explodes. Now she is cow. Symbol for continuance of life. Both hatred and love are same to her. Desperately trying to keep her emotions and attachment to reality she looses herself.
Next scene for me represents flow of time and growing desperation and unsatisfaction with herself and her discovery. At some point it feels like she warns herself not to let go.
"Maybe we´ve been blind"
"But the falcon´s eye reftracted the lights"
"You find what you wanted ? "
"Did you miss what you lost here ? "
"Can´t call your name without crying"
"I´am wading through this river"
"The unclear promise"
"And I will believe it again"
Everything is consumed by darkness. She turns back the clock. Fishes and octopuses swim far away. Blue girl is swimming back to the surface and submerges. Even the last butterfly in her subconsciousness fades away.
She opens her eyes.
And finally catches the butterfly. Smiles. Looks at her hand.
And finds nothing.
Unlike in the first scene. The colors here are lot brighter and welcoming. Only to turn to what they were at the beggining. Just...a bit blurry. Confused not saddened she looks into the distance as the camera reveals her full body in the real world.
Half-human half-machine. Unfinished. Left in what is a desolate place with no conscious lifeform. From the distance she keeps blinking at us like a lost child.
During the credits we see the butterfly still residing in the building with the girl.
What we have confirmed by the singer that this is a story about half android trying co attain human consciousness.
But I also think that she has achieved this very think many times before. Every time she achieves it and becomes one with her consciousness she feels lost and overwhelmed by these emotions in an empty world with no one to explain any of them to her. She tries to keep them but at the end gives up her consciousness and forgets until one day she starts desiring or wondering about it again and comes back to reclaim it in an endless cycle.
Was she blind when desiring consciousness or when she was trying to get rid of it.
also it sounds nice so listen to it.....now....again
Reviewer’s Rating: 8
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