At the time when you hear this message, I am probably dead. That is because if I were still alive, I would have removed this crystal from the shared inventory on Christmas Eve and let you hear what I have to say personally.
That... Let me clarify why I have recorded this message.
I, probably, will not survive for long. Of course, this does not mean that I doubt the capability of Kirito and the «Black Cats of the Full Moon» guild. That is because Kirito is very strong and the rest of the members are getting stronger by the day.
How should I explain this..... A very close friend of mine from another guild lost her life. Being a timid person like me, she only hunted in safe areas, but because of her bad luck, she was killed by mobs on her way back to town. After that, I pondered over various stuffs and I came to a conclusion. To continue surviving in this world, it matters not how strong your companions are, if you do not have the will to live or the determination to survive no matter what, death definitely awaits.
For me.. Truthfully, ever since the first time I stepped into the beginner practice area, I was and have been very afraid. Actually, I never intended to leave the Starting City. Although I was very close to members from the Black Cats of the Full Moon in the real world and I enjoyed the time we spent together, I hated going into battles. I probably will die eventually if I continue to hold this attitude in battle. This is not caused by anyone, the problem lies with me.
Ever since that night, you've been telling me it's alright every night and that I won't die. That is why if by any chance I die, you'll definitely blame yourself for it and won't forgive yourself. This is also the reason why I thought of recording this message. I would like to tell Kirito, it isn't your fault. If there is any problem, it would be me. The date will be set on the next Christmas, because I would like to at least try to survive until then, hoping to walk down the snowy street together with you.
Actually.... I knew how strong Kirito is. One time, when I woke up from Kirito's bed, I accidentally saw your level from your opened status window behind you.
Even after thinking long and hard, I still did not manage to come up with any reasons why Kirito-kun would hide his real level and form a party with us. But I didn't mention this to the other members, as I believed that someday you would tell us the reason personally.... I was rejoicing when I found out that you are very strong. After knowing that, I started to be able to sleep peacefully as long as I am by your side. Perhaps to you, being with me might be of significance to you, this also made me very happy. If this is the case, there was definitely meaning in me coming to the higher floors even for a timid person like me.
That... Actually, what I am trying to say is, even if I die, you should strive to survive. Live on, look upon this world until it ends, please help me find out the reason why this world was created, the meaning of why such a timid person is in this world, the significance of our meeting. That is my wish.
Ah... Seems like there is still some time left. This crystal can record plenty of stuff. Hmmm, then, since Christmas is such a special occasion, I'll sing a Christmas carol. I do have some confidence in my voice. I guess I'll go with [Rudolph, the red-nosed reindeer]. Actually I would have preferred to sing other songs like [Winter Wonderland], [White Christmas] which are more well known, but unfortunately I can only sing the lyrics of this song.
Why did I only remember [Rudolph, the red-nosed reindeer]? The previous night, Kirito said something to me, "No matter who you are, you definitely can make a difference in someone's life." Telling me that even if it is me, there is a place where I belong. After hearing those words, I was extremely glad and I remembered this song. I don't know why but it was probably because I kind of thought myself as Rudolph and you as Santa Claus.... if I have to put it in words, you give off a fatherly feeling. My father left me when I was still very young, that is why every night when I was sleeping beside you, I kept wondering if that was the feeling that a father would give. Ah, okay, I'll start singing.
Rudolph, the red-nosed reindeer had a very shiny nose.
All of the other reindeer used to laugh and call him names.
Then one Christmas Eve
Santa came to say:
"Rudolph with your nose so bright, won't you guide my sleigh tonight?"
Rudolph who was always crying, started smiling that night.
...... To me, you'll always be like a bright star that shines and guides me from the opposite end of a dark alley. Good-bye, Kirito. It was really fortunate of me to have met you and to have been with you.
Yes. It's just like you said. If I listen closely... I'm overflowing with so many sounds. I'm not alone. From the moment that we meet someone else, none of us can ever be alone. We're all connected.
(Kaori) Don't leave me all alone!
Dummy. You have me. Inside me...
(Kaori) Inside me...
(Both) ... You exist.
No way am I gonna leave you all alone. Reach her... Reach her... I'm piling on everything I have...
Reach her... Reach her...
Reach her!
Reach her!
Reach her!
Reach her!
Just kick your illness to the curb! And then, one more time, we'll... You and I... Thank you.
Wait... Please don't go...
Pester me for caneles again! Call me to kill time again! I don't care if I'm just Friend A... Don't go... Don't go...
Please don't go! Please don't leave me behind!
Goodbye...
Goodbye from Kaori
The "you" that my underhanded lie brought to me wasn't who I'd imagined. You were more negative and passive than I thought, not to mention stubborn, relentless, and a camera voyeur. Your voice was lower than I thought, and you were more manly than I thought.
And you were... just as gentle as I thought.
The river was so cold and felt so good when we jumped off Courage Bridge, wasn't it?
The round moon peeking into the music room looked like a delicious manju bun.
When we raced that train, I really thought that we could win.
It was fun singing Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star together under the shining stars, wasn't it? There's just something about school at night, right?
Don't you think snow looks just like cherry blossom petals?
To be so consumed by everything off-stage when I'm a musician... that just doesn't make sense, does it?
Look how you've gotten more sensual. You've grown up, haven't you?
Isn't it funny how the most unforgettable scenes can be so trivial?
What about you? Was I able to live inside someone's heart?
(Kousei) Yes, you were.
Was I able to live inside your heart?
(Kousei) You barged right in without taking off your shoes.
Do you think you'll remember me at least a little?
(Kousei) If I ever forgot you... you know you'd come back to haunt me.
You'd better not hit "reset!"
(Kousei) As if I ever would.
Don't forget me, okay?
(Kousei) Okay.
That's a promise, okay?
(Kousei) Okay.
Kousei Arima... I love you.
I love you.
I love you.
I love you.
I love you.
Sorry I didn't finish all the caneles.
Sorry I hit you so much.
Sorry I was such a brat.
Sorry a million times over...
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