Ken-sama, King of the Otaku, was once perusing the wares of a local anime convention. The great hall of goods had surpassed his expectations, and as such, the good Ken-sama was in dire need of assistance to carry his bags of new anime girl figurines. The wise king thought it best that a great Otaku assist him, for then his rewards would go to that Otaku and not an ironic weeb.
The King asked to the people, "Who among you is a true Otaku?"
A young man in a graphic t-shirt said to him "I am a true Otaku! I've even learned Japanese just from watching anime, and I am fully fluent now!"
"You are not a true Otaku." said the King.
Another young man said to the King, "I am a true Otaku! I've watched every anime, I read all sorts of perverted doujins, I know Japanese, my room is full of ecchi figurines and I'm such a degenerate that I even own a body pillow!"
"You are not a true Otaku." said the King.
A young man in an ahegao t-shirt carrying bags of hentai and lewd figurines said to the King, "I am a true Otaku! You can tell from just one look at me! I watch so much hentai that I can speak Japanese now, and my body pillow stands up on its own! I also love cultured memes, UUUUUOOOOH!"
"You are not a true Otaku." said the King.
The crowd was a in a fervor- each man seemed like more of an Otaku than the last, but yet even the man clad in ahegao faces was not the same level of Otaku as Ken-sama?
Just then Lord Ken-sama saw behind the crown a man in his mid-20's, dressed discreetly purchasing a Nendoroid figurine of Saber from Fate/Stay Night.
"You there! Do you think yourself a true Otaku!"
"No, my Lord." The man was clearly embarrassed to have been seen buying anime merchandise.
"And for what reasons are you not a true Otaku?"
"My Lord, I am completely nihongo dekinai even after years of study. I know nothing about manga beyond the most popular works. I have no great collection of anime merchandise- this is my first figure. I have only 1cc'd a single touhou game. I'm clueless in matters of idol groups and vtubers and I do not even have an oshi. There are countless great anime and manga that I have yet to make time for. I've recently started playing a gacha game at work. And perhaps the worst of it Ken-sama is this- I like white women and 3D."
"This man is a true Otaku!"
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The King asked to the people, "Who among you is a true Otaku?"
A young man in a graphic t-shirt said to him "I am a true Otaku! I've even learned Japanese just from watching anime, and I am fully fluent now!"
"You are not a true Otaku." said the King.
Another young man said to the King, "I am a true Otaku! I've watched every anime, I read all sorts of perverted doujins, I know Japanese, my room is full of ecchi figurines and I'm such a degenerate that I even own a body pillow!"
"You are not a true Otaku." said the King.
A young man in an ahegao t-shirt carrying bags of hentai and lewd figurines said to the King, "I am a true Otaku! You can tell from just one look at me! I watch so much hentai that I can speak Japanese now, and my body pillow stands up on its own! I also love cultured memes, UUUUUOOOOH!"
"You are not a true Otaku." said the King.
The crowd was a in a fervor- each man seemed like more of an Otaku than the last, but yet even the man clad in ahegao faces was not the same level of Otaku as Ken-sama?
Just then Lord Ken-sama saw behind the crown a man in his mid-20's, dressed discreetly purchasing a Nendoroid figurine of Saber from Fate/Stay Night.
"You there! Do you think yourself a true Otaku!"
"No, my Lord." The man was clearly embarrassed to have been seen buying anime merchandise.
"And for what reasons are you not a true Otaku?"
"My Lord, I am completely nihongo dekinai even after years of study. I know nothing about manga beyond the most popular works. I have no great collection of anime merchandise- this is my first figure. I have only 1cc'd a single touhou game. I'm clueless in matters of idol groups and vtubers and I do not even have an oshi. There are countless great anime and manga that I have yet to make time for. I've recently started playing a gacha game at work. And perhaps the worst of it Ken-sama is this- I like white women and 3D."
"This man is a true Otaku!"