HOW TO BE POPULAR ON MYANIMELIST (aka fail at life)
Guys: • Post shit a lot on forums.
• Display a pretentious swag level of over 9000.
• Hide behind a picture that:
a). Looks nothing like you.
b). Portrays what a trap faggot you are.
• Ask girls or other trap faggots to be your "Imouto" and do kinky shit to you.
• Pretend to act like a white knight on MAL but add hoes on skype and act like a thirsty pervert.
• Finally, always remember to look down on anyone you don't know and act like you have a life.
Girls: • Post shit a lot on forums.
• Display a pretentious innocence level of over 9000.
• Hide behind a picture that:
a). You wished you looked like.
b). Attracts male attention.
• Make a lot of perverted "Husbando(s)" & "Onii-chan(s)".
• Proceed to add said husbando(s) and onii-chan(s) on skype for lewd fun.
• Finally, always remember to act like a depraved slut in secret while pretending to respect yourself in public.
Other Tips: • Make sure everything you say is perverted masked with a hint of intelligence and sarcasm..
• Be online a lot.
• Isolate yourself from reality.
• Most importantly, stay strong. Reject the notion that you are wasting your life and will never amount to anything.
Inspired by all the MAL socialites.
THE MANY FACES OF THE INTERNET ಥ‿ಥ
▪ The MAL Cunts
(¬‿¬) "DERP. Give my comments some loving Senpai. Let's have a threesome with your new waifu <3" Translation: "I'm so lonely. I wish I had a someone I could say that to"
People who literally live on MyAnimelist. Isolated from reality. Spending their time posting on forums and other profiles that benefit their lives in no way whatsoever. Filled with pretentious pride from their post counts and online popularity. Devoid of real human contact, they fill the void by socializing on a Anime cataloging website. They make their profiles pretty and appealing to other users as if it elevates their status. Believe they have some sort of "SWAG" and are too good to reply to users who they deem below them. Often engage in sexual perversion via text with other lonely users.
▪ The Gangster
(◣_◢) "Brah, you ain't shit. Ay for real. Come say that to my face mo'fucka." Translation: "I'm going to turn on my CAP locks and show him how serious I am."
A person who was bullied through out their lifetime. Often imitates Bruce Lee movements in their bedroom and then flexes in the mirror feeling like a boss. Crosses the road when returning from Mcdonalds when approached by a group of youths walking towards them. Then turns around 5 minutes later to see if they are gone. Uses words like "BRUH" and "NIGGA" even though they are not black. Acts pretentiously tough on forums often asking to "FITE ME IRL BRO". Smoked weed once but can't roll a blunt.
▪ The Hottie
(◡‿◡✿) "xxX new selfie wiv my bae <3" Translation: "Tell me how beautiful I am bitches."
A person who has lost a quarter of their life taking pictures of themselves. Believes they are God's gift to Earth. Feels fat after drinking water. Uses words like "BAE" and "YOLO" and other nonexistent words. Requires other people to compliment them in order to feel good about themselves. Fails to start a sentence with a capital letter and spells words incorrectly on purpose. For some unknown reason cannot put their phone down. Has a One Direction ring tone. Wishes they had a "Clear History Button" for their vagina.
▪ Mr Popular
( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) "Lolsies x3 Ermaghawd like I know. Me too~ Hahaha! Best buddies! :3" Translation: "ERROR. Translation failed. Please upgrade to the premium edition to unlock the 'Full Retard' translation feature."
A person who is very popular on the Internet. Puts in a lot of effort into their online profiles and personality. Looks down upon others who are not as popular as them. Spends majority of their day sitting at their computer. Usually sweaty and smelly. The only real friends they have are the ones from high school who occasionally say "Hi" to them when they bump into each other on the streets. Posts on their own Facebook wall. Hides behind a pretty avatar because they are not very attractive. Borrows money from their mom. The only sex they ever had was with their hand.
▪ The Otaku
∩(︶▽︶)∩ "Episode 3 was mediocre in my opinion. The animation quality dropped noticeably. Regardless season 1 was much more enjoyable and had more in depth character development. This season is utter garbage, I think I might just put this on hold till the show picks up again. " Translation: "Retard Translator 2.0 has stopped working. Windows is checking for a solution to the problem"
A person who is a die hard Anime and Manga fan. Nothing is more important to them. Majority of their life is wasted by reading about and watching nonexistent characters. They know more about Hentai than the opposite sex. They like to collect figurines and sleep on a body pillow that has a Anime character printed on which they frequently molest to fulfill their perverted fantasies. The last time they had a lover was in a wet dream.
▪ The Cool One
(¬▂¬) "Bitch get a life. I don't have to waste on people like you." Translation: "I really hope they reply."
A person who pretends to be better than the people above. Acts like they have a busy life but secretly is desperate for real companionship. Has made all their friends online. Their voice mail is always empty and their room smells of pets. Lurks forums looking for buddies while pretending to be pro active with life. Can't update twitter because they haven't done anything.
IF YOU'RE ONE OF THE ABOVE THEN YOU ARE AWESOME AND SHOULD CLICK THIS LINK.
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