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>>Do you dont wish to do sibling things with your brother tho? I
Im not sure what the sibling things even means. I have a brother 5 years older than me so it's almost like from 2 different generations tbh. When I was 13 and finally started to puberty. My brother was already at his late teens so we didnt have much thing we could share with each other. And when my brother was 12/13 I was basically at my googoo gaga phase. We used to fight a lot. And used to complain to mom about each other. Only thing we had similar was our interest in Cricket. And thats all. Now that we are both growing older. The age gap seems to diminish. I can openly communicate about things now. And I think the age gap will become irrelevant more and more the time goes by. But the sibling things I see on internet isnt something Ive experienced.

>>Like lets say, most of the parents of my generation wouldn't dare to go to a fancy restaurant or a cafe and I never did when i was a kid with my parents but I am pretty chill now with my experiences with friends and I could use that on my brother to let him experience things I couldn't as a child
I do wanna help my brother. I honestly loathe how unsocial he is. I dont loathe my brother for it but Im disgusted about how I cannot do anything about it even though it seems Im the only one who knows its importance. Ive tried enough of time already to thw point Im tired of trying. If my family wants him to be raised a certain way then be it. It was my responsibility to do what should be done but if its my family that are the ones stopping me then Im out.

>>I dont think Nepal has a serial killer yet. Maybe there are who have killed multiple for business purpose. Dont think there are killers who kill just cause they enjoy. Lets hope that doesn't happen, cause there is no fear of anything when you go out except for the vehicle accidents.
Im not sure if there has been any news of Nepali serial killer but lets be honest there has to be one. That we are not aware of.

>>Lets hope that doesn't happen, cause there is no fear of anything when you go out except for the vehicle accidents.
Serial killers are absolutely shit human being but if Im being honest I love to watch documentaries about them. Their mentality of 'killing', their morals, and everything about them seems really fun to watch and think.

>>Also you said it became your favorite Indian movie so I was also sure that it wouldnt be something normal like I explained there cause if it was something like that you wouldn't have liked it.
Ya I immediately felt this uneasiness when I started to watch it. But then slowly the main characters just got more and more fascinating. I love these movies. Idk if its coz I dont expect much from Hindi movies that even the slight change in approach is enough to impress me. Tumbadd is another one of my favourite hindi film. Its absolutely basic interms of characters writing but it has really good plot and just amazing direction and story telling. If that movie was made by some hollywood director then I think I wouldnt feel much about it coz I'd expect it to be atleast on that lvl. But from India? Its crazy. But Aamis and Sector 36 just solos everything Ive seen from Indian cinema.

This is a common experience when youre alone with your thoughts it’s easy to overthink and imagine worst case scenarios. But when you're actually facing with the situation the reality is often less overwhelming than what you anticipated. It's honestly disappointing lmao.
This is a sign that fear or anxiety sometimes grows from overthinking, not necessarily from the actual difficulty of the situation. The mind can magnify the potential dangers, but when you push yourself to act you might realize itts not as hard as it seemed. Its a good reminder that often the hardest part is just taking that first step.


Its normal to be interested in having a connection with someone, but it’s also okay to not rush into it just because it’s seen as a cultural milestone. The way society views these things can sometimes make us feel like we’re behind or missing out, but that’s not necessarily the reality of your own journey. And, in the grand scheme of things, relationships whether romantic or otherwise are just one part of a much bigger picture. Getting a girl, dating a girl shouldn't be your end goal. Its really necessary to be contained with one self first. Coz as popular as this line is but this is true "you cannot be happy in a relationship if you arent happy alone". This achievement thing really do makes us wanna rush on these things but we dont carre to see if we arre rready or not. Just think about it for once if you were a girl "would you date a person you are now?" If not then something needs to be fixed and there is no point trying to be with someone rn. There are these saying called "Find someone who is made for you. Accept them for every darkness and all these shits" which I dont personally believe. For me it's more about "find someone for whom you'll change yourself to be the one for them". Everyone has their own pace.

>>I can absolutely deny the norms of society as long as its not written in the law but as you know i am not in that stage yet where I can truly be myself.
You are 21/22. There is no "the perfect" version of yourself yet. Its the case for me as well. We as a human grow to learn more things. We are changing everyday, every little steps we take in life. So this being true to yourself is hard since you might not be the man you were yesterday so were you not true to yourself yesterday? Coz you today is the one you feel like is the true you? Every small decision, every shift in perspective, is part of that journey toward greater authenticity. When you feel more ready, you’ll be in a better position to embrace who you truly are, without the weight of societal expectations hanging over you.

>>This is not only about girls. Please dont view me as a virgin otaku weeb nerd lmao.
Shit is really tempting me to feel this way about you man.

>>One more reason to visit your cafe. Tho i am not scared of you unless do something scary like pulling my pants in the public ig.
You're always welcome man as long as you dont run away without paying ig. XD.
Make sure to wear jeans with tight belt.

>>So what did you do? Reels?
I went for a walk. Smoked 2/3 cig and came back. Then started to yes you guess it 'reels'.

>>The "US, BASED, KING" communication era was purely golden.
Indeed man. It was really fun times. I especially miss the 2020/2021 anime community of nepal. It was simply the most fun time Ive ever had on the internet.

>>But i kinda never expected you to see anywhere except MAL.
Idk man I think I personally expected me to see you everywhere except for MAL. Since Ive different pics, different names so no way you'd recognise

>>What do you normally watch on youtube? I will watch whatever pops up in my home page unless I have a motive to watch something.
Mostt of the time I watch the Elden Ring, dark souls, sekiro or any souls game gameplay from streamers. I watch Alok and Mark's videos since their advices are the only advices that I take seriously from the internet. And I also watch animal and insect fights. Especially insects.
These are probably only long ones I watch usually. For shorts I mostly watch random cafe and drink related videos. And also chess and games shorts. But also I watch anything thatt I feel like watching.

>>Thats good man, good to see you sleeping early. As a fellow early sleeper welcome to our realm.
Thanks for accepting and welcome me into your community man.

>>Also motivation alone isn't enough, If i have been wanting to do something for a long time and im interested in it i just need to force myself at this point. I cant wait for motivation to kick me all the time. Sometimes once you force yourself motivation comes on along. Sometimes it indeed is too late to start.
Thats a serious block then. Interest to me isnt an issue. Im always interested to write. The only thing blocking my way is actually finding aspiration. Like what should I write about. I find writing easier than finding what to write about. Maybe its coz Im just starting out and im on my creative burst phase since Ive lot of experience to write about things I usually write about. Forcing doesnt work on poems I feel like. Poems for me is like writing down my emotions and feelings at the time I am experiencing it. And you cannot force an emotion. Maybe what poem to you might be different so there might be an opportunity to force yourself but I simply cannot. But I do get ideas from random ass things like I recently saw 2 flowers and wanted to write one so I did. Lmao

To me recently poem has been the best way to tell a story or pour out your emotions. Ive always liked how much you can speak with such little lines but since I started to write myself. My appreciation has just gone up and up

>>Yeah, i may not be able to fully understand your case but i can see what you mean. But again wouldn't you not talking to him make things worse? Since everything you guys have been through isn't direct and is mostly based on assumptions?
Ya maybe Its all not true but I doubt my brother is someone who isnt annoyed by it. He is really competitive about things he does well. I used to be like this and atleast I got the praise I wanted to hear but he isnt. So I look at him like the old me who didnt get the praise for things he does well. And if it was me I would hate it. Still its all my assumptions.

>>We all have different life and both of our brother's and you and me are completely different people so yeah of course we have different way of handling similar situations.
True man. I dont think my praise will get him anywhere mentally since he doesn't see me as someone he looks up to but more like someone who is holding him back from getting praises. One whose praise he is asking for isnt giving him so my brother is doing everything he can do get nothing. And at tthis age I dont think kids do for themselves. Its mostly to show off to otther people.

>>Why do you think he was like that during the interrogation? Was it because he was confident that his master would bail him or he thinks killing is not a big deal cause he's been doing it since
I think it's the combination of both. Both together makes him appear calm, almost unaffected by the gravity of the situation during the interrogation. But I think his idea of killing being no big deal outweighs his trust for his master. Confidence in external help from someone as powerful as his master. So he wouldn't be in any problem. But the most important reason is the normalization of violence. The way he responds would depend on his psychological state, his upbringing, and his view of consequences. He's been raised in an environment where violence and killing were normalized, he might view his actions as routine, without emotional conflict or fear of the law.
This really made him a standout character. If he was anything like what you expected, then I would really hate it. It wouldn't be anymore than your everyday crime thriller hindi movie.

The idea of focusing on "normal" things, as you mentioned, is a solid approach to reducing anxiety in social situations. You’ve already noticed that you can engage in activities like talking to a shopkeeper or a khalasi without much fear those are great examples of how your confidence has grown in everyday interactions.
It's also completely natural that some situations still feel intimidating or make you feel like youre compromising your personal comfort. Everyone has those triggers, and its okay. The key is recognizing that these feelings dont define your worth, and just as youve learned to navigate other situations you can gradually ease into the more challenging ones. Over time as you continue to focus on what you can control and what matters to you, you’ll find it easier to prioritize your own thoughts and comfort rather than letting fear of judgment dominate.

>>I just need to go out more ig. I need to experience society and take risks. I am still very far from what you did with the girls while asking the way, but I hope i reach that stage someday.
Probably the only option. The only way to get over your fear is accepting and facing the fear itself. You cannot sit at your home all day thinking one day my social anxiety will go away itself then I'll go socialise. Doesnt work like that.

>>I am not free until Wednesday, i wont even be at my house. After that until Saturday im pretty free. I will message you on Instagram when I decide to come.
Thats okay man. I'll be here from 7 am to 3 pm for this week. Lemme know if you ever wanna come.

>>but if its funny and entertaining relatable stuffs i would watch it for hours.
This has been my routine lol. I dont have much time to play games. So i just go home. Eat, watch reels while on bed. And I sleep like that. Maybe youtube sometimes. I fell asleep at 8 yesterrday. Woke up at 3. Didnt know what to do lmao since I had 4 more hrs to go untill my job starts.

>>You get high if you keep thinking about getting high or drunk. Which obviously isn't true, could be slightly true. But I do think like that when Im drinking. Like dont think of getting drunk or high at all.
I honestly think this is somewhat true. When you consciously try not to think about getting drunk or high while drinking, youre practicing mindfulness. This can help you stay more in control of your experience and avoid becoming overly focused on the idea of reaching a certain state.

>>For how long did you sleep at 2/3? How does it feel on a regular basis? Why is it that you guys cant sleep on time?
As long as I remember correctly. My sleep schedule was fked for 4/5 years. I think all startted siince Corona. I was playing games all day, all night untill 2 in the morning at the very least. So that just became a habit. Even when I didnt play game, I still wouldn't be able to sleep early coz I was already in thus habit of sleep at 3-4 wake up at afternoon shit.

>>How did you get yourself into sleeping early. Did you force yourself or you started getting tired more because of your new lifestyle?
I was starting to sleep relatively early for my habit coz of my fight with my ex. I used to be mentally drained that I couldntt play games nor did I have any motivation to do anything. So I just laid on my bed and watched yt vids untill I fell asleep. So tthats how it started and when I got the job. I had this extra physical draining on top of my mental one that I would sleep instantly once I laid on bed. So to answer your question no I wasnt forcing myself. It just happened to come alongside with my new lifestyle.

>>. I would probably stop writing poem if it doesn't start making sense or I dont find a proper word. So im thinking maybe i shouldn't think about making sense first. I should just write what I imagine and I would have enough time to tally it, and even if I dont i would have a full poem ready solely based on my imagination.
Thats the single worst thing that can hold you back. I literally shit on my notes. Literal shits. Anything that pops on my head. I write. Even if tthat shit makes no sense or even if I know there isnt anything that I can write to continue this idea. But I still write. There isnt anyone that doesnt write shit and only writte golds. Waren Buffet said he iinvested on 100's of things and 99 of them were shit ideas and didnt get him anything but the one tthiingg that worked forr him made him billions. There is no point on thinnking if this doesnt make sense coz who knows you'll find your gold in one of those shits. I have like 40/50 random lines laying around being a burden to my notes. I randomly have this on my notes
''It’s okay that she still lingers in my thoughts
as long as it’s not a source of sadness
but a place where gratitude and fondness can grow."
And I dont fking know how will I continue this further. Infact this isnt even a start. This will be like almostt the ending of a poem if I ever continue this. Which I dont think Ill ever do.

So ya man. Just writte whatever the fk yyou want. Lot of actual writers say "if you wanna write anything first learn to shit on the paperr"

>>That's literally every parents.
I think when this generation become parents, they sure will know the importance of things outside the school shit.

>>anyone pretty smart these days. Thats also literally every kids in this generation. My brother's aight in studies but does good on general knowledge
My brother is good at studies. Infact very good but he gets compared to me coz I was one of a kind student when I was a kid. I always was amazing at memorization as well as creative writing. So i used to win literally everything in school. Essay writing, poem writing, speech, debate, chess, table tennis, quiz and also being first from the class. My school used to give medals and prizes to students at the end of the year and my mom used to get embarrassed about how many times she had to come on the stage and alongside me to take the prize. Like she would go and take a prize and she didnt have a time to go and sit back at the chair coz school would ask her to come forward again. So coz of my past my brother gets compared to me a lot. Thats fking stupid shit to do to a kid coz my brother might start hating me coz everything he does, he doesnt get enough credit coz I did that but a lot better 8/10 years ago. And I honestly see it in my brothers eye. He doesnt idoilize me he borderline hates me. But I can see where he is coming from.

>> dont understand why you dont talk, when you are not at fault. Its also not like your brother asked for it and you failed.
I think you should understand why I dont talk with my brother after the above comment. Its justt that he is a growing kid. He isnt getting praises, what he wanna hear coz of me and how I was when I was a kid so Im not someone to idiolize from his pov. So itts no point of me talking coz he is a kid and he dont have the capability to think what I say.

>>watched sector 36 today. It was a weird movie tbh. I wasn't expecting the interrogation part to be so epic
Fk yeah man. Its one of the best movie Ive seen in bollywood. Its way too unique for what it does and how it does. The serial killer guy literally terrifies me. Like how simple he looks from outside while being as twisted as a human can get. The police guy is amazing character as well his ending was heartbreaking. After not caring much about anything, filled with lust for money and all. After finally deciding to do whats good and help. he fking dies just like that. The interrogation part was ffanttasic the whole kaun banegha crore pati thing. The only other movie that hit me liike this was Aamis. Aamis and this might be the only two movie that I find hard to believe was made by an indian.

>>. We are embarrassed to perform these acts, cause we are consciously aware about it. We are consciously aware thet "if i fall right now here everybody would laugh at me and that would embarrass me
That's a very particular type of thing though. Embarrassment is natural but what things you are embarrassed about? Shits like farting, tripping over is pretty obvious thing to be embarrassed by but what does tripping over and farting does to you ? Nothing. Did it help you in anyway? No. But thinggs like singing might be something of a passion of yours and if you walk while singing, you might get embarrassed coz people might judge you but should that matter? No. Coz you have something thats more important than people's validation which is following what you believe and love. So you wouldn't get it embarrassed buut things like farting and tripping over isnt what you wish to do. Are you embarrassed about holding your girls hand while walking? Fk no. Why? Coz your time with someone you love is lot more important than people's validation. But is fart more important? I dont think so. So I think what you really should understand is that being embarrassed is okay but what things you get embarrassed about matters more.

>>So what I think is maybe its okay to be embarrassed in front of people, but I should be able to forget it like everyone else who laughed at me.
Its okay to be embarrassed about things as long as it doesnt affect things you love to do. First thing is tthat people judge otther a lot less than what you might think. But even if they judge, they wont remember it for too long since everyone has a life to take care. Its fking hard to truly understand this despite its one of the most obvious thing out there.

>>But theres also a chance that might not happen and im just here worried about thinking something that might not happen.
Ya they say "if you dont risk the thing you love then dont cry for thing you lost"

>>What did you do to get in?
One of my frnd loved tthere. He went there for a month twice. So one time I just went with him and justt asked them to join. So in short I physically went there.

>>Half boiled is good but the process is kinda boring.
Looks like the process doesnt matter if the ending result is a masterpiece. Atleast I dont care.

>>For boiled or half boiled you just sit there doing nothing for 8-10 mins.
I first boil the water then add the egg in the water for 8 minutes then immediately put it in the ice water coz itt will cook itself if I don't. The hardest part though is peeling it lol. Sometimews I just make it ttwo piece and eat with a spoon.

>>Are you addicted
Short answer yes. Long answer absolutely yes. I cant go 2/3 hrs without smoking.

>>. They dont even know that I eat buff and have eaten pork. Have your parents learned about you smoking or drinking
I used to drink with my family sometimes so they knew I drink. But they've yet to find about me smoking. They will definitely beat me up but I dont think it matters. Imagine smoker beating anotherr smoke coz they found them smoking. Pretty funny.

>>Do you think you will tho? It might very well still be possible but its very rare.
I don't. My height is stable for 2 years now so I dont think I will grow anotthherr inch in myy life. And Im cool with it

>>Yeah, sure man. I would love to drop by someday. Does it open on Saturdays?
It opens everydayy 7am to 8 pm but saturday its 10 am to 7 pm. I take leave one day. Nowadays its sunday but I might start to take leave on Saturdays now. Its flexible though. Ill be here if you wanna visit.

>>I too dont hate Instagram reels myself. But i fear i might get addicted.
I really wish I wasnt addicted loo. Jk. I love tthem.

>>Only people who do it daily can do it. I am not a gajedi prodigy.
I was a drinking prodigy though. I used to drink like tttherre is no tomorrow and still not gett drunk. Itt took me 3 whole beer, half a whiskeyy, quarter of a vodka and quarter of a rum to get drunk and vomit blood.

>>One of my friends cooked weed like a tarkari. We planned to cook it because it was really too much more than a half bora.
Not this but Ive once made a tea with weed. It was disgusting but welp what more can I expect from a weed.

>>Dk about your friends but my friends wouldn't leave a single drop of alcohol. Lmao even if it was bong water they drank it.
Thats pretty disgusting. But why waste money I guess.

>>Back then when i used to get up at midnight or anytime during the sleep hour and decided to check phone I would see you lmao. Bibek as well.
Ya I used to sleep at 2/3. I always thought that when I sleep doesnt matter as long as I sleep 8/9 hrs. I was wrong. We grow to see better days it seems.

>>can never do that even in the worst of the worst condition i would all asleep.
Thats an amazing thing man. Ive recently understood the importance of sleep. Took a while but Im glad. I dont think I can ever go back to sleeping at 2/3 am. The energy I have these days is crazy.

>>. I was Imagining each and every line while reading. I am liking this not limited style, makes me want to write as well. I might write something just to try this style first probably.
That's generally what I go for man. One of my frnd who has been writing for few years now said how good I am writing vivid imagery. I use a lot of metaphors of nature so its easy to make an image of what I write. And I think I agree as well.
Id love to see you write. You look like someone who can write. Just need motivation I guess.

Also happy new year man

>>You have never beaten your brother as well?
Unfortunately not. My brother is pretty well behaved so I never got the opportunity to beat him. Plus I wouldn't want to beat him anyways.

>>Why man?
Its hard for me to talk to him. My parents are pretty strict towards kids. I hate that but there isn't much I can do to make them less. You don't know how many times Ive tried to convince my family to understand that school knowledge alone doesnt take him anywhere. Make him join combat fighting classes, extra classes like any musical instruments or anything but they wont listen to me. It's not like we cant afford it. One time I didnt talk to my mom and thulo mom for like a month coz of how stupid tthere response was. And I became the bad guy infrontt of everyone. So from that time on I started to not care about what my brother does coz no matter how hard I try to makke him do things that will make him creative and something that will help his social as well as his physical health, my family won't allow. So I once straight up said that "you guys will ruin his life. When that time comes think about what I said " I think that might be the reason I stopped talking to him.

>>Do you know kamal pokhari near city center?
Ofc I know. Kamalpokhari and baneshowr are the only two places I go if I have to watch a movie.

>>Did you never wanted to upload videos on youtube?
I never wanted to. Ive always realised thatt to be famous for on youtube you have to do something no one has ever done yet. Or you should have completely new way of executing already existing content and I dontt have any.

>>Lets hope so. Ig you start caring too much about what others think when you grow and thats what I need to stop doing.
Think about it for once. Thinking about what other people feel about you is what makes u human. It's evolutionary. In the stone age humans lived in the tribe because we couldn't survive on our own coz animals were faster, stronger than us but what we excelled in was our intelligence so we started to live together. And if there were 20 people in the tribe and you kick out one then he will die soon. So the concept of exclusion = death was fixated in our mind. So we always needed social validation. Its human nature. You cannot completely change this is pretty simple answer. But what you can do is wanting validation from people who fking matters. People who have no business being in your life then those people's feelings about you shouldn't matter to you. This is as simple as I can make this sound. We can talk about this more if you want to but I think this is all there is if I have to be short

>>How did you apply for it? Is it like anyone can go there for a specific amount of time?
There are lot of ways. You can call, mail or just visit them in person. Tell them about whatt you wanna do and they will give you options like do you only wanna do this mediation or complete package which is around 30 days. And you choose what youu want and boom you are in.

>>Half boil takes a lot of time as well. Poach feels perfect.
I prefer half boiled though. Poach feels good to eat but I'm a "boiled eggs" kinda guy.

>> I would choose poach over any egg ietms taste wise. No taste is perfect taste for poach.
I wouldn't choose poach egg over half boiled but still poach eggs beats most food items.

>> slept at 4 am that day. Then I didnt smoke for about 14 days.
I think your body itself asked for u to stop smoking. Thats nice. My body also used to get fked after smoking but overtime my body adapted to it. Im definitely not proud of it. But welp cannot do anything.

>>Maybe it was cause of drinking milk tea and smoking early in the morning in empty stomach. April is around chaitra. There was welcome program in our college in chaitra 25 that day was when I last smoked. Chaitra 25 could be May not April.
I dont drink milk tea so thats why Im kiinda fine. I smoke and drink black tea in morning. I do drink milk tea but around 11/12.

>>But i have heard it may also increase upto 26 or 27 but it is really very rare.
I was 6 ft 2 years back annd Im stiill 6. And honestly im fine with my height now. The most I wanna get is 6'2 and Im done. But Im also cool with not growing a single inch now.

>>noticed a cafe where there was water flowing in the glass opposite to US embassy. Do you know that one? Or it could be the one as well? IDK.
That's quite not it. I work at the cafe 2 stores left tto the cafe you saw. If youre free to someday yyou can viisit since your hhome is pretty close it swems.

>>I mean if you keep liking and engaging with that type of posts ofcourse similar type of post will keep coming. You can click on not interested by clicking three dots if you are really getting annoyed by it.
No no I love these posts. Its weirdly funny and also wholesome at the same time but I wish I also got some dark stuff.

>>But this is what i think ever since i realized this. Dk if it makes sense.
I dont wanna pretend tthat I understand this fully but I kinda do what youu wanna say. For me bong is thhe worst since bong instantly hits my fking neck and I actually have a slight breathing problem since I cannot only breathe with my nose. I also need my mouth at the same time so I cannot breathe properly while I smoke bong. The weed youu use in bong is supposed to be smoked at once which I literally cannot coz I cannot hold my breathe for long enough.

>>. That was one of the best and unique experiences i had.
Ive also smoked weed with rum and before and it hits different for sure but I wouldn't waste a rum for weed. Rum is kinda expensive. It's like 2800 for a bottle.

I really dont havee a ttime to watch anything tbh. I come back home and I have maximum of 3/4 hours untill I sleep since I started to sleep before 10. Sometimes I ffall asleep before 9 and its really changed my mood. People were right when they said sleep schedule is one of the most important things in life. Ive never felt so energised before.

>>LMAO XD I was literally about to punch my screen and kill my self just now. I pressed send and it diddnt show the animation of loading to post and it didnt post but i saw from another tab and it was there lmaoooo.
I dont take risks anymore. I always writte on nottepad and justt copy passte and only delete in nootepad once its sent. MAL has fked me multiple times already.
Also I postted new poem of mine just today. The lore is pretty simple. I saw a pair of flowers 3/4 days ago and I watched them for a while and started to think how carefre they are. They have no stress about life, they dont know the concept of greed, expectations, disappointment or anything that I am suffering myself. And I felt how I want to be likke those flowers. Simple, pure and peaceful.

I have really good time with kids as well. Everywhere I go, kids like me. I purposely scare them sometimes and kids dont know if Im playing with them or Im actually angry so they do get scared sometimes but I don't have a problem with being around kids.

>> But cmon dont tell me you havent beaten a kids and made them cry yet. You just need to do that sometimes.
I have not beaten kids as long as I remember but ive played wrestling matches with my brother. I have a 13 yrs old brother and I really dont talk with him much. He asks me few stuffs and I answer and thats pretty much it. I dont play with or anything.

>>We wanted to upload videos in youtubes and i also shamelessly acted in the middle of nowhere where tehre were a lot of people.
Thats surprising news to me lol. Never thought you'd be one of those people lol. But looks like you were pretty outgoing type before so it wont be hard for you to go back to your past self now.

>>. He used to say things like, people their sleep for 2 days straight, they laugh and cry all day.
Yep he wasnt lying. As much as this sounds stupid. Its really a fun thing to do ngl. Im not sure about the sex with each other thing though. I stayed there for 9 days. Never experienced anything like that. I wanted to do the Catharsis meditation as well but I didnt have a time to so I didnt. Its all what I say I did before plus it also includes anything like anything. Punching random stuffs, screaming, singing, dancing etc. its just a method to let go of any negative emotion you might have anyway you want it to.

>>Is it the one in the place called mudkhu you went to? Or is it anywhere else also?
I went there as well. Im not sure if there are anymore of these places. I know a lot of these kind of places but Osho's one I dont know if there are any other. I might be wrong.

>>since there was no actual physical contact with each other they were also kinda kam chor
Welp Im kaam chor sometimes in my job as well.

>>Raw egg as well. The only place tomato has respect from me is momo ko achar.
Ya raw eggs are disgusting as well. I prefer runny yolk but I need the whites to be cooked. I dont really care about the yolk being cooked though.

>>How many do you do in a day?
If its my normal day like waking up, job, come back home and sleep then Ill say I smoke like 7/8. But if its my leave day then Ill say its prolly around 12/15.

>>Yeah but isnt it better if it happens during teenage with all hormone and testosterone thing
20's is definitely the best age to do this ngl. For height I dont think its much you can do. Its genetic mostly. If are meant to be short then there isnt much you can do to not be short. I got pretty tall without doing anything. My brother did everything he could to grow a bit more and he ended up being 5'8. So I think these 'this helps u grow height' is pretty bs.

>>where is it that you work?
I work at chakrapath. opposite of US embassy to be exact.

>>You really do post a lot tho. You must be really loving the instagram meme format.
Im kinda sad nowadays tho that I dont get much darker stuffs anymore. I dont know what happened to my algorithm but all insta shows me are some random reels related to relationship and flirting. I like few of those though.

I usually prefer Sikhar ice but I dont even care what I smoke. I just need smoke coming from my mouth.

>>I also just recently found out that I have never actually had weed in cigarette. All I have ever done weed is in bong.
I hate bong tbh. Idk why. I like rez. I too dont really smoke weed in cigarette coz its not enough. So I go forr rez.

>>Looking at my history it really shocked myself.
And also i have never had any can beers. I may have this one, but it was shared so not an entire can for myself.
Ive always hate beer. Even when I was a pretty cool drinker. Like Beer is shit if you wanna get drunk might as well drink whiskey or vodka. And it tastes fking shit. For taste Rum is the best especially in winter with little honey. But I wont let myself drink a single sip anymore so it doesnt matter.

>>have you watched squid game
I dont have any interest. I might watch it just for sake of it since its kinda too popular. But I doubt It will be soon. Have you watched it.? How do you feel about ut?

>>Lmao I beat the shit out of a not so close relative's so
Hello. Children helpline.

>>What I really hate about kids is their audacity to own literally anything cool they see.
Since I used to be one of those kid. I cannot complain. That phase was quick to go away buut I remember me being one of these. I just love kids when they are in there gogo gaga age. They're just the cutest creature in this world. Once they start talking and once they start to grow a little bit then they start to get annoying. But I shouldn't think this since raising a kid is all I want in life.

>>I mean i am too desperate to get out of my house so i might do anything.
Thats nice. Though what work do you think you can do without any prior knowledge? I think there are not much.

>>But you saw my story about panipuri, thats really very relatable. I wont be able to get into panipuri shop if there are girls lmao fr
Lmao that was funny. I intentionally go if there are womans. I recently started to ask women that I think are younger than me the direction for random place (which I know) and when they help me, I tell them "Thank you didi". Ive been getting some serious stares since many women dont really like being called older. Idk why I started to do this.

>>Its mostly girls only that I cant talk with.
Looks like you gotta start doing what Im doing recently lmao.

>>. I have been to osho tapoban once. But i was like 12 13 and I just followed my mama. People were just doing yoga there at that time.
Ive been to Topoban lot of times. I just loved the atmosphere there was. Absolutely amazing people all around. Just jungle. People doing yoga, and also lot of stuffa that actually sounds stupid but honestly is practical like there is a kind of meditation or whatever this is called where forr first 3 days for 2 hr eachh day they will ask you to cry. Literally cry. No mattter why the fk you cry. You hhave to cry for 2 hrs straight. If you dont cry then the helpers there will help u cry and honestly they do some serious depressing stuffs. And thhe next 3 ddays you are Asked to laugh forr 2 hours. If you dont they will do anything to make u laugh. And the rest 3 days you literally dont speak a single thing for 3 days. And im not kidding when I say this but you literally wont speak anything. You wont think Anything since everything you had in your life. Everything that youu have in your mind is flushed out by either tears or laughter for last 6 days. The last 3 days were literally the most peaceful Ive ever felt. It sounds stupid for someone who doesnt know this but this honestly works. And one of the random people I found there havee me this "sex" book. He was like a random npc in rpg game. Comes, gives one of the most important thing, you never see them again. He just spawned into my life, gave me this book and I dont know if he is alive anymore.

>> will give reading a last chance, cause I can pretty comfortably do mangas so maybe i thought i still might have a knack for reading but if I dont i am thinking of listening to audiobooks as well.
You should start honestly. I recently read The Alchemist and it was a masterpiece. No wonder its one of the most sold standalone book ever if not the most.

>>How's your workplace is it chill as well? I am like kinda worried about something. Like what if they just pressure you with work and scold or get angry when you mess up just cause you re a newbie. I
Need no worry. Its already like my second family tbh. The owner didi at first looked like she would be strict since she had that fking aura man. But she ended up being one of the most humble and nicest person I've ever seen. The work place is chill. There is a 16 y/o brother and he is pretty introverted so I dont talk to him much because I rrespect his personal space and also that there is nothing we can talk about since he is fking 16 and there is clear knowledge gap. But he is a nice kid. And there is a 28 yrs old sister. She is really nice person to talk to but she is a traditionalist so its so fking fun to make fun of her sometimes. But she doesnt take it seriously coz she knows I dont mean them.

>>I love coffee I dont hate is but milk is not good for my stomach so I avoid it. Just hot water with lemon is enough for me.
I honestly cannot digest milk much either. Thats why I rarely drink cappuccino or latte. Im fine with cold milk coffee drinks but once its heated I dont know what the fk happens to me.

>>cant stand raw tomato which is in like chatpate, chowmin and noodles. Hating tomato is hating momo lmao.
I cannot imagine chatpatey withoutt the tanginess that tomato gives it. Tomato might be my favourite flavour enhancer. Its pretty disgusting to eat it by itself but tomato makes everything better imo.

Youre smoking lore is pretty interesting. Now tthat I think about it. The first time I tried cig was in class 77 as well. Both bibek and I stared same time. Coz of school frrnd ofc. I smoked for like 3/4 months and stopped so I honestly dont reaally say I started there. I actually started to smoke quite recently like 2 years is nothing. I dont kknow why thhe fk am I like this but I once thought of quitting cigarettes but then I sat back and thought for a while and I came to the conclusion that "there is no reason for me to". I dont really care about the whole cancer thing since I donnt care about living long life anyways. And smoking hasnt become a threat to my any relationship and Ive enough money to smoke". So why should I stop. And I just continued lmao.

>>Have you always been like this? Not gaining muscles and weights?
Janmajaat sukutey. I was okaish when I was kid but my bone structure stayed thin as I grow up so I dont think Ive ever seen myself with healthy bmi.

>>It should have happened when i was like 15, 16 and maybe it would have mattered more.
It should've happend whan I am like 22/23 and it definitely matters more.

>> I live in Chabahil. I have exam today i need to be out at 11 and i dont think i will return soon. Also im kinda sick i have minor tonsil and I dont know what would happen If i smoke in that condition. I would like to meet you tho just not today. We can hook up next time.

Chabahhil? Thats really closee from where I work. Like 15 min from bus. Thats fine man. I went to my frnds house yesterday and smoked few sticks. I dont even remember what the fk I post in Instagram while I was high lol. And it seems I fked myself up. I was talking to this chick recently and it looks like I admitted that "I sttarted to talk to you coz I was lonely since I just broke up". What the fk did I do lmao. My frnds say itt was me but I doubt it was me lol.

Ive been suffering from sore throat and and intense cough for like a week now and chain smoking has made me feel better. Your tonsil will go away if you smoke one stick. Trust.

>>. I to this day dont like kids and i hate letting things go according to them, so i think i will not be a spoiling parent. But I can change, thats far in future and a lot is yet to happen.
I love kids. (This sounds terrible without context though). I mean i do hate kids that are like 6/7yrs old. They be real noisy for no reason. The little ones are so adorable. I will spoil my kid ffor sure. By spoil I dont mean not saying anything to them despite their mistakes. But Ill give them anything they ask for. I recently realized this thing about myself that there is really nothing that I do for myself that makes me happy. Im happy when Im around people I love and I do something for them. After my breakup. I sat back and tried to think "with the money Im gonna earn. What should i get myself. And the answer was nothing. Couldn't think of a single thing I wanted".

>>It is funny indeed. Its sad when people die but cmon what do they think while taking their own life? Like they would get a second chance? They get to restart all of this?
Plus its pretty selfish. Okay like you are sad. U cantt do this anymore so you die. You are free from your pain but tthe pain wont just vanish. Itt will just transfer to people who loved and cared for you. You were sad, you suicide, now your parents, ur frnds are sad. The sadness is still there. That shits selfish bro.

>>already did internship once and it was not easy. I dont want to experience that again.
So whatt do you wanna do? Not pursue coding anyymore?

>>But damn 16 is too early lmao. Werent you till in school?
I completed 10 at that time. Idk the feeling came just from watching others ig. My frnds werent much good financially so thwy worked. So I also thought I should as well. No reason other than that.

>>Whenever I think about it I get less shocked these days. I would say I have learned to shift my mind whenever I try to think about it. I dont think I have ever shared this to anyone except you. Maybe all I had to do was share once? Man idk.
Welp they say "If you share joy, there is double the joy and if you share pain, there is half the pain". So thats great that you shared this with me. Though I might bully you if I ever see you. regarding your fear.
Fear of death is natural ill say. Its just mattter of time yyou start accepting it as iis and see how amazing the world gets aftter that. Good luck mate.

>>, but being introverted leads to more other things like lack of communication skills, no socialization, socially awkward which is what I dont like about myself
So looking at the recent msgs. Im pretty certain you wanna socialize but arent able to. Thats where your frustration comes from. i borderline usedd to be antrovert. I wont say I was. There was a period of time when I felt like an introvert but I really wasnt. I just didnt wanna talk to anyone not that I couldn't if I wanted to. But youre is opposite It looks. I think the communication skills comes overtime as u start socialising. You dont learn communication skill then start socialising like tthat doesnt happen. Bare tthrough it man honestly. It might ffeel awkward for one time maybe 3 times. But yll adapt. Plus introvert persons I dont know how they really feel inside but I think they care too much about other's opinion on themselves. But lemme tell you we do not fking care. We have our lives to live. We dont have time to judge others on not being able to socialise. Infact I personally like socialising with person who isnt social. I might learn few things I dont know myself.

>>But sometimes it sucks to see how limited things are for me outside when am all alone and I cant do it because i am a pussy. That is what disgusts me about myself.
Hold on. Relax. Dont be mean to yourself.

>>He must have really loved sex.
Lmao he is one of tthe chillest guy Ive seen. There are tons of these so called philosophers who deny everything bad they do. But this Osho gguy us crazy lol. He said he sex anyone and will openly admit it. Its just thatt his way of thinking is beyond what Ive seen ever in my life. Not just in sex but anything.
Also that wasnt a poem. It was just collection of his quotes he said randomly someday.

>>Reading books is not really my thing. but I am trying to get into it.
I am not a book reader as well. I only read poem books and few novels if its overly acclaimed ones.
Its really the hardest thing to get into imo. Like who tf reads when you can watch videos, listen the audio book.

>>I have seen vlogs of foreigners comparing Nepal with India and most of them really say Nepal is better. I dont think its a lie because a person wont disappoint their main source of views(which is India ofcourse) for nothing.
I think Nepali people are pretty chill. I havent seen a kanda of like nepali scamming foreigners or anything. Everytime I see some bideshi vlogs in nepal. Ive seen nothing but nepali enjoying theirr days talking with a kuirey and thats pretty wholesome.

>>also am very far from milk tea and coffee stuffs. I only drink lemon tea and if I really want to drink coffee i just drink black coffee.
I love coffee man. If you can't tell already. I especially love this drink called "Afogato" which is basically icecream with espresso. Me who cant eat sugar stuffs this drink just hit the spot coz ice cream sweetness is toned down by the bitterness of espresso. And its just at the limit of sweet thatt my body can handle.

>>I cant stand tomato, iskus mula ko tarkar, bhyanta also but depends on the way its cooked. Besides these I will literally eat anything thats given to me.
Bro. I cant imagine eating any tarkari that doesnt have tomato. I dont like to eat tomato itself but the enhancement of flavour that it does is fking insane. I love iskus. Vyanta I feel pretty negatively as well but Ill eat it. There isnt anything that I wont eat. Only thing Im picky about is the meat. I wont eat anything otther than chicken. For vegetables I dont think there is anytjing that I wont eat.

>>Why did you start smoking? I did stop but I would go for weed once in a while like very rarely. Like once every 6 months.
I dont know honestly. My frnds used to smoke but I stayed away from it but idk maybe one day I just wantted to give it a try and once I knew about how it feels maybe I tried to go for anotherr one day wheree I fight with my ex. Probably thats how I started. But Im not sure lol. Its so vivid. Its been likke a year since I last smoked weed. And im honestly dyying for one. I have a meeting with my frnd tomorrow and he said he will bring some weed so cant wait. If you wanna smoke then lets meet and smoke together. Where do you live.?

Gastrric made me feel like my stomach was literally on fire, it caused indigestion, i was constantly vomiting despite me not eating anything. Dont wanna feel thatt ever again. Thanks.

>>damn, i am like 5'7, Whats your weight tho? I maybe 57 or 58.
Im like 52/53. 5'7 and 57/58 sounds skinny but thatts actually nott that bad. If I wanna have healthy BMI. i should be likke 70/80 kg. Andd Im 30 off of tthat.

>>My mom is really very much opposite of what i am, so the kind of problems i face is very foreign to my mom
Ill say my mom is pretty much same as well. I mean I dont think most moms in this generation can relate to problems of their kids. Though I feel like I will be able to relate to lot of things that my kids go through though. But idk maybe things will change even more by then.

>>I wont every commit suicide just because my parents didn't listen to me and my problems. I am not at that stage and will never be.
I really dont wanna do this but I really find suicide funny lmao. I dont mean the person who commit it but the concept of 'suicide' itself. RIP to people who commit it though. Imagine dying coz u are sad. Like okay. I can never.

>>Hope you keep on writing and I get to see it as well.
Ill post them. most of them. I have completed another one like yesterday though I dont think Ill be posting it lmao. Its kind of stupid.

>>I used to go to this calisthenics park to do pullups and other workouts that require iron bar.
Nice man. Taking care of social and physical health at the same time does sound nice. I cant do a pull up even if my life depends on it. I used to be able to do few when I used to go gym now I dont know what happened.

>> I also am searching for a job. Better if its my field, even if its not i would love to do it for the experience and just socialization.
Its better if its something that interest in. I got few job opportunities in different thigns. My dad found for me but I didnt join coz I just didnt wanna do anything that didnt interest me. So I just persisted my way through the current job.

>> When did you feel like you need to get a job and work? Like since when did you realize i cant live like this everyday? After 12?
I think the thinking of oh "I should be working" came immediately when I was like 16. Idk why I felt coz I really didnt have to. But my "oh this is getting too late now" kinda mind came when I hit 20. But still I didnt get a job for next 2 and a half years so those 2 and a half year had some of the worst "maybe I am being a burden to my family" kinda though. I mean if I was studying then I wouldnt have felt that tbh but since I wasnt working nor studying I was just being a burden. IMO.

>>Were you ever scared of death or have you always been so optimistic about it?
I dont really even remember what I used to feel about this. As long as I remember I was optimistic about this. So might as well say I always was. I still remember the day my grandma died. She was someone who loved me the most and she also was the person I loved the most. She died like 6 years ago. And her death was the only death I cried for despite me seeing like 10 already. Idk why I felt this but everytime I saw someone die "I didnt feel sorry" I just wished "they liked being here" like everyone has to die. Some just go sooner than other. Life is unpredictable and no one can predict what happens tomorrow. You might as well die tomorrow. Fk that I might as well die while writing this so I wanna make sure I have fun rn. I still have this thought but Im starting to feel the need of thinking about future a bit more recently lol. But no matter what my thoughts were I never was scared of death. Its a beautiful thing imo. Your life has meaning coz you will one day die. If there was no death you wouldnt enjoy life since you have eternity to do things. there is no sense of urgency no sense of "lets do this today, coz we might get the chance to do it tomorrow.". The awareness of death makes people live fulfilling life, appreciate what they have coz one day it wont exist. I think most people must have this on back of their mind like even if they dont realize it yet.

>>Thats also why I try to socialize these days. Overthinking is also a type of depression which I dont wanna be a patient of.
I dont suggest watching yt videos for these things but you should check out Dr Alok's Healthy GamerGG youtube channel. He has some of the best yt videos about pretty much anything u are going through in your life.

>>I think its very shameful to be a introvert in this country. Cause the people are really friendly or even not less than a family. Not everyone ofcourse.
First of all, its important to recognize that introversion is a natural personality trait, just like extroversion. Being introverted doesn't mean you're any less of a person or less capable of contributing to society, even in a place where people are friendly and social. Introverts simply tend to feel more energized by alone time and might prefer deeper, one-on-one interactions rather than larger social gatherings. This is not inherently "wrong" or "shameful" it's just who you are.
Being introverted is completely fine since youre just valuing your personal space and prefer solitude. Thats completely okay. Ultimately, it’s about accepting yourself and recognizing that there is no one-size-fits-all in how we connect with the world. You don’t need to be anyone other than yourself.
There is no point tryna fit in. Its better to be happy being someone who you are than being unhappy trying to be someone you are not. But if you really wanna not be introvert then, you should just let time do its thing. If you are not able to socialize well then thats fine coz different people need different time to adapt. Unless you completely give up on yourself then thats a different thing, If not then there is more than enough time. Reminder :- "You don't lose when you fail. You lose when you give up"

>>I mean its important to have a self realization, but what if im not working on the change? I have realized many things about myself but have worked on very few.
I dont have anything to say here tbh. Just stay consistent,take small steps, ovetime they will show results.

>>Daamn why lmao??
Im just kidding. Its the single most satisfying thing there is, Physically, emotionally anything. Read this book by Osho named "sex" this book changed my perspective on sex all together. its just collections of his quotes so its very easy to read. I will send my favorite part of this book. In literally the first 3 pages he says
"Sex is not your creation.
it is gods gift
to enjoy and celebrate
it is participation of this great festival that existence is.

Who said sex is dirty?
all life exist through sex and it grows out of it

A flower looks so beautiful- have you observed?
this too is sexual
a bird singing in the morning beside hermit's cottage looks beautiful
but you know that beautiful sound is the sexual invitation?
he is seeking the partner, the lover
Wherever there is beauty, There is sex."

I will literally suggest this book to anyone. Regardless if you are gay, straight, in love,, single, married. anyone.


>>I can say the same as well, but looking at that time's economy I think it was okay-ish.
Mine too. It was okay for basic living but not enough if I want to have a little extra fun., Now I think we are living good.

>>Not cause I was a good child just cause I was pretty dumb to know things like that and at that time there were no kids around me to get jealous
I wasnt the type of kid to show off stuffs and also not someone who gets jealous over anything. but still I wanted lot of things just coz they looked cool. I didnt give a fk about showing off. I just wanted to buy some cool shit and be happy playing it.

>> Still i am grateful for what they have done and of course I want to repay them.
Relatable man. Same feeling different cause. Also different way of appreciating. You wanna make them happy while I want to repay by being like my parents to someone else.

>>Like I still cant say I love you to my parents. I wasn't brought up that way.
That has to be a myth bro. I m pretty sure it only exist in movies. I talk with my parents a lot. And its pretty chill conversation but never in my life have I ever said I love you mom or dad. I dont think I ever can. I love them to death but mouth wont allow it to come out.

>>I dont think showing appreciation exists in this country. If like people receive koseli for other they just repay with their koseli next time. Havent really heard people say thank you or dhanyabaad.
This is honestly my favorite thing about this country, The way of appreciating is so fking amazing. I mean there will be basic thank you ofc but the fact that they wont let it slide by just a thank you and will repay you with more than what you gave them is so cool to see.

>> I dont know if its my special talent or not but i like and dont mind consuming these bitter stuffs that are supposed to be healthy. Like whenever im sick i dont mind those hot water with jadibuti mixed in. I also like hot water. I like karela.
Lets not talk about bitterness. I work at cafe. I drink like 3/4 espresso shots daily. I personally cannot digest sugar much. I love to eat sugary stufss like who the fk doesnt like candy but my stomach wont allow me to eat it. Thats the only gripe I have with my health. ThT I CANT control over. I need to be in better physical shape but thats something I can get better at but fk how do I get better at eating sugar when my body wont let me? I started smoking around the time I stopped drinking. I used to drink in occassions but never smoke but 2 years ago in my birthday I drank so much that I started to vomit blood. Havent had a single sip of alcohol since.

>> I am thin and i also have high metabolism but my bones are pretty strong. Never had a broken bone, didn't get corona, haven't gotten dengue yet. What I have is never ending gastric which really burns my chest at night, thats also why I stopped smoking. Beside that I am pretty much healthy.
I have really thin bone structure. I dont remember myself suffering from any diseases either. I havent even got bitten by anything. Its just that my weight is way too low and my height is 6 ft. My back hurts when I stand still for like 5 minutes, MY posture needs a bit improvement. Gastric is one of the wrst thing man. I once suffered from it. Never again. Its was like 2 years ago. And that was the single most painful thing Ive ever experienced.

>>I mean you might not be able to think if you are dead.
Welp if I got into an accident and immediately died then ya ofc I wouldnt be able to think. But if they diagnose me with some terminal illness and I have liek only 6 months to live then I have enough time to look back and think about what things I regret in life.

>>Wont be doing that.
Im very very sad.

>>Not gonna pretend like I understand this sentence.
I mean like. If you know you shouldn't get mad over things that is so trivial but still you get mad over those things then there is something definitely wrong. Since if you know that its not something to get mad then you wouldn't gett mad. Idk how else to explain tthis lmao.

>>I dont think even an emotionally unstable person clings onto things for so long, its just not trying to move on ig.
This is the best way to put it.

>>Like if im broke and i ask for suggestions people are obviously gonna say you should get a job.
Lmao justt remembered this one vid of a girl on insta.
She said "If you are homeless, just buy a house".

>>So whenever they share their problem with their parents they really dgaf.
This is partly true. For me even if my parents dont truly understand how I feel. They will try to help me anyways. Like when I broke up the first person I told about it was my mom. I said "This happened and Im not feeling well" and she understood me. She didn't say shit like k vayo tw bachhai xas. Aile bela vako xaina or anything like that. She told me how good I look, how good of a manners I have, how friendly and nice I am and how approachable I am to strangers. My mom dont know me completely. Like she doesnt know how I am outside the house but she still did what she could to make me feel better. And im thankful for her.

>>Its just gives a sensation of relief knowing it aint a bigger problem
Thats actually good enough. But sometimes you might want to share whatt u feel with someone and it can be your mom since sometimes when you talk abouut your problems with someone, you arentt sharing coz u expect them to hwlp solve it. But rather you just want someone to listen to you and who better than someone who knows you from the day you were born.

>>You start thinking of rhyming words rather than trying to sum up your experiences which I have faced too. It can ruin your writing as well, could lose the touch of realism.
I felt this while writing "Bring me your love". Like I had tons of things to say but I couldn't coz itt would rhyme with pre existing sentence. So I just made it as simple as possible. I mean sometimes simplicity does help.

>>I would say its my day to day life. That was around when I left my internship and i was back to my normal workless routine.
The poem does makes sense tto me now. I especially like the first 2 lines. I can relate to this as well. There uused to be days when I felt shit living off of my parents money while I myself wasnt initiating on ddoing anything productive for myself. Whatt you you doing these days though?

>>Death is indeed a scary thing if you look it that way. Everything is pretty normal to everyone even if you are gone. The time passes, alive people live, the sun shines, earth revolves, maybe this is what people are scared of?
People often go through phases of questioning and uncertainty, especially after encountering loss or trauma. It can be exhaustiing And while its natural to wonder about the nature of life, death, and purpose, sometimes it helps to take a step back and let those thoughts breathe. You donnt need to figure everything out right now. You dont need to solve the puzzle of existence to start living meaningfully. Everything will unfold slowly.
In time as you process these experiences and your own feelings about them, you might come to a place where youre more at peaace with the idea that lifes purpose can be something you define for yourself. Your experiences, thoughts, and emotions have value nno matter how fleeeting or impermanent they may seem in the grand scheme of things.

>>There are so many mysteries we will never learn the truth about and so many things will go unnoticed. We wont be able to experience everything
About this. You might not have all the answers now, and some things may remain unknown but over time you might find that accepting uncertainty can also bring peace as it can free us from the burden of needing to know everything. I grew into this conclusion about the world and tthings I might never know.

>>Hope I will learn things in coming days that will help me grow as a person. I might start appreciating the life I have even more. This is not how I want to live my life for sure, being scared of death every time.
Youre atleast recognizing your fears and your desire for change. Sometimes its less about having a grand understanding of life and death and more about simply living with intention and care. And who knows if embracing your liife throuugh its mysteries might givve you a new perspective on this while thing. Maybe yll find deeper appreciation for life.

>>That's also a thing to experience for once ig lmao.
Thats for sure. Thank god I got to experience it already. Its honestly pretty overrated.

When I used to be a kid. Our family wasnt too good financially. I mean it was enough most of the time but it wasnt enough for extra luxury that I wanted to have. Buut still my parents never said no to most thinggs I say. That time I didnt feel much about it. But more and more I grrow up. More and more I understand what my parents sacrificed for me to get whatever I wanted. And I cant thank them enouugh. And thats how my fantasy of raising a kid came to light. Like what my parents did for me I wanna do for my kid. And I already can guarantee, that will be the happiest Ill ever be. If I give them things they want and if their eyes shows genuine appreciation then I might as well cry on the spot. Since I never had that appreciation for my parents when I was a kid. Stupid kid I was.

>>Damn thats like 50/52? You really want to die early? Thats like my das's current age
Lmao thatts whatt I say to my frnds like. 28 ma bihey, 30 ma euttta xori, 50 ma death. Its a inside joke in ny circle. By 50 Ill happily die doesnt mean I wanna die at 50. I mean when I achieve what I want in life. Then from then on I'll just acceept death anyday it asks me.

>>But what if you live for 90 years? Do you drink or smoke? How is your diet? What if you die before that tho? Like even before 30s due to unforeseen circumstances?
If I live till 90 then I might get a time to raise another batch of kids Ig. Grandkids dont sound too bad.
I quit drinking like 2 years ago but I do smoke.
Abouut my diet. I eat really well. I rarely eat junk. Buut still myy BMI is ttrrash. I have stupidly high metabolism. I cannot seem tto gain weight no mattter how much I eat. How is your? Do you smoke? Or drink?
If I die in like 30's then Id ve very sad. Lol. Ya like I just thought about it and I think if im like 32/33 and Im not yet on my way to achieve what I aspire to then Ill have the existential crisis. Like everything I wantted to do I didnt. I couldn't. So what was the pointt of me being here and all those stuffs. I might think like that purely coz of regrret. But idk. Im not dead yet.

>>Its not getting too good.
Hope i dont have a "Kalo Jibro"
If you're kalo jibrey then I hope youu curse me saying "hope he dies at 50 aftter raising a kid to theirr adultthood" thanks in advance

>>Once all your emotional frustration is gone you can work on the logical side.
I agree with this one. I realized this shit too late now. But better late than never I guess.

>>Though sometimes it isnt a big deal but you spoil yourself into becoming too emotional for things that you shouldnt be
This is a problem imo though coz once u know you shouldnt be but if youre still the same then that asks for something. Either you are emotionally unstable or you are coping with the fact that something bad as happened to you. And both are as bad.

Also this thing that I learned after my breakup is that there are tons of people saying "if you are gping through hard times just stay yourself busy like do this do that" keep your mind distracted. and if you ask me that shit never works. It doesnt make ur suffering go away it just postpone when you suffer. Like if you stay busy for 20 hours. Then rest 4 hrs will haunt you. I find actually facing things head on is the best way to do it.

THanks for reading my poems. I write in english coz I know more english words than nepali simply. Plus I generally find writing in english comfortable than nepali. My first poem was written in rhymes coz I wanted to try out that style. And I never did anymore after that. I felt like my abilities was limited when I rhymed. Like I was forced to rhyme so I didnt have much things to play around many words I had to discard. The freestyle poems just hit that spot for me. Now I dont think IlL EVER look back.

Your poem was really nice. the way u wrote is really good but I simply dont understand the topic of this poem. Id like to hear whats ur inspiration behind this was.

>>I am not good with summarizing my experience in this kind of format.
Its fine. It doesnt matter if you are good or not only thing that matters if that you actually have the courage to pick up a pen and write about your feelings and experiences.

>>I dont think we are connected on insta. Kuwushall is my username.
lmao I found ur id before seeing this lol. I found you on people yu may know as it seems bibek follows you. More proof of us living in a simulation.

>> I dont think life itself is meaningless. I think existence is meaningless. Existing just to vanish someday completely.
Youre not wrong about this for sure but its definitely not something I think anyone should really care about tbh. I dont have any right to say how others should live but dwelling about things that isnt something controllable and potentially losing the present is pretty stupid thing to do imo. But I do understand why these people feel certain way.

Your thought about death and not being able to talk clearly about what you think is justified lmao since its a pretty dark topic. Its a complete blend of complex emotions. Its not easy to explain. And I dont think I have much to say about it further since you yourself do realize that life isnt meaningless and its just that we lack a purpose in universal scale which I too dont think we do so we have almost same perspective on this. Only difference being that Im more optimistic about life and death while you arent.

>>The journey is meaningful if you have a destination
I dont know if this shit sounds too corny or something but Ive already thought about how I want my life to go. I have this stupid ass fantasy. I ask people about theirs and most of their answers are related to sex fantasies while I just wanna raise a kid. I have personal reasons to why I feel this. Thats literally all I want in my life. Like I wanna get married and have children by like 30/32 and I wanna raise a kid. and once they are adult like 20/22. Ill happily die. Like I dont see death as my final destination. Its far into the future but I have this set on my mind that my final destination isnt death but giving a kid good life, and once I achieve it. Thats where my destination ends. Ive literally never thought of "death" as my final destination. Its to me is more like a post credits of a movie. My destination is the ending of a movie while death is just like a post credit, Just a transition. I hope this makes sense.

>>Maybe a good friendship can be compared with a good relationship but a good relationship cannot be compared with a
good friendship.
Ya. almost. In a good relationship you will find good friendship plus lot more.

I forgot that i wanted to explain the frndship and relationship a little more but I dont know why I didnt.


It’s true that a deeply meaningful friendship can feel very similar to a romantic relationship in terms of emotional intimacy, trust, and support, especially when both parties share a strong connection. In fact, some romantic relationships start off as friendships, and the transition to romance can sometimes feel natural because of the strong foundation built on mutual respect and understanding. But again the physical intimacy and shared goals in life do add the layers in the relation. I understand what you mean but forr me reelationship is friendship with multiple different dynamics that its not really comparable. The emotional bond you feel in a good relationship is only found in one place and thats a good relationship.

>> I think if its a strong relationship and friendship its basically the same thing except for the physical thing.
I strongly believe this isn't true atleast for me.

>>From that logic its like people dying but they say "i dont wanna be withyou anymore so im going to die". Lmao
Honestly it doesn't sound incorrect. Lmao

>>So did you become more logical or emotional after this?
Neither. I just realized there is time for everything. If its something that you have to use logic then be it. Fk emotions. But if its something that involves your deep emotions then whats the point finding logic? That's probably the most important thing I've realized. Since I always used to be this " oh this doesn't make sense so don't do it" kinda guy. I used to think everything logically. Like why the fk are we fighting. Is there a reason? if not then fk why are you mad at me? but its not as simple as that.

>>Are you willing to share them? I have written few poems as well. One is still saved.
I don't have a problem with it. Though I don't wanna share in comments. Ill dm you instead. And also Id love to read what you wrote. Ive been recently getting way too much into poems. If you find them fine then do read Pablo Neruda poems. His poems are amazing. His " Tonight I Write" and " Here I love You" is some of the best thing Ive ever read. I also started to post things I write from today on Insta. I have 3 long ass poems which I wont be posting but Ill post things I write from now on. Which I will make short.

>>Is the time table flexible? Whats the schedule cause this site says you messaged me at 11:30 yesterday and thats commonly the work hour.
I'm not sure. So basically we are 3 people working. There is one from 7-3. Im 10-6 and one brother is 12-8. But if I say "didi ma voli bihana auxu tapai mero time ma aunus hai" then she will agree. so in that sense yes its flexible. About yesterday no I was at work. I just wrote everything already in my notepad and just pressed send button around 11 am.

>>Instagram has become the main hub for memes and trends these day
And I absolutely love it.

>>Yes been listening to him lately. Before him i was listening to loud musics mostly .
He I cool. Too bad he died. I still once in a while listen to his songs. But Im not an avid Nujabes follower like I used to be since I don't even really care about that genre of music as a whole.

>>Its before the marineford arc Imped down arc. Luffy goes there to save ace and meets jinbei. That was a cool arc as well. Boa helpes luffy sneak into the prison.
ya that's an amazing arc. but it falls short compared to others ig, maybe coz its not even an arc per say. its like pre-marineford like a build up.

I understand where you're coming from, and I think nihilism does bring up the insignificance of humanity in the vastness of the universe. It’s true that nothing is permanent, and we can’t control or change many things about existence. But maybe thats exactly why the small meanings we create for ourselves matter. Even if life is just about living until we die, the experiences, connections, and even struggles we have during those 70-80 years give it weight if only to us and the people we touch. Maybe the purpose isn’t in trying to matter on a universal scale, but in embracing the fleeting beauty of simply existing, even if its just for a moment. Idk man.

>>My concept of nihilism is you are gonna matter to you and people around you but there still are inevitable things that you can do nothing about
I see your perspective, but I think the inevitability of certain things doesnt necessarily negate the value of our efforts or the meaning we create. Even if we can’t control everything or change the grand scheme of existence, the impact we have on ourselves, others and the world around us can ripple further than we realize. The fact that we matter to ourselves and those close to us might seem small in the vastness of the universe but its still significant because it shapes the shared human experience. Just because some things are inevitable doesn’t mean the journey toward them is meaningless.

>>If sleep is the state of unconsciousness and nothingness cannot be achieved in conscious state is it safe to say that we have experienced nothingness during sleep?
We dont remember it because conscious mind cannot grasp the concept of nothingness.
That's simply too deep for me to understand if Im being honest. But your " sleep" and "nothingness" doesn't sound something that I cannot agree upon. Idk man. Im blanked.

>>Maybe they were like a leader of particular community during the evolution phase
Thts something I thought of as well. But nowadays I don't even care. I just understand how important this whole concept of "god" is to the world. That it doesn't even matter if they were actual supernatural beings or just a random humans that people made out to be a god.

>>i also think aliens exist. It would be stupid to think that they dont. Universe has countless possibilities and people think there exists no other planets or life in other part of the universe
Ya that's a stupid thing to believe lmao. No way youre gonna sit here and tell aliens cant exist and we are the chosen ones like there isn't another 500 million billion trillion quadrillion planets like us. Aliens doesn't even have to be like how movies potray. They can be a micro organism and they are aliens. No way its impossible.

>>I also think there are infinite of planets that is straight up rip off of our planet. Infinites of me and you chatting through MAL
Thts a nice thought lmao. I hope the parallel versions of us are also fine with each other.

>>Can breakup be associated with the death of an closed ones? Like is the feeling same to when a person dies?
Its funny lol. Ive experienced quite a few deaths of my close ones and the pain of losing someone is same but in breakup we are literally grieving for someone who is still alive. breaking up pain is kinda all over the place. When I justt broke up. For few weeks I was kina lostt. I wanted to cry but I didnt find a reason to. Like why should I cry? Coz this chick left me? Or coz Im alone now ? Or coz I miss the memories or will I miss the potential future I could've had. Like what is the reason for the tears? So I didnt for lot of times. Then I read few books and I saw this line "Logic doesn't care about your emotion and emotion doesn't care about logic". And then I realize how wrong I was aboutt this whole thing. I was searching for logic when it didnt even matter. Im mostly over it now but still sometimes it feels kinda empty. Like I was used to having someone beside me everytime I did anything but now the silence does bother me a bit but Ive accepted it. Though since Ive broke up. Ive much more time to do things I like to. Like I used to read poems a lot and I always wanted to write one. And now Ive started to do it. Ive written 4 poems now. I feel much livelier now that Ive been able to write down my feelings Ive been carrying for 3 years.

>>Where did you start working is it near your house or is it far? Also congratulations for getting a job. Good luck with your work and life.
Its 3.5 km from my home so its rather near. Thanks man. Its a nice place. People are nice as well andd they do teach me tthings I dont know. I love what Im doing now.

>>I still dont care what others eat and how they are but what i understood is adapting these small things is how you develop.
I mean itts possibly the only wayy yo engage in a conversation with someone you dont even know like youu cant go to them and talk as if you are frnds for 10 years.

>> It was a hindi movie, dont remember the name.
Ya Sector 36. Do watch it

>>Its fun seeing different opinions clash in the internet until an indian nigga comes and comments "India best saar", "Virat kohli eats 10 ronaldo for breakfast"
Its rare seeing actually a clasing of an opinion. These starts off as a clash of opposite opinion but quickly turns into who can. Insult othher one better.
Ive been Getting into too much brainrot gay stuufs nowadays lmao. Idk why I find them so funny.

Ive heard of Nujabes ofc. He used to be one of my favourite music artists at one point of my liife. His Reflection Eternal, Aurarian Dance and Horn in the Middle used to be my favourite songs. Ive never heard his entire album bbut Ive heard his standalone songs. Idk i just started to get tired of the genree of music as a whole. You like him?

>>I like think that this arc uplifted the rating of hxh.
Chimera ant undoubtedly is the best arc in HxH. Yet I personally love Yorknew more. Idk maybe the kid me loved how fking cool Yorknew was. From a random 1v1 duels of Heavens Arena arc to absolute darkness of Yorknew was phenomenal. How quickly the tone shifted. And also it also introduced some of the coolest characters in HxH. Like Chrollo, Feitan and Nobunaga. In terrms of pure story telling and depth's pov Chimera ant is the best arc for sure but Yorknew was simply morre fun to watch.

Ive never though of favorite arc in One Piece but it has to be between Enies Lobby or Alabasta.

Enies Lobby has the highest high in all of one piece thematically. Luffy vs Lucci is still to this dattee my favourite fight in One Piece. This arc to me feels like the first time every straw hats got their time to shine and it was incredible. The whole Ussop coming back was Sogeking aftterr he left the crew was great. And the Ussop burning tthe worrld gov fflag while Robin saying hhow shee actually wants to live arre the best moment in one piece imo. But I dont know why. i love Alabasta. Maybe ccoz I find Crocodile cool? Idk. I watched this arc when I was like 13. So I ddont remember much but I remember I actually thinking this anime is good after I saw the Alabasta arc.
I dont even know what the underworld prison arc is. Is it the fishman island or the arc before thee marineford? Marine fordd was amazing arc but my only problem with it is that itts too long tthatt it should be. And I dont really like Wholecake.

>>experienced the death of two people within 6 months one very close and another not so close to me. So i would say my view on life changed rather than saying im scared of death.
Im sorry to hear that man.

>>Also i have become quite nihilistic. I dont think we have any purpose here at all. Cause even universe is dying oneday and we will never be able to stop it.
I honestly think Nihilism is the mostt stupid tthing people can follow. Liike I do understand why people feel certain way but its not hard to find meaning. Purpose doesnt have to be grand like I was brought in this world to do something that people 500 years after will remember me. While there might not be objective universal meaning or purpose for you being here but you cannot deny the fact tthat are personal meanings andd purpose you yourself can create through relationships, friendships or anything else. So do nihilist person justt deny tthat orr dont realize that?
While I dont actively hate Nihilism I find its pretty silly thing to follow. Though how you reached that point in life isnt somethig I know or something I have right to judge but do rethink.

The concept of nothingness is fascinating as well. Its also the part of the consciousness that Im amzed byy. Liike as long as youre conscious, you can never see nothing like its crazy. You close your eyes. You might think you dont see anything but you do see the color black. And the black is something. So youre not seeing nothing. What the fk does nothing even mean?
Ya I do think the concept of god is a good thing despite its hard tto prove their existence.

>>Why the fuck do we exist? And on top of that we have to live legally, morally and socially. My opinion is more based on Meaning of Existence.
The meaning is existence isnt something I can answer you. But Im certain about one thing. Me as a person I dont get overwhelmed by questions like this I dont find peace by solving some mystery about life. I find embracing the uncertainty of life to be so much better. The plain fact that we exist is more than enouugh for me. If im born then their must be a purpose that I might not realize yet.

>>Whats your opinion on gods and aliens?
I dont know how to explain this. Im not an atheist nor am I a religious. I think the whole conversation between these 2 grps aree stupid. They hhave their own beliefs yet no side have actually a proof to end the debate. So its just neverr ending arguments. I dont really care if god exist or not but I do think the concept of 'god' is one of the most important thing in this world. Like there are billions of people who live their lives, they find their way of living through their devotion to 'god'. And thats a good thing since they are disciplined and have some purpose in their life. So if god ddidnt exist. There are chances thatt the crime rate will sky rocket since there are so many people who are tied by this "sin" thing. And once thatt knot losens there will be no stopping them. There are countless illetrate people who dont know nothing about the world but they follow god. What supposedly 'god' told them is the philosophy they'll follow ffor the rest of their life. Its their way of living. And I dont see how that is a bad thing. I dont personally follow any gods but I neither deny the fact tthat they might exist while they might also not exist. Arguing about tthis is stupid. I dont know if Ive explained this well or not. Im unsure.

About aliens. I do believe aliens exist somewhere. I mean universe is almost endless. There arew like billion galaxies like ourrs. And each galaxy has billions of solar system like ours so. Youre gonna tell me tthere isnt a chance that not even one of them has thhe planett in the habitable zone? No matter how rare our existence is. I think universe is bigger than that "rareness".
Whats your view on gods and aliens.

Like Im obviously gonna watch Skip and Loaferr. I wont skip it. i dont think Im watching any new season shows anyttime soon. But something I like alreaddy. Hell ya. I have time for that

Im sorry man. Been through rough times and wasnt active anywhere. I just had a breakup with my 3 yrs relationship and also just started working at a cafe. Now that Im almost fully over my breakup I can start socialising again. I follow thiis simple principle that "whatsoever is given to you is precious". And this feeling helped me a lot. Not thinking and regretting about the things that went wrong but the things I learned whike being with her that I can implement on my future relationship. And I also started writing poems. Ive been feeling more alive and happy since I broke up. Not like I wasnt happy when I was with hher. Those were the best days of my life and itt still sucks thinking aboutt the future we could build. But there is no point thinking abouut it. I also rewatched Mushishi and fk I forgot how much I love this thing. The olderr I grow the more I appreciate its beauty.

>>I am literally tired of my lonely-only-stay-in-home life and I really look forward to meeting people these days maybe thats what i enjoyed more than the festivals.
Thats nice. Youre growing as a person. Ive always said being happy alone is very doable but finding happiness is so much easier through other people.

>>I have kinda socially started taking risks these days.
I believe in ''You dont lose when you fail. You only lose when you dont try". Nice to see you going out of your comfort zone. Well thats a best way to start doing things youre not used to. Just doing it

>>Idk if somethings wrong with this site or a MAL tab is secretly running somewhere in my phone
It used to happen to me too. When I open laptop and open google. It automatically runs MAL on background. Now that I logged off. It wasnt the problem.

>>I havent. I might but not very soon. Maybe one day.
I honestly dont remember what I asked you to watch here lmao.

>>Snoop dogg is prolly the second popular name after 2pac in terms of influence but I literally know nothing about snoop dogg
I think Kanye is the single most influential rapper in the world. He almost single handedly created the whole ''post-gansta" rap music. Plus his versatility is insane. As much as his new albums sucks ass. His older discographies are prolly the most influential music in rap history.

>>There are people saying "if you dont like dont listen to the music
They're just tryna deny the criticism of their favourite music. I simply have no words for it. I agree to then to an extent like ofc you don't like it then dont listen to it. But as you said. You have to listen first to decide whether you like it or not. For me I never argue with people who say "if you dont like this then why consume it" like wtf. I dont like it doesnt mean i cannot consume it. Ive enough patience that I can wait untill I can finally appreciate it. If I was like "I dont like this so I will never listen to this" then I would still hate Pink Floyd.

>>Future's been getting quite mumbly lately tho
He is almostt a mumble rapper buut I love his flows and beat selection. And thats pretty much all I care about new school raps. This is the same reason I like Travis. Cole Kendrick have these plus insane lyrics so they standout the most.

>>Do you like his latest album from which the kendrick drake beef again started?
I literally havent listen to it. Ive heard only the beef song.

>>But from what i have seen i feel like you will like 21 savage? Have you never listened to him? If not maybe give it a try.
21 is fine. Ive not given his album a try but Ive heard few of his songs and they were cool but it didnt make me interest in his discography. Though Tyler is getting better every fking album. He will go down as one of the best rapper from this era.

>>What do you think about grimmjow?
Im neutral about him too. Ive always loved these randomly bloodthirsty characters. They just have this weird aura around them which makes them being on the screen always fun to watch since you dont know what the fk they will do in next minutte. But I personally dont have much esle to say about him. He is fine ig.

>>I didnt know you liked mereum. It makes sense why you like him now that you have compared him with Ulquiorra.
Meruem is def my top 10 antagonist in anime and manga. Reason I like Ulquiorra is tthe exact reason I like Meruem buut Meruem is the more grand version of Ulquiorra. His entire connection with that blind Gungi kid is phenomenaly done.

>>But randomly changing a character from what the viewers are used to viewing would be bad.
This is true but I do believe Aizen's was well potrayed. I dont like Aizen much but the closure to his character was good.

>>What characters do you hate from bleach?
I dont think there is a character I hate in bleach. Ill say characters like Aizen, Kenpachi are glazed more than what they deserve. And I hate that. But I dont hate them as a character. So to answer youur question. No I dont hate any charactter in Belach. Do you hate anyyone? Now that I think about it I do have bad opinion abouut Yammi. So ya he might be tthe closest character that I hate.

>>Lmao how did you learn about it?
One of my 20 yrs old brother told me about it.

>>Are you not scared of death and growing older? What do you think of death and evolution?
Im not scared of death in the slightest. Infact im kinda fascinated by Death but not death itself. I love the seer concept of Evolution as well. In this entire world, there is one thing that fascinates me like nothing else. And thats ' consciousness '. This thing has always made my brain hurt. Like what is this that we're seeing. Everyone has different consciousness and everyone sees everything differently. Itts already fascinating enough by itself and now to add the 'death'. It becomes more fascinating. Like wtf happens to us when we die. The world we arew seeing, the way we feel things, the way we know we are here. What the fk happens to our consciousness after we fking die. How will it fade away? Can we feel our consciousness fading away and never coming back? Thats the most insane thing I can think of. So no. im not scared of death. Im fascinated by it. The connection between death and ouur consciousness. Everytime I think about it, it never fails to amaze me. About growing older. Im not concerned about it since Im not the type of person to live in future while in present. Im kinda adaptive type so Im just living as Im living. The future is the last of my concern.
Are you scared of it?

>>Hello sir how is it going? Hope you had a good dashain. I was out of kathmandu for 2 weeks for dashain. I clearly didnt miss kathmandu.
I had okay dashain and tihar. Hope you had nice one. I feel like Ive stopped enjoying festivals for long time now. Doesnt feel the way it used to be. Ive been really inactive recently as well. Only thing I did was watch a hindi movie called 'Sector 36' and my god it was easily the best bollywood movie Ive seen. The 2 main characters are pretty much the best written character Ive seen in Indian cinema. You should watch it if you havent.

>>Just recently dandadan's op song went viral as well so i just thought maybe thats how this genre these days works.
Shows how underground Im rn. Havent even heard it once lmao.

>>They were like culturally and socially dominated back then maybe that has changed.
It was just a matter of time though. Nothing stays unnoticed and uninspiring to other cultures for too long.

>>Isnt this the only two field from where black people started gaining popularity fame and money?
Im pretty sure these were the most black dominated fields back then but dont think its the case now at all. As much as I think Em is overglorified interms of his actual songwriting but his legacy is undeniable. Dude singlehandedly brought white rapping to the heights when no one took anyone but niggers seriously. Now there are as much white rappers making as big of a scene as the black guys. Dont know much about Basketball thou.

>>we could say what we are used to hearing and what we grew up with is dying
I think its for good tbh. Nothing can stay in their original state for too long without sounding outdated. Things like these has to change with ever changing audience. This doesnt mean old school rap is trash but if that was the only raps that exist today as well then Im sure Rap wouldve been dead long time ago.

>>Do you think you will like the newer version of rap? Will you ever check on mumble rappers? Like playboi carti and ken carson?
What do you mean by newer version. If new version applies to Kendrik, Cole or Vince Staples then Im fine with them. But I've never been a fan of music Playboy Carti, 21 etc produces. In same category I though like Travis, Future and somewhat like the pure chatoic and unhinged lyricism of Tyler. Other than that Im not too fond of others. Idk maybe other things will grow on me. How do you feel about this?

>>But aizen planing everything like bringing ichigo to soul society just sounds so bullshit man. It looks like author just gave that credit to aizen to make him more op. It didnt look pre planned.
Ive the same feeling as well. Like how Aizen fans claim that "oh everything was planned. Ichigo birth was planned, ichigo mom and dad meeting was planned oh this and that" and thats literally the funniest thing I can think of. Ya like what if Ichigo'a dad wore a condom. Who would plan Ichigo's birth now. Really stupid fanbase. Though I give credit to Aizen for being a pretty great representation of hype and this one grand character but other than that I see nothing special about him. I see Aizen as a bad reskinned version of Urahara that went dark.

>>But when he came near to defeat he started getting angry like a bitch. Thats not a sign of an op villain.
I don't have a problem here though. I think its pretty outcome considering Aizen has this goal of replacing soul king after seeing how soul king is like. He felt disgusted about the world he lived in. That must've filled his heart with hatred but he couldn't show it. Everything he was doing in the show was going fine for him so there wasnt anytime for him to show his emotions but after Ichigo fked him up then its pretty normal occurrence that he'd do what he did coz his goal was on the verge of being completely destroyed.
I atleast think Aizen has a level of depth of his character unlike cool characters like Madara. So even though I dont really like Aizen as a character I feel like he is not actually a bad antagonist.

>>Dude wasnt humane in the beginning but had a really humane ending. Bro really developed a lot in just a single fight.
Ulquiorra is Meruem of Bleach. I fking love Ulquiorra. The amount of character development he has in a single fight without looking forced is unbelievable.

>>I do like renji and madarame ikkaku as well. I always like yankee characters no matter what.
Renji is great. I dont like Madarame tbh. Renji and Isagi to me are the best non captain shinigami there is. The masked guys were pretty interesting as well the team led by Shinji. forgot their name. I loved Shinji and Rose.

>>dont mean to say that not knowing what gyatt and rizz means that we are dumb
Even I didnt know about what mewing, gyatt were untill yesterday. These things sound dumb to me.

>>But that doesnt mean we cannot work on something new of ourselves.
Ya I get what you mean. I don't think we have much to expose to the west but it is possible with how much we have rn. Maybe our leaders dont care about it? As much as I dont wanna sound too cheesy. I do think we definitely need more people like Balen in the politics. We are literally led by bunch of 50 y/o who dont know shit and doesnt care to know about shit about these things. I had this one conversation with my frnd. And we came to the conclusion that the reason Balen is so powerful rn is that he did what past politicians couldn't. Which is to be accessible to the younger audience. Old guys feels like someone who is superior to us but Balen feels like he is one of us. Older civilians might not have this feeling but Im sure young guys will.

>>But again its not as easy as a 21 y/o guy's ranting makes it sound. I dont think i ll get to see this country evolve as long as i live.
This is true. Thats why I dont really like talking about politics. There's no point. Its just bunch of random rants which ends up with "well now what".