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Merry Christmas, Liana.

Oh. I was going to say I guess that means you haven't played the last of us, but that did come out 11 years ago.

Anyway, Happy Mother's Day

Random question.

You still game?

Happy birthday, Liana.

Just saw the birthday message. Thanks!

Merry Christmas, Liana.

ご挨拶貴婦人!

Good afternoon miss! Have you been studying Japanese too?

Ah yes! Voltron, that was my first anime and it's been ages since I last watched that old Toei anime. That anime, Zoids, Big O and playing Armored Core on Playstation (with my brother) are what got me into mecha.

My supertomboyish, big Virgo friend with green eyes is even more mecha-saavy. She told me that Rahxephon is one of her favorite anime and she goes hiking when she's not watching anime. I would totally buy her the latest Armored Core for Christmas and the franchise has been multiplayer since it came about so no surprise there (Darker overall atmosphere and not arcadey like most Gundam games).

Ah yes! Crispin Freeman is definitely one of my favorite actors. His Sakaki voice in Dot Hack GU was so sinister. He's also one of the reasons why I love Shin Megami Tensei. His Heat voice was so fierce and fiery.

Well milady, that's all for today. I got lots of jōyō kanji and Silent Möbius left to cover. Yes, Japanese is serious commitment for future PhD holders. I also intend to replay Wild Arms 2 and Sakura Wars 1-4, all in Japanese.

Hi my friend, the comment I read from you on my really ancient profile touched my heart so much, so sincerely. I absolutely had no idea I still meant anything at all to you as a friend, especially given how long ago it was when we first met, in 2006. Thank you for remembering me even as recently as 2001, apparently. This all happened by complete coincidence as I searched for anime music to download onto my phone too, then I saw a familiar profile name and anime social media website together on the google search results. ❤️ 💙 💜 Thanks for being such a good friend all those years ago. I hope we can reconnect, if that's what you wish. It's certainly been quite an eventful last 7.5+ years for me since I began transitioning June 10, 2016. 😅 ❤️ 🏳️‍⚧️

Oh hey, Mal is working again.

I don't really hold that against you. Three kids and a husband is a lot to deal with. I don't think anyone would fault you unless you make promises you can't keep.

You and I used to share a lot, so it's not as if I haven't heard you vent before. If my memory is somewhat together I still remember you talking about your dog. Though I can't remember if it was a husky or not. Funny enough I'm thinking about getting a husky. Though I've heard they're drama queens.

One of the things my mom said she regret it was not having a third kid. I think she wanted a girl.

Can I be clear that I'm not trying to make you feel bad or guilty? I guess you could argue one way of rectifying it is talking more than once a year. But again, you have a family, so it's not like I expect or have expected anything from you. I guess more so I did back in 2019 when I reached out, but after that I was like you know, she has her own thing, so I can't expect to jump in like everything is the way it was. Which is fine. Last year when I told anybody about it I turned into a blubbering mess, so probably better that I didn't say anything.

Simply put, you wouldn't have burdened me with anything. Sometimes when people vent to me I guess I enjoy it because it takes my mind off of the crap in my life.

My mom was never really pushy. She did want a grandson though. I think that's the one thing I feel guilty about when it comes to that. I used to want five kids. Then it dwindled down to two or three and then it just became none. Not to say that if a woman was pregnant with my kid I would be upset by it, but I wasn't actively trying to be a dad. Part of me wishes I had had a kid with the ex from the past, but that's water under the bridge.

Not that I lie any other time, but being completely real I didn't really know how to broach the subject with you. You and I aren't as close as we used to be and we don't really talk outside of the occasional conversation and happy birthdays and so forth. Didn't want to randomly message you and burden you with my problems. It would have felt like I was begging for sympathy and that's just not me.

It was more like it was the final nail in the coffin. I was of the mindset that it wasn't for me, but everything after that pretty much sealed it.

I think the hard part is condolences make you realize everything is real and not just a nightmare. It was private to the point where I didn't even tell a good chunk of my family what happened.

Yeah, they knew.

I guess you could say The only positive thing to come out of this is I discovered who actually cared about me and who didn't. It also helped me to decide that I have no plans on getting married or having kids. Pretty much eliminated it.

Thanks. Condolences around this time last year made me feel worse. Not as bad now. I won't lie and say it's been easy, but the whole thing of one day at a time.

It started January 11th, 2022. She went to pick up my nieces as she normally does, and later that night my brother texted me and said she was going to spend the night there because she wasn't feeling well. Next day, he told me he was going to have to call the ambulance. Originally they said she was only going to be there for 3 to 5 days and then go home. Then that turned into we have to take her back to the ICU, and it was downhill from there. She died exactly a month after my birthday.

Same. Might have been three.

That sucks. If I know one thing, parents miss the grandkids more than they miss their actual kids. 😂😂😂

She died 413 days ago.

I thought there were two of them. Either one was born when I wasn't around or I completely forgot there was three.

Slightly.

You don't even video chat with them, or do you just mean face to face?

I guess you could say that. Without sounding too dramatic, I'll just say hug your mom really tight when you see her.

Aren't your nephews grown now?

Main thing I remember about 2008(when I was 24) is Dez, you, G4, and Ohio State.

I mean it did say the last time I was on here was 2019(no I don't remember logging on in 2019). So much has happened in that 4 year window. Heck, the last 14 months have probably aged me more than the last 15 years.