Mrmm. It's better, but still presents some things that I'm not a fan of.
"Just to let you know," This opening is toxic to me. It makes it seem like you're saying "Just as a side note," and reviews shouldn't have side notes.
"This is strictly my opinion." We know it's your opinion! It's a review!
"If you don't want to see me criticizing the show, go to the enjoyment section." NONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONO. Don't target your audience like that! Don't put them under pressure! You're reviewing the anime, not trying to please the audience! If they don't like it, they won't read it! That's like saying, "If you don't like ice cream, just eat the cone underneath it." It's a waste of words!
The rest, from what I've seen, has improved, especially your "Characters" section. I'm not sure if it's just Hummingbird, my computer, or your computer, but there are some upside-down quotation marks within your review that bother me. I'd check into that. There are still some flaws, but it has improved. Good work.
There are plenty of things I could say here, but I'll minimalize it down to a couple bulletin points.
- Don't put faces in your reviews. Please. No one wants to see those, except for people looking for a cute chibi buddy.
- Your ratings are... strange. You give the animation a two because you claim that most scenes were left unanimated. So... is this animation? Is the entire show a still-shot? Another example, you give sound a five, and cite that the themes for the show are nostalgic and the voice acting "is ok," yet give it a medicore five. Really? That's all nostalgia and "okay" does for you? I would expect you to rate it much higher than that for those purposes.
- Lack of information. Specifically in your "Characters" section (but not lost in your others), you go on to describe Konata as she is, but then state her father as "the greatest guy ever." Then you go on to completely skim through every other character in the series, including the three other main characters that contribute to a large part of the series. What makes Konata's father the greatest guy ever? Who is this policewoman? Who are the other main characters? Who do these archetypes go along with? Introduce us to the characters! I want to know who I'll be staring at for twenty four straight episodes!
Another thing, your story section is far too underinformative. Yes, you shouldn't just copy/paste the synopsis in your review, but give the reader something. What is the plot? And don't say "It's a slice of life, there is no plot." Everything has a plot, everything. If it didn't, it wouldn't be a show worth showing. It's a show about four teenage girls participating in a daily, modern Japanese lifestyle. Check. Through each episode, they face predicaments that accompany these daily changes in setting and circumstance. There's your plot. Don't just advise those who are reading your review to refer to the synopsis. That only makes you look lazy and incompetent as a writer. If you really can't think of anything to write, then make something up. Use your opinion. How could this story be better? How could it be more enjoyable? What flaws does it have? What about it excels? Is there anything, anything worth mentioning with all of this? Tell me more, tell me more, tell me more!
- "I" should always be capitalized whenever it stands alone or is connected to another word by an apostrophe. Examples: I, I'm, I'll, I've. ALWAYS. No exceptions.
Those are just some issues I saw with your review, some may (and probably were) be turned off by your incredibly low rating of such a popular show. Keep working at it, and as such, your ratio should increase, granted you don't give Cowboy Bebop a one. That'll cause a serious rampage.
All Comments (3) Comments
"Just to let you know," This opening is toxic to me. It makes it seem like you're saying "Just as a side note," and reviews shouldn't have side notes.
"This is strictly my opinion." We know it's your opinion! It's a review!
"If you don't want to see me criticizing the show, go to the enjoyment section." NONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONO. Don't target your audience like that! Don't put them under pressure! You're reviewing the anime, not trying to please the audience! If they don't like it, they won't read it! That's like saying, "If you don't like ice cream, just eat the cone underneath it." It's a waste of words!
The rest, from what I've seen, has improved, especially your "Characters" section. I'm not sure if it's just Hummingbird, my computer, or your computer, but there are some upside-down quotation marks within your review that bother me. I'd check into that. There are still some flaws, but it has improved. Good work.
- Don't put faces in your reviews. Please. No one wants to see those, except for people looking for a cute chibi buddy.
- Your ratings are... strange. You give the animation a two because you claim that most scenes were left unanimated. So... is this animation? Is the entire show a still-shot? Another example, you give sound a five, and cite that the themes for the show are nostalgic and the voice acting "is ok," yet give it a medicore five. Really? That's all nostalgia and "okay" does for you? I would expect you to rate it much higher than that for those purposes.
- Lack of information. Specifically in your "Characters" section (but not lost in your others), you go on to describe Konata as she is, but then state her father as "the greatest guy ever." Then you go on to completely skim through every other character in the series, including the three other main characters that contribute to a large part of the series. What makes Konata's father the greatest guy ever? Who is this policewoman? Who are the other main characters? Who do these archetypes go along with? Introduce us to the characters! I want to know who I'll be staring at for twenty four straight episodes!
Another thing, your story section is far too underinformative. Yes, you shouldn't just copy/paste the synopsis in your review, but give the reader something. What is the plot? And don't say "It's a slice of life, there is no plot." Everything has a plot, everything. If it didn't, it wouldn't be a show worth showing. It's a show about four teenage girls participating in a daily, modern Japanese lifestyle. Check. Through each episode, they face predicaments that accompany these daily changes in setting and circumstance. There's your plot. Don't just advise those who are reading your review to refer to the synopsis. That only makes you look lazy and incompetent as a writer. If you really can't think of anything to write, then make something up. Use your opinion. How could this story be better? How could it be more enjoyable? What flaws does it have? What about it excels? Is there anything, anything worth mentioning with all of this? Tell me more, tell me more, tell me more!
- "I" should always be capitalized whenever it stands alone or is connected to another word by an apostrophe. Examples: I, I'm, I'll, I've. ALWAYS. No exceptions.
Those are just some issues I saw with your review, some may (and probably were) be turned off by your incredibly low rating of such a popular show. Keep working at it, and as such, your ratio should increase, granted you don't give Cowboy Bebop a one. That'll cause a serious rampage.
Accept
Deny